Mature advice needed. There is dis lady i recently meet and fall in love with, she has a daughter of nine years from unprotected sex and for some reasons she doesn't intend to keep relationship/marriage with d father of her daughter. The problem now is dat her daughter is so use to her that she doesn't want her out of site. We rarely have moment alone, worst of it is dat she even create scene whenever she tries to keep off our present and this is beginning to give me concern. In as much as i don't see it as crime having a baby by mistake, i think i deserve a happy relationship like every other person.

That daughter tho

emzila:
Mature advice needed. There is dis lady i recently meet and fall in love with, she has a daughter of nine years from unprotected sex and for some reasons she doesn't intend to keep relationship/marriage with d father of her daughter. The problem now is dat her daughter is so use to her that she doesn't want her out of site. We rarely have moment alone, worst of it is dat she even create scene whenever she tries to keep off our present and this is beginning to give me concern. In as much as i don't see it as crime having a baby by mistake, i think i deserve a happy relationship like every other person.

Why is it giving you concern?

if u are dating a single mom. you have to also be considerate of the child

the child will see you as a stranger who wants to take the little time she has with her mom away

have u actually tried to know her as a person, taken them on trips to cinema (Frozen, Inside out etc)

poster above me got it perfectly right
If u love the mother u have to love the child or it will never work

Get to know her...and be her friend, let her see a reason to trust and accept you into her life and dat of her mum's....she is 9 trust me she isn't a child...she got her thoughts, belief, fears and worries get to kw all of dat and beyond...cos u need her approval n blessing only then can u get what u seek....n don't fake it be sincere cos she will sense it as time goes on....dat will be worse than nw.

This was what i did when i was dating a single mum anytime am on fone wt her i tried 2 talk 2with her on,ask her av u ean etc.buy her presents even biscuits or take her 2 mr biggs, b jovia playful when she's around u.
It worked 4 me.. She'l b d one disturbing her mom 2 invite u ova

you have to love the child.. see her as your own.. shikena. before you know it she will be calling you daddy




BTW
change your O to I at topic title.

the voice of the daughter is the voice of God.

date someone else sweetie.

ko sana nbe meaning no opening there.

Did they force u to date her?
If u cant cope wit a single mother then go 4 single babes

emzila:
Mature advice needed. There is dis lady i recently meet and fall in love with, she has a daughter of nine years from unprotected sex and for some reasons she doesn't intend to keep relationship/marriage with d father of her daughter. The problem now is dat her daughter is so use to her that she doesn't want her out of site. We rarely have moment alone, worst of it is dat she even create scene whenever she tries to keep off our present and this is beginning to give me concern. In as much as i don't see it as crime having a baby by mistake, i think i deserve a happy relationship like every other person.

You have very valid concerns bro.

If you are going to date her, then she has to create time for you two to be together. You both need to get to know each other naa.

The child is 9yrs and shouldn't be so clingy anymore. There are several ways to constructively engage s 9 yr old.

The lady needs to balance her time between her daughter and you. You both deserve her time. Pls have a heart to heart talk with her and voice your concerns.

Honestly this is not a big problem. Call her and discuss with her about it, tell her you feel and that have nothing against her having a child. I believe she wants the relationship as much as you do.

emzila:
Mature advice needed. There is dis lady i recently meet and fall in love with, she has a daughter of nine years from unprotected sex and for some reasons she doesn't intend to keep relationship/marriage with d father of her daughter. The problem now is dat her daughter is so use to her that she doesn't want her out of site. We rarely have moment alone, worst of it is dat she even create scene whenever she tries to keep off our present and this is beginning to give me concern. In as much as i don't see it as crime having a baby by mistake, i think i deserve a happy relationship like every other person.

This OP is not serious. You want to date a lady with a child and you think you can bypass the child. No way. Get the trust of the child first by being friendly with her and you will see what will happen. When i was in the dating game and i want to date a lady and i see her having siblings, nieces and nephew, i first of all become very friendly with them. I will just bounce in and announce that iam taking them out. They will then be the one doing the chasing for me.

NL1960:


This OP is not serious. You want to date a lady with a child and you think you can bypass the child. No way. Get the trust of the child first by being friendly with her and you will see what will happen. When i was in the dating game and i want to date a lady and i see her having siblings, nieces and nephew, i first of all become very friendly with them. I will just bounce in and announce that iam taking them out. They will then be the one doing the chasing for me.

noted, thanks

From the view of the child: Here is someone who will take mum`s love away and who I have to share mum with.
Give her time to get used to you. It is harder for her than for you.
Be patient.
Imagine if you get married and have kid`s. Your son or daughter has a big sister to take care and show love to her /him.
I think it is great that you are honest about how you eel to yourself.
Nine is already quite an age. Before you can blink an eye she will be all grown up.

Leave that relationship now! If na son maybe it would be better but Na daughter . I advice you to leave that relationship now before you cry back here to tell stories that touch.