EnlightenedSoul:

Okie doke.

crackhaus:

Freecocoa oo, no misinterpretations please - I put all the time in bold for a reason

Now ask me that question again after adding 'all the time' and see how you sound.


Okay so now that the couple seem to be in a quagmire, what do you propose?

That the wife vehemently refuses to cook?
That the man continues doing all the cooking all the time?
That a maid comes in to do the cooking?
That they head down the divorce route?

freecocoa:
Well, we do have to reach a reasonable conclusion, it will be wasted effort, if we keep going back and forth just for the sake of it.

I am not saying I want to stop, when you still have something to say though.

babygirlfl:


Now this is what some women on this section do that is really annoying. Women who believe in a rigid role for men and women thinking every woman has to believe the same thing and disagreeing with them means there is something wrong with her or she was not well brought up. I don't have a problem in whatever you believe or if you want to be a superwoman, the problem is when they want to force that on every woman. Some of us have parents who have been happily (or contently :sagamite 2015) married for decades and are married ourselves without sticking to rigid societal roles. If you believe in that, fine but don't think every home will be run like that or that you are better than the other woman who does not believe in that. To these women, I am telling you all that you don't have to bring down other women to look good. Wise men will see through your pretense.

Timbuktou:


So, it continues, though.

freecocoa:
I'm not misinterpreting na, I got the[b] all the time[/b]. Why is it a bad reflection on me, if I sit while he cooks all the time, if it's okay with us and our lifestyle? I have asked, sounds very alright to me.

The man should definitely not do all the cooking if that's not best for them, I mean in the end, we all want a solution to the problem after all.

I suggest, they talk about it and decide, if they both can't decide on who should do it or how it should be done between them, then they can get a maid if they can afford it.

Honestly, I find this kinda trivial for divorce, that's why it's best to know how you want to be married and agree on it before hand, but 'last last' if they can't agree, what do you want me to say?

Mindfulness:


It has a lot to do with being a woman since women are USUALLY the ones to stay at home once children are born. Therefore, the home front is their domain, EVOLUTIONARY AND TRADITIONALLY.

freecocoa:
Well women don't stay at home no more, now do they?

crackhaus:

Wow!


Okay, so you would rather they get a maid to do the cooking than proposing that the woman do the cooking at least some of the time... Again, Wow!!

You don't see anything wrong in a woman that doesn't want to cook the food that her husband will eat - the husband she wore a gown and walked down the aisle to spend her life with? The husband she picked out of the many suitors who might have come her way? The husband she proclaims all her love and affections for? The husband who makes her scream while her legs vibrate from orgasmic rhythms during and after sex?

No way! I honestly can't believe any sane woman would be okay with this..

Okay I get it, I have come to the conclusion that the man is a very crappy fvck...because I know that once a man fvcks a woman real hard and good, y'all end up having no problem with cooking a meal for him..

Either this, or you people really take all this equality and feminism bullshiit way too far.

freecocoa:
Not when these tools have proven to not work, they would need new ones.

There lies what I've been saying, why should they be all those things because they don't want marriage? Anyhow you look at it, the norms remains the problems, those men are probably shying away from it because the women are refusing to conform to certain norms . Honey marriage in itself is not the issue so there's really no need to boycott it, some of the rules just need to be changed.

Okay fine, both parties are to be blamed but the men should take a greater percentage of the blame because they rightly deserve it. I have thought about it and I know(using me as an example) what I can bring to the table, hence my demands, now many other women can do same but are being held back, it has never been a level playing field for both genders.

Ofcourse I know this and I'm telling you that in the case of this particular accident, it was caused by the malfunctioning car, not the driver. If the brake of my car is damaged and I tried to apply it to no avail, will you blame me for the brake not functioning?

freecocoa:
Now you are getting emotional, emotions and logic don't mix very well. Did you not read that the maid comes in only if they can't reach an agreement? By default you should know that a woman that can cook and has the time, will do it, well unless she's unreasonable or doesn't give a feck about her hubby. How have I suggested that the woman shouldn't cook? I thought we are looking for lasting solution to the problem, no?

Wait, is the issue that the woman has vehemently refused to cook regardless of the fact that she can and has the time to? Make I even know wetin I dey argue sef.

Dude chill, women don't feck men's brain out? What type of women have you been getting with?

freecocoa:
Not when these tools have proven to not work, they would need new ones.

There lies what I've been saying, why should they be all those things because they don't want marriage? Anyhow you look at it, the norms remains the problems, those men are probably shying away from it because the women are refusing to conform to certain norms .

Honey marriage in itself is not the issue so there's really no need to boycott it, some of the rules just need to be changed.

Okay fine, both parties are to be blamed but the men should take a greater percentage of the blame because they rightly deserve it. I have thought about it and I know(using me as an example) what I can bring to the table, hence my demands, now many other women can do same but are being held back, it has never been a level playing field for both genders.

Ofcourse I know this and I'm telling you that in the case of this particular accident, it was caused by the malfunctioning car, not the driver. If the brake of my car is damaged and I tried to apply it to no avail, will you blame me for the brake not functioning?

crackhaus:

Yes I'm getting emotional...I even cried for you.

So what's your long-term lasting solution to this issue?

Take a stand Freecocoa..
Are you for the woman cooking, or for a maid coming in to do the cooking, or that the man continues being official cook?

freecocoa:
Eiyah dearie, weep no more.

I have given you my solution, they should talk about it, if the man or woman agrees to cook all the days of his/her life, I wish them luck, all I am against is anyone being forced into it. How is that not understandable?

Timbuktou:


Maybe those complaining about the tools aren't skillful enough to make it work. Others have made use of these same tools and had resounding success.

Well, why are the women now complaining? These same oyinbo women that you hold as role models! . Again, I dare you women to boycott marraige. The fact is that marriage was designed to help and protect women and children. Take it or leave it. Now, that oyinbo women don't want to cook anymore, the men are bailing out and replacing them when they reach menopause with younger, more nubile females. There's a reason why women have been performing the same roles the world over, in all cultures, in all millennia. You think it's oppression? No, it's because whatever they brought o the table gave them that option.

Yet, your wonderful western civilised women are being boycotted by the second. Madam, whether black or white or yellow, men want their women to nurture. That is the only thing of value a man wants from a woman whether or not you want to accept it.

Good luck with your demands, but know that whatever you demand will be met by a corresponding demand. And I'll tell you what's holding those women back, their own limitations, not men. Women have been divorcing since time immemorial. However, I have a bette option for them; not marrying at all. Educate your sisters, of course, your own post-35/40 elder sistren will watch with pity.

Ah, we'll just have to disagree on that, won't we?

crackhaus:

Lol, there won't be a need to force anyone into doing anything if they all knew their places.

great2015:
Honestly, i don't know what some people think that marriage is all about. Marriage is for two mature minds. That girl (thats what she is) is not homely at all. Is too early to involve third party in their marriage. This is the time she has to draw her husband attention towards her alone, if she doesn't want him to start going outside. And the only way to do that is by being submissive, good food, caring etc. Hmmm, i know what i'm saying ooh, i mingle with married women; marriage is not friendship. Please do your duties, before you start saying had i know.

MEN, please there are some things you don't have to over do in courtship, do things out of love.

I believe that one of the reasons why she loves him, is because he can cook very well. And she got married to him with the mindset that he will be doing the cooking for her.
SINGLES, PLEASE LETS READ BOOKS AND ATTEND SEMINARS THAT WILL HELP US TO BUILD A HAPPY HOME.

babygirlfl:


Now this is what some women on this section do that is really annoying. Women who believe in a rigid role for men and women thinking every woman has to believe the same thing and disagreeing with them means there is something wrong with her or she was not well brought up. I don't have a problem in whatever you believe or if you want to be a superwoman, the problem is when they wIIIant to force that on every woman. Some of us have parents who have been happily (or contently :sagamite 2015) married for decades and are married ourselves without sticking to rigid societal roles. If you believe in that, fine but don't think every home will be run like that or that you are better than the other woman who does not believe in that. To these women, I am telling you all that you don't have to bring down other women to look good. Wise men will see through your pretense.

freecocoa:
Trust me dear, if resounding success was recorded as you claim, we won't be having this discourse, I also don't know how you can make an unworkable tool work, magic perhaps?

I don't hold anyone as a role model on this issue, you have to quit making the mistake of believing such. You still don't get it, the women are complaining because, society stigmatise them for not being married. Story, women have been performing the same roles because some men made some laws to subdue women, I have told you we are where we are today because men used physical strength to over power women, you take it or leave it. why did women and children need protection in the first place? If I'm to even buy that your claim.

I'm sorry I cannot accept it, there's no way it is solely a woman's role to nurture.

Men are part of the reason holding them back, I did say it has never been a level playing field for both genders. I am equal to task so don't worry about me, I can't ask what I can't give of him.

We will.

bukatyne:


I totally agree with your post.

It was a flaw I had (not even regarding gender roles but on life generally) until I realized everyone is NOT like me or have the same value system.

More than one way leads to the market

That girl is very pretty by the way

GboyegaD:


Did you read any part where she ordered him to cook? Stop the insults and mind your business instead.

mart2k:
pls, read it carefully, u wil notice where she mentioned somtin like that. Not that she say it directly

GboyegaD:


He's been cooking since their dating days thereby making her feel he's comfortable doing that. That is why there is a need for tact in getting her switch the roles.

martyns303:
One of my friend just got married four months ago and already there is fuss in his marriage. I have known both of the couple right from when their relationship was a hide and seek thing to when both families became involved, needless to say I know them very well and they are a perfect match. Let me start by introducing the guy, he used to be my roommate back in school, friends usually tease him calling him "100 yards husband material" for his attributes, this guy can keep the room sparkling clean all day and cooks better than some of our moms, not exaggerating.


He wedded his girlfriend just a month after her final exams, she is 24 (my friend is 27). 2 days ago he came to my place complaining that his wife seldom cooks and that he can count the number of times she had cooked. I told him maybe she is intimidated by his cooking, but he says he doesn't mind and just want her to do her wifey duties. I called his wife and asked her what's going on, and she said he had always cooked while they were dating and don't know why he his fussing now.


From what I can deduce, my guy is trying to be authoritative, he kept using the phrase "I am the man", he have the time as his job is flexible, so cooking shouldn't be a problem, at the same time the wife is failing to do her duties. I don't know how to advice them without taking sides. 


The wife is a registered NLer, so am sure she will see this and get the necessary advice.


Lalasticlala please help this young couple.

Ishilove do your thing.