Hello ppl. I met him when I was 18yrs in my second year in the university. He was 21 and had just graduated. That was back in 2008. We were friends till 2010 that was when we become official. So I have known him has a person for almost 7years. But we have been lovers for 5years. We have had our good n bad times n all what not.. He is now 28 and I would be 25 in October. The thing here is the financial part. He has made me understand that the only reason we are not married is the fact that he doesn't have the money. He works, I m yet to find a job. If, I had a job I know living as a couple would be easy, cuz it would be a collective effort. He is saying I should gv him tops two years. But if he gets some money their family is expecting, he would use his share for our wedding. D money hasn't come for over a year now. I don't know what to do. My family is telling me to see how I can breed a relationship on the low just incase he is not forthcoming by next year. I dint know how to date two ppl. I really can't wait two years. He is young at 28 but I can't give excuses at my detriment. I m on d big side and always looked older than my age. Plus there is the thing with never knowing the heart of a person. He can wake up on day and be less interested and vice versa. My mom says I should sit down with him, talk thing's through and gv ourselves milestones.. I do love him n he loves me too. 5yrs is a long time, I even feel the love wearing thin. Please men n women, honest advice. Some guys may be in my bf's shoes, maybe u can speak from that perspective. Thanks.

Not sure how to advise you but just know I sympathise with you and I really hope you find a solution to your problem

Money isn't everything. A wedding doesn't always have to b expensive. But the truth is ull need money to maintain a family, kids food, pampers, ante natal, school fees etc

My own advise. [size=18pt]JUST DO IT!!![/size]
Get married january, next year.low budget, bride price, introduction. Daz all.
You love the bobo, bobo loves you and cant just go to the registry like all this in hollywood films? Because you need money, you need to do the normal style, all of us are stipid in this country, sacrificing love for tradition,
Do it on sunday in your church, free crowd! How long will it take the pastor to join you sharp shap. You can do the paparazi 5 years inti the wedding. Infact, do it every 4 years like election

[size=15pt]
"The day i see sister faith and God con catch her she never marry, she go must to marry me tipatipa !!!"[/size]

Just do d ryt tin

Hmmmmm...me I'm feeling sleepy and the elders are at the meeting, maybe by morning but what ever the case good advice will roll in, just before I leave work on your insecurity and self esteem, know your onions! 25 is too young to act desperate, ciao.

Brb

Aitee1:
Hmmmmm...me I'm feeling sleepy and the elders are at the meeting, maybe by morning but what ever the case good advice will roll in, just before I leave work on your insecurity and self esteem, know your onions! 25 is too young to act desperate, ciao.

lolzzz u again!Remember no gate crashing 2mrw

I've seen cases where the girl ends up with someone else just because the guy wasn't ready for marriage yet. It's not a bad thing. As long as you two don't create enemity between yourselves while at it.
He's a guy, he's got more time. It's not same for you..
An understanding guy will even let go.

Time they say, waits for no man... I think that proverb applies more to women cos they reach menopause at an earlier age. My advise: u guys should get married as soon as possible. When u're married, money will come, its a natural phenomenon

kossyablaze:
lolzzz u again!Remember no gate crashing 2mrw

But seriously go beg that babe to share the test venue nah

Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce her to would be my family

Aitee1:
Hmmmmm...me I'm feeling sleepy and the elders are at the meeting, maybe by morning but what ever the case good advice will roll in, just before I leave work on your insecurity and self esteem, know your onions! 25 is too young to act desperate, ciao.

I lyk your advice,better to be patient than end up marrying another man u might not love

Give him time but I wouldn't advise two years,make it one year.
I believe you've done NYSC.Work towards starting something to bring an income while looking out for a better job.I believeif you keep at it,you can make something out.Both of you can work out something in the next one year.

You have to make up your mind that if you're getting married,it has to be low key.You have to convince family it has to be that way and you could delay childbearing for a while.

icekream:
Time they say, waits for no man... I think that proverb applies more to women cos they reach menopause at an earlier age. My advise: u guys should get married as soon as possible. When u're married, money will come, its a natural phenomenon

lol so because u are married, money will start coming abi? Op, abeg ehnn...., don't make plans based on this assumption.

ladyF:

lol so because u are married, money will start coming abi? Op, abeg ehnn...., don't make plans based on this assumption.

Its actually the truth. Take a random survey of the couples you know

Well my dear, i quite understand ur plight, is a very tough decision to make here. But i will first of all suggest that u go on ur knees in prayers soliciting for bf and also urself.

Then to face fact, try to make friends wit d opposite sex, i dnt mean sleep with them, u neva can tell who might be serious to walk u down the altar and again , dnt let ur age depress u, u re younger than u think. Gracias

ima30:
Hello ppl. I met him when I was 18yrs in my second year in the university. He was 21 and had just graduated. That was back in 2008. We were friends till 2010 that was when we become official. So I have known him has a person for almost 7years. But we have been lovers for 5years. We have had our good n bad times n all what not.. He is now 28 and I would be 25 in October. The thing here is the financial part. He has made me understand that the only reason we are not married is the fact that he doesn't have the money. He works, I m yet to find a job. If, I had a job I know living as a couple would be easy, cuz it would be a collective effort. He is saying I should gv him tops two years. But if he gets some money their family is expecting, he would use his share for our wedding. D money hasn't come for over a year now. I don't know what to do. My family is telling me to see how I can breed a relationship on the low just incase he is not forthcoming by next year. I dint know how to date two ppl. I really can't wait two years. He is young at 28 but I can't give excuses at my detriment. I m on d big side and always looked older than my age. Plus there is the thing with never knowing the heart of a person. He can wake up on day and be less interested and vice versa. My mom says I should sit down with him, talk thing's through and gv ourselves milestones.. I do love him n he loves me too. 5yrs is a long time, I even feel the love wearing thin. Please men n women, honest advice. Some guys may be in my bf's shoes, maybe u can speak from that perspective. Thanks.

sadly, you are already failing... for so many reasons:

- you dont BELIEVE in your man and/or TRUST him
see how you have doubts about this man you supposedly want to marry

- you are ready to cheat
how can you even contemplate cheating on him and in the same sentence say you "love the guy"?!

- you are desperate
here you are taking of your age bla bla bla as if this was relevant

- you dont think straight
you aint got a job, you guys have no money, yet want to spend the little he will get, to do some fancy wedding.... and then get right back to square one ( aka BROKE) after the wedding. whats the point here?!

- you are confused
sit down, and ask yourself "what do you really want?" it seems you have no idea and just want to marry... anybody!

teddybear007:
Well my dear, i quite understand ur plight, is a very tough decision to make here. But i will first of all suggest that u go on ur knees in prayers soliciting for bf and also urself.

Then to face fact, try to make friends wit d opposite sex, i dnt mean sleep with them, u neva can tell who might be serious to walk u down the altar and again , dnt let ur age depress u, u re younger than u think. Gracias

Yeah

MRBrownJ:


sadly, you are already failing... for so many reasons:

- you dont BELIEVE in your man and/or TRUST him
see how you have doubts about this man you supposedly want to marry

- you are ready to cheat
how can you even contemplate cheating on him and in the same sentence say you "love the guy"?!

- you are desperate
here you are taking of your age bla bla bla as if this was relevant

- you dont think straight
you aint got a job, you guys have no money, yet want to spend the little he will get, to do some fancy wedding.... and then get right back to square one ( aka BROKE) after the wedding. whats the point here?!

- you are confused
sit down, and ask yourself "what do you really want?" it seems you have no idea and just want to marry... anybody!

Harsh but true,

ima30:
Hello ppl. I met him when I was 18yrs in my second year in the university. He was 21 and had just graduated. That was back in 2008. We were friends till 2010 that was when we become official. So I have known him has a person for almost 7years. But we have been lovers for 5years. We have had our good n bad times n all what not.. He is now 28 and I would be 25 in October. The thing here is the financial part. He has made me understand that the only reason we are not married is the fact that he doesn't have the money. He works, I m yet to find a job. If, I had a job I know living as a couple would be easy, cuz it would be a collective effort. He is saying I should gv him tops two years. But if he gets some money their family is expecting, he would use his share for our wedding. D money hasn't come for over a year now. I don't know what to do. My family is telling me to see how I can breed a relationship on the low just incase he is not forthcoming by next year. I dint know how to date two ppl. I really can't wait two years. He is young at 28 but I can't give excuses at my detriment. I m on d big side and always looked older than my age. Plus there is the thing with never knowing the heart of a person. He can wake up on day and be less interested and vice versa. My mom says I should sit down with him, talk thing's through and gv ourselves milestones.. I do love him n he loves me too. 5yrs is a long time, I even feel the love wearing thin. Please men n women, honest advice. Some guys may be in my bf's shoes, maybe u can speak from that perspective. Thanks.

Better it didn't work out in relationship than in marriage that's all I got for u.

MRBrownJ:


sadly, you are already failing... for so many reasons:

- you dont BELIEVE in your man and/or TRUST him
see how you have doubts about this man you supposedly want to marry

- you are ready to cheat
how can you even contemplate cheating on him and in the same sentence say you "love the guy"?!

- you are desperate
here you are taking of your age bla bla bla as if this was relevant

- you dont think straight
you aint got a job, you guys have no money, yet want to spend the little he will get, to do some fancy wedding.... and then get right back to square one ( aka BROKE) after the wedding. whats the point here?!

- you are confused
sit down, and ask yourself "what do you really want?" it seems you have no idea and just want to marry... anybody!

Well, I really just want people's advice, I don't want to reply everyone. I have to reply yours humbly. Yes, I may not have so much trust in him right now for so many reasons in our rship I didn't put in my post. I do trust and believe in him enough to marry him sure. Even that at times is not enough, I need a little more sense, I m working with time here. Two, I do not want to cheat on him, I mentioned that I don't want to be in two rships. The idea came up from ppl, I spoke to. Three, I think very straight. You cant tell how much money he is expecting to know if it is enough for a fancy wedding in the first place, we all r in the labour market, I mentioned that I would run a collective marriage. Thats to show, I m not a careless woman that wants to spend all her man's money. Anyone who uses their entire finances for a fancy wedding is stupid. Lastly, yes, I m a bit confused not totally, I want him but sometimes we need more advice and understanding, that's is why I m here to find a bit of clarity. Taking a bit of everything from the advice I get to guide me, even yours. Thanks.

ima30:
Hello ppl. I met him when I was 18yrs in my second year in the university. He was 21 and had just graduated. That was back in 2008. We were friends till 2010 that was when we become official. So I have known him has a person for almost 7years. But we have been lovers for 5years. We have had our good n bad times n all what not.. He is now 28 and I would be 25 in October. The thing here is the financial part. He has made me understand that the only reason we are not married is the fact that he doesn't have the money. He works, I m yet to find a job. If, I had a job I know living as a couple would be easy, cuz it would be a collective effort. He is saying I should gv him tops two years. But if he gets some money their family is expecting, he would use his share for our wedding. D money hasn't come for over a year now. I don't know what to do. My family is telling me to see how I can breed a relationship on the low just incase he is not forthcoming by next year. I dint know how to date two ppl. I really can't wait two years. He is young at 28 but I can't give excuses at my detriment. I m on d big side and always looked older than my age. Plus there is the thing with never knowing the heart of a person. He can wake up on day and be less interested and vice versa. My mom says I should sit down with him, talk thing's through and gv ourselves milestones.. I do love him n he loves me too. 5yrs is a long time, I even feel the love wearing thin. Please men n women, honest advice. Some guys may be in my bf's shoes, maybe u can speak from that perspective. Thanks.

THIS GENERATION IS INDEED OUT OF SENSE....
GO AND READ THE STORY OF RUTH AND ESTHER, JUST MAYBE JUST MAYBE YOU MEANT HAVE SOME SENSE.

YOU HAVE ALREADY GIVEN HIM THE BENEFIT OF MARRIAGE, WHY WILL HE SEE YOU THE WAY YOU ARE

Op get a job first work like a year to gather experience in your workplace and be able to have some savings. By doing this it will help you to wait for him and also upgrade your status, at age 25 is young to be desperate already.

ima30:


Well, I really just want people's advice, I don't want to reply everyone. I have to reply yours humbly. Yes, I may not have so much trust in him right now for so many reasons in our rship I didn't put in my post. I do trust and believe in him enough to marry him sure. Even that at times is not enough, I need a little more sense, I m working with time here. Two, I do not want to cheat on him, I mentioned that I don't want to be in two rships. The idea came up from ppl, I spoke to. Three, I think very straight. You cant tell how much money he is expecting to know if it is enough for a fancy wedding in the first place, we all r in the labour market, I mentioned that I would run a collective marriage. Thats to show, I m not a careless woman that wants to spend all her man's money. Anyone who uses their entire finances for a fancy wedding is stupid. Lastly, yes, I m a bit confused not totally, I want him but sometimes we need more advice and understanding, that's is why I m here to find a bit of clarity. Taking a bit of everything from the advice I get to guide me, even yours. Thanks.

Hmmm.
Ur 25 n say ur out of time.
My Ex Gf was 25 n claimed to be out of time,now she is 29 n still not married. Jus say MONEY is d factor.

Frankly I wud advise u to leave because, 1.when u start having multiple doubts den ur no longer sure.
2.Leaving ur bf will also help him focus more on his life n be a better person. Don't holler him back when he's made.
3.U guys aint got kids yet.
4. Not all relationships were meant to work.
5.U may stay with him n money may not be enuf.
HERE U ARE,LOGICAL REASONS TO LEAVE

yomi007k:

Hmmm.
Ur 25 n say ur out of time.
My Ex Gf was 25 n claimed to be out of time,now she is 29 n still not married. Jus say MONEY is d factor.

Frankly I wud advise u to leave because, 1.when u start having multiple doubts den ur no longer sure.
2.Leaving ur bf will also help him focus more on his life n be a better person. Don't holler him back when he's made.
3.U guys aint got kids yet.
4. Not all relationships were meant to work.
5.U may stay with him n money may not be enuf.
HERE U ARE,LOGICAL REASONS TO LEAVE

Poster, you heard him right!

Mmm... This is hard. I understand, what if you wait for two years, and then for one reason or another you end up breaking up?
If you are very religious, you could ask a pastor to have a very small ceremony, to take the vows before God. Without wedding gown, without party... Just letting know God that you're hooked for life. That's my idea...

ima30:
Well, I really just want people's advice, I don't want to reply everyone. I have to reply yours humbly. Yes, I may not have so much trust in him right now for so many reasons in our rship I didn't put in my post. I do trust and believe in him enough to marry him sure. Even that at times is not enough, I need a little more sense, I m working with time here. Two, I do not want to cheat on him, I mentioned that I don't want to be in two rships. The idea came up from ppl, I spoke to. Three, I think very straight. You cant tell how much money he is expecting to know if it is enough for a fancy wedding in the first place, we all r in the labour market, I mentioned that I would run a collective marriage. Thats to show, I m not a careless woman that wants to spend all her man's money. Anyone who uses their entire finances for a fancy wedding is stupid. Lastly, yes, I m a bit confused not totally, I want him but sometimes we need more advice and understanding, that's is why I m here to find a bit of clarity. Taking a bit of everything from the advice I get to guide me, even yours. Thanks.

- you dont trust people "enough" to marry them, you either trust them fully (to be your partner for life) or you dont. you are trying to find "excuses" to marry this guy, while frankly, you shouldnt marry him yet. marriage is supposed to be for life and you should only do it when you are 110% sure that you want to spend the rest of your life with this guy

- you are NOT working with time, instead what you are doing is stressing yourself with time and body clock (and probably stressing him too in the same process) thinking of stuff that is irrelevant in LOVE... and this will instead have you take the wrong decisions in life. do what is right for BOTH of you, not what is right for the selfish thought you women have when you get closer to 28/30yrs old.

- if the thought of cheating has not come into your mind then you shouldnt have brought it up here. this is very disrespectful to the man in your life, but it also shows us how LITTLE your family/friends think of him.

- money is your problem today, and therefore, you guys shouldnt even spend a dime on a wedding, and instead save everything you got for the possible tough future ahead because, come on, if you already talking about body clock then we can all assume that you will make sure he gets you pregnant in no time.

- so you say that your man is strange sometimes, well here could be the clue:
A) the man wants to marry you but has no money;
B) he knows that he will have to do a free civil wedding (at best) because you are stressing him about your body clock, and if he doesnt marry you now, you will be gone;
C) but he also knows that (because of that same "body clock) the minute you guys are married, there will be a baby on the way;
D) but any intelligent person knows that if you are stressed enough because you dont have the finances to care for two people, then imagine the EXTRA stress when there will be a baby in the picture (and also your friends/family talking even more shiit about him)
E) looking at it from this angle, its a lose-lose situation!

i actually feel bad for this guy...

If you have been in that relationship for 5years with your HEAD, you will be able to advise yourself better than anyone else.

@ OP you are just 25years of age and all what's on your mind now is how to get married ..
you should try to find something doing probably starting a mini business (selling of used cloths , shoes ,etc ) ..
You shouldn't be bother about your age for now .. There are more important to be discover before getting married ..
Try to discover yourself , your purpose on earth ..
Well I believe that marriage isn't the most important thing on earth .. I have seen a 24hours wedding.
Don't let anyone intimidate you ... Get yourself occupied ..
I jez hope you will do the right thing.