Sisi Jinx:

The wives are also bored but they know how to mask it with other things. . . like taking care of the children.

you see why i love thee

yeswecan:

The answer is very simple, that quality that attracted him to his wife is no loner there.  We are moved with what we see woman are suppose to seduce their husband instead of falling back “putting on weight leaving their hairs and nails unkept" they have to realize we meet people everyday,  people with that same quality.

cant remember the book i saw this yrs ago.  the guy said if you want to avoid this  make sure you have God and  marry someone you cant live without.  sadly most of us cant wait and we get stock with people we cant stay 1hr with.

Oh my God. The views i see here!  Is marriage still worth it?

Look eh, if physical attraction is so important, why marry at all? come on, there's always free girls around. why not just  go on sleeping around with d hottest gal u can pick, eh?   I am shocked at what i am seeing here o. I no gbadun.
      Na wa for some comments o:
      Getting tired of sex with d same person, eh?  whilst still craving sex! come on, WAKE UP, it's all in your freaking mind! Forget that mentality that man is like a virile animal, men are NOT! Haba!!!
       A woman shd look good for her hubby but if he cant take her as she is , he can jump into the lagoon.

       I am scared for d future of marriage in dis country o. I no fit shout o,

It happens in most marriages, and like someone said, it's not restricted to the husbands alone. however, it's just a phase and what's important is that either partner (yes, esp the male) doesn't do anything stupid within that period.

men get bored of marriage for a number of reasons:

1. Boring sex: most women become uninterested in sex after a while in marriage. Naturally the man feels she has become insensitive of his needs and gets bored. Sometime he might get tempted to look outside. If everywoman will give her husband good sex, it will go along way to reducing boredom in marriage.

2. Unforgiveness: If you are married, you must be willing expect offences from your partner.And if you are smart , register your disappoinment and forgive him or her without dwelling on it for so long. Try to see how you can help the person. If you don't forgive and try to see the good in your partner, you kill love and gradually become bored.

3. Financial pressure: When men are not able to meet up with their basic responsibilitythey get irritated and start regretting why they got themselves into the "mess of marriage". Ladies should be supportive at such moments and encourage their men instead of putting more pressure on them.

4. work pressure: women should be smart to know that pressure at work can affect the man's behaviour at home. Smart women should know when their husbands are under pressure and try not nag on them at such times. See if you could help him talk about it and assure him that everything is gonna be just fine.

There could be more reasons, but these are the ones i could immediately share.

Goodluck to all of you in marriage. Believe me its really fun if you are willing to work it out.

the honeymoon phase isnt supposed to last forever.

who goes around permanently on cloud 9?

silat:

men get bored of marriage for a number of reasons:

1. Boring sex: most women become uninterested in sex after a while in marriage. Naturally the man feels she has become insensitive of his needs and gets bored. Sometime he might get tempted to look outside. If everywoman will give her husband good sex, it will go along way to reducing boredom in marriage.

2. Unforgiveness: If you are married, you must be willing expect offences from your partner.And if you are smart , register your disappoinment and forgive him or her without dwelling on it for so long. Try to see how you can help the person. If you don't forgive and try to see the good in your partner, you kill love and gradually become bored.

3. Financial pressure: When men are not able to meet up with their basic responsibilitythey get irritated and start regretting why they got themselves into the "mess of marriage". Ladies should be supportive at such moments and encourage their men instead of putting more pressure on them.

4. work pressure: women should be smart to know that pressure at work can affect the man's behaviour at home. Smart women should know when their husbands are under pressure and try not nag on them at such times. See if you could help him talk about it and assure him that everything is gonna be just fine.

There could be more reasons, but these are the ones i could immediately share.

Goodluck to all of you in marriage. Believe me its really fun if you are willing to work it out.

I think u have said it all

silat:

men get bored of marriage for a number of reasons:

1. Boring sex: most women become uninterested in sex after a while in marriage. Naturally the man feels she has become insensitive of his needs and gets bored. Sometime he might get tempted to look outside. If everywoman will give her husband good sex, it will go along way to reducing boredom in marriage.

2. Unforgiveness: If you are married, you must be willing expect offences from your partner.And if you are smart , register your disappoinment and forgive him or her without dwelling on it for so long. Try to see how you can help the person. If you don't forgive and try to see the good in your partner, you kill love and gradually become bored.

3. Financial pressure: When men are not able to meet up with their basic responsibilitythey get irritated and start regretting why they got themselves into the "mess of marriage". Ladies should be supportive at such moments and encourage their men instead of putting more pressure on them.

4. work pressure: women should be smart to know that pressure at work can affect the man's behaviour at home. Smart women should know when their husbands are under pressure and try not nag on them at such times. See if you could help him talk about it and assure him that everything is gonna be just fine.

There could be more reasons, but these are the ones i could immediately share.

Goodluck to all of you in marriage. Believe me its really fun if you are willing to work it out.

Good points, though I'm not too sure of #3. Thats something I believe should have been fully sorted out [i]before [/i]tying the knot

'Most' men are naturally dogs.
No matter how perfect a wife is, there will be something minutely attractive in that other woman.
Good sex, forgiveness, financial stability, no work pressure will just delay the evil day.

Sad but true .

Sorry Astuto.

Because "till death do us apart" is a very long time

XKZ:

Because "till death do us apart" is a very long time

Rotflmao!!!

@ topic

It goes both ways. Wives too get bored.

ifyalways:

Being cold and withdrawn after marriage is a little bit normal.IMO
They are gradually passing through a phase. . . .adjusting to living and sleeping together,7 days a week.I must say communication plays a great role here.
The thrills and fun of dates,seeing each other after a long time etc fades cos they see themselves everyday.The body,soul and mind of the couple are being rudely faced with accepting the fact that they are stuck together for life.
It goes with time,esp when the wife gets preggie.
Note:it does not lead to cheating in any way. . . .if there are cases of cheating then that is another case altogether

Well said,

Hi All,
Know it that every individual is unique ! Hence there will always be a special thing about the other person. Ask King Solomon !   At the end of his adventures he zeroed everything to VANITY.Why chase everything of the opposite sex? Hence every married person must discover these unique qualities in his/her partner and harp on it. My husband told me some days back ' I want to see that GIRL' It got me thinking. YOU ARE SPECIAL, find,nourish and appreciate that person called You  then others will follow.

Most times husbands become bored and take their wives for granted because there is no more CONQUEST! Women WAKE UP! Learn to playgames in ur homes and not fall Yakata to the whimps of the man. Give him reasons to woo you. Yes great reasons to chase u. Ur Life must not be monotonous. Become adventurous,develop new hobbies and your personality for good. Be creative in everything especially in ur cooking and sexual life. Jolt him as he sees a new you. Believe me he would want to be in the know and discover your motivation. Some wives simply stop living and wrap their being around the man and kids. Could be suffocating! Pls make positive friends and grow. Complement his life, be a life wire (a very lively fun-to-be-with person). No one wants to be around a negative,depressed,dirty,nagging or sullen person,
When you lack a good sense of humour and don an iron cast face all the time, he will gladly pay huge amount of money with friends at the next Uncensored Comedy programme without u. Spicen up your home. Keep him guessing as to what to meet in the house. He will keep coming home.
Some make the mistake of having a food roaster,for the kids ok but not the man. Thinking of a food roaster makes me sick. Make meal times fun and not just a routine. Same goes with sex!  Must it be in the bedroom? Ask Isaac if he was in the bedroom with Rebecca when the Kings men saw him with his 'sister'! Some wives make the mistake of not commending their husbands' sexual prowess just to appear decent.The men in turn go out to clear all doubts and regain their confidence,women of cheap virtues abound these days and will willing hyper inflate his ego even when he does not measure up. It is also not a SIN for a wife to make a SERIOUS sexual move. What was she licensed to do?

A wife should also grow with the husband and meet up with these changes as they come.

Adultery is like putting hot coals in ur groin, if u can bear that, then go ahead .

God is our sufficiency, WE CAN BE FAITHFUL TO OUR SPOUSE.

Marriage is worth the effort, don't give up

NB : ASTUTO U R A RARE AND SPECIAL BREED. Wow

The only that I felt could make a man after several years of being single to now think of extra marital affairs after marriage is either lust or lack of happy home cos truly our ladies/women of nowadays are, ?

well, if my partner doesnt get bored of me occasionally then something's wrong, imo.

However, if he's bored all the time then I'm in big trouble. That probably means he's cheating.

and vice versa.

MRbrownJAY:

we all know that some women think of marriage like GOING FISHING and as soon as they got the "big fish" they think that they dont have to do anything any longer. men are no better, they hunt for that "perfect" bride doing some crazy stunts and when they got her, then they lie down and think that all is well. WRONG!!!!!
marriage is like a flower, you have to water it for it to blossom. the same way that people were wooing each other during dating, is the same way they have to try to keep that fire burning by wooing each other AFTER marriage, years after years. as hard as it may seem, if you dont do fun stuff together, if you dont take care of your appearance, if you dont spice things up in the bedroom, if you dont try to seduce you partner then that relationship is bound to go downhill.

perfect, just frigging perfect
nice work, u hit the nail on the head

always complaining
very nagging
not sexual adventurous (Same ole back position)
very jealous, every woman is a potential threat
stop care about their appearances after they get the ring (get fat, bad hair day, ashy feet)

However, let's not divorce them, they just need reprogramming.

MRbrownJAY:

we all know that some women think of marriage like GOING FISHING and as soon as they got the "big fish" they think that they dont have to do anything any longer. men are no better, they hunt for that "perfect" bride doing some crazy stunts and when they got her, then they lie down and think that all is well. WRONG!!!!!
marriage is like a flower, you have to water it for it to blossom. the same way that people were wooing each other during dating, is the same way they have to try to keep that fire burning by wooing each other AFTER marriage, years after years. as hard as it may seem, if you dont do fun stuff together, if you dont take care of your appearance, if you dont spice things up in the bedroom, if you dont try to seduce you partner then that relationship is bound to go downhill.

Sometimes I wonder about you men. Must every problem in marriage originate fromt he bedroom?
Somes I begin to think that marriage is about spicing things up inthe bedroom.
No, problem might be more emotional that the physical.

Possible she changed after she caught her fish, yes.
And he might also have stopped courting her and pleasing her as he used to.
Change in attitude, Change in expression and change in characteristics might be the case here.

Akuviv:

Hi All,
Know it that every individual is unique ! Hence there will always be a special thing about the other person. Ask King Solomon !   At the end of his adventures he zeroed everything to VANITY.Why chase everything of the opposite sex? Hence every married person must discover these unique qualities in his/her partner and harp on it. My husband told me some days back ' I want to see that GIRL' It got me thinking. YOU ARE SPECIAL, find,nourish and appreciate that person called You  then others will follow.

Most times husbands become bored and take their wives for granted because there is no more CONQUEST! Women WAKE UP! Learn to playgames in ur homes and not fall Yakata to the whimps of the man. Give him reasons to woo you. Yes great reasons to chase u. Ur Life must not be monotonous. Become adventurous,develop new hobbies and your personality for good. Be creative in everything especially in ur cooking and sexual life. Jolt him as he sees a new you. Believe me he would want to be in the know and discover your motivation. Some wives simply stop living and wrap their being around the man and kids. Could be suffocating! Pls make positive friends and grow. Complement his life, be a life wire (a very lively fun-to-be-with person). No one wants to be around a negative,depressed,dirty,nagging or sullen person,
When you lack a good sense of humour and don an iron cast face all the time, he will gladly pay huge amount of money with friends at the next Uncensored Comedy programme without u. Spicen up your home. Keep him guessing as to what to meet in the house. He will keep coming home.
Some make the mistake of having a food roaster,for the kids ok but not the man. Thinking of a food roaster makes me sick. Make meal times fun and not just a routine. Same goes with sex!  Must it be in the bedroom? Ask Isaac if he was in the bedroom with Rebecca when the Kings men saw him with his 'sister'! Some wives make the mistake of not commending their husbands' sexual prowess just to appear decent.The men in turn go out to clear all doubts and regain their confidence,women of cheap virtues abound these days and will willing hyper inflate his ego even when he does not measure up. It is also not a SIN for a wife to make a SERIOUS sexual move. What was she licensed to do?

A wife should also grow with the husband and meet up with these changes as they come.

Adultery is like putting hot coals in ur groin, if u can bear that, then go ahead .

God is our sufficiency, WE CAN BE FAITHFUL TO OUR SPOUSE.

Marriage is worth the effort, don't give up

NB : ASTUTO U R A RARE AND SPECIAL BREED. Wow

Well said!!!

They need reprogramming and upgrading like old 386 boxes??

Some of the husbands who get bored do not understand the true meaning of marriage.

lack of update informations about modern sex styles by married women can get the man bored,u had better accept this truth and stop him from going to those chicks who knows their onions when it comes to sex; because it plays a vital role in marriage!.

The truth is that most couples become complacent after marriage as if that is the end on itself.A lot of people becomes careless with themselves after wedding,forgetting that there are certain things that were guaranting the spark during courtship and dating period .Most ladies belive that after babies they don't need to keep the sexy shape that was always spanking interet from the man and most men too belief going out with their wives is no longer interesting.Bottomline is that all the good,loving,caring things that were being done begin to take backstage and naturally the interest and feeling also dwindles,hence the need and search for away matches as the case may be.Let all lovers marry their friends,someone with common interest and view on life ,that way they can weather the storm together and will be asking for more forever and ever ,

Akuviv:

Hi All,
Know it that every individual is unique ! Hence there will always be a special thing about the other person. Ask King Solomon !   At the end of his adventures he zeroed everything to VANITY.Why chase everything of the opposite sex? Hence every married person must discover these unique qualities in his/her partner and harp on it. My husband told me some days back ' I want to see that GIRL' It got me thinking. YOU ARE SPECIAL, find,nourish and appreciate that person called You  then others will follow.

Most times husbands become bored and take their wives for granted because there is no more CONQUEST! Women WAKE UP! Learn to playgames in ur homes and not fall Yakata to the whimps of the man. Give him reasons to woo you. Yes great reasons to chase u. Ur Life must not be monotonous. Become adventurous,develop new hobbies and your personality for good. Be creative in everything especially in ur cooking and sexual life. Jolt him as he sees a new you. Believe me he would want to be in the know and discover your motivation. Some wives simply stop living and wrap their being around the man and kids. Could be suffocating! Pls make positive friends and grow. Complement his life, be a life wire (a very lively fun-to-be-with person). No one wants to be around a negative,depressed,dirty,nagging or sullen person,
When you lack a good sense of humour and don an iron cast face all the time, he will gladly pay huge amount of money with friends at the next Uncensored Comedy programme without u. Spicen up your home. Keep him guessing as to what to meet in the house. He will keep coming home.
Some make the mistake of having a food roaster,for the kids ok but not the man. Thinking of a food roaster makes me sick. Make meal times fun and not just a routine. Same goes with sex!  Must it be in the bedroom? Ask Isaac if he was in the bedroom with Rebecca when the Kings men saw him with his 'sister'! Some wives make the mistake of not commending their husbands' sexual prowess just to appear decent.The men in turn go out to clear all doubts and regain their confidence,women of cheap virtues abound these days and will willing hyper inflate his ego even when he does not measure up. It is also not a SIN for a wife to make a SERIOUS sexual move. What was she licensed to do?

A wife should also grow with the husband and meet up with these changes as they come.

Adultery is like putting hot coals in ur groin, if u can bear that, then go ahead .

God is our sufficiency, WE CAN BE FAITHFUL TO OUR SPOUSE.

Marriage is worth the effort, don't give up

NB : ASTUTO U R A RARE AND SPECIAL BREED. Wow

clap for yourself ma'am.  kpa kpa kpakpa kpa.
well done.  affairs are not worth it.  the heart you break may just be your own.

Women looks older than men of the same age or even men thats 6 yrs older years after marriage. I think most men couldnt cope with it.

Shocked 4 real?? . . .wel if such happens . . In a situation llik that i wud say it's a case of a loveless Marriage Undecided scratchin head

@Ziggy mama

1. I completely agree with you on your opinion, infact am impressed, cus my suspicion is that most people can't seem to understand the basic fact about marriage.

2. The issue of love is likewise something i have also been struggling with and hence something that has been influencing my relationships with women and whether or not i enter a relationships or take any relationship to the next stage.

3. As a man i understand that we men tend to operate based on 3 factors which are listed:

   - Lust
   - Beauty
   - Love

Lust
Any sincere man would tell you that   he has once fantasied about "tapping that ass" of some women (even though he does not particularly even like them talkless of love them), just for the simple reason that he lusts after them either for their boobies or backies or both. Unfortunately, what then happens in most cases is that majority of men get so engrossed in tapping the ass that they lie to themselves and the woman in question that they love her, when in reality what they love is the sex and the adrenaline rush of chasing after her to tap that ass. Thus such men end up agreeing to marriage based on lust. Unfortunately such marriages are bound to fail and become prisons because sooner or later that man is going to lust after something else. Hence that is why boredom starts to creep in such marriages.

Beauty
Women really have to understand that Men are natural born Hunters, most men would do or say anything to catch their prey. In some cases due to multiple personality disorders, those men would actually sincerely mean everthing they say (the hunting instinct makes even the man beleive his own words). However those things being said are as a result of the natural instinct of men as hunters.
Thus in consequence some men are just after trophy wives based on beauty  , hence once the marriage has been concluded, some of those men tend to feel that the mission has been accomplished (because the trophy wife has been hooked), hence gradually the attraction and satisfaction of being married to her starts to ebb away. Hence the boredom starts to gradually creep into such a marriage.

Love
Love is a difficult thing to quantify for a man (hence it takes time/circumstances to ascertain) because our joysticks and eyes tend to muddle up our reasoning and heart (hence why a man would still have sex with a woman that is much less beautiful compared to his wife).
My opinion is that it takes maturity, sincerity and desire not to rush into sex for a man to actually determine who he loves and who he does not.
The truth is that if there is love in marriage there would be no cheating, because the love would overwhelm the urge to cheat. Hence @Ziggy mama dat is actually the reason why i support your reasoning.

--------------------------

True love exists when Love factor supercedes, controls and overwhelms the other Lust and Beauty factors in we men.

Infact personally, though i wish to be married to a woman who is a freak in bed (the Lust factor part of me  ), who is beautiful according to my own personal preferences (the Beauty factor part of me ) nevertheless I have learnt to put myself underself control so much so that marriage would only be an option if and only if I can say with 100% certainty that I really love the lady in question independent of lust and beauty.

--------------------------

Personally as a man I also suffer from the problem of confusion between lust, beauty and love, however one way i have come to tackle it is to be as truthful with myself at all times. Settling down to ask myself simple but painful questions about me and about the woman in question so that i can determine the answer to the question why:

- Though i might find a woman attractive, yet i would not even bother to ask her out simply because i realise that though i might be attracted to her based on beauty and lust, yet i don't think i actually love her.

------------------------

Love takes time to develop (i have come to learn this personally), hence my policy and advice is to try and be casual friends first (without starting a romantic relationship) for a longtime to test whether there is love or lust.

-------------------------
One mistake I pray never to make is the mistake of ending up married to a woman I don't love.

No2Atheism:

@Ziggy mama

1. I completely agree with you on your opinion, infact am impressed, cus my suspicion is that most people can't seem to understand the basic fact about marriage.

2. The issue of love is likewise something i have also been struggling with and hence something that has been influencing my relationships with women and whether or not i enter a relationships or take any relationship to the next stage.

3. As a man i understand that we men tend to operate based on 3 factors which are listed:

   - Lust
   - Beauty
   - Love

Lust
Any sincere man would tell you that   he has once fantasied about "tapping that ass" of some women (even though he does not particularly even like them talkless of love them), just for the simple reason that he lusts after them either for their boobies or backies or both. Unfortunately, what then happens in most cases is that majority of men get so engrossed in tapping the ass that they lie to themselves and the woman in question that they love her, when in reality what they love is the sex and the adrenaline rush of chasing after her to tap that ass. Thus such men end up agreeing to marriage based on lust. Unfortunately such marriages are bound to fail and become prisons because sooner or later that man is going to lust after something else. Hence that is why boredom starts to creep in such marriages.

Beauty
Women really have to understand that Men are natural born Hunters, most men would do or say anything to catch their prey. In some cases due to multiple personality disorders most men would actually sincerely mean everthing they say. However those things being said are as a result of the natural instinct of men as hunters.
Thus in consequence some men are just after trophy wives based on beauty  , hence once the marriage has been concluded, some of those men tend to feel that the mission has been accomplished (because the trophy wife has been hooked), hence gradually the attraction and satisfaction of being married to her starts to ebb away. Hence the boredom starts to gradually creep into such a marriage.

Love
Love is a difficult thing to quantify for a man, hence it takes time and circumstances to actual be sure and also because our joysticks and eyes tend to muddle up our reasoning and heart (hence why a man would still have sex with a woman that is much less beautiful compared to his wife).
My opinion is that it takes maturity, sincerity and desire not to rush into sex for a man to actually determine who he loves and who he does not.
The truth is that if there is love in marriage there would be no cheating, because the love would overwhelm the urge to cheat. Hence @Ziggy mama dat is actually the reason why i support your reasoning.

--------------------------

True love exists when Love factor supercedes, controls and overwhelms the other Lust and Beauty factors in we men.

Infact personally, though i wish to be married to a woman who is a freak in bed (the Lust factor part of me  ), who is beautiful according to my own personal preferences (the Beauty factor part of me ) nevertheless I have learnt to put myself underself control so much so that marriage would only be an option if and only if I can say with 100% certainty that I really love the lady in question independent of lust and beauty.

--------------------------

Personally as a man I also suffer from the problem of confusion between lust, beauty and love, however one way i have come to tackle it is to be as truthful with myself at all times. Settling down to ask myself simple but painful questions about me and about the woman in question so that i can determine the answer to the question why:

- Though i might find a woman attractive, yet i would not even bother to ask her out simply because i realise that though i might be attracted to her based on beauty and lust, yet i don't think i actually love her.

------------------------

Love takes time to develop (i have come to learn this personally), hence my policy and advice is to try and be casual friends first (without starting a romantic relationship) for a longtime to test whether there is love or lust.

-------------------------
[size=18pt]One mistake I pray never to make is to never be married to a woman I don't love[/size].

dont go pregnanting woman you will be black mailed or forced to marry. marry only people you respect and know you cant live without. marriage is hard work

JJYOU:

dont go pregnanting woman you will be black mailed or forced to marry. marry only people you respect and know you cant live without. marriage is hard work

@JJYOU,

I think you are mistaken me for someone else,

As a matter of personal policy, I don't sleep around, hence impromptu pregnancy can't happen to women cus of me, unless its possible to email sperm.

No2Atheism:

@JJYOU,

I think you are mistaken me for someone else,

As a matter of personal policy, I don't sleep around, hence impromptu pregnancy can't happen to women cus of me, unless its possible to email sperm.

i was giving solution to the problem u waz praying never to face.

@ topic,

becuz the wives get boring!

'Change' the inevitable the woman might be doing what her husband is not use to before,the shock of absorbing such can create boredom and vice versa. marriage is a Big Institution where no one has ever graduates,though some drop out (Divorce)

the answer is to keep your spouse guessing. never be predictable & he/she will keep wondering what you are up to

@ beneli (m)

I really appreciate your submission and professional presentation. God bless you. Nairaland need moreof you. Thanks.