I came to the states to study, years later I extended my stay

Got married have young kids, but the urge to go back to Africa is daunting( I don't come from Nigeria but one of the African countries)

I went home for vacation and couldn't help the feel that I had lost a part of my life my dreams and my desires, lost relatives, missed part of my siblings growing up, missed the weather and such.
I have a feeling that

Staying back in Africa and impacting lives is worthwhile than enjoying the convenience of amenities down here.( I'm finishing a second degree and am ready to go) hubby is not on board with such, but he is willing to let me go try the experience.

To me over ten years in this country is overdue, I don't really enjoy all the drive through and other amenities in the west.

On all my visits to my country I have not had problems staying in a remote village trekking places and such. I like the exposure, experience and education I have had overseas, but I think making overseas my permanent home is futile.

Anyone ever felt such a strong desire to go back home?

who doesnt?? we all do but staying back home permanently is not possible..the urge to leave would always be there d moment you step outta your country of origin d 1st time

Miami11:
I came to the states to study, years later I extended my stay

Got married have young kids, but the urge to go back to Africa is daunting( I don't come from Nigeria but one of the African countries)

I went home for vacation and couldn't help the feel that I had lost a part of my life my dreams and my desires, lost relatives, missed part of my siblings growing up, missed the weather and such.
I have a feeling that

Staying back in Africa and impacting lives is worthwhile than enjoying the convenience of amenities down here.( I'm finishing a second degree and am ready to go) hubby is not on board with such, but he is willing to let me go try the experience.

To me over ten years in this country is overdue, I don't really enjoy all the drive through and other amenities in the west.

On all my visits to my country I have not had problems staying in a remote village trekking places and such. I like the exposure, experience and education I have had overseas, but I think making overseas my permanent home is futile.

Anyone ever felt such a strong desire to go back home?

I completely agree with you. I lived in the west a while, and every fibre of my being continued to push me to come back home. Truth is, if you are level-headed, want change for your country, are creative and motivated, you will be continuously blinded to the luxuries in the west by the many, many creations you can implement in your own country. In the end, you'll be ultimately pushed to leave these luxuries behind and see what you can achieve for your country.

Of course, this won't happen to those who are yet deprived of the western niceties. It'd happen mostly to those who have had their fill of it.

Thank you all that have contributed

I looked at the school system here, kids bringing, guns, knives to schools, I looked at my precious babies and thought, God forbid.

Companies like IBM, Google, Microsoft opened in my country, I told hubby to seek employment there. Plus the power of empowering all those we left behind that could use some mentorship. Imagine if we put the amount of hours and commitment we put clocking in here to something back in Africa we can progress slowly but surely.

This hustle and bustle overseas with nothing to show for, loneliness, no social life, it was worthwhile when I came in younger but right now, all plans in my life have been channelled home.

Hey nice post, I live in the US too and sometimes life can become monotonous. The western culture lacks the communal spirit we have back home. Their individualistic idiosyncrasy removes the luster from our daily interaction thereby causing us to yearn for the community bond we have back home.
However the challenge is when you finally get back home and you are 2 months into your determination to stay, when all welcome parties have drained all the gifts and left, the reality of the common amenities you have taken for granted dawns on you. Internet, cheap power, clean water, cheap reliable communication, security, good roads, health facility for your family, good education for your kids, social infrastructure, etc - these are what we have taken for granted.
Going home for holidays isn't the same with relocating back home o, so before you ask your husband and kids to join you in this adventure, do a test run on your own!

Goldenboy007:
Hey nice post, I live in the US too and sometimes life can become monotonous. The western culture lacks the communal spirit we have back home. Their individualistic idiosyncrasy removes the luster from our daily interaction thereby causing us to yearn for the community bond we have back home.
However the challenge is when you finally get back home and you are 2 months into your determination to stay, when all welcome parties have drained all the gifts and left, the reality of the common amenities you have taken for granted dawns on you. Internet, cheap power, clean water, cheap reliable communication, security, good roads, health facility for your family, good education for your kids, social infrastructure, etc - these are what we have taken for granted.
Going home for holidays isn't the same with relocating back home o, so before you ask your husband and kids to join you in this adventure, do a test run on your own!

You nailed it.

It's something that crosses the mind of most Africans living overseas. The fact is that when I think of the challenges of living back home as compared to the quality of life in the diaspora, I wouldn't want to subject my unborn generation to what I went through. I would only consider it if issues such as crime, public infrastructure, jobs, and healthcare have been addressed to the level of where I am at the moment.

I could tell you security and the health system at home are nothing to write home about.

But suppose you are offered 7000 dollars a month, would you relocate., the job benefits includes paying upto 90 percent of your kids school fees, you get a hefty house allowance and a company car.
Think of how this money overseas does not get you anywhere.

I don't know about Nigeria but where I come from such money will go along way. Remember in Africa bills do not amount to what we pay here.

Plan B, all my kids are citizens so in case life hits rocks for us we would just need to come back.

Hubby is not joining planning to leave yet he has to complete his PHd.

Goldenboy007:
Hey nice post, I live in the US too and sometimes life can become monotonous. The western culture lacks the communal spirit we have back home. Their individualistic idiosyncrasy removes the luster from our daily interaction thereby causing us to yearn for the community bond we have back home.
However the challenge is when you finally get back home and you are 2 months into your determination to stay, when all welcome parties have drained all the gifts and left, the reality of the common amenities you have taken for granted dawns on you. Internet, cheap power, clean water, cheap reliable communication, security, good roads, health facility for your family, good education for your kids, social infrastructure, etc - these are what we have taken for granted.
Going home for holidays isn't the same with relocating back home o, so before you ask your husband and kids to join you in this adventure, do a test run on your own!

Then when you get to your fifties, sixties and beyond, the basic amenities you mentioned may not appeal to you as much as the communal African spirit once again. You decide to relocate and build a house with the money you made while toiling in the West, but your Western trained children will not relocate with you, they will abandon you for the Western comfort which you also sort in your youth, they will adopt their individualistic culture and their lack of care for the elderly, and you may find yourself alone and full of regret, It's a vicious circle indeed.

Pidggin:


Then when you get to your fifties, sixties and beyond, the basic amenities you mentioned may not appeal to you as much as the communal African spirit once again. You decide to relocate and build a house with the money you made while toiling in the West, but your Western trained children will not relocate with you, they will abandon you for the Western comfort which you also sort in your youth, they will adopt their individualistic culture and their lack of care for the elderly, and you may find yourself alone and full of regret, It's a vicious circle indeed.

You have nailed what am trying to get at, kids here have no value for family no values whatsoever no cultural identity, I would hate for my kids to adopt this individualistic culture and dump me in a nursing home during my last days, this has been a point of contention for me and hubby for a long time.
There are a dozen standard international schools in Africa that have produced elites and I have looked into them. I have given myself a deadline in this country. I think east, west, south, north home sweet home.

I have seen this scenario over and over again. Johny got bored with life abroad and relocates home, after struggling to cope with poor amenities within 3 months he runs back to the western world . Except for few who got great job offers,I hardly see people relocating willingly. Once you taste the amenities abroad to blend in Nigeria won't be easy again. It's easier said than done.

For those that have spent their formative years in a communal society like in Africa, the social starvation might be insufferable and its even worse if you live in a homogenous society with a different language and weather. People are superficial and pretentious, you sometimes might find yourself in a situation where things that are easily found back home becomes a big deal (like making friends, being cared for, compassionate people, etc) which subsequently leads to frustration of the host country.

This is not a phenomenom experienced by Africans alone but virtually everybody, the only difference is that it is percieved in different ways. Even the natives are not left out, old people are irrelevant, having little or no social life, depression and anti-depressant consumption is very high, living a routined life etc. Unless an African is born and bred in the west, he/she would most likely get bored of the system sooner.

Although life in the west cannot be compared to Africa in terms of development. They are far ahead in all measurable terms.

i don't have the feeling of moving back but i do miss Nigeria. i would love to be able to visit whenever i want but not stay. It's weird though that your husband is wiling to see you move back to "experience" life in your country while he stays back. what will happen with your kids while you are gone or are they coming with? why also can't you just visit often to get the i miss home feelings out of your system?

Tvegas:
I have seen this scenario over and over again. Johny got bored with life abroad and relocates home, after struggling to cope with poor amenities within 3 months he runs back to the western world . Except for few who got great job offers,I hardly see people relocating willingly.It's easier said than done.

I know a few people who swear they are heading back then lo and behold you run into them back and quiet,

What I have figured out, is most of them have very high expectations of what life should reward them back at home,

Most of them make a grande come back, with bashes, announcing their comeback pouring money and all that

But if you arrive quiet, don't inform whoever is not immediate family, try to live absolutely basic, blend in, don't try eating out five times a week or go on extravagant vacations and such,
just live really simply, you might adjust well.
I have seen people that have gone and done well, and I have seen someone go and borrow money for a ticket to come back lol

pansophist:
For those that have spent their formative years in a communal society like in Africa, the social starvation might be insufferable and its even worse if you live in a homogenous society with a different language and weather. People are superficial and pretentious, you sometimes might find yourself in a situation where things that are easily found back home becomes a big deal (like making friends, being cared for, compassionate people, etc) which subsequently leads to frustration of the host country.

This is not a phenomenom experienced by Africans alone but virtually everybody, the only difference is that it is percieved in different ways. Even the natives are not left out, old people are irrelevant, having little or no social life, depression and anti-depressant consumption is very high, living a routined life etc. Unless an African is born and bred in the west, he/she would most likely get bored of the system sooner.

Well said, how you grew up determines how you will find self worth.

I thought the aspect of talking to everyone at home was epic, you never feel alone, you don't even stand a chance of getting all those personality disorders brought about by loneliness and depression.

If poverty was not an issue, I think we would all enjoy our Africa.

I would always say - these Western countries are not paradise but compared to where we are coming from - it's heaven. I had a very good telecom job in Nigeria so I was comfortable but it's 1 out every 50 graduates that have such opportunities, the chances that your kids would be as fortunate are slim. I do not want my unborn kids to go through same thing I went through. Let them have a go at being world class and not local champions, so if this "Yankee life" is what I have to endure to give them such life, so be it. I am not planning kids to be an insurance for old age, my 401k and other Nigerian investments would take care of that, I can't be selfish - I have had my chances living an independent good life, they have their lives ahead of them too, let them enjoy it too. If it is US or UK life for them; fine !!! If it's Nigeria they would love; fine !!! However sentimentally I would love to spend my old age and die in my homeland but that's me !!!
If you are legally in the US you will be financially fine, except you are lazy then you won't "make it". In just very few years of relocating, my networth (assets and investments)have increased 10x of what I perceived as my comfortable status in Nigeria. If you have the opportunity please don't let PDP and APC politicians decide the fate of your kids because their kids are not even in the country!!!

o.p, how can u be bored living in a western country? A place where things are in order, a place where dreams can be achieved, a place where u can enjoy the gudlife if u work hard. i think all u need is a long vacation to africa not a relocation. We all love africa but the truth is africa can never catch up with the west. If u ask most africans to choose btn staying in africa and permanently relocating to the west they will choose the west coz the west is the place to be.

Wise words and I totally agree especially about the opportunity for our kids. Let them have the opportunity to soar to the skies.

Goldenboy007:
I would always say - these Western countries are not paradise but compared to where we are coming from - it's heaven. I had a very good telecom job in Nigeria so I was comfortable but it's 1 out every 50 graduates that have such opportunities, the chances that your kids would be as fortunate are slim. I do not want my unborn kids to go through same thing I went through. Let them have a go at being world class and not local champions, so if this "Yankee life" is what I have to endure to give them such life, so be it. I am not planning kids to be an insurance for old age, my 401k and other Nigerian investments would take care of that, I can't be selfish - I have had my chances living an independent good life, they have their lives ahead of them too, let them enjoy it too. If it is US or UK life for them; fine !!! If it's Nigeria they would love; fine !!! However sentimentally I would love to spend my old age and die in my homeland but that's me !!!
If you are legally in the US you will be financially fine, except you are lazy then you won't "make it". In just very few years of relocating, my networth (assets and investments)have increased 10x of what I perceived as my comfortable status in Nigeria. If you have the opportunity please don't let PDP and APC politicians decide the fate of your kids because their kids are not even in the country!!!

sexydivaomalich:

Lol, I really didn't see those comments.. Were they removed or something? Or they aren't from this post?

CassieV:

Lol, I really didn't see those comments.. Were they removed or something? Or they aren't from this post?

.

They are all from her post, not removed nor deleted, just a click on her past post / username you will see all she has posted.

sexydivaomalich:
.

They are all from her post, not removed nor deleted, just a click on her past post / username you will see all she has posted.

So who are you oga Seun or his personal aide?
Instead of focusing you are busy witch hunting, get a job boss.

Can't you let people have the freedom to express their thoughts here? Smh

Pidggin:


Then when you get to your fifties, sixties and beyond, the basic amenities you mentioned may not appeal to you as much as the communal African spirit once again. You decide to relocate and build a house with the money you made while toiling in the West, but your Western trained children will not relocate with you, they will abandon you for the Western comfort which you also sort in your youth, they will adopt their individualistic culture and their lack of care for the elderly, and you may find yourself alone and full of regret, It's a vicious circle indeed.

You are so right. A lots of my friends are going through that in chicago now.