cococandy

The day you agree the West also has issues... that will be the day

If not for BABE3, this argument will have gone for pages

In the old days and even in the bible

If a man impregnated a woman, he married her... babymamism was not a thing of pride

I see I was not so alone in my thoughts
Not everyone views the west with such sanctimony

***goes back to reading thread***

FrancisTony:

Na so my post pain you reach? You sound bitter!.

Oya, smack your head on the wall or jump inside thirld main-land because I am not the cause of your predicaments.

Yeye woman.

FrancisTony:

Na so my post pain you reach? You sound bitter!.

Oya, smack your head on the wall or jump inside thirld main-land because I am not the cause of your predicaments.

Lol. I watched this post get so many likes within seconds .. just like magic!
alternate monikers?

pickabeau1:
cococandy

The day you agree the West has issues... that will be the day

I could write a whole thesis on the issues the west has. Are we talking about Germany, France, UK, US, Australia, Canada or which west?

The day we would focus on our issues and not blame the west for it, that will be the day.

It's irritating to say the least.
Yay we don't have minds of our own. The west tell us what to do and how to behave every step of the way. Why does that not offend you?

Oh well let's agree the west is to blame.

coldHeat:

17likes

Anyone it's paining should kindly do the needful.
Had it been this post was bashing women, the hypocritical ilks won't emphasize much on it.
Just like a lady and guy called feminists pained/ugly/frigid b1tches and got huge amount of likes but none of folks here quoted them.

cococandy:


I could write a whole thesis on the issues the west has. Are we talking about Germany, France, UK, US, Australia, Canada or which west?

The day we would focus on our issues and not blame the west for it, that will be the day.

It's irritating to say the least.
Yay we don't have minds of our own. The west tell us what to do and how to behave every step of the way. Why does that not offend you?

Oh well let's agree the west is to blame.

thats what am talking about try to be broadminded and you'll be surprised how much truth you find.

troy20:

thats what am talking about try to be broadminded and you'll be surprised how much truth you find.

Broad minded means accepting we are not responsible for our behaviors but the west is?

My mind is broad now like Broadway.

@topic

All the parties get the blame surely - the married man, the single girl but society also get a big chunk of the blame.

The society gets the blame cuz it's almost like babymamas are now being idolized especially when the dude is rich and the girl can flaunt her ill-gotten wealth; and if she is lucky to marry the man eventually, waoh! she becomes a demi-god. So we have moved from a society that stigmatizes singles dating married men to one that makes them role models. I guess these days, whatever anyone does with his or her body is his/her right, so

All things being equal, the man should take the larger part of the blame because asides the fact that often times, he is the more matured one of the two parties who should have learnt the art of fleeing such temptations, he is also the one reneging on a vow he took with another party. But that's just theory, cuz in reality, he often loses nothing and the same society blames the wife instead for failing to keep her man from straying. Shitty world!!!

As for the girl, what can I say? She is being given the license more than ever to date anybody she likes, married or not as long as she is reaping from the union. And morality has become a "Greek" word she has never heard about. She lives by nobody's rules. Well, Karma calleth!

cococandy:


I'd think the bold was implied in my post. Seems I had to spell it out.

@ the rest of the post, the reason why I too can't think of a good way to punish side chicks is because they don't have much to lose in such a situation. How do you punish that kind of person?

The person who's married has more to lose.
And the married person has more power to prevent the situation from getting deep to start with.

If things go south, the single person walks and leaves the married one with the mess,heartbroken kids,wives and husbands to deal with.

Even if one can think of a good punishment for them, it won't solve the situation. The most effective solution is for married people to take their vows more seriously.

Ok at the bit you put in bold in my post.

Agreed. That's the reason I said the man has much more work to do.

aflyingbird:
lol, true. men don't know they can get played too. you're probably not your side chick's main man. and if you're ever in trouble she will drop you like it's hot. it's the poor woman you abandoned at home who's going to stand by you while your side chick has moved onto the next

Stand by who? Iffa hear say I stand by such a man eh

cococandy:


I could write a whole thesis on the issues the west has. Are we talking about Germany, France, UK, US, Australia, Canada or which west?

The day we would focus on our issues and not blame the west for it, that will be the day.

It's irritating to say the least.
Yay we don't have minds of our own. The west tell us what to do and how to behave every step of the way. Why does that not offend you?

Oh well let's agree the west is to blame.

Nope


Your post has no correlation to my post

Westernisation definitely has some side effects as you know

Rather than using bravado and sarcasm to make your points..argue constructively

His point was clear

Being proud as a Baby mama is not an African thing
Development and modernisation

Same with the gay thing

If you are offended by the ease of assimilation of western values that is a separate thing

That can also be discussed but dismissing the whole thing is not the way

cococandy:


Broad minded means accepting we are not responsible for our behaviors but the west is?

My mind is broad now like Broadway.

am not saying we shouldnt accept certain responsibilities.just that...maybe try accomodate the influence of stronger powers.shey u know united states greatest export na dia culture.

troy20:

am not saying we shouldnt accept certain responsibilities.just that...maybe try accomodate the influence of stronger powers.shey u know united states greatest export na dia culture.

they are not responsible for married men cheating on their wives.
That's just silly

My point from the beginning is that westernization is not to blame for married people cheating as he put it.

Of course you say in the old days the man would marry the girl.
Yes that's so much better. Bring the adultery and the disrespect home.
I'm not even arguing to start with much less constructively. Someone says the west is responsible for men cheating on their wives and I say it's bullshit. We are not arguing.

But to avoid long meaningless talk
I've bowed to pressure agreed with him.

It's the west and the girls that are to blame.
The married men have no fault in it.

What else do you want me to say?

pickabeau1:


Nope


Your post has no correlation to my post

Westernisation definitely has some side effects as you know

Rather than using bravado and sarcasm to make your points..argue constructively

His point was clear

Being proud as a Baby mama is not an African thing
Development and modernisation

Same with the gay thing

If you are offended by the ease of assimilation of western values that is a separate thing

That can also be discussed but dismissing the whole thing is not the way

still the same sarcasm... I hear you

cococandy:
My point from the beginning is that westernization is not to blame for married people cheating as he put it.

Of course you say in the old days the man would marry the girl.
Yes that's so much better. Bring the adultery and the disrespect home.
I'm not even arguing to start with much less constructively. Someone says the west is responsible for men cheating on their wives and I say it's bullshit. We are not arguing.

But to avoid long meaningless talk
I've bowed to pressure agreed with him.

It's the west and the girls that are to blame.
The married men have no fault in it.

What else do you want me to say?

pickabeau1:
still the same sarcasm... I hear you

If you have an opinion, you might as well state it.

His is that the west is to blame.
Mine is that it is BS.

What's yours?
Is today going to be another 'blame the west fest'

The topic is infidelity of single ladies and married men...right?

cococandy:


If you have an opinion, you might as well state it.

His is that the west is to blame.
Mine is that it is BS.

What's yours?
Is today going to be another 'blame the west fest'

pickabeau1:
The topic is infidelity of single ladies and married men...right?

yes.

cococandy:
My point from the beginning is that westernization is not to blame for married people cheating as he put it.

Of course you say in the old days the man would marry the girl.
Yes that's so much better. Bring the adultery and the disrespect home.
I'm not even arguing to start with much less constructively. Someone says the west is responsible for men cheating on their wives and I say it's bullshit. We are not arguing.

But to avoid long meaningless talk
I've bowed to pressure agreed with him.

It's the west and the girls that are to blame.
The married men have no fault in it.

What else do you want me to say?

I dont know who you are agreeing with cos thats not what I said.

If we can retrace our steps and return to our high levels of morality and shun western corruption maybe we can pull ourselves out if this quagmire.

This was the only phrase in which i mentioned the West.
All I was saying is that there are certain western influences that are detrimental to our society; not to put the whole blame of adultery on the west.
But as usual you came in, saw me mention "West" and as thier sole defender,nairaland's own Captain America, you went into hyperdrive.

Wether you like it or not Western influence has a way of affecting our culture especially when it comes to morality. It may not be totally responsible but it definitely plays a part.

cococandy:


yes.

The man, the lady are to blame/ personal responsibility and choice

They are not kids


The only time u can absolve the lady is when she is deceived but even that at a point..she is aware

5minsmadness:


I dont know who you are agreeing with cos thats not what I said.
This was the only phrase in which i mentioned the West.
All I was saying is that there are certain western influences that are detrimental to our society; not to put the whole blame of adultery on the west.
But as usual you came in, saw me mention "West" and as thier sole defender,nairaland's own Captain America, you went into hyperdrive.

Wether you like it or not Western influence has a way of affecting our culture especially when it comes to morality. It may not be totally responsible but it definitely plays a part.

Captain blame the west.

It's a habit of yours. And it's annoying.
Talk about any little thing and your first repsonse would be to blame the west. Let me even ask you which west are you blaming? All the countries in the Western Hemisphere of the world?

I only have a problem with you for you constant habit of denying responsibility all the time and finding a way to make it about this ominous western place that no one even knows the location of.

They don't blame us for the wrong things in their society. We are not sheep so we should take responsibility for our own too.

cococandy:


Captain blame the west.

I wonder what my costume will look like; anywho,it must have a cape

It's a habit of yours. And it's annoying.
Talk about any little thing and your first repsonse would be to blame the west. Let me even ask you which west are you blaming? All the countries in the Western Hemisphere of the world?

I only have a problem with you for you constant habit of denying responsibility all the time and finding a way to make it about this ominous western place that no one even knows the location of.

And your habit of defending them without first digesting what the post was about is annoying as well. Na your native country? Why you dey vex? Dem go deport you if you disagree with them?

Cococandy where did the term "Babymama" and "side-chic" originate from?
Not the concept o, the term itself?

5minsmadness:

I wonder what my costume will look like; anywho,it must have a cape
And your habit of defending them without first digesting what the post was about is annoying as well. Na your native country? Why you dey vex? Dem go deport you if you disagree with them?

Cococandy where did the term "Babymama" and "side-chic" originate from?
Not the concept o, the term itself?

What you term defense is actually not defense.
Defending them from what?
Else I'd be saying all western people are good godly people who don't sin and are at worst being influenced by others.

Telling you to take responsibility for your actions is not defending the west. I know I must agree with you for me to be not defending them.

If you speak English yes the words you use to describe those terms will be the same western words because you speak the same language as them. You really need to be told this too? #facepalm.

But is the concept new?
No.

We have Igbo words for babymama and they are not new words. They were in existence before the west came and 'spoiled' us.

edwife:


Lol you and your ganster friend.Y'all lucky,the police was not called on you.

That's how caroline gave her husband mistress a resounding slap in a salon and guess what? All the social media went on fire with many people commending her-some went to the side chic instagram page and showered her with curses.

Guess who is back on social media flaunting her new single boo ,when she was known flaunting a married man?

Don't mind her jare. She's my good friend and can't forsake her like that. I won't tell you how she dealt with the guy but he literally moved out for few months for starters... You know since that time I realized these lose girls need a iron hand before they heed to warnings. These wives dont joke with their own, if she tries calling the cops then she's a dead meat and ain't kidding here. You can't cause someone so much hurt and pain and now cry foul to the cops without any repercussion. They should move their pangolo Brazilian weaves pan handlings to a man who married a Mumu housewife that will continue to fast and pray for their repentance & karma. Today's Karma is right here and NOW.

Caroline New jersey, Same Caroline?? Well well, Good for her I say!!

The Rise of the Side Chick

Being a side chick used to be so taboo not too long ago. Most women who fell into the side chick category knew they were the side chick but most never truly accepted that role. Most side chick women back in the day held out hope that their man would leave his girl or his wife & start a true meaningful relationship with her. Even these women who were the side chicks, most of them probably never really came out and admitted to the public or to anyone for that matter that they were side chicks to a man. It was embarrassing & shameful to think that a woman would be so desperate that she had to share a man. Now the tables are turning.

Thanks to reality tv shows like Love & Hip Hop, being a side chick is no longer embarrassing…it’s almost like a badge of honor. It may not be 100% totally acceptable even by the side chick, but it’s no longer a place where women whom are side chicks just quietly parlay in the shadows. Side chicks are coming out & letting the world know that they are side chicks AND they are proud of it AND the wifey in most cases know they exist & feel a real sense of threat from them. There is no real shame in the game anymore. The objective for most side chicks is to get what they can get from the man in exchange for giving up their goodies. Most would like for the man to leave his wife, but a lot would be happy with just settling for playing second string because they can fulfill certain aspects of the wifey role and get treated (sometimes better) just as well as the wifey but they don’t have to carry the official title of being the wife. Thanks to our culture of music and television, this thought process is constantly being promoted & becoming more accepting.
OnyxTruth-2014 The Year of the Side ChicK



For your unbiased reading@cococandy.

troy20:

Yeye woman.

Okay, I'm a woman/female. Your opinion.

Why do you keep regurgitating it if you are so sure of that I'm not a Male/Man?.

Just free me, sho ti gbo? and by the way, no particular gender is fixed infront of my moniker...

And the west is to blame.

*Not the culture of a man being entitled to more than one woman.
*Not the mindset that being married is the highest achievement a woman can attain which therefore leads to her being adviced to turn a blind eye to the side chick which in turn promotes the phenomena.


I've agreed. the west is to blame.
Why are you trying to convince me some more?

5minsmadness:

The Rise of the Side Chick

Being a side chick used to be so taboo not too long ago. Most women who fell into the side chick category knew they were the side chick but most never truly accepted that role. Most side chick women back in the day held out hope that their man would leave his girl or his wife & start a true meaningful relationship with her. Even these women who were the side chicks, most of them probably never really came out and admitted to the public or to anyone for that matter that they were side chicks to a man. It was embarrassing & shameful to think that a woman would be so desperate that she had to share a man. Now the tables are turning.

Thanks to reality tv shows like Love & Hip Hop, being a side chick is no longer embarrassing…it’s almost like a badge of honor. It may not be 100% totally acceptable even by the side chick, but it’s no longer a place where women whom are side chicks just quietly parlay in the shadows. Side chicks are coming out & letting the world know that they are side chicks AND they are proud of it AND the wifey in most cases know they exist & feel a real sense of threat from them. There is no real shame in the game anymore. The objective for most side chicks is to get what they can get from the man in exchange for giving up their goodies. Most would like for the man to leave his wife, but a lot would be happy with just settling for playing second string because they can fulfill certain aspects of the wifey role and get treated (sometimes better) just as well as the wifey but they don’t have to carry the official title of being the wife. Thanks to our culture of music and television, this thought process is constantly being promoted & becoming more accepting.
OnyxTruth-2014 The Year of the Side ChicK



For your unbiased reading@cococandy.

cococandy:


What you term defense is actually not defense.
Defending them from what?
Else I'd be saying all western people are good godly people who don't sin and are at worst being influenced by others.

Telling you to take responsibility for your actions is not defending the west. I know I must agree with you for me to be not defending them.

If you speak English yes the words you use to describe those terms will be the same western words because you speak the same language as them. You really need to be told this too? #facepalm.

But is the concept new?
No.

We have Igbo words for babymama and they are not new words. They were in existence before the west came and 'spoiled' us.

you are dancing round the point.
the terms "Babymama" and "Sidechick" are not old english words, they just popped up very very recently. So saying I am using the terms cos they are english words...you are the one that deserves the Facepalm.

Anyway read the article I posted up there. Its quite interesting if i do say so myself. and it was written in the "West"! So you see, I dont castigate them for everything, they do right sometimes too

Yea it was written in the west because they face their problems head on instead of blaming Nigerians. We on the other hand will keep naming the west until our problems swallow us.
It is never our fault:

Again The terms are new, the concept is not new.

Stop wasting your energy.
I've agreed with you.

5minsmadness:


you are dancing round the point.
the terms "Babymama" and "Sidechick" are not old english words, they just popped up very very recently. So saying I am using the terms cos they are english words...you are the one that deserves the Facepalm.

Anyway read the article I posted up there. Its quite interesting if i do say so myself. and it was written in the "West"! So you see, I dont castigate them for everything, they do right sometimes too

crackhaus:

Lmao... that your friend is just insane (in a good I-cant-take-sh1t way)

Why did NL women want to have your head na?
For just accompanying her?

Lol. She took crazy to a new level, my chest was throbbing like I'm in the battlefield and that COPS theme song playing in my head ("bad boy bad boy watcha gonna do when we come for you" )

Abeggii you dey mind them, like I cared what anyone think about my person.

I'm a TRUE NORTH, I stay TRUE to my self, I owe myself that much.

FrancisTony:

Okay, I'm a woman/female. Your opinion.

Why do you keep regurgitating it if you are so sure of that I'm not a Male/Man?.

Just free me, sho ti gbo? and by the way, no particular gender is fixed infront of my moniker...

ok jus confess smal.i wan tel u one secret.