Flood waters can’t drown love, torrents of rain can’t put it out. Love can’t be bought, love can’t be sold– it’s not to be found in the marketplace.
(Son 8:7 MSG)

Mr. and Mrs. Zerubbabel are beautifully married. They both loved each other when they got married, but over the years, it looked like they were drifting apart. Mr. Zeru never could sense any love from his wife. Mrs. Zeru too could no longer feel any love. The more they tried to show their love to each other, the more frustrated they became.

You see, loving your spouse in marriage is not about
just showing love, it is first of all about finding out what your spouse understands as love!

When you finally discover this, it is your spouses’ password, and that is what informs your continual access to him or her. It your spouses’ love language and he or she understand nothing aside for that that. So what are the love languages? How do singles strike a balance on love languages?

According to Dr. Gary Chapman, there are five love languages. These are expressions of love to your spouse in way he/she will understand. We will take a look one after the other.

1. Words of Affirmation
This include deliberate use of words in such a way that they will build up your spouse. Good comments about the food, dressing and so on. For some couples, this will be their love language and until you do it, they will not understand your love for them. If this is your spouses’ love language, you have to learn to be more expressive.

For singles, care has to be taken not to go to the extent of using sexual words to deliberately set the mood for sex. Sex is reserved for married people and no matter how old fashioned that sounds, that still is the truth. During courtship, use of non-sexual words can be employed. Simple compliments and appreciation will do the magic.

2. Quality Time
Some individuals believe that being together, doing things together and focusing on one another are the only ways they will understand love. If this is your partner’s love language, then you will need to offer undivided attention and shut off things like television, games and other things that keep you apart. Such people whose love language is quality time, especially wives, should really not be neglected. This is because if they are left to spend more time with colleagues or any other person, emotional love may develop which could be taken to a physical level if care is not taken. If you are the husband, and this is your wife’s love language, make sure you create time out of no time to meet this important need.

For singles, quality time does not include night times. It does not include late night outs or else quality times might turn out to be regretful times. Don’t go and sleep over in his or her house before marriage in your bid to satisfy. You cannot break God’s principles in order to speak a love language.

3. Gifts
Some spouses will only understand your love for them when you give them gifts. If this is your spouse’s love language, you had better pray that God blesses you! However, gifts do not need to be expensive, but they must be consistent. If this is your spouses’ love language, don’t argue it, just go ahead and perform! Sometimes, a gift as little as a chocolate bar will do the magic.

Singles should not take advantage of their eventual partners on this and demand all the time. There is a thin line between trying to live up to your love language and being unnecessarily covetous. Demanding all the time from your fiancé may not be about love language but just greed. Check your motive. Real love wants to give and not demand all the time.

4. Acts of Service
Discovering how you can best do something for your spouse will require time and creativity. These acts of service like helping with the dishes, preparing the children for school and helping out with household chores had to be done in love in order to be seen as love language.

Please, single ladies, know that offering your bodies for sex is not part of acts of service we are looking at here. That will be better referred to as acts of foolishness!

5. Physical Touch
This is exclusive reserve of married people. Touch, stroking and the lot will be appreciated by a spouse whose love language is physical touch. Somebody once said a woman not touched consistently could have her lifespan reduced!

If you are single and you discover that this is your love language, wait till you are married before demanding for physical touches and then your life will be pleasing to God. Unguarded physical touches can culminate into heartaches and untold agony. You cannot carry fire in your bosom and not be burned. Be wise.

© Oluwaseun Philip Ojo
www.greattreasuresblog.

Nice one op! many people have not even heard of love language or dont know their love language yet it might be the one thing that will turn around their relationship for the better. I also like the quote attach to language touch.

Point of correction, touch as a love language is not exclusive to the married, kids also have the language.

Love language ke?
No how wey im go speak am o!
And vice versa!
I dun want ANY DISTURBANCE please!
O, BIAFRA TO THY TENT!!!!!

Separate bedrooms please!!!!!

one of the best and most interesting book i have ever read about marriage

I suspect my partner's love language might be sado-masochism. How do I go about it?