I believe I'm not the only one that finds it challenging to start a thing. Not just anything but those kind of projects that seem bigger than you or require that you find yourself out of your comfort zone. Let me share one of my experiences with you. Life after service gave i and my colleagues great concern. Back then, during Nccf fellowship our most dominant point of prayers was for divine settlement. While our coordinator would ask us to pray that God should give us a miracle job after service. While others are praying, i would be asking my self how this would happen? I don't have any uncle in any multinational corporation that I can flash and hope he cares enough to call me back talkless of giving me a job. Well, I still close my eyes and pray; that's if I can concentrate with the kind of prayer styles and positioning you see in our fellowship. In the midst of this, some busy body people will still find space to throw a few intimidating comments that will make you feel like despair is the world's dominant emotion. Emeka, a dark, ebullient and plump corper that you will hardly find during CDS meetings, met me one of those days that I was thinking about my future prospects said to me "guy, how far, you fit advise me where I go do my master's programme?" . I couldn't reply because I had not even started reaping the dividends of the B.sc I had just acquired. For me, that moment drove home the meaning of the expression "all fingers are not equal". I tried to comprehend why circumstances was seemingly positive for some while others especially me had it rough; without options. Right before my very eyes some were travelling overseas to further their education, a few others sneaking away for job interviews. Honestly, I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel and I knew a lot of my colleagues were facing similar situations. I'm sure lots of you can relate with that. Don't even mention entrepreneurship and all the other trainings that we were compelled to attend , in the name of adding value to our lives because you also have to wonder where you would get the money to start up.

How about the games my mind played on me when I concluded youth service? I became a tourist visiting cities and towns, taking keen interests in sign boards to make sure I have not missed an address or information that will change my life. I even postponed the inevitable, going home with the weight of expectations that abound became a nightmare. I forgot to add that all the uncles that I managed to extract job promises from eventually blanked after bombarding them to know the fate of my CV that they were magnanimous enough to ask me to send to their mails. I became extremely polite and mannered in my phone manners. I think I did it all. At one of church service, I got a message after a preaching on faith. The message was simple. START. i had a lot of drama going on in my head. Musings and wondering got me no where except maybe to the point where I had to understand that being denied or turned down does not mean that I was not good enough. I had to return home to embrace the weight of expectations that my parents and siblings had of me, I didn't stop there I left the town I knew people and places to where I had zero connections. I stopped living in my head basically and start tracking reality. You can believe all you want, be as positive as the plus sign in a mathematical equation, truth is, you can only start by starting. Fear and discouragement are all part of the equation you need to overcome so that you can take the step or leap as the case may be because when you start you will need to deal with those two. I had to start from the scratch. That's a story for another day. Stay with me.

Alabukun!

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