I sent the below mail last week about the problem am having with my fiance, please read


hello nairaland , am having a little problem with my guy lately, he has been receiving call and text msg from one particular bunmi and this really affecting the relationship because on my irthday my guy was like fighting with me on the phone just becos i said he called me late and also there was a time i was with him and a msg came from this girl saying (why are you not picking my call abi se iyawo e o ti lo ni (has your wife not gone ) i ask him who that was and he said its a guy , how can a guy send you a msg and you delete imm , he just shunned me . please help i dont know what to do.



Continuation
i travelled to lagos this week end again to see him, infact i was so suprised that he never received a single call from this lady , actually i did as you nairalanders advised me to do and he said there is nothing between them and i easily accepted but my mind was telling me that something id wrong somewere, for my fiance to stay indoor the whole saturday with out going to see his friend like he does and also not receiving calls from this same bunmi , then i decided to go into his privacy , i pick his phone read his inbox msg and those he sent out but there was nothing there. but he did not really notice that on his phone if you send a msg to someone the delivery report always has the msg you sent , so i went to delivery report that was when i almost fainted when i read the msg he sent to bunmi and i quote ( what is the meaning of that msg you sent to me ? do you normally tell me when you are looking for it.you better look for it well cos am not taking responsibilities and i beleive you must be joking.) when i read this msg i was so mad that i wanted to confront him but my heart told me not to jump to conclusion but nairalander help me cos am confused, am getting married to this guy by end of this year and i wont be able to bear the fact that some one else is carrying his baby

why are you searching thru is phone ? Why get married to someone you don't trust ?

R u sure that you are not re-inventing a nollywood movie, ? Look, its not by force to get married but if u don't trust the guy don't get married yet, give things some time,


Communication is key, so I think you both have a loong way to go in your relationship. btw, how long have you known the lad ? Im confused,

I think you should find a way to sit him down and try ask what the problem seems with him but if he refuse to say anything then keep pretending for some while as if you knew notting i believe b4 2 - 3 weeks time you will still find out the situation as you normal find it and i pray it will be in your favour

@Poster,
Infidelity is a serious crime in matters of the heart.
Break up the engagement and move on with your life.
YOu don't need any other advice.

IFELEKE

Na so but i think that will be hard for her ooo

BEWARE, HE IS CHEATING ON U.I READ UR LAST LETTER THIS MORNING NOW U HAVE WRITTEN THIS ONE. HE IS A CHEAT AND A LIAR. HE IS SUPPOSE TO TELL U THE TRUE BUT HE STILL DENIES.JUST BE URESELF AND BE PATIENTS.THE TRUTH WILL COME OUT ONCE AND FOR ALL.

ma dear,
i read your story with pain, and i have only one advice to give you,
men will ALWAYS cheat, but if he loves and respects you, he will NEVER do it your face.
for him to delete his messages, he respects you,
but you need time to think about this relationship,
tell him that you need time and you re considering moving the wedding forward, tell him to his face that you know bout the girl's pregnancy, if he respects you, he'd lie about it.
give yourselves a break, please try not to communicate with him during this period,
Think and think!
its better to have a broken relationship than a broken marriage.

Read the first part of the story below:

My Guy Has Changed.

@ poster

Sorry to hear this, but make sure you are not jumping to conclusions - confront him and find out what is going on. Without having a discussion about it, do not take any hasty action.

posakosa:

why are you searching thru is phone ? Why get married to someone you don't trust ?

R u sure that you are not re-inventing a nollywood movie, ? Look, its not by force to get married but if u don't trust the guy don't get married yet, give things some time,


Communication is key, so I think you both have a loong way to go in your relationship. btw, how long have you known the lad ? Im confused,

y won't she go thru his phone?D guy is a suspect.anyway,i always advise people 2 know who they r dealin with. @poster--i give u d right 2 dig out more things about him.

Talking abt. communicatn,only one in a million will own up.she needs proof b4 she can confront him.she has 2 do it d hard way.

You can date a guy who cheats and lies if you  can bear the sh^^t but never ever marry a cheat. ( I dont believe in that men will always cheat nonsense, there are still faithful men out there, you just need to take your time girl)

trust issues
have a talk with him & know whats really going on before u make the biggest mistake of your lfe

i replied ur initial post n said bunmi could be de one after ur guy. somebody here said, he deletes d text cos he respects you, also seems bunmi knows very well u both re engaged so she dosent also wants to break the both of you. now since you were able to read d full text msg from delivery report which am not sure about then you should be able to get bunmi's fone no if u re not having it already.

now call her, ask her about the pregnancy, recording the conversation can be an advantage. if she says its ur bf fortcoming baby, then u hv a prove over ur bf, if she says its a lie, she is not pregnant for him, then u have an evidence over her. afteral she has said ealier, that there is nothing btw them. do this wisely and i will be proud of you.

gudlck

thanks for your contribution

i ve decided to confront him when i get to lag this week end
cos i cant lie to you

i am really burning and hurt

its really affecting me at work cant even think straight

confronting him ot not would definately not change the fact that some1 is preg for him if its true,
what i wud advise is that u sit down and think if you reallyu love him enough to want to marry the guy.
if your answer is yes like i believe it is, then marry him and everyother thing will fall in place.

thanks nairalanders

more advice is needed here

@poster
u cant even fink of marrying someone u dont trust.or someone who obviously lies to u. make hay y d sunshines else u reap d consequencies. there r a lot of other faithful men out der.

he is a cheat. 4get about him.

Pls communicate with him and ask, it is important!

wont it be a shame if i call it off becos am getting older, i clock 28 this month and we have alraedy done our introduction and the wediing is near

i know those would be your concern but girl you need to move on with your life , except if you can carry the burden on your shoulder, but for me i cant just accept the fact that someone is pregnant for my to be husband,

wish you best of luck cos this is so hard

Nairalanders, Am very grateful for your advice, i finally confronted him , to my suprise he told me the msg was real but he said the girl only did that because she felt jealous and didn't want to lose him, he said the lady tought she could use that that to scare him but it did not work, she has stop calling him at least for the three days that i spent with him , he never received a call from bunmi

he has apologised and i ve forgiven him but am still scared becos sometin in me still tells me that he is covering up somethings

i need your prayers

Thanks

this story story for a man you want to marry is too much. At this stage in ur relationship with a man u want to marry, u should not have fears of this nature. ure still scared cos something is telling u he is covering up stuff, ure still looking out to make sure one bunmi will not keep calling your fiancee (a girl whose calls are a constant worry to you). is all this not too much? when u marry him what you see take it oh. all the best

never ever make the mistake of marrying dis guy cos u'll alwaz regret it.

u might find it difficult to call it quits but u should just 4get about getting married

to him and distance urself from him little by little.

i hope dis help.

please me i just wan sabi how u take read the whole meaasage from the delivery report!! i fit use the idea

lollydys:

Nairalanders, Am very grateful for your advice, i finally confronted him , to my suprise he told me the msg was real but he said the girl only did that because she felt jealous and didn't want to lose him, he said the lady tought she could use that that to scare him but it did not work, she has stop calling him at least for the three days that i spent with him , he never received a call from bunmi

he has apologised and i ve forgiven him but am still scared becos sometin in me still tells me that he is covering up somethings

i need your prayers

Thanks

i won't pray 4 u.if u think very well,u'll treat it on ur own.this's no case.

The guy's smart.

It's not easy for her to just DUMP and leave the guy just like thaT! haa

please follow your heart
but you need to think twice
so that you will not fall in to wrong hands
cheers.

u 2 aint suppose 2 marry eachother