i pray earnestly for both and i believe i will be content with it.
ive given myself a limit if say i dont get a particular sex after that, i will adopt (personally if it were up to me). i got nothing against adoption but i nor trust that man e nor go gree
so i guess we'd stay that way. happily for me cos its God that gives children and he knows best

I beg for three kids and dont really mind the sex much.

Only reason some insist on at least one male is that feeling of incompleteness, or that feeling that you have underachieved.

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///

Hmmm easier said than done.

I had wanted to start a topic, i ran a search and stumbled on this thread, theres no need duplicating things.

I am pregnant for my third child and just found out its a girl after two girls. I feel depressed and miserable, infact i couldnt sleep last night. We tried to do all the maths, the ovulation tingi, the chinese calender and it didnt work.
I believe a woman can achieve whatever she wants to achieve, i am a testimony to that, but, i still feel we are second class citizens. My husband still has to talk and i listen, he has more rights, he leads i follow, so no matter where a woman reaches, man na man.
I could be called a feminist once upon a time, but i have learnt in my marriage that for peace to reign in any institution there has to be hirecacy. I now have peace in my family becos of that. So i cant be convinced that a woman and a man are the same thing. Now i am about to bring another one into the world.
You might wonder why i am writing, well i need some form of comfort, i am sad, angry, depressed, and i feel so dissapointed. I dont even think my husband can have anymore patience with me. I expect a grouchy behaviour from him. I have hidden the scan status for now, as there is no need for both of us to be miserable let me bear this cross alone for a while. I am due in about 3 months.
No insults please, i really dont need that right now.
Thanks

..

There are people still believing God for children- lets not look a gift horse in the mouth.

True, it might be depressing to have only girls if you want a boy, but the most important thing is how the kids turn out, not just their gender per se.

Some people tend to have only boys while others have mainly girls. No biggie imo.

But for most of those who want a boy and are having girls, i've noticed sometimes, the boy could be either #3, 7 or 4 by birth order.

ie if you keep trying, the boy could come after 2, 3 or 5 girls.

I've heard of women who had up to nine girls while looking for a boy though.

In any case, check your mother's side for a general idea of the overall gender ratio of your kids might be. Not set in stone but it might apply for males (check your maternal side) and females (check your paternal side).

Am i making sense cos i'm not sure.

@the poster above me, what words could be better? @poster, i feel you. but  like i said, take the  encouraging words of the poster above me to heart, for no truer  words can be said. you kw, i was discussing this exact thing with my yf shortly bf we slept off yesterday. You see uneducated pple giving births without tots to wot sex will result from the relationship and give birth to mixed sex(boys/girls) . yet some get so worried abt the sex(xpercially boys) and it turns out to be a girl. you see, wot we fear most in life are the exact things that happen.life comes form God, pray, some dont  even have any, wot shld these do? in my case, wen my yf took in, we where not concern abt wot the sex of the baby will turn out to be , although my yf hoped for a girl.  For me, i jst wanted my first child.she did the first scan and it revealed she has a baby girl. ok, cool, no hard feelins! we started shopping for girl stuff and all. second scan reveavled its a baby boy! surprise, suprise. FAST forward today, we both love him so dearly.

we are hopin the second will be a girl so he wld have a little sis to play with, but ha! we aint God. woteva He gives us, we'l be pleased wit it.

ps: pikin na pikin oooo.

I mean 6 girls, not 5.

From what i observed, most times the boy is #3. Sometimes the boy is #2. In nigeria, the wife tends to start feeling a bit desperate after 2 girls. If a boy comes along then, she breathes a sigh of relief.

If #3 is yet another girl, panic mode may set in.
Should #4 be female, desperation may start rearing it's head.

When #5 and #6 turn out to be girls as well, all gloves are off. The relatives and people start taking, proferring "solutions" such as why not marry another woman who will give you a son, this your wife who cant whatever, etc.

It takes a strong man (most times a sound christian though could be anybody with a strong character) to resist all the naysayers.

But left to me sha,omo lomo nje. Childbirth is no walk in the park so only an ignorant person would act as if its not the same process of pain regardless of the child's gender.

But in any case, with prayer God can grant you your heart's desire if its a son you want, and according to His will.

.

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@ tpia, many thx. like seriously, that is the truth abt life. woteva you you in life, jst tell the man above, and if its pleasures Him to give to you, fine,. But if not, there ain't nada you can do abt it. i come from a famly wer boy/ girls are well mixed . for instance, my dad has first child as a girl, followed by two boys , and then two girls and ended wit a boy. i.e three boys, three girls. no cheating(lols). my dads junior brother also gave birth to four boys and four girls , no sweat and in the same fashion .(three boys nd three girls in btw them).

fastward, my elder brother has the first child as a boy, second a girl, third a boy, forth a girl.na so we jst dey remix am(we thank God sha). so in my case we jst have a good blend of the sexes.but na baba God na him do am for us.

my point, sometimes its in the famly. but in all, we shld be grateful to God for givin us any sex of a child.

ps: i repeat, woteva you are afraid of, seem to always happen. so fill your mind with positive things and positive things will happen in your life.

Thanks alot every one.
@hispinkolo, i actually wept when i read your quote, i think i would print it out, so i can read it over and over again, esp the part of not letting the kids know about it, very important, thank you. Most helpful.

pady and tipia, thanks a bunch, i do understand your analysis. in my family we are 2 girls and 3 boys, while my husbands family there are 3 girls and 2 boys. Fair mixture. I guess ultimately its the God factor. He gives, He knows why he gives when He gives and decides to whom He gives what. I had prayed so hard from conception till now,even made promises to God, but He alone knows best. Maybe my own will turn out ike yours pady, so lemmie keep prayin.

I would try to research into the gender selection in the US and what exactly they have to offer(if u have any website or sometin that would be helpful), but in the midst of all these, this pregnancy thing is not easy, the tot i would go through this again makes it so depressing, it just brings ur life to a halt in a very uncomfortable way, i feel like crap, everytime. But its also good to remember that there are some seeking for and that dont have, so i should be grateful for the crappy feeling . This life sef!!!!!

On my huby, well may the Lord give him strenght, thats all i can ask now, esp as the marriage is inter-tribal. me sef may the Lord give me strenght. I hope there would be no battle ahead . I no fit!

Thanks guys once again, at least i dont feel as suicidal as i did in the morning. Cheers!

Just google gender selection centres in the US and you will see options.I read about it last year in the papers.It is controversial cos people are divided about whether a couple should go that far to choose a gender.Next thing it will be color of eyes,color of hair and that sort of thing.
Take it easy ok??You have just 3 months to go before you bring your beautiful bundle into the world,
As other posters said,some have not been able to have kids,i am currently TTC but not for too long.I would be grateful for any sex at all,lol.

E-huggsssss

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May God have mercy on human beings

sadmama:

I had wanted to start a topic, i ran a search and stumbled on this thread, theres no need duplicating things.

I am pregnant for my third child and just found out its a girl after two girls. I feel depressed and miserable, infact i couldnt sleep last night. We tried to do all the maths, the ovulation tingi, the chinese calender and it didnt work.
I believe a woman can achieve whatever she wants to achieve, i am a testimony to that, but, i still feel we are second class citizens. My husband still has to talk and i listen, he has more rights, he leads i follow, so no matter where a woman reaches, man na man.
I could be called a feminist once upon a time, but i have learnt in my marriage that for peace to reign in any institution there has to be hirecacy. I now have peace in my family becos of that. So i cant be convinced that a woman and a man are the same thing. [b]Now i am about to bring another one into the world. [/b]You might wonder why i am writing, well i need some form of comfort, i am sad, angry, depressed, and i feel so dissapointed. I dont even think my husband can have anymore patience with me. I expect a grouchy behaviour from him. I have hidden the scan status for now, as there is no need for both of us to be miserable let me bear this cross alone for a while. I am due in about 3 months.
No insults please, i really dont need that right now.
Thanks

Some rational thoughts would be in order, just go to the nearest hospital and remind yourself of what sick children and women hoping and praying for whatever sex are going through, hopefully you will come back to your senses

.

God where have you been keeping this angel Hispinkolo only to make her appear at a thread she is most needed. Bless you Hispinkolo, I think your response is enough to comfort Sadmama and her husband if he gets to read it too.
May the anointing of God through which you brought hope and comfort to this other woman bring you your own fruit of the womb, Amen, Alleluiah! Somebody shout! (Don't mind my holy excitement )

Miss Sadmama if you ask your own father whose generation (I mean the generation of our parents) can't do without their male child he will tell you that it is even his female children that care more for him after all so all that importance placed on having a male child that will take care of you does not hold water. Female or male, they are all blessings. This is your blood, your child, don't let anybody or the desire to please others make you despise it. Rub your tummy and feel your child with love please, don't feel saddened anymore okay.

Pray to God for healthy and god fearing children. The sex of a child can never give you as much pain as a sick child or a child who brings home problems.
We sometimes go through life placing the wrong priorities.
Its a boy then what?
Besides this is not your last chance you can still go on to have more.
My father was disappointed that i was born a girl but over the years he said he was so happy because  gave him more attention and  love that a boy could have.
If you are already crying and rejecting a child before it`s birth, when it is totally innocent what do you expect that child to do when the tables are turned. I mean when you are old and grey and the child has seen your weaknesses and fault.
you need to love your child unconditionally.
My dear i am not trying to blame you it is understandable but be grateful to God for the blessing he has given you. Children are a gift from God.

I am a guy and I won't lie about my secret but strong desire for at least one male child. I will try for at most 4 children and if they are all girls, I might consider adopting. Truth is, women go to their husbands houses and promptly forget they ever had a father. I want a son to bear my name and go capture another man's daughter to come join our clan! It's pretty primitive thinking but I can't help thinking it!

moremi2008:

I am a guy and I won't lie about my secret but strong desire for at least one male child. I will try for at most 4 children and if they are all girls, I might consider adopting. Truth is, women go to their husbands houses and promptly forget they ever had a father. I want a son to bear my name and go capture another man's daughter to come join our clan! It's pretty primitive thinking but I can't help thinking it!

See self-confessed cave men

naijababe:

See self-confessed cave men

No Nigerian man can honestly say he doesn't want at least one male child. We are culturally conditioned to desire heirs, often to non-existent kingdoms.

I am not married and I know humans have an incredible capacity to make peace with a disagreeable reality. Maybe I won't have these fears any longer when faced with tiny bundles of pink and smiles.

.

Heirs to non existent kingdoms
Moremi you made my day. I want to se this one to yap my husband today.

When I look at African/Naija kids of nowadays and how they want to emulate the Western culture at all cost, it won't be long before Africans will start abandoning their aging or old parents anyways. As a matter of fact, some have already started. They are somewhere in the world in search of perceived "greener" pastures while their parents are in Nigeria languishing away. Others have white spouses or foreign spouses who do not agree with the idea of in-laws coming to live with them or asking for money. Just check out some of the threads on Nairaland created by foreign spouses married to Nigerians and notice how they lament about their Naija in-laws.

Those who are raising their kids abroad will have children with non-African mindsets so don't be alarmed when these western-bred kids decide to toss you in a nursing home since that is an acceptable practice in the western society and culture they were brought up in. Many of these Western-raised kids will not even want to live in Nigeria or Africa for that matter once they are adults due to several reasons including stark cultural differences so all this talk about carrying on the family name will eventually become void. Some kids might grow up to have two daughters like Obama and will not feel compelled to keep breeding all in the name of trying for a son to preserve the family name. They might not even marry a Nigerian/African to begin with. And then what are you gonna do as a typical traditional Naija parent? absolutely nothing. If you make too much noise, your children might choose to distance themselves from you. I see it happening already in quite a few families. Whether God gives you a boy or a girl, just be thankful as long as the child is healthy. There are people out there who have none!

helen123: deep down our nigerian men no matter their generation still prefer boys to girls

Not always true. there are some Nigerian men who could care less about the gender of their babies.