Lol your story is funny because it reminds me of my marriage. I have been married for 3 years and my husband spent the first 2 years doing exactly what your husband is doing. I fought him, I nagged him, I begged him, I reasoned with him, I got elderly people to talk to him but nothing happened. I even started hating his so called friends. Until I started to pray about my marriage and I prayed that God distance him from unfriendly friends and all of a sudden like magic in the man stopped going out. If he is not at work he is at home. I was very surprised in fact a friend of mine that I used to complain to was also shocked because every time he asked me about my husband I will say he is at home. Even when we are fighting he won't go anywhere except if one of his friends has an event. So madam Pls pray, trust me I know how it feels. It feels as if his friends are more important than you and he has misplaced priorities. These men can be very foolish that's why you need to pray for them. It is well

Your husband isn't yet ready to be a family guy. Maybe he was pressured into it as a result of social conditioning.

You either adopt to being a wife and husband at same time till maybe by dent of accident he changes or you threaten him to walk away to neverland with his kid where he won't be able to find you and you should mean this with every fibre in you.

Look for a moment when he's calm and shock him but not before letting him know how his actions have affected you negatively and you've hoped and prayed he would turn a new leaf and consider the child you both are bringing into this world while robbing your tummy. Then look up to him with that mischievous face and tell him what last tough decision he has boxed you into. Let him know there are limits. His response will give you an in-depth feel of the nature of man you married.

You're probably a boring woman.

obowunmi:
You're probably a boring woman.

if a donkey and a rat come together and have a baby this will be the end result.

First year should be the time to play, going out and doing things together, travels and enjoying each other. Both of you didn't play enough so he must go out to find that play without you. In my first year, I will make sure we stock on condoms to avoid the avoidable .

Sorry Op,you married a boy who isn't ready for marriage.I believe you dated him but chose to marry him even though you must have seen this.
I wouldn't want you to start thinking of divorce just yet.However,his situation will require a lot of patience from you.Some men like him change over time but some don't and only get worse.
Keep talking with him about this and also involve his parents.Let them know the kind of lifestyle he is living.
Pray about this also(I know the world is turning from God),but prayer works.Ask God to distance him from friends who are not helping him keep his home.

SisterCaro:
when he should be the one growing the hell up and being more supportive of the pregnant wife, she is the one meant to keep pushing everything despite the pressure of first preganancy and crazy hormones she already has to deal with? Why do some men get married when they are not ready for the commitment?

None of the two parties is obliged to manage the home over the other, if the man aint keeping his home someone has to.. (the more committed or wiser one), the priority is that the home shouldn't be broken..
There can be no joy in a home that doesn't exist in the first place...
Bring your man home whichever way u can, then u take it from there...God help you.

5minsmadness:

Evuls...@bolded
This post sounded very clingy to me.

Come, marvellous, i dont think you have been pregnant before or been around pregnant women. We love em but lord forgive me, they can be a downright pain in the a$$.

So when you get your wife pregnant, you leave her at home everyday cos of some behaviours she has no power over?
Na you give am belle so you should be ready for the consequences

However, we ain't sure what causes Op husband's behaviour. . May not be pregnancy...

MarvellousGod:
So when you get your wife pregnant, you leave her at home everyday cos of some behaviours she has no power over?
Na you give am belle so you should be ready for the consequences

However, we ain't sure what causes Op husband's behaviour. . May not be pregnancy...

I don't think it's pregnancy.The Op's husband is just not ready for responsibilities.

efemenaslectura:
The post from top to bottom is one of the reasons nigerian marriages are crumbling like a pack of cards.


It's always the woman's fault

if a man isn't a stay at home husband its her hormones
if she's cheating on her it's because he didn't make the home homely
if he prefers the company of the boys its because she's no longer sexy


no wonder the men are just stepping on you anyhow and insulting your sensibilities


anyway after he comes bay from the meeting with the boys serve him his dinner like a clueless bimbo and go and sulk and cry yourself to sleep in your bedroom shogbo.


How old are you that you want to be living in pain in your own house. The Lord is your strength and husband of the husband less or perhaps certificate husband or public husband


maybe when you start looking older than his mother your brain will start functioning


KanwuliaJara over to you









after he comes

Nothing more to h-add o!
You don nail am ka!

francizy:


True tho. Some women are nags but on a second thought, some men are irresponsible when it comes to marriage. If the woman in question is a nag, then I won't blame the husband but if she's not, then he has no right to treat her that way..

Don't you think you are overreacting? Are you married? I asked because sometimes it is easier for us to interfere in things wr might have no practical knowledge of.

thorpido:
Sorry Op,you married a boy who isn't ready for marriage.I believe you dated him but chose to marry him even though you must have seen this.
I wouldn't want you to start thinking of divorce just yet.However,his situation will require a lot of patience from you.Some men like him change over time but some don't and only get worse.
Keep talking with him about this and also involve his parents.Let them know the kind of lifestyle he is living.
Pray about this also(I know the world is turning from God),but prayer works.Ask God to distance him from friends who are not helping him keep his home.

Dude, there is always two sides to every story.

mrssho:
Lol your story is funny because it reminds me of my marriage. I have been married for 3 years and my husband spent the first 2 years doing exactly what your husband is doing. I fought him, I nagged him, I begged him, I reasoned with him, I got elderly people to talk to him but nothing happened. I even started hating his so called friends. Until I started to pray about my marriage and I prayed that God distance him from unfriendly friends and all of a sudden like magic in the man stopped going out. If he is not at work he is at home. I was very surprised in fact a friend of mine that I used to complain to was also shocked because every time he asked me about my husband I will say he is at home. Even when we are fighting he won't go anywhere except if one of his friends has an event. So madam Pls pray, trust me I know how it feels. It feels as if his friends are more important than you and he has misplaced priorities. These men can be very foolish that's why you need to pray for them. It is well

Woah! You just called your husband very foolish? Wow!

strenghtofawoman:
Hello all, permit me to share this..
I ve been married for less than a year nd expecting my first baby, but my hubby's attitude of recent is putting my life at risk, if this continues this way, I ll damn the consequences and walk out of this marriage.

He has been spending late nights on weekends, with the excuse that he wants to see his friends, I have talked to him bout this nd it almost ended in a fight, since I dnt want a repeat of that , I'm keeping my peace,but everyone has a limit,mine is about to be exhausted. The few weekends we should spend together ,or go out as a young couple.he's always visiting his friends, I'm not asking for much, but I guess I ve been too good a wife and av been taken for granted.

I'm walking away soon, nd will probably leave the country for him so dat he and his friends can continue to fool around. Freedom is not the right to act the way one likes, but the right to act responsibly,

Well madam, there is two sides to every story. I am sure if heard his own side of the story then it will be a little different.

chineloSA:


This sounds like she will be forcing herself into him. The wife is hormonally and emotionally fragile and you cant force things.

Remember even with no pregnancy, you are still different individuals. You should both be allowed to be individuals while adjusting to marriage.

Men sometimes need time alone with his friends and women as well. That is not a bad thing. Sometimes when you go to where men are, you find that they are talking about nonsense and some which doesn't make sense. Allow a man to spend his time talking about nonsense. Some just having some few beers together etc. Give each other space and a breather to miss each other. If you are always on his face and forcing him to spend time with you, it will not work at all. Forcing to spend time together just because you have a ring, does not sound like the best way to resolve this. Instead it will repel him and push them further apart.

He must do things out of love not obligation.

G bam! You will be amazed how many women don't understand that men also need their own personal space?

edwife:
The way the word divorce is being used these days is scary.....

As in?

davidif:


Dude, there is always two sides to every story.

That's true.My comment was based on the Op's words.

chineloSA:
your hormones are not doing any good to you.

Firstly examine what makes your husband prefer spending time with friends than his wife. You may be a problem because of pregnancy. Some woman become bullies when they are pregnant, others cry babies, others lazy, some short tempered etc. Therefore some man don't know how to deal with the change of hormones and prefer to seek other things to take them off what is undesirable.

You maybe doing things that your hubby doesn't enjoy right now as you are pregnant.
He may not even be cheating

Calm down. Since you have spoken to him, see if there will be changes while examining yourself.
But if I were you when he goes out, I would ask him to drop me off where I will also enjoy ( e.g. movie, friends place, visit family etc.) and pick me up when he is done.

With time he may be interested in finding out what really keeps you, and what you do in his absence and join you.

But divorcing while you are pregnant is a bad idea which you will later regret.

Just to tease you: I feel for your husband, you sound like a pregnant bully and cry baby at the same time.

Correct!
You are on point ma.
Few days ago i told hubs to stay with d baby, i wanted to go out that i needed to be free. And no! He shdnt bother to drop me off. I jokingly said this in the morn.

Late afternoon, i told him i was going to the market. Wore some nice dress and wore some very nice make up. Truthfully, i wasnt going to see anyone. I jus wanted to look good and u know get some fresh air.

But he didnt take it lightly. Pretended not to be bothered at first and den later on, He sed to take d baby along, we'll all go to d market together. He ll stay with d baby in d car. Na wa o!
Somebody cannot be married and want to recieve fresh air again.