Good day fellow NL, I would like to get good advice concerning this situation in my family.

A friend's younger sister got impregnated for a guy who she claimed she love, ( i hav not seening or heard from the guy) and she moved into the guy's house without our parents' consent. It all started when she travelled to lagos to see one of our relatives for a visit and to returned back after the fetive period.

Story changed when His younger one phoned that she got a nice job she is doing and that she will like to stay there and continune with the Job which his parent agreed based on she was doing nothing before her visit to Lagos. As things were, calls were placed tro to our relatives who confirmed she is working now, and this made my parents to relax. Uknownly to us that she has found a new lover and the love has made her move into the guy's apartment.

It around June she came home with some one who she introduced to my parent as her husband to be. The guy was asked for the reason for his visit. After talks and talks the guy returned back to base (lagos) and unknowly to us that my younger sister is already pregnant for him and has moved to his apratment, since this incedent, the guy has refused to come back to see his parent, and his younger one is already living him illegally.

What should I do as d first born, because my parents dont want me to be involved, they even bar me from getting the guys contact and warned me not to make any communication to them, my father has bin calling them and there promised they will come but hasnt, and the guy himself is not showing any sign of concern even my sister, (this situation is like puting the family into a tight corner). what will be your advice in this situation, thx you.

Reading

Congrats on your elevation to being a brother to a prospective baby mama. At least, that's what is in vogue now. Meanwhile, this calls for diplomacy in handling of the situation. Get close to your sister and possibly the guy to know their next step. The guy may be a good guy after all and only being hindered by finance to carry ou e necessary marriage rites.

Dt grama hard die to read

I can imagine your pain but 4 a case like this, the best thing is to stay off it like your Parents advised.

Oyind17:
Reading

my sister say something.

Oyibo don suffer

Ur sista has got her life to live, if she decides to be a disgrace to herself, allow her..

I tell my siblings anyone who decides to be a disgrace is good to go but don't come crying..

The only thing u can do is to really speak to ur sister nd find out why the delay of them coming over..

this one is difficult.
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There is absolutely nothing you can do. And since You cant marry her, kindly Let her be. Some day she will come around, she'll come back to her senses. pray it wont be too late though

warrior01:
Congrats on your elevation to being a brother to a prospective baby mama.

.
Does this statement have any meaning in context to what the poster said?
How does a guy go from being a brother to a prospective baby mama?

@OP, you didn't say how old your sister is. Provided she is 18 and above, then there's very little you can do, but hope and pray the guy she has pitched tent with is at least responsible and willing to stand by her, and eventually marry her. His not forthcoming at this stage points to the fact that he is not financially ready for that big leap yet.
I think his coming to see your parents and getting introduced by your sister as his future husband shows that he is at least serious to an extent.
When girls get bitten by the love bug, the last thing you should expect is for them to act or think rationally.

Cholls:
my sister say something.

Watin you want make I talk?

Tell your sister that Gaborone sends her Christmas greetings, and also says to tell her that a man would never respect a woman he married on credit.

Don't forget to tell her also that she is helping 'her husband-to-be' disrespect the man that fathered her. And then, drum it into her ears that what is acceptable by God, society and common sense is for a man to honour a girl's father and indeed, family, by marrying her properly, before he is allowed to get all the goodies she has to offer. As it stands now, she is offering all her womanly services to the guy pro bono, and more often than not, women who give cheerfully like that live to regret it.

Once again, remind her to stop helping the guy disrespect her father and the family as a whole. By so doing, she will also save herself disrespect from the guy in future. In summary, tell her to move out of that house, pregnant or not, till he pays her bride price.

Thank you.

Oyind17:

Watin you want make I talk?

my sister i believe you can advice her to mind her business.

Cholls:
my sister i believe you can advice her to mind her business.

Lol, I just dey observe

How is the situation putting ur family in tight corner? If she's old enough to make decisions then let her be and wish her well, just face your life and pray for her

whirlwind7:
.
Does this statement have any meaning in context to what the poster said?
How does a guy go from being a brother to a prospective baby mama?

@OP, you didn't say how old your sister is. Provided she is 18 and above, then there's very little you can do, but hope and pray the guy she has pitched tent with is at least responsible and willing to stand by her, and eventually marry her. His not forthcoming at this stage points to the fact that he is not financially ready for that big leap yet.
I think his coming to see your parents and getting introduced by your sister as his future husband shows that he is at least serious to an extent.
When girls get bitten by the love bug, the last thing you should expect is for them to act or think rationally.

Please, I implore you to strictly mind your business. If getting to have a new niece or nephew is not an elevation in your household, it is to others that value human life. Only God knows how many babies your likes have aborted or murdered. Tufiakwa!

Like how old is your sister? If she's 30 and terribly in need of a husband, then there is nothing you can do about it o

But if she's 20/21. Then you are right to worry for her. Try to pay them a visit at least to know where she is putting her life.
Let her realize she has a family that loves and cares for her.

That all men that one is not legally 'given' to is just a potential armed robber.
Ready to steal your future, your innocence, your youthfulness, your grace.

You are trying as a brother jare.

There's little you can do at this stage.Young girls that are not guided and get bitten by the love bug only come around when it has cleared from their eyes.
Pay them a visit just to know where she is staying and that all is well.

Nobody has asked for your help so don't force it. If you feel like calling your sister, do it. It will only be fruitful if you are close and she trusts you.

warrior01:


Please, I implore you to strictly mind your business. If getting to have a new niece or nephew is not an elevation in your household, it is to others that value human life. Only God knows how many babies your likes have aborted or murdered. Tufiakwa!

sharap

Gaborone:
Tell your sister that Gaborone sends her Christmas greetings, and also says to tell her that a man would never respect a woman he married on credit.

Don't forget to tell her also that she is helping 'her husband-to-be' disrespect the man that fathered her. And then, drum it into her ears that what is acceptable by God, society and common sense is for a man to honour a girl's father and indeed, family, by marrying her properly, before he is allowed to get all the goodies she has to offer. As it stands now, she is offering all her womanly services to the guy pro bono, and more often than not, women who give cheerfully like that live to regret it.

Once again, remind her to stop helping the guy disrespect her father and the family as a whole. By so doing, she will also save herself disrespect from the guy in future. In summary, tell her to move out of that house, pregnant or not, till he pays her bride price.

Thank you.

Gbam! You don talk ham finish, "he who have ears should hear what the spirit is sayn"

My observation; the guy no too gbadun ur sister , she is really giving herself to this guy nd trap him down with pregnancy. I shake head for our ladies .

Whn this guy go wed the love of his life, chai! Her eyes go open to 500 watt!

I don't know the extent to which you value family. Your family has been disrespected and dishonoured.

You need to restore Respect and Honour back to your family by wackin the guy responsible for this disgrace.

Chubhie:
I don't know the extent to which you value family. Your family has been disrespected and dishonoured.

You need to restore Respect and Honour back to your family by wackin the guy responsible for this disgrace.

"Restoring of honour and shiits" you must be from Pakistan bro .

LadyFiona:
"Restoring of honour and shiits" you must be from Pakistan bro .

More like the Sicilians cos the pakistanis would decapitate the guy and then stone their sister.

If she's in her 30s, then be patient. You might be surprised theyve done court marriage , while waiting for the delivery of the baby before coming for trad marriage and possibly white wedding.. We've seen a lot where the bride mistakenly or knowingly get pregnant , the marriage rites and everything is done before she puts to bed.. On the day of delivery, complications from nowhere will arise, and God forbid, she could lost the baby through complications..
We've seen a lot like that...

So for the safety of both mum and baby, pls be patient , they are both consenting adults, let them be...but keep communicating with her, after delivery, hopefully the guy will do the needful..

Chubhie:
More like the Sicilians cos the pakistanis would decapitate the guy and then stone their sister.

Oh my bad. Sicilians like the mafians/ Italians?
I think it will work.

LadyFiona:
Oh my bad. Sicilians like the mafians/ Italians?
I think it will work.

They value family more than anything. I'm old skool and would gladly spill blood for family.

xpirence:
Good day fellow NL, I would like to get good advice concerning this situation in my family.

My younger sister got impregnanted for a guy who she claimed she love, ( i hav not seening or heard from the guy) and she moved into the guy's house without our parents' consent. It all started when she travelled to lagos to see one of our relatives for a visit and to returned back after the fetive period.

Story changed when my younger one phoned that she got a nice job she is doing and that she will like to stay there and continune with the Job which my parent agreed based on she was doing nothing before her visit to Lagos. As things were, calls were placed tro to our relatives who confirmed she is working now, and this made my parents to relax. Uknownly to us that she has found a new lover and the love has made her move into the guy's apartment.

It around June she came home with some one who she introduced to my parent as her husband to be. The guy was asked for the reason for his visit. After talks and talks the guy returned back to base (lagos) and unknowly to us that my younger sister is already pregnant for him and has moved to his apratment, since this incedent, the guy has refused to come back to see my parent, and my younger one is already living him illegally.

What should I do as d first born, because my parents dont want me to be involved, they even bar me from getting the guys contact and warned me not to make any communication to them, my father has bin calling them and there promised they will come but hasnt, and the guy himself is not showing any sign of concern even my sister, (this situation is like puting the family into a tight corner). what will be your advice in this situation, thx you.

Allow ur sister nah.do u want to go and drag her out since she is already preg. there is nothing u can do abt it so long as she wasnt raped or jazzed

Op your sister has turned herself to free wife. She doesn't know that being pregnant for the man doesn't mean he will marry her.

Your parents should get her out of the guys house if possible and let the guy do the right thing even if its just bride price he can pay, let him pay (depending on her tribe though).



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