There was a time in my life between the age of 18 and 20; I had plans and pictures of how my life will turn out when I become 30. Just like every other girl’s dream; I would meet my husband during my university days, and after graduation; would wish to be posted for National Youth Service Corps (NYSC) in the same state with my husband-to-be, possibly be retained at the primary place of assignment or get a good paying job afterwards (I used to think getting a good job in naija wasn’t a big deal). Then afterwards, get married, buy a house at a very good location in Abuja and Dubai, with three kids, all by the time I am 30.

You know, the age of 25 is kinda like a special age. It is an age where you stand on the edge of a new chapter of your life. At that time, out of a hundred percent, you have lived one-fourth of your life. Most people feel they are confirmed adults on their 25th birthday in the Nigerian setting.

Yea, 21 year birthdays’ are usually celebrated in a big way in the western world and also in Nigeria, ushering us into adulthood. In the western world, you see practical results. They are already adults and can move out of their parents’ house, if they so desire and the parents would not stop them as long as they can take care of themselves. But for people like us in Naija that have strict parental guidance and having respect for our parents, the acknowledgement of being an adult at 21 is only applicable in theory. Where do you want to pack your load to? Lol. If you like be very loaded, na you sabi.

For guys, it’s a bit easier to move out when you feel you can take care of yourself without depending on your parents financially. But for most ladies, if you like have all the money in the world at the age of 21, just dont make the mistake of telling your parents you want to move out and live on your own. That is when your parents will tell you your life history about how they gave birth to you, took care of you until now, how they have suffered during their early years just to make sure that they give you a better life and set a good path for you to follow, and because you have started making money that they have been making before you were born, you feel you have grown wings. Some parents might go further to ask afterwards; you have now grown wings to fly, abi?. What an elder sees while sitting, you my child will not see it even if you climb an iroko tree. Hahahahahaha!!!!.

Back to a few months before my 25th birthday, some of the things I had dreamed about and imagined while I was younger was not anywhere close. Quite alright, I had graduated from the university and had a good job shortly after NYSC but not with the pay check I envisioned.

Hmmm, reality dawned on me on my 25th birthday. I do not know if it is applicable to you, on my birthdays, I feel very quiet inside of me; sometimes I stay out of the world for a few hours, just me, myself and I after the whole party and drama. From the kind of family I come from, no night parties allowed, in or out. By 8pm, everything is done and over. There is ample time to think about my life and strategies for the coming year. I see my birthdays like the New Year, because that is when I make all my new resolutions and hope for the best in the coming year.

The heart breaks ehn, as in, no get part 2. All the husband fairy-tale, beautiful house, cars and having my own family became blurry and reality begins to dawn on me. In fact, this time, I was becoming uncertain of ever achieving everything I dreamed of. I began to live my life the way it comes and always trying to make sure I did the best I can to improve me in all aspects; financially, spiritually, physically, mentally,… I began to see myself as a real adult and then, I started making strategic and rational decisions about my life.

Fast forward to now, I am now happily married with a child but still without a house of my own (me and hubby obviously) and the salary figures a bit higher now, which is good, *smiles*. Though, you will agree with me that all the dreams I had when I was much younger did not materialize which is a bit disappointing, but I guess that is one aspect of life we all have to embrace. So to say that we do not sometimes or usually achieve the things we so much desire. Life has a way of restructuring our path.

I do believe wisdom comes with age. One of my deepest regrets is not asking my parents certain things about life when I had the chance to. The truth is, our parents might act in a way that we do not like or tells us things that hurts us, but it is for our own good. When you are a parent, you will realize that your parents were only trying to protect you and keep you away from harm as much as they can. And this may be the reason why they might withhold certain information from you, and this is to say, they want you to unravel, discover and experience life in your own way.

For the younger bees: Relax. Don’t try to figure out everything, because things do not always work out the way you want it to be. And that is not a bad thing!!! Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans, because it is so easy to get caught up in trying to plan the future, but there is no way to predict the future, you can only try.

Do not be in such a hurry to live life. Enjoy life as it comes and do not trade today for an unforeseeable future, because things will eventually play out well if you know what you want out of life and work towards it. Try to save as much as you can, I do not mean you should be stingy to yourself. Shop when you can, travel if you like to and make sure you live a happy life.

We are all humans, we have our ups and downs, no doubt, but the ability to pick ourselves up again and keep pushing forward is what matters.

Source: www.esther.ng

what are we supposed to take away from this ma?

tpiander:
what are we supposed to take away from this ma?

That "Life aint easy" and "s.hit happens"

so true mehn.

shit happens all the damn time.

yomi007k:


That "Life aint easy" and "s.hit happens"

you didnt see shiit before?

and are you the op.

tpiander:


you didnt see shiit before?

and are you the op.

No, I didn't.

And No, I'm not d Op. I am d Op's PA.

yomi007k:


No, I didn't.

And No, I'm not d Op. I am d Op's PA.

that's great for you.

so, you've seen the shiit now?

Not sure why you jumped on the thread to post that.

are you her houseboy?

Sometimes things never go as planned...cause if it did,the world would be Paradise

*

scary , u mean all those dreams in Ferari, Emirate Stadium, White House are ...

Chei!, i don die

Awwwww.. Wonderful writeup.. Chei u r married sef, wanted to gv u kiss... Make ur husband no chase me in d spirit realm

That's a great write-up.

Thanks...

onismate:
That's a great write-up.