A female cousin of mine was complaining today that her husband is still close to his ex lover that she sometimes report her relationship problems to him and she sometimes visit them, she is getting uncomfortable with their closeness, nairalanders do you think she is overreacting and she should just forget about their closeness or she should put an end to their relationship?

No big deal

Oyind17:
No big deal

like seriously?

She's moving on.... Get another bestie and move on too... Haba!

I don't know

fantazia:
like seriously?

A big yes

IMO an ex should remain an ex

adet991:
IMO an ex should remain an ex

Case closed

And am sure your cousin is banging another man possibly your ex gan gan

Exes should remain in the past.

You should be worried, I wouldn't tolerate that

Ex should be in the past.

Makes no sense in as much as they are married. Such ex should be at arm's length. The man should know better moreover.

Missmossy:
Makes no sense in as much as they are married. Such ex should be at arm's length. The man should know better moreover.

I agree with you! Imagine if it was the other way round..........!

liliana:


I agree with you! Imagine if it was the other way round..........!

Exactly!!!


Men really frown at such especially insecure ones but some don't mind being friends with their ex. I tire.

It depends o, If you trust your Hussy,his closeness to her shouldnt be a case,after all she comes to ur house, that also means her own husband knows ur man too.if the lady seem not good with character,then thats another matter for talks,but on the over all,if your man is trust worhty,pls save your self the headache and move on, show oga all d love he needs and he wont have to look else where, you wont only be secure if you man aint god fearing,and that is what we preach to all you women,.He must be god fearing else nothing will really make sense to him

Ah dey come

The person I blame here is your cousin. Seriously, I think she has low self esteem and she needs to work on herself. Don't get me wrong, the husband is clearly crossing the line here and for you cousin to even tolerate such and she is just becoming uncomfortable is quite surprising. And from what I can conclude, the ex is still single and your cousin's marriage seems to be a young marriage.

Please tell your cousin to speak to her husband and make it clear to him she is uncomfortable with their closeness. She has other friends she can take her relationship problems to and it is not nice for her to visit you. Like seriously? If he tries to explain, ask her to tell him if the roles were reversed how will he feel?

I am a married man myself and I cannot even imagine bring my ex to my house or my wife doing such. I am one of those that strongly feel that if you are married, you have no business being best friends with the opposite spouse - which kain bestie be that?

NashvilleTN:
The person I blame here is your cousin. Seriously, I think she has low self esteem and she needs to work on herself. Don't get me wrong, the husband is clearly crossing the line here and for you cousin to even tolerate such and she is just becoming uncomfortable is quite surprising. And from what I can conclude, the ex is still single and your cousin's marriage seems to be a young marriage.

Please tell your cousin to speak to her husband and make it clear to him she is uncomfortable with their closeness. She has other friends she can take her relationship problems to and it is not nice for her to visit you. Like seriously? If he tries to explain, ask her to tell him if the roles were reversed how will he feel?

I am a married man myself and I cannot even imagine bring my ex to my house or my wife doing such. I am one of those that strongly feel that if you are married, you have no business being best friends with the opposite spouse - which kain bestie be that?

Nashville im curious, why did you say that the lady has low self ezteem and needs to work on herself?

Agony uncle kini?
The ex should visit NL if she needs advise and leave the man alone to face his own relationship wahala
What is she doing in your cousins house . . .visit for what? and in what capacity? She sits down and your cousin even serve her drinks?!

ere kini ni aja n ba ekun she
Damiso oooooooooooo

At least one of then decided that they no longer wanted to continue the relationship, so ki lo tun ku
Your cousin should not say because she wants to be seen as "cool" and enlightened wifey pretend to accept something she is not happy with

its a New marriage . . .so let your cousins husband focus on building that first & with no distractions before helping build another ex's relationship.
When they have both been married for 40 years then they can become friends again
By then all lustful & midi midi feelings would have gone

gidjah:
It depends o, If you trust your Hussy,his closeness to her shouldnt be a case,after all she comes to ur house, that also means her own husband knows ur man too.if the lady seem not good with character,then thats another matter for talks,but on the over all,if your man is trust worhty,pls save your self the headache and move on, show oga all d love he needs and he wont have to look else where, you wont only be secure if you man aint god fearing,and that is what we preach to all you women,.He must be god fearing else nothing will really make sense to him

abeg an ex should be an ex....she even visits the house... dont worry she will soon take over!

Men don't like to be beating in their own game. Just get in touch with your Ex and have him come to your
house frequently or call you frequently and make your hubby is aware. You will see how angry your hubby will be. If he protest to it, then
tell him to do away with his ex before you do same. First to do no dey pain. some men sef don't know where
to draw the line.

tearoses:


Nashville im curious, why did you say that the lady has low self ezteem and needs to work on herself?

I am sorry, but there are some things people shouldn't ask? Why would a wife allow her husband's ex to be that close. To start coming to their house and for them to be exchanging relationship texts. The woman surely doesn't know her rights.

Her husband's behavior is so inappropriate in my view, she shouldn't need outsiders to tell her that her husband and his ex are getting too close for comfort.

Ex should remain in the past

Reporting family issues to the Ex.....the ex must be some 'unleavable' Sweetheart!.....tah.....some married men can ruin dis planet wit their inside-out character!...Now Cousin......say no to rubbish! And u arnt over reacting o

NashvilleTN:


I am sorry, but there are some things people shouldn't ask? Why would a wife allow her husband's ex to be that close. To start coming to their house and for them to be exchanging relationship texts. The woman surely doesn't know her rights.

Her husband's behavior is so inappropriate in my view, she shouldn't need outsiders to tell her that her husband and his ex are getting too close for comfort.

Thank you
I get you now
I thought you were somewhat blaming the girl for being worried about her hubbys relationship with the ex, then I read the rest of your post and got confused

I agree with you, its shouldnt even had gotten to this, she should have said NO from the onset before it even got to that point

Like you said, she needs to put her foot down and refuse for both her and the marriage to be disrespected.

OP tell your cousin not to lend her husband to anyone as an agony uncle. If he needs a friend, his wife is there to be his friend. bestie ko bestie ni

As the posters above me have said, it is wrong.

1. Tell your cousin to say NO to it. Under no circumstance should that ex set foot in their house. Your cousin's husband should not be solving his ex's problems. In fact he should keep distance and focus on his wife.

2. If the above fails, tell your cousin to also invite one of her exs frequently. That will drive the point home. It will make the husband realize that his actions are not good... They hurt his wife (your cousin). When he stops entertaining the ex, your cousin will also stop entertaining her ex.

The aim of point 2 is not revenge. It is to make him realize his mistake (assuming he doesn't know)

tearoses:


Thank you
I get you now
I thought you were somewhat blaming the girl for being worried about her hubbys relationship with the ex, then I read the rest of your post and got confused

I agree with you, its shouldnt even had gotten to this, she should have said NO from the onset before it even got to that point

Like you said, she needs to put her foot down and refuse for both her and the marriage to be disrespected.

OP tell your cousin not to lend her husband to anyone as an agony uncle. If he needs a friend, his wife is there to be his friend. bestie ko bestie ni

i trust you madam

LadyX:
As the posters above me have said, it is wrong.

1. Tell your cousin to say NO to it. Under no circumstance should that ex set foot in their house. Your cousin's husband should not be solving his ex's problems. In fact he should keep distance and focus on his wife.

2. If the above fails, tell your cousin to also invite one of her exs frequently. That will drive the point home. It will make the husband realize that his actions are not good... They hurt his wife (your cousin). When he stops entertaining the ex, your cousin will also stop entertaining her ex.

The aim of point 2 is not revenge. It is to make him realize his mistake (assuming he doesn't know)

are u related to ladyf?

hbpeze:
And am sure your cousin is banging another man possibly your ex gan gan

what are u saying?

She's not overreacting. Males rarely have female bestfriends, unlike babes that have close male friends all the time. The fact that the lady in question is his ex makes it that much worse. Since they're actually married, the guy should just cut the ties if that's what will make his wife happy. Life involves sacrifice

As for me, my hubby won't have anyyyyy friends besides me, not even guy friends

MrsPhyno:
She's not overreacting. Males rarely have female bestfriends, unlike babes that have close male friends all the time. The fact that the lady in question is his ex makes it that much worse. Since they're actually married, the guy should just cut the ties if that's what will make his wife happy. Life involves sacrifice

As for me, my hubby won't have anyyyyy friends besides me, not even guy friends

@UR last sentence, ure kidding right?