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When Your Nanny/househelp Suddenly Becomes An Ally To The Neighbours! - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: When Your Nanny/househelp Suddenly Becomes An Ally To The Neighbours! by kennybrasco: 3:41pm On Sep 20, 2015
You trust her...that's the reason you allowed her in your home and to look after your kids.

She has every right to interact with whom ever she wants.

Why are you jittery over her relationship with your neighbour?

As long as your kids are safe, I don't see any need to be worried or uncomfortable with her freedom of association.

By the way why worry about what people say about you. No matter what you do.... They will always have something to say. So why worry.

1 Like

Re: When Your Nanny/househelp Suddenly Becomes An Ally To The Neighbours! by AlienStar: 3:42pm On Sep 20, 2015
Anoda person taking care of ur children n yet u complain. U can't train ur children d way u want, it won't be long we hear stories that touch.
Re: When Your Nanny/househelp Suddenly Becomes An Ally To The Neighbours! by Nobody: 3:42pm On Sep 20, 2015
Mystical888:

Hello House,

I'm in a dilemma concerning my househelp and Nanny.

I've noticed she has developed a relationship with the neighbours which I'm not comfortable about.

She isn't a live in hand but has been with us for 2 years now.
She is a woman in her early 40s, a Yoruba Christian who stays not too far from my place.

She helps with housechores when we are away at work.
Her job role is to:-

(1) prepare the kids and take them to school every morning.

(2) Return to the house and do housekeep.

(3)Take the kids home after school hours.

(4)Prepare lunch for them and help them with their home work.

Her hours of work is between 7am and 7pm when she resigns to go to her house.

My daughter has told me how they've gone twice to watch TV next door in the home of both neighbours. (Nanny took them there).

Should I be worried about this development or is it part of the growing up phase for the kids?

Seems she isn't challenged enough with the workload and what does she do when she's at the neighbours.
install a cctv camera.
Re: When Your Nanny/househelp Suddenly Becomes An Ally To The Neighbours! by menix(m): 3:44pm On Sep 20, 2015
AODT:
Am yet to understand how it is an issue for you. You don't need to talk to her like someone suggested, this is you home for crying out loud.

If you are not comfortable with her, simply send her packing or better still sack her and get someone else to do the job.

Wat happens when the nxt employee does same
Sack abii
Then b prepared to keep sacking..

OP. Pls talk to her nd find out wat she enjoys in ur neigbours house then provide it for them.
Re: When Your Nanny/househelp Suddenly Becomes An Ally To The Neighbours! by Neplusultra(f): 3:45pm On Sep 20, 2015
[sub][/sub]
annawhite:
look a for a new nanny! She is selling you out to the neighbours...she should be like a sister to you. but in this case she is the frenemy *kicK her to the curb #safety first
Exactly!
Re: When Your Nanny/househelp Suddenly Becomes An Ally To The Neighbours! by menix(m): 3:46pm On Sep 20, 2015
afolag:

install a cctv camera.

So a CCTV camera will stop her frm going to the neigbours house wivout confronting her

Wise fellow.
Re: When Your Nanny/househelp Suddenly Becomes An Ally To The Neighbours! by Kirinwa: 3:46pm On Sep 20, 2015
babythug:

See if you can add more chores maybe that will curb the idle time.

Have a word with her too and firmly express that you don't want that.

Begin to explore back up nanny options.

Don't let her know your daughter gave you the information

You must be a task mistress.
What makes you people think house helps are not humans and so are not capable of being social.

She has freedom of association as enshrined in the Constitution.

She's been with you for 2 years. Is it not long enough to know her kind of person?

Like someone rightly mentioned, what role are you playing in the life of your children if a house help does everything.

You think money is everything?
Ask Omotola, Michelle Obama etc

Inspite of their jobs, they still have time for their children
Re: When Your Nanny/househelp Suddenly Becomes An Ally To The Neighbours! by honoc1(m): 3:48pm On Sep 20, 2015
2 bzi 2 take of ur kids?.... Den get ready 4 wateva hapns.... Bt let me say y is dat a treat or disturbance 2 u? R d neighbours acting funny or u suspect a foul act ?..... Try talking 2 her abt dat n provide wateva wuld make her stay home @ d end ur children r still benefiting from it.... Plz note ur children shuld b 1st in wateva u r doin, find time n train dem no 1 can do it 4 u!!!
Re: When Your Nanny/househelp Suddenly Becomes An Ally To The Neighbours! by Nobody: 3:51pm On Sep 20, 2015
raayah:


The parents are working hard to take care of their kids.. not everyone has the luxury of staying at home!
so they leave their parental duty to a stranger because of work? Do you know that that is equivalent to stressing yourself for another man's job while your own is left unguarded?

I can bet you that the only childhood memories the kids will have will be the ones giving by the nanny who bathes them, takes them to school, feeds them and gives them$ adventure of relating with neighbours. The kids will bond with the nanny more than their mother. I can assure you that they'll have more than a thousand things to say about the nanny but just a few about their mum. That few won't span beyond her going to work early and returning late.

2 Likes

Re: When Your Nanny/househelp Suddenly Becomes An Ally To The Neighbours! by Bruno3000(m): 3:55pm On Sep 20, 2015
ambient:
all you women up there advicng her to sack her or give her extra load are wicked what happened to simple telling her not to go there.wicked housewives
women genarally are very wicked.... See them
Re: When Your Nanny/househelp Suddenly Becomes An Ally To The Neighbours! by freecocoa(f): 3:56pm On Sep 20, 2015
Hian o! The kinds of things one reads on this NL tire me, so someone can't be friends with others because she works for you? OP go and sleep abeg.
Re: When Your Nanny/househelp Suddenly Becomes An Ally To The Neighbours! by Nobody: 3:56pm On Sep 20, 2015
menix:


So a CCTV camera will stop her frm going to the neigbours house wivout confronting her

Wise fellow.
I shuld av spelt it out for u......this will reveal all her movement. then u can ask her where she was at so so time. duty time is duty time. more potential danger can then be averted like when d neighbours will mke ur hse a destination for season 2 after avin a full knowledge of what u own and borrow.
u culd av asked for my reasons or more xplanatn next time dnt jump into attacking pple online because u av d chance. we dnt reason d same way like this we gain more and more.

1 Like

Re: When Your Nanny/househelp Suddenly Becomes An Ally To The Neighbours! by broxymall(m): 3:57pm On Sep 20, 2015
Visit my signature
Re: When Your Nanny/househelp Suddenly Becomes An Ally To The Neighbours! by Nobody: 3:58pm On Sep 20, 2015
Let the woman be abeg! don't you socialize in your place of work? If I ask u now that woman salary go be 10k per month and you want to imprison her undecided
Re: When Your Nanny/househelp Suddenly Becomes An Ally To The Neighbours! by InvertedHammer: 3:58pm On Sep 20, 2015
Mystical888:

Hello House,

I'm in a dilemma concerning my househelp and Nanny.

I've noticed she has developed a relationship with the neighbours which I'm not comfortable about.

She isn't a live in hand but has been with us for 2 years now.
She is a woman in her early 40s, a Yoruba Christian who stays not too far from my place.

She helps with housechores when we are away at work.
Her job role is to:-

(1) prepare the kids and take them to school every morning.

(2) Return to the house and do housekeep.

(3)Take the kids home after school hours.

(4)Prepare lunch for them and help them with their home work.

Her hours of work is between 7am and 7pm when she resigns to go to her house.

My daughter has told me how they've gone twice to watch TV next door in the home of both neighbours. (Nanny took them there).

Should I be worried about this development or is it part of the growing up phase for the kids?

Seems she isn't challenged enough with the workload and what does she do when she's at the neighbours.
/
YOU ARE NOT A PARENT!!!

PLEASE DON'T HAVE ANYMORE KIDS.

The nanny is your children's mother. Re-read your post and you will know why.
\
Re: When Your Nanny/househelp Suddenly Becomes An Ally To The Neighbours! by freecocoa(f): 3:58pm On Sep 20, 2015
babythug:

See if you can add more chores maybe that will curb the idle time.

Have a word with her too and firmly express that you don't want that.

Begin to explore back up nanny options.

Don't let her know your daughter gave you the information
You forgot to advise her to increase pay alongside the chores.

So interacting with neighbours is now a crime that one should be sacked for? Seriously where's our empathy? O jesus!undecided
Re: When Your Nanny/househelp Suddenly Becomes An Ally To The Neighbours! by wtfCode: 4:01pm On Sep 20, 2015
yomi007k:
Those people aint Robots.

They need 2 mingle wt other ppl or else depression gona creep in.

So long as she does her job well n does no harm, I don't think dts a big deal.
Re: When Your Nanny/househelp Suddenly Becomes An Ally To The Neighbours! by johnsonjosbles(m): 4:01pm On Sep 20, 2015
U need too act fast. I hv had such xperience b4. Dou mine lives with us . I neva knew she goes abt telling my secret to abt 3 of my neibors. To d extend each time I hv argument with my hubby and Virtually evrything that happned in my house on a daily basis. One of them was not ok,so she confessed to me inform of advise telling me to Stop discussing family issues in the presence of my house help. So wen I got home I had to dig out d truth from her. And what she confessed !!! U will not believe it right now am not in gudterms with 3 of my neighbors. Dey were already planning to sell her out to prostitution telling her that wen ever I sent her with money worth. 1k she shud run to dem dey willsend her to some1 dat will take her to their village u knw what dat means? Neibors can do what u neva imagined.
Re: When Your Nanny/househelp Suddenly Becomes An Ally To The Neighbours! by Toscoas2(m): 4:03pm On Sep 20, 2015
last thing on my time table is to take house help or nanny, I never pray to enslave anybody.... wait ooo Op wat type of job are u into?
I see u as a lazy type.... u need to take care of ur home before someone else do it for you......talk wit ur hubby and schedule Hw to handle the house chores urself........
I always tell my girlfrnd (in case she graduated to wife ) dt I don't need any helper frm my family or hers....if it is only 2children I will have them and live in peace than taking someone frm anybody and create problem for myself.
Hv seen a situation whr my Auntie and our elder sister are not in good term and d house help who happen to b her sister will b d one telling our elder sister all dt is happening in d house.....because d woman is a discipline one dt handle d girl so much......at d end d girl ran away without informing anybody...
Re: When Your Nanny/househelp Suddenly Becomes An Ally To The Neighbours! by iamwrong(m): 4:04pm On Sep 20, 2015
OP has every reason reason to be afraid of that nanny, especially the part where she mingles with other families in your vicinity thereby giving room to third parties to have information relating to family which ordinarily they couldn't get considering the fact that shes a woman as well as the risk of getting the kids exposed to what they not supposed to be exposed to at their age.

lol i have been there, grew up part of my life with a nanny. and i tell you what? except the nanny is a pleasant woman especially if the kids happens to love her are happy when she shows up, if its the other way round then you are damaging the emotional build up and chemistry with your kids as well as exposing them to risks your kids can never tell you about and they grow up with a certain mindset that u may not understand. In fairness its not easy combining career with keeping the home. But truth be told for your kids to turn out well you need to be there for them most times especially at the childhood stage, before they enter the teens stage where most parents experience challenges with teens some caused by foundations from childhood.

Your kids needs you more than the nanny herself. 7am-7pm? Haba! Well you should look for a creche that renders a similar service or let them school close to your place of work where you can keep an eye on them.
Re: When Your Nanny/househelp Suddenly Becomes An Ally To The Neighbours! by llaykorn: 4:04pm On Sep 20, 2015
Neplusultra:
[sub][/sub] Exactly!

I only thought crude and heartless old women existed only in Nollywood. You're saying 'exactly' like barbie doll. How are you sure that's what's happening? Do you live with them? Juz imagine....


That awkward moment you just got the proof that common sense has gone so uncommon. undecided
Re: When Your Nanny/househelp Suddenly Becomes An Ally To The Neighbours! by NICOGRAVITY: 4:05pm On Sep 20, 2015
JUST PRAY ABOUT IT FIRST.
I remember my neighbors always coming over to our house to watch TV, just for the fun of it and for the sake of us chatting.
Your children also need to socialize with other children in the neighborhood.
You better thank God that she takes your children to your neighbors house, at least you know that other families around are also keeping an eye on your children and on the woman. Just restrict the constant going to neighbors house.lesson teacher, this will occupy her more and benefit
Pay her a little extra to be your children's private your children.
She is more like the mother of your children as she spends more daily and social hours with them.
Re: When Your Nanny/househelp Suddenly Becomes An Ally To The Neighbours! by axeman10(m): 4:05pm On Sep 20, 2015
I don't know the kind of relationship you have with your neighbours and while I may not support the nanny taking your kids to neighbours' house to watch TV...i think you should encourage her to take them out once in a while to go play.

Staying home all day, Monday thru Friday house could be boring for the kids, and they need interactions for their all round development.

I'm only giving this advice based on the fact that you know your nanny inside out n not d type that runs away with kids oo
Re: When Your Nanny/househelp Suddenly Becomes An Ally To The Neighbours! by Ajgal10(f): 4:05pm On Sep 20, 2015
Points to Note
1)Nanny is in her 40's,it means Nanny is a mummy too,she cannot be Isolated or is not used to keeping to herself.
2)Nanny is yoruba,hw abt you?yorubas are quite extrovert in Nature,she cant help but Associate with the Neighbors.
3)Are you friendly to your Neighbors?If yes,then feel free your kids are Safe,if No,then Start being Nice to them.It will save alot of fear and heart ache.
Lastly,start engaging mama in conversations gradually about how she spends her spare time when she is done with chores,from there you can predict and have a hint about what she does in Neighbors house and Also chip in the conversation of how you really dont like some much interference in other peoples homes or lives and her going to the Neighbor often may lead to conflict or Gossip so she should be mature and careful about it for the sake of the Kids.
Lastly,tell the Kids Neighbor is wonderful and having Neighbors is a good thing but they should Always let you know whenever they have to go there and Also not eat and Drink till they are permitted to do so.
Re: When Your Nanny/househelp Suddenly Becomes An Ally To The Neighbours! by llaykorn: 4:06pm On Sep 20, 2015
johnsonjosbles:
U need too act fast. I hv had such xperience b4. Dou mine lives with us . I neva knew she goes abt telling my secret to abt 3 of my neibors. To d extend each time I hv argument with my hubby and Virtually evrything that happned in my house on a daily basis. One of them was not ok,so she confessed to me inform of advise telling me to Stop discussing family issues in the presence of my house help. So wen I got home I had to dig out d truth from her. And what she confessed !!! U will not believe it right now am not in gudterms with 3 of my neighbors. Dey were already planning to sell her out to prostitution telling her that wen ever I sent her with money worth. 1k she shud run to dem dey willsend her to some1 dat will take her to their village u knw what dat means? Neibors can do what u neva imagined.


You have a minor as a slave in your house, don't you? undecided
Re: When Your Nanny/househelp Suddenly Becomes An Ally To The Neighbours! by TopHand: 4:11pm On Sep 20, 2015
are you a good neighbour or bad neighbour? why dont you want her to be friends with yur neighbours? afterall they are your neighbours if your house is on fire who are you going to run to? the nanny is running your house and bringing up your children satisfactory yet you are complaining, you what to sack her becos you do not want her developing friendship with your neighbours, cant you see her age? 40 years you want her to be zombie? let me advise you it is not easy to get a woman who you trust enough to spend 12hrs alone a day in your house, who will not chase your husband, she basicaly performs the role of mother to your children and does all those chores you can not do, if you think there are better nannys in town simply sack her and try yur luck again, in a world full of kidnappers, armed robbers and fraudsters you never know who is giong to to hit the jackpot next.

2 Likes

Re: When Your Nanny/househelp Suddenly Becomes An Ally To The Neighbours! by Jckleiin(m): 4:15pm On Sep 20, 2015
If you're not comfortable with it, just CAMLY talk to her. There is a way you would go about it and you might send the wrong signals not just to her but your neighbours too.

1 Like

Re: When Your Nanny/househelp Suddenly Becomes An Ally To The Neighbours! by tunergy(m): 4:16pm On Sep 20, 2015
Mystical888:

Hello House,

I'm in a dilemma concerning my househelp and Nanny.

I've noticed she has developed a relationship with the neighbours which I'm not comfortable about.

She isn't a live in hand but has been with us for 2 years now.
She is a woman in her early 40s, a Yoruba Christian who stays not too far from my place.

She helps with housechores when we are away at work.
Her job role is to:-

(1) prepare the kids and take them to school every morning.

(2) Return to the house and do housekeep.

(3)Take the kids home after school hours.

(4)Prepare lunch for them and help them with their home work.

Her hours of work is between 7am and 7pm when she resigns to go to her house.

My daughter has told me how they've gone twice to watch TV next door in the home of both neighbours. (Nanny took them there).

Should I be worried about this development or is it part of the growing up phase for the kids?

Seems she isn't challenged enough with the workload and what does she do when she's at the neighbours.


Sister, the Handwritting is all over the place.

Change is Inevitable.
Do not waste time to act.

As this is the Time to act and pls act fast.
Re: When Your Nanny/househelp Suddenly Becomes An Ally To The Neighbours! by Neplusultra(f): 4:17pm On Sep 20, 2015
llaykorn:


I only thought crude and heartless old women existed only in Nollywood. You're saying 'exactly' like barbie doll. How are you sure that's what's happening? Do you live with them? Juz imagine....


That awkward moment you just got the proof that common sense has gone so uncommon. undecided
I doubt if you are a Family man/Woman Sir however, if I didn't know better I wuldnt have said dat, iv got first hand experience of the the OP's plight so chill!
Re: When Your Nanny/househelp Suddenly Becomes An Ally To The Neighbours! by phillipcoz: 4:17pm On Sep 20, 2015
Nanny at 40... and you think is her hobby or she does that for pleasure, i understand you have the right to the kind of lifestyle you want for your household, but give the woman breathing space as well by making her feel like a human, you don't expect a 40 years old woman to sit all day with kids watching Ben10, her mind will end up becoming idle and you should know what that means. Naija! 7a.m to 7p.m and people are still asking for more work load, i wish you guys what you wish the woman.

just take it easy with her if she is getting things right concerning taking care of the children, because those nanny really have influence over the children and be careful before your nanny and neighbours starts making you topic of there discussion.

1 Like

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