Falling in love is a sweet thing, but maintaining that love is a task many cannot cope with because of so many issues. Read this revealing piece to know the things you must do and avoid to save your relationship.


 
The talk of love is never an easy thing. When love is true, it lasts for life. Such love is very rare. However, if you are in love and wish to maintain it, it is pertinent that you look at these points to know what might go wrong in your relationship.
 
• Lust: Are you in love or in lust? When someone is in lust and not in love, he/she will eventually force his/her way out of the relationship when they get what they want. Lust lasts for a while; it is like the dew. It is here in the morning and disappears before noon. People fall out of love because they never were in love in the first place. It was lust that lead them all through. When they get what they want, they come to the realization that it wasn't really worth it after all. Lust is one of the most known reasons why people fall out of love. Was it even love in the first place? No!

• Health problems: This is another important reason why people fall out of love. When one of the partners is facing a health disability which wasn't there at the inception of the relationship, can lead some to become detached from their partners and act indifferent when their sexual needs are not satisfied. Such health problems which could stop one partner from fulfilling some of the vital relationship needs can be a reason why many fall out of love. Some go to the extent of finding someone outside the relationship or marriage who is fit enough to fit in. When a health problem limits the ability of a partner to perform, it becomes a burden on the relationship. Only persons who have a peculiar understanding of life, will hang around even when the journey gets tough.
 
• Incompatibility: When people do not share same ideas, lifestyles and values, it tends to bring problems. They fight at every topic, curse, bicker and abuse each other at almost everything at sight. When couples do not share same thing in common, it brings a bridge and might become an excuse to fall out of love. If people are not compatible, it brings problems if not well handled. Some go on to pursue lifestyles very different or opposite to the kind of life their partners live. This in turn breeds disharmony, friction, loneliness and deprivation thus leading some to do things that they may not have thought of if the situation was right.
 
• Relationship built on wrong foundation: When a relationship is concocted for the wrong reasons, people always fall out after a short time. For example, when someone is in it for financial gains or for the s*x. S/he will later find out that such wealth doesn't exist or that the sex isn't as great as she or he envisioned it, the person will certainly have reservations and fall out of love.
 
• Betrayal: When a partner has been maligned or betrayed and emotions trampled on the floor, he or she is bound to fall out of love. If not sooner, then later. Betrayal of love is one of the major reasons people fall out of love. The thought to get even can fuel one's feelings to do the unthinkable.
 
• When boundaries are not defined: When a relationship is not defined as to what is expected and limits not set as to where it will lead, many people consider it as opportunity to still explore. Some still use that as an opportunity or excuse to still play around. Defining a relationship and making reachable targets will go a long way in strengthening it. But when that is not defined, people fall out of love easily when one partner must have knowingly or unknowingly engaged in a conduct not suitable for a serious relationship.
 
• No communication: Communications is a very important aspect of any relationship. The absence of it brings a bridge. When people don't communicate consistently in a relationship, when there is absence of closeness, great rapport and freedom to express oneself without being shouted down at, the love tends to die a natural death. When two people in a relationship do not have an open channel of communication, it becomes a big problem and an opportunity to follow another course which might not be acceptably in the eyes of his/her partner. Effective communication is important for any relationship to thrive.
 
• Distance: Long-distance can affect a relationship when mechanisms are not put in place to meet, interact and share in each other's feeling. Distance can be a barrier and make people fall out of love when they cannot see the ones they love. Nowadays, the internet and social media is the cheapest means of constant and easy communication channel serious couples who are distant from each other can explore. It can help save a relationship.
 
• Conflict: Fight, quarrels, insults and violence can make someone run away from a difficult relationship or even fall out of love. When someone is constantly harassed, beaten, verbally abused, manhandled and disrespected, such an individual will find ways to leave and thus that will open the door for falling out of love. Conflict is not good for any relationship. Avoid it like a plague.
 
• Dishonesty and grudges: No one wants to be with someone dishonest. A dishonest person is a minus to anyone and will surely bring disaster in any relationship. Dishonest people who engage in illicit affairs and thus bring problems, diseases and disaster to themselves and their innocent partners do not add anything to a relationship. AVOID SUCH PEOPLE AND DON'T WORK YOURSELF OUT THINKING THAT YOU CAN CHANGE THEM. When such is found out, it makes the disheartened partner ill which might lead to harbouring grudges that can never be healed by time. At the long run, they end up with fights every now and then. This could lead one to match out of love.
 
Love is a sweet thing when served with all sincerity. But, the following listed setbacks should guide us for the better.
 
Written by Alexander Thandi Ubani
A Poet, Creative Writer and an Editor with
Tori.ng
Follow on twitter @thandiubani

http://www.tori.ng/news/14747/hot-10-simple-reasons-people-fall-out-of-love.html

If you ever fall out of love with someone, then you never loved the person from the beginning.
It's as simple as that.

If you know what love truly is, you will know the truth behind the statement: "Love never fails."

Actually, love is a complex thing.
It is very possible to fallout of love with someone you once loved. It's simple - if the person you love stops doing most of the things that attracted you to him or her, and if the person starts maltreating you or making you feel worthless and unloved, falling out of love becomes very possible. That's how love works.

Thandiubani:
Actually, love is a complex thing.
It is very possible to fallout of love with someone you once loved. It's simple - if the person you love stops doing most of the things that attracted you to him or her, and if the person starts maltreating you or making you feel worthless and unloved, falling out of love becomes very possible. That's how love works.

U see?
That's where ur reasoning about this matrer is flawed.
Love is not based on certain conditions.
Attraction is very different from love.

Love is more sublime and much deeper than what you're talking about here.

And it never fails.

It has nothing to do with sex.
It has nothing to do with romance.

It is an amazing thing all by itself.
And the bottomline is, if it fails, it was never love.

nobilis:


U see?
That's where ur reasoning about this matrer is flawed.
Love is not based on certain conditions.
Attraction is very different from love.

Love is more sublime and much deeper than what you're talking about here.

And it never fails.

It has nothing to do with sex.
It has nothing to do with romance.

It is an amazing thing all by itself.
And the bottomline is, if it fails, it was never love.

We all know that love is not sex and it has everything to do with romance - yes, romance is very important. Romance here refers to doing those things that can make your relationship better. Things like going on a date, buying her gifts, writing her good poems, spending time together etc. If you can't make your woman feel loved, forget it.

Love can't thrive on mere wishes and hotair. If you do things the opposite way, don't expect love to stick around. You can't be beating your woman, cheating on her, denying her food and money and still expect the love to be intact.

No matter how you look at it, for love to thrive, it has to be sustained. You must do things that will accommodate it.
That's why married people are told to do the things they did while wooing their women. You don't just careless about your woman and wait for madam love to still be there. Mbanu!

You have to change your understanding of what love is and how it thrives.
You can love someone and lose that love if the person change from what you use to know.
That's how it is!

Thandiubani:


We all know that love is not sex and it has everything to do with romance - yes, romance is very important. Romance here refers to doing those things that can make your relationship better. Things like going on a date, buying her gifts, writing her good poems, spending time together etc. If you can't make your woman feel loved, forget it.

Love can't thrive on mere wishes and hotair. If you do things the opposite way, don't expect love to stick around. You can't be beating your woman, cheating on her, denying her food and money and still expect the love to be intact.

No matter how you look at it, for love to thrive, it has to be sustained. You must do things that will accommodate it.
That's why married people are told to do the things they did while wooing their women. You don't just careless about your woman and wait for madam love to still be there. Mbanu!

You have to change your understanding of what love is and how it thrives.
You can love someone and lose that love if the person change from what you use to know.
That's how it is!

You have still not gotten the point.
If you cheat repeatedly and unrepentantly on your partner, u don't love him/her.
If you deny your wife money or whatever as you put it, then u do not love her.

All those things you're mentioning are the actions that make love come to life.
Love is not an abstract term as you may think I'm trying to interpret.

The things u do (in the name of love) are what love is all about.
Not the word but the actions.

So understand my point.

11. Money is finished