I've been doing things with humility all my life and people that know me can testify. But with regards to my parent(dad),it is to the contrary. He sees me as arrongant,proud,stubborn and nothing but an ant.

It all started when i started visiting him when i was doing IJMB. Because i have never been living with him. There was one day i wore his slippers (thinking a son can at least do that) he told me if i do that again he will stop paying my school fees. Why that absurd reaction?! So rhetorical for me. Again,he talked about how Europeans bettered Nigeria and i said 'sir,it's not so. ' i gave him the contents of Walter Rodney's how Europe underdeveloped Africa. He said am arguing basic facts with him. That if i dare argue with him again he will stop paying my fee. What i notice is that he always claims to be right. I told him they don't photocopy jamb form that it is the print out that is to be photocopied. Oh my God! See reaction. That what do i know? He passed through all those things,,,,bla bla bla
Countless times he has done it. To make issue worse,it happened again this night from a mere issue.
This frustrates me and i really hate the sentence.
What do you think about it??How can i deal with him and make him change that notion??

The crux of the matter is that you were not "living with him" which would have afforded you the chance of knowing 'who' you dad is. Now at an age you are getting close to him is a time you rather not throw yourself at him without first understudying him to know his likes and dislikes.

Young man he his yr father u don't argue with him or try to interfere wen he is talking

In as much as you still want to get some funds from him towards your education, bro, let sleeping dogs lie cuz you will always have clashes if you continue this way. Act like a dunce whenever he's around and always ask for his view/opinion about anything, this will certainly make him feel like a god and he will see you as someone who reveres him. Mind you, this is just for a while except you've got alternatives.

STOP ARGUING WITH HIM.

Hustle hard, ur still under his care.


ITS HIS HOUSE n HIS RULES.

Sont worry, u'll understand wen u start paying billz.

STOP ARGUING WITH HIM.

Hustle hard, ur still under his care.


ITS HIS HOUSE n HIS RULES.

Dont worry, u'll understand wen u start paying billz.

ParagosPride:
How can i deal with him and make him change that notion??

Did you just type that sh*t?

Sorry is your name.


I'm out.

You haven't been living with him so just ignore his ugly side.or you can just write him a letter,tuck it under his pillow.let him know how it hurts you when he says that.remind him how proud you are to be his son and how he's your rock. Until you notice a change try not to argue with him.

You are not the smart or wise sort.

Stop arguing with him, some fathers are sadists.
Try your best to be somebody and avoid his utterances at all cost.

EfemenaXY:
ParagosPride: Has it crossed your mind that perhaps, your responses / method of communication to your dad might come across as being 'confrontational'? Either way, you don't know him and he doesn't know you. So you both need to start from ground zero.

Efe this font na waya

@OP, you sound like the heady type though. Over sabi and i-too-know , you and your dad are bound to clash often as he seem to posses same traits. You are the son and need him most so you should swallow your pride, get rid of your over-sabi and stoop to conquer.

Olajokefred:
In as much as you still want to get some funds from him towards your education, bro, let sleeping dogs lie cuz you will always have clashes if you continue this way. Act like a dunce whenever he's around and always ask for his view/opinion about anything, this will certainly make him feel like a god and he will see you as someone who reveres him. Mind you, this is just for a while except you've got alternatives.

Thank you. I'll do that

Brandnew2:

Did you just type that sh*t?

Sorry is your name.


I'm out.

i'm sorry but to be sincere your interpreting faculty is low. The 'deal with' simply means 'cope with'.

Chidoks:
You haven't been living with him so just ignore his ugly side.or you can just write him a letter,tuck it under his pillow.let him know how it hurts you when he says that.remind him how proud you are to be his son and how he's your rock. Until you notice a change try not to argue with him.

I'm grateful for this piece of advice!!

ParagosPride:


i'm sorry but to be sincere your interpreting faculty is low. The 'deal with' simply means 'cope with'.

Perhaps you are the one who is unable to communicate effectively.

You could have said "deal with the situation" rather than "deal with him".

I'm even more sorry that you're such a rude slob.

orbitalgis:
You are not the smart or wise sort.

how do u mean that pls?

Brandnew2:

Perhaps you are the one who is unable to communicate effectively.

You could have said "deal with the situation" rather than "deal with him".

I'm even more sorry that you're such a rude slob.

Thanks for that.

I think 'cope with him' and 'cope with the situation' both make sense. But i used the one that is best to me. You have a long way to go.

ParagosPride:


Thanks for that.

I think 'cope with him' and 'cope with the situation' both make sense. But i used the one that is best to me. You have a long way to go.

STFU fool.

The mere fact that you still leave with your dad tells me I'm ahead of you.

Stewpid ass wipe who wants to deal with his dad.

Your dad must have regretted having you.

Fact is your father doesn't see you as a son rather he sees you as another man in other words a "rival". He is eager to prove that he is THE MAN so anything you do that hints of opposition or "raising of shoulder" will set him off. It is the reason he keeps bringing up your school fees, it's a way letting you know you should look up to him.

You have several ways to deal with this. My advice to you is to become a Joseph, let everything that will be done in the house be done by you so much so you become indispensable to him. Also when ever he sends you on errands do it better than he expects. Unless your father is a hard hearted Hitler, this strategy will make him change his attitude towards so much so he himself will not understand what happened. Believe me if you take this advice you will be very happy with the relationship between you and your father.

LordReed:
Fact is your father doesn't see you as a son rather he sees you as another man in other words a "rival". He is eager to prove that he is THE MAN so anything you do that hints of opposition or "raising of shoulder" will set him off. It is the reason he keeps bringing up your school fees, it's a way letting you know you should look up to him.

You have several ways to deal with this. My advice to you is to become a Joseph, let everything that will be done in the house be done by you so much so you become indispensable to him. Also when ever he sends you on errands do it better than he expects. Unless your father is a hard hearted Hitler, this strategy will make him change his attitude towards so much so he himself will not understand what happened. Believe me if you take this advice you will be very happy with the relationship between you and your father.

This is a powerful advice. Thanks so much .

Hmmm

Mine is the worst but he will surely regret his entire actions.

ParagosPride:
I've been doing things with humility all my life and people that know me can testify. But with regards to my parent(dad),it is to the contrary. He sees me as arrongant,proud,stubborn and nothing but an ant.

It all started when i started visiting him when i was doing IJMB. Because i have never been living with him. There was one day i wore his slippers (thinking a son can at least do that) he told me if i do that again he will stop paying my school fees. Why that absurd reaction?! So rhetorical for me. Again,he talked about how Europeans bettered Nigeria and i said 'sir,it's not so. ' i gave him the contents of Walter Rodney's how Europe underdeveloped Africa. He said am arguing basic facts with him. That if i dare argue with him again he will stop paying my fee. What i notice is that he always claims to be right. I told him they don't photocopy jamb form that it is the print out that is to be photocopied. Oh my God! See reaction. That what do i know? He passed through all those things,,,,bla bla bla
Countless times he has done it. To make issue worse,it happened again this night from a mere issue.
This frustrates me and i really hate the sentence.
What do you think about it??How can i deal with him and make him change that notion??

Would he still pay your fees if you stop visiting him? Can you stop visiting him for your own sanity?

stonecoldcafe:


Would he still pay your fees if you stop visiting him? Can you stop visiting him for your own sanity?

yes. I just came for holidays this time around. But i've decided to stop coming for holidays.

ParagosPride:

yes. I just came for holidays this time around. But i've decided to stop coming for holidays.

You'll be fine. Thank goodness he is still doing his bit by sponsoring your education. I am sure its cos you don't live with him hence your lack of understanding.

Another thing you can do is talkless and study him more. Just try to blend with him and even if you don't agree to what he says, just say "okay or I see" as opposed to arguing. Take care.

stonecoldcafe:


You'll be fine. Thank goodness he is still doing his bit by sponsoring your education. I am sure its cos you don't live with him hence your lack of understanding.

Another thing you can do is talkless and study him more. Just try to blend with him and even if you don't agree to what he says, just say "okay or I see" as opposed to arguing. Take care.

ok. Thanks.