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I Am In A Dilemma - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Help Am In A Dilemma Now. / The Dilemma Of Inter-tribal Marriage / I Am In A Dilemma. I Don't Want To Be A Baby Mama (2) (3) (4)

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Re: I Am In A Dilemma by helphelp: 11:29pm On Dec 17, 2015
You plain stupid bro
Re: I Am In A Dilemma by ifewunmy(f): 11:29pm On Dec 17, 2015
idontaya:
Please guys come to my rescue....

This is centered around two female which i do not want to loose but have to select one to marry. Here goes...

I met these ladies around the same period, i asked Labake out and after the initial gra gra she accepted to date me. thing are getting serious now that i had to ask her certain questions... She has been into business for like 6 years and when i asked what was her savings from the biz she said NOTHING. I asked the reason and she said debts and some other excuses. In short she has no savings and told me to my face i am providing all she will be needing in marriage, relocating her shop from one town to where i am and other things even to her sanitary towels! What is annoying me is that have i now offended the gods that i want to marry her and there taking over her liabilities (her body being the only asset)! I do not have a problem meeting these needs but she has to meet up at some point which she cannot do! I just like/love her i dont know why despite these liability. I would advise u do not go for the first lady because she might end up becoming a liability and for the other lady,she is an asset,but talking about love...it is more than just chemistry,it is a decision but give urself time,u might end up loving her. In all God is the only one that can help u with the right choice,go to God.

On the other hand, there is Shalewa, who is more than willing to meet my people, she has a job and even a business. She encourages me to be the best and all other positives. The problem here is that i dont have a feeling for her at all, but i dont want to let go. Mind you we have not had sex even with Labake

Guys please if you were in my shoes what would you do? Who will you take home to mamma. Cos i want to do that this december and wrap up marriage. But i am in a dilemma for nowQ

please advice maturedly
I would advise you not to go for the first lady because she might end up becoming a liability and on the other hand, the second lady wouldn't be bad i believe,cos she is an asset,talking about love,it is not about the chemistry i believe,it is a decision. If u give yourself time 'who knows' u might fall in love with her....but in all,all good and perfect gift comes from God,let God direct u
Re: I Am In A Dilemma by free2ryhme: 11:31pm On Dec 17, 2015
idontaya:
Please guys come to my rescue....

This is centered around two female which i do not want to loose but have to select one to marry. Here goes...

I met these ladies around the same period, i asked Labake out and after the initial gra gra she accepted to date me. thing are getting serious now that i had to ask her certain questions... She has been into business for like 6 years and when i asked what was her savings from the biz she said NOTHING. I asked the reason and she said debts and some other excuses. In short she has no savings and told me to my face i am providing all she will be needing in marriage, relocating her shop from one town to where i am and other things even to her sanitary towels! What is annoying me is that have i now offended the gods that i want to marry her and there taking over her liabilities (her body being the only asset)! I do not have a problem meeting these needs but she has to meet up at some point which she cannot do! I just like/love her i dont know why despite these liability.

On the other hand, there is Shalewa, who is more than willing to meet my people, she has a job and even a business. She encourages me to be the best and all other positives. The problem here is that i dont have a feeling for her at all, but i dont want to let go. Mind you we have not had sex even with Labake

Guys please if you were in my shoes what would you do? Who will you take home to mamma. Cos i want to do that this december and wrap up marriage. But i am in a dilemma for nowQ

please advice maturedly

Ask yourself if these ladies were one of your sisters what will you do
Re: I Am In A Dilemma by Malakh: 11:31pm On Dec 17, 2015
akinladejo:


u will not kill somebody.
lol...if you can afford it, there's nothing wrong with that, just bring two of them together and let them know how you feel about them,anyone who chooses to leave, loose out to the other
Re: I Am In A Dilemma by coolio321(m): 11:34pm On Dec 17, 2015
Bro, the 1st lady looks like the extravagant type. If you're a rich guy or from a rich family, it shouldn't be a problem for you, but if ur an average huzzling guy, she needs to change her ways or U'll keep having issues with her in marriage. The second one looks like the homely supportive type that probably loves you a lot.

Most importantly, take your time, dont be in a haste.

1 Like

Re: I Am In A Dilemma by creamylicious(f): 11:35pm On Dec 17, 2015
JustHere2Observ:
Some have bae but cannot marry, some can marry but have no bae...you have baes but you are confused...Glory be to God Amen
lol. You are evil. Na the irony of life be that
Re: I Am In A Dilemma by marleyboy1991: 11:35pm On Dec 17, 2015
Dumb those two bitches.... You a man... Make money and let it be your focus... And the right girl will come..

2 Likes

Re: I Am In A Dilemma by mrkings84(m): 11:36pm On Dec 17, 2015
tpiar:


how do they marry where you come from?

because december only has two weeks left, and you are saying you want to marry this month but you are yet to decide who.

besides that, what is the meaning of this rigmarole you typed?
Seems u are the main rigmarole who can understand a simple rigmarole
Re: I Am In A Dilemma by Boyooosa(m): 11:36pm On Dec 17, 2015
JustHere2Observ:
Some have bae but cannot marry, some can marry but have no bae...you have baes but you are confused...Glory be to God Amen
I understand wher u r coming from. wink
Re: I Am In A Dilemma by K9Uneet(m): 11:40pm On Dec 17, 2015
If I were in your shoes, I'd simply pull off the shoes and walk bare-footed.
Re: I Am In A Dilemma by Babareho(m): 11:41pm On Dec 17, 2015
I will say u should go for d girl with d job find what u like about her with time love will grow. Labake may decide not to change and becomes trouble for u... |For trending news visit www.adeatom..com

Re: I Am In A Dilemma by kings09(m): 11:41pm On Dec 17, 2015
idontaya:
Please guys come to my rescue....

This is centered around two female which i do not want to loose but have to select one to marry. Here goes...

I met these ladies around the same period, i asked Labake out and after the initial gra gra she accepted to date me. thing are getting serious now that i had to ask her certain questions... She has been into business for like 6 years and when i asked what was her savings from the biz she said NOTHING. I asked the reason and she said debts and some other excuses. In short she has no savings and told me to my face i am providing all she will be needing in marriage, relocating her shop from one town to where i am and other things even to her sanitary towels! What is annoying me is that have i now offended the gods that i want to marry her and there taking over her liabilities (her body being the only asset)! I do not have a problem meeting these needs but she has to meet up at some point which she cannot do! I just like/love her i dont know why despite these liability.

On the other hand, there is Shalewa, who is more than willing to meet my people, she has a job and even a business. She encourages me to be the best and all other positives. The problem here is that i dont have a feeling for her at all, but i dont want to let go. Mind you we have not had sex even with Labake

Guys please if you were in my shoes what would you do? Who will you take home to mamma. Cos i want to do that this december and wrap up marriage. But i am in a dilemma for nowQ

please advice maturedly
First, I cnt be in ur shoes cos we no de wear same size. 2ndly, frm ur story u v made up ur mind by blacklisting d 1st lady. So either thr z sumtin u r nt tellin us like may be d 1st lady z beta in bed than d 2nd or u r jst bn unnecessarily confused abt wat u wnt @ ur matrimonial age or u feel like opening a thread.
Re: I Am In A Dilemma by razzberries: 11:44pm On Dec 17, 2015
I think the one that makes you smile and feel very comfortable should be your wife

I love slim and light skinned girls, I've got one who fits this descriptions, I've another who is dark skinned and with some bakassi.

Of recent I noticed I'm happier with the dark skinned as we laugh just about anything, lovely company to be with, quite motherly and wifely

And I'm thinking "WHAT DA HECK" in a few months time beauty would not be apparent anymore but I would always smile even when I'm down

so right now I'm voting for change

Stick to the one that makes you feel the butterfly in your tommy

PS:
Forget about junior down there, I think we should reason with our brain not out pen*s

1 Like

Re: I Am In A Dilemma by haryomikun(m): 11:45pm On Dec 17, 2015
OP why does your story sound like Wizkid's lyrics nahh
Re: I Am In A Dilemma by tammie24: 11:48pm On Dec 17, 2015
What's your business with their money?

1 Like

Re: I Am In A Dilemma by SKYQUEST(m): 11:52pm On Dec 17, 2015
Why ask the question to which you already know the answer? You heart goes after the more financially stable lady although you don't want to accept you have feelings for her. I think you do because you think she will be a fulcrum to your life. You said you dont want to let go...that is evidence you have some sort of chemisry with her. Also Note...any woman who can manage her personal finances well will most likely be a good home manager!
Re: I Am In A Dilemma by Sunnypa11(m): 11:53pm On Dec 17, 2015
Open your heart for any of them and love them the way they are because nobody is perfect
Re: I Am In A Dilemma by dammytosh: 11:53pm On Dec 17, 2015
Marry the one with the bigger breast.


Thinking like Jonathan's special advisers
Re: I Am In A Dilemma by macminista(m): 11:55pm On Dec 17, 2015
idontaya:
Please guys come to my rescue....

This is centered around two female which i do not want to loose but have to select one to marry. Here goes...

I met these ladies around the same period, i asked Labake out and after the initial gra gra she accepted to date me. thing are getting serious now that i had to ask her certain questions... She has been into business for like 6 years and when i asked what was her savings from the biz she said NOTHING. I asked the reason and she said debts and some other excuses. In short she has no savings and told me to my face i am providing all she will be needing in marriage, relocating her shop from one town to where i am and other things even to her sanitary towels! What is annoying me is that have i now offended the gods that i want to marry her and there taking over her liabilities (her body being the only asset)! I do not have a problem meeting these needs but she has to meet up at some point which she cannot do! I just like/love her i dont know why despite these liability.

On the other hand, there is Shalewa, who is more than willing to meet my people, she has a job and even a business. She encourages me to be the best and all other positives. The problem here is that i dont have a feeling for her at all, but i dont want to let go. Mind you we have not had sex even with Labake

Guys please if you were in my shoes what would you do? Who will you take home to mamma. Cos i want to do that this december and wrap up marriage. But i am in a dilemma for nowQ

please advice maturedly
you marry for compatibility NOT LOVE
Re: I Am In A Dilemma by AreaFada2: 11:56pm On Dec 17, 2015
OP, your search continues.....


You clearly need a mix of both. A girl that's a bit industrious, a bit beautiful and you're at least a bit in love with her.

With any of the two, you will always feel something is missing.

If you're not too mature and desperate, look elsewhere.

If you're, make a rational & calculated decision. I'd chose Shalewa. cheesy

1 Like

Re: I Am In A Dilemma by Gkemz: 11:57pm On Dec 17, 2015
It depends on whether you want to bring in a container or a content. You have both the yam and the knife in your hands. So use it wisely the way it suits you. Apart from mentioning their means of livelihood, you failed to list out the qualities they possess respectively individually. Which among them has a better home training and moral background. You have to be able to answer these basic questions; is she a home builder, is she a career or industrious woman or just a house wife material, a submissive woman, does she love and respect you, does she understand you, Is she someone you can spend a lifetime with, is her attitude okay, and lastly but not the least is sex, what's her sex orientation. In other words, what's her perception about sex. temperament, lifestyle, personality, level of education and exposure are other factors to consider. Notwithstanding, endeavor to consult a marriage counselor because i may not be in the best position to advise you on choosing ur marriage partner as opinion and ideas specified might be based on personal understanding and experience which mayn't be 100% correct to be generalized.
Re: I Am In A Dilemma by Kindelcare: 12:02am On Dec 18, 2015
Look for the one you can bring the best out of, and that you are comfortable with spending your time with, a true friend u share values with. She may be one of the 2 options you provided or out of it. Love is all about GIVING. Also remember, character is more valuable than physical appearance as physical appearance fades away but character lives on. Critically assess the characters of your options without sentiment (as there is tendency for soft feeling for lady 1 because it took u efforts to get her commitment). Don't rush but probe, and You will know it when you meet her. Peace.
Re: I Am In A Dilemma by cardoctor(m): 12:03am On Dec 18, 2015
Theyveedo:
Op ayam coming oooo


Lemme finish soaking this garri

grin
Re: I Am In A Dilemma by cashdosh(m): 12:08am On Dec 18, 2015
Bro, plz, be calm. I'm also experiencing the same thing in my relationship. My gf was able to save up to establish a small scale business by herself but unfortunately, she mismanaged the funds & there was nothing to show for it. I'll advise u stick to d first girl. All you need to do is lecture her on how to become a better business woman and how to save up. You already know her flaw, help her tackle it and keep an eye on how she runs her business.

1 Like

Re: I Am In A Dilemma by preciousman(m): 12:12am On Dec 18, 2015
Acidosis:
You don't marry someone because you LOVE them.


Married couples fall in "love" after wedding oo. Falling in 'love' is a never ending process.

You marry because you are compatible. My advice: get closer to the girl you claim you don't love. Love grows with TIME. There is no such thing as falling in love at FIRST SIGHT. Just spend more time with her, as in quality time and watch that love grow
u said it all bro...the latter will be a good house wife...she will inspire you to be great...try spend quality time with her and u will see the results
Re: I Am In A Dilemma by tellwisdom: 12:13am On Dec 18, 2015
idontaya:


Thanks so much

Mugu....go and make money sad
Re: I Am In A Dilemma by Nobody: 12:19am On Dec 18, 2015
First of, cut the gist about taking someone to mama cause she's not going to live with you!
Secondly, listen to your heart, the answer you seek is right there. A therapy that works for one might not for another. Only you knows you better!
Re: I Am In A Dilemma by zeo(m): 12:19am On Dec 18, 2015
Guy I know your problem,Labake is not a good choice,dont think you can change her that is mission impossible.The problem with shalewa is that she is not as beautiful as Labake so I advice you to close your eyes and see with your mind ,will you like to wake up on the same bed with this woman(Shalewa) for the rest of your life.If the answer is no,then your best shot is to wait for the love of your life.I walked this road before i got married eight years ago,want to know what i did...I moved on until i meet the love of my life and till date i am happy with my decision.I wish you the best bro,remember a broken relationship is better than a broken home.The best is yet to come,please be patient.

3 Likes

Re: I Am In A Dilemma by 9jatatafo(m): 12:22am On Dec 18, 2015
Non is your wife and please beam your searchlight else where
Re: I Am In A Dilemma by Crownadex(m): 12:28am On Dec 18, 2015
op I think u can marry the first 1 (Labake) despite u love her & U can advise her about her business hw to save money as a wise man & mind u love can do everytin . I knw she will take ur advice & eradicate her wrong attitude in the name of love ......4 the second 1 pls don't force ur self to love anybody if u do so U will surely regret it later

1 Like

Re: I Am In A Dilemma by iAmMystical(m): 12:31am On Dec 18, 2015
guy u no fit marry two wives...... even though i dnt subscribe to that
Re: I Am In A Dilemma by Memyselfu2009(m): 12:38am On Dec 18, 2015
D first girls is not responsible and can not manage a home when husbands are broke or down wives lift them up but leaving d total responsibilities on your head rules her out.

You think you don't love the 2nd girl let her go and u would see how much u have feelings for her. Becos u re dating girlfriend Number one it's so hard for u to realise that you love girl friend 2.

But if you choice No 1 pass be girl friend 2 contact first I go marry her

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