Diplomaticbeing:


Thanks once again for your valuable inputs. However, it seemed you didn't understand well my statement about "baby mama". Well, I said I believe in given my very best in anything I believe in. I have highest regard for the institution of marriage and I value women and children so much, therefore when married I will give in more than 100% effort to make it a worthwhile journey. All these facts are the reasons why I am trying so hard to be careful before saying I do.

However, as much as I hold the marriage institution sacrosanct and values children so much, yet I can't afford to live in a toxic relationship, meaning that in case my companion-to-be chooses to suppress her bad traits for now just to get me commit to her and unleashes her irritating attitudes after marriage is consummated that I will not have the patience to stay put in such union. Therefore, I don't believe in the for better for worse marriage mantra. As I have stated in my foremost message, I can be very tolerant and quiet but as a human being I also have my limit and when it elapses I don't give a second chance to a situation. I am just been honest to myself. Once more, thanks.

andromida:
From the way you've described your relationship with this woman I don't think you should proceed. You have no emotional connection with her also you don't have any special affection for her in as much as you have tried to develop it. You might have to let this go. You don't have to settle for a babymama either eventually you will find a woman better suitable to you.

Diplomaticbeing:


The truth is that I don't need your validation to substantiate my claims. And I have to assume you know that freewill doesn't permit immorality. All the same, I am sorry for any derogatory word I used against you,obviously I mistake your flattery for sarcasm.

On the flip side, maybe I will redirect my search for a wife toward your family end. Recommend one of your sister to me. Ke ihe ikwuru?

fem29:


This guy just likes big grammar

LadyFiona:
Na bro, I wrote f@g, the damn spambot changed it. Brain f@g....you know wheezing and whistling and sparking of my brain cells just because of your post. Tune down biko.

Diplomaticbeing:


As you no come gree to teach me well well how I go fit use simpler words, na wetin I go come do na. I go like learn from you. Deal?

fem29:


Lolzzz, u never ready. It's very easy. Instead of saying something like she went to purchase some eggs, say she went to buy eggs .

Diplomaticbeing:


I will only agree that you have forgiven me after you assent to my request. I know that you have them plenty sisters. lol!

XYD2:
The most important thing worth looking for in a partner is if he/she has the love and fear of God. Things like caring, showing love and other stuffs are kind of secondary to me.

Marriage determines ones destiny later in life so you have to be careful. The love and the fear of God of your partner comes first.

Pidggin:
After reading your post I have come to the conclusion that you do not love her, and as such you should look for someone that meets your qualification of a good wife. Call her, sit her down and tell her how you feel about her.

Diplomaticbeing:


Thanks for your observation. However, it seems like you and I shares contrary views of what a sustainable relationship love is in it's entirety. To me, my relationship love is earned not given, and to sustain it one must maintain and renew it almost every other day. I think this explains why one can fall in and out of love. For example, the best way to preserve the freshness of a cooked soup is by freezing it, with this method such soup can stay fresh and retain it's taste even after a week, while the alternative means of preserving a soup is through rewarming it on fire after each cut (those who lives/have lived without electricity and will understand this point clearly) which is the analog means can still preserve the same cooked soup but surely after a day or two it will lose it's freshness and taste.

As far as relationship love is concerned, I don't just love someone without reasons (my own love is not blind), but I do fall in love with one when the right attributes are there. Maybe I have a skewed view of what this relationship love of a thing is all about.

Jeloma:
diplomaticbeing, please you're not being diplomatic at all. Pls edit your post and use understandable words. This is not an English language convention.

Diplomaticbeing:
I have this lady who's illusory know-all nay too clever by half and flawless, rude (ready to disparage one in public for any act one exhibits which she may assumes incorrect due to her uninformed knowledge on such matter), ungrateful (that is when your act of kindness/goodwill toward her is below her expectation - on the contrary, I for one, I hold the principle of "accept" not "expect" anything from anyone, so I believe in giving than in receiving), manipulative, boisterous, pessimistic and sense of entitlement.

[s]However, she possesses the following good traits: caring, swing understanding, feels happy when around one physically or otherwise, this is to say she's pleased to have one in her life (could this mean that she is truly in love with one as she has always claimed), knowledgeable above average level.

Sincerely, I am a strong proponent of the school of thought that the word "love" is ambiguous thus can't stand on it's own and makes no meaning to me without virtues like humbleness, trustworthiness, simplicity and kindness. This simply means that a lady must possess the latter mentioned virtues before I can fall in love with her. Also, my respect is earned not given, therefore for her to command my respect and loyalty a lady must posses these stated virtues. As for trust, I always give it freely to anyone unmerited, but after several betrayal intentionally, when I sever from such person I don't give second chance - I can be quite tolerant. In the other words, I live on reason not emotion and this informed my adoption of irreligious but spiritual world-view and stance.

Now, my question is: can a man of reserved character, sensitive, diplomatic, elusive, reclusive, humble, tolerance, quiet and kind really put up with this kind of lady till the end of one's life? I am talking about marriage. Before now I used to think that what matters most is the happiness of anyone around me, but of late I have started to realize the need for me to have around me someone who will derive happiness being around me and vise versa.

Am I being selfish? Do I have problem? Am I demanding too much for love?

I need honest and unbiased opinions from sane people. I need both negative and positive critics. Thanks all in advance.[/s]

LadyFiona:
You don't have a problem at all. Guys with women hassles don't go about blowing hot grammar like this.
You've just dissected and disemboweled an embodiment/ epitome of Nigerian female gender having perused the first paragraph. Your demeanour accentuated a heightened level of affection malaise that needs to be communicated to the other party not to faceless worldwide web community.

Manage this advice, i wouldve advised further if THIS POST didn't give brain gay already.

Guitarlife:

Not to disparage your contribution tho but I was discussing an issue with a church member today.

It was about another church member whom the husband too had at some time boasted he married her a virgin.

Obviously the lady has the appearance of an "SU" and all but I am yet to meet a woman so bitter in my life.

This woman is a "good" christian and God fearing so to speak but trust me she is very ill mannered and bad tempered.

Always picking up needless fights. Grapevine sources even has it that the husband is already fed up with her nasty behaviour.

The essence of my polemics is to remind you not to fall into that "God fearing" woman scam.

A lot of them just go about with the appearance but are deeply rotten inside by christain standards.

And contary to your naive assertion a potential wife has to be caring, friendly, respectful, resourceful and lastly you as man must be attracted to her physically I mean you must find her sesxy Forget all the speaking in tongues cos you will not be speaking in tongues while sleeping with her otherwise you will find it difficult to maintain an err.ection around her while your d..ick will be jumping up when you encounter other women leading to adultery.

Am sorry if the last paragraph was a bit raw but trust me it could have been worse considering the need to be explanatory so as to drive home the point.

Beware brothers. Beware .

Thanks.

Diplomaticbeing:
.

Eyekandi:


I'm here

Diplomaticbeing:


Dear, I wasn't unaware about your presence here before I requested to have a private discussion with you. Well, if there's no option to reach you privately, then there will be no need for us to further conversation.

Diplomaticbeing:
I have this lady who's illusory know-all nay too clever by half and flawless, rude (ready to disparage one in public for any act one exhibits which she may assumes incorrect due to her uninformed knowledge on such matter), ungrateful (that is when your act of kindness/goodwill toward her is below her expectation - on the contrary, I for one, I hold the principle of "accept" not "expect" anything from anyone, so I believe in giving than in receiving), manipulative, boisterous, pessimistic and sense of entitlement.

However, she possesses the following good traits: caring, swing understanding, feels happy when around one physically or otherwise, this is to say she's pleased to have one in her life (could this mean that she is truly in love with one as she has always claimed), knowledgeable above average level.

Sincerely, I am a strong proponent of the school of thought that the word "love" is ambiguous thus can't stand on it's own and makes no meaning to me without virtues like humbleness, trustworthiness, simplicity and kindness. This simply means that a lady must possess the latter mentioned virtues before I can fall in love with her. Also, my respect is earned not given, therefore for her to command my respect and loyalty a lady must posses these stated virtues. As for trust, I always give it freely to anyone unmerited, but after several betrayal intentionally, when I sever from such person I don't give second chance - I can be quite tolerant. In the other words, I live on reason not emotion and this informed my adoption of irreligious but spiritual world-view and stance.

Now, my question is: can a man of reserved character, sensitive, diplomatic, elusive, reclusive, humble, tolerance, quiet and kind really put up with this kind of lady till the end of one's life? I am talking about marriage. Before now I used to think that what matters most is the happiness of anyone around me, but of late I have started to realize the need for me to have around me someone who will derive happiness being around me and vise versa.

Am I being selfish? Do I have problem? Am I demanding too much for love?

I need honest and unbiased opinions from sane people. I need both negative and positive critics. Thanks all in advance.

You don't have a problem at all. Guys with women hassles don't go about blowing hot grammar like this.
You've just dissected and disemboweled an embodiment/ epitome of Nigerian female gender having perused the first paragraph. Your demeanour accentuated a heightened level of affection malaise that needs to be communicated to the other party not to faceless worldwide web community.

Manage this advice, i wouldve advised further if THIS POST didn't give brain gay already.

Eyekandi:



I see it as rude derailing people's thread, so I brought the issue here in other to give the info you seek. But seeing as you have given up, its fine.

Vikky014:
Law graduate right

Diplomaticbeing:

LOL... Me I be "Vikky014" graduate! I hope you de fine ni.

Diplomaticbeing:

LOL... Me I be "Vikky014" graduate! I hope you de fine ni.

Diplomaticbeing:


OK! No problem. You know, we disagree to agree. Kindly do the needful.

Eyekandi: