Many women misread the signs when entering into a relationship with a jealous man, interpreting his possessive behaviour as caring, even romantic. Others may choose to ignore the jealous outbursts, or try to anticipate or avoid the situations which spark them off. This, says Gladeana, is a major mistake. 'You must never back out of dealing with his jealousy in the hope it will go away - it won't,' she says. 'But by learning the right way to tackle it, he'll soon come to know that as soon as he starts suffering pangs, you'll always notice and won't let him get away with it.' ______________________________________ HOW TO HANDLE A JEALOUS GUY
1.Recognise it as a problem - both of you.

2. Make a commitment. Him: that he genuinely wants to change his behaviour and will work at it with your help. You: that you won't change your behaviour to accommodate his. Never stop doing things to 'keep your partner happy.' He'll just find other things to get jealous about.

3. Look for the reasons for the jealousy. It always comes down to an insecurity about one thing or another...but what? Perhaps his self-esteem needs building up - he may not feel, at heart, that he is loveable and his jealousy may be a way of testing this. You need to talk together about how the jealousy manifests itself and discuss how you'll deal with it when it next happens.

4. Work out a 'jealousy code'. This is a sign, either a word or a gesture, agreed on and known only to you two, that either of you can use when jealousy is becoming a problem. It acts like a sort of 'time out' in difficult situations and signals for you to help each other.

5. Don't pamper him. 'Changing your behaviour to try and avoid jealousy is an example of pampering and never cures the problem. What does is encouraging him that he's doing well in trying to deal with it and that you recognise how difficult it is for him,' says Gladeana. Never, ever say that the jealousy is acceptable. Support him, but never collude with him.

6. Get help. Jealousy is one of the most frequent problems brought to relationships counsellors. If you don't know where to start, a trained counsellor can help you isolate the causes of the jealousy and devise a strategy to work through it.

Source: the internet

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