Nekai:

Loooooool!  

I guess I see your point since you would be doing it out of motivation instead of selfishness. More people should think like this instead of spoiling their kids with everything their hearts desire.

Sagamite:

No.

I am going to preach: "You have to work bloody hard like I did to get this, bloody little brat. I am not giving it to you on a platter. If you want what I get/use, go and pick up your Maths and Physics text book and finish all the Mechanics, Newton Forces , Differentiation and Integration questions at the end of each chapter. Don't look at me with such silly innocent face young man, you are not too young at 6 years old to know the Black–Scholes model, go read up, Arrow!"

Sagamite:

It is unfortunate that most of the parents I see nowadays are destroying their kids with delusions, thinking that is love.

It is a competition between them as in their heads, if you give more and always say yes to your kids anytime you can, then that means you love them more than the next person.

Let everyone in my neighbourhood's kids get chaffeur driven to school and everywhere, if the buses are safe, reliable and reasonably convenient then my kids will take the bus. It never killed me.

Claus:

Like I mentioned before., the best way to teach any child about the value of money (amongst other things) is to lead by example.

An extravagant parent will breed an extravagant child, as long as that is what they observe.

I am pretty sure that when the child actually comes, your parental instincts would give you a different attitude to the child than the one you infer above.


Someone mentioned that Bill Gates wouldn't buy an island for his child. The truth is that Bill Gates is unlikely to buy an island for HIMSELF. From what I know of him, things like that aren't his priority and it is likely that it is the values he has that he will pass on to the kids.

Bill Gates himself came from a wealthy home and has spoken about how his parents used to reward him for being a strong performer in school.

I strongly believe in not spoiling kids and only giving them things that are appropriate for their age. However, deliberate and extreme deprivation e.g. I shop at Gucci for myself, but shop at Primark for my kids is just wrong.

From an expectant parent.

Fhemmmy:

[b]There is nothing and i mean absolutely nothing wrong in you giving a child something that is good for them, if you can afford it . . . however, i am not saying a parent should always say YES to all the demand of a child either, cos you have to let them know what is called responsibility, there is nothing wrong in tell the kid to use her/his own money to buy something of importance to them, so that they will learn how to take better care of that thing, but then, think about it, the pocket money is from who . . .you and me, ofcourse as the parent.

But again, you dont have to because you wanna train them to starve them of important stuff, other kids could be driven to school by a driver and you as a father, could drop yours and dont have to get them a driver, if that is what you want, but not cos you wanna train them, then tell them to walk to take the bus, even though you have the time and the ability to take them there yourself.

These is what i called spending time and bonding, not spoiling a child.[/b]

By the way, looking forward to another day of good discussion with you

Sagamite:

I will always provide my kids with things that are of reasonable quality but I will not provide them with things for vanity.

If my child is starting to think Primark[b] is below him/her[/b], then something is wrong in my upbringing style. I don't know what they have achieved in life to say something is below them.

An extravagant parent will not necessarily breed an extravagant child, an extravagant upbringing might. The ideology and indoctrination you feed a child will have more weight.

Fhemmmy:

What you see as vanity could be of importance in other family.

Sagamite:

These are the questions you need to answer first:

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-266268.32.html#msg8488952

Yesterday is past and i left it where it belongs . . . . . .

Fhemmmy:

Yesterday is past and i left it where it belongs . . . . . .

Sagamite:

I will always provide my kids with things that are of reasonable quality but I will not provide them with things for vanity.

If my child is starting to think Primark[b] is below him/her[/b], then something is wrong in my upbringing style. I don't know what they have achieved in life to say something is below them.

An extravagant parent will not necessarily breed an extravagant child, an extravagant upbringing might. The ideology and indoctrination you feed a child will have more weight.

Claus:

But this points to what I am saying about being an example. If having things for vanity is wrong, then it is wrong in both the parent and the child.

Teaching the child not to have things for vanity while accumulating those things for oneself will just send a confusing message.

A child can only take their cue from their parents. If the parent is happy with Primark for themselves, the child is likely to be the same.

Personally, I'm not one for extravagance, but having provided the basic needs for my child, if I were to reward myself with some little luxuries for my success in work/business, I would see nothing wrong in rewarding my child with little luxuries (appropriate for their age) for their success in the home (e.g. good behaviour, doing chores), or for their success in their academic or other pursuits.

I would not be averse to taking those things away from misbehaving children. I think it will help with the lessons of associating hard work with rewards early on, as opposed to waiting until they themselves can earn money.

Sagamite:

The cue I will give my rascals is:

- "When you want something expensive, you work hard for it"

- "When you work hard, you can afford expensive things if you want them"

- "Only those that have worked hard are entitled to extra-ordinary things in life".

There will be somethings I will bulge on and give into or just use as reward, raising a child is about satisfying "wants" sometimes, but definitely I will not be spoiling them with money because I am a multi-millionaire.

If they come home with all As at A-levels, I might reward with the latest model of Volkswagen Golf, not a red Ferrari. I will drive one though.

Claus:

Sounds reasonable. I hear you. Hoping you heard me too.

Sagamite:

hahahahaha . . . i just like when a Nigerian man refused to bow.

Pot calling the Harrods silverware cutlery black.

Claus:

But this points to what I am saying about being an example. If having things for vanity is wrong, then it is wrong in both the parent and the child.

Teaching the child not to have things for vanity while accumulating those things for oneself will just send a confusing message.

A child can only take their cue from their parents. If the parent is happy with Primark for themselves, the child is likely to be the same.

Personally, I'm not one for extravagance, but having provided the basic needs for my child, if I were to reward myself with some little luxuries for my success in work/business, I would see nothing wrong in rewarding my child with little luxuries (appropriate for their age) for their success in the home (e.g. good behaviour, doing chores), or for their success in their academic or other pursuits.

I would not be averse to taking those things away from misbehaving children. I think it will help with the lessons of associating hard work with rewards early on, as opposed to waiting until they themselves can earn money.

jennykadry:

So because I have kids I should not wear expensive designer clothes(if I can afford them)? that's balderdash.

dayokanu:

I can afford expensive things because I worked hard for them

I would give my kids the basics of life but never would they live on my level.

You mean if I buy a $10,000 watch I should buy them a $2,000 watch? Hell NO

I would make them know that all human beings are at the level of Walmart until you elevate yourself from there, I was in the level of Walmart before I elevated myself through hardwork not because my dad did it for me.

I can invest anything into their education and give them incentives to be succesful, Like Give you a xbox set if you made all A's in your school exams, $50,000 if you can make it to Harvard(Ivy league), Give you $300k if you can make a First class at Harvard

If I can afford it