young man u can't love someone u have nt married. dis generation keeps deceiving themselves with boy friend and girlfriend love. you have no business whatsoever doing with someone u don't like if u got no marriage plans at heart. stick to d first but I see u suffering for 40 years if u marry any of these. Go and find a true wife . who says we can't be perfect? has God not commanded us to be perfect?

idontaya:
Please guys come to my rescue....

This is centered around two female which i do not want to loose but have to select one to marry. Here goes...

I met these ladies around the same period, i asked Labake out and after the initial gra gra she accepted to date me. thing are getting serious now that i had to ask her certain questions... She has been into business for like 6 years and when i asked what was her savings from the biz she said NOTHING. I asked the reason and she said debts and some other excuses. In short she has no savings and told me to my face i am providing all she will be needing in marriage, relocating her shop from one town to where i am and other things even to her sanitary towels! What is annoying me is that have i now offended the gods that i want to marry her and there taking over her liabilities (her body being the only asset)! I do not have a problem meeting these needs but she has to meet up at some point which she cannot do! I just like/love her i dont know why despite these liability.

On the other hand, there is Shalewa, who is more than willing to meet my people, she has a job and even a business. She encourages me to be the best and all other positives. The problem here is that i dont have a feeling for her at all, but i dont want to let go. Mind you we have not had sex even with Labake

Guys please if you were in my shoes what would you do? Who will you take home to mamma. Cos i want to do that this december and wrap up marriage. But i am in a dilemma for nowQ

please advice maturedly

As you have stated you love Labake, She has no savings,Yes. If the table was turned, wouldn't you want another chance? If you can hold off showing anybody to you Mum for now, trying supporting Labake's business, financially and skill wise (book keeping and savings) and see how she turns out first before you cut her off. You are probably what she needs or she was missing in her business, someone to either encourage or coerce her to save, plus you need to pray too. Shalewa has errything you want, but no feelings btw both of you, she's like a sister to you already, asking her out could go one of this two ways it could work or it wouldn't, plus now you haven't seen her relationship face, (her flaws and real character) that could be a game changer.

idontaya:
Please guys come to my rescue....

This is centered around two female which i do not want to loose but have to select one to marry. Here goes...

I met these ladies around the same period, i asked Labake out and after the initial gra gra she accepted to date me. thing are getting serious now that i had to ask her certain questions... She has been into business for like 6 years and when i asked what was her savings from the biz she said NOTHING. I asked the reason and she said debts and some other excuses. In short she has no savings and told me to my face i am providing all she will be needing in marriage, relocating her shop from one town to where i am and other things even to her sanitary towels! What is annoying me is that have i now offended the gods that i want to marry her and there taking over her liabilities (her body being the only asset)! I do not have a problem meeting these needs but she has to meet up at some point which she cannot do! I just like/love her i dont know why despite these liability.

On the other hand, there is Shalewa, who is more than willing to meet my people, she has a job and even a business. She encourages me to be the best and all other positives. The problem here is that i dont have a feeling for her at all, but i dont want to let go. Mind you we have not had sex even with Labake

Guys please if you were in my shoes what would you do? Who will you take home to mamma. Cos i want to do that this december and wrap up marriage. But i am in a dilemma for nowQ

please advice maturedly

as a man!

None of them is good for you, look for the third person and compare!

WOMEN nowadays are not worth chasing or marriageble,

I may advice you deactivate the both of them and did your search in another location

cashdosh:
Bro, plz, be calm. I'm also experiencing the same thing in my relationship. My gf was able to save up to establish a small scale business by herself but unfortunately, she mismanaged the funds & there was nothing to show for it. I'll advise u stick to d first girl. All you need to do is lecture her on how to become a better business woman and how to save up. You already know her flaw, help her tackle it and keep an eye on how she runs her business.

wise words brother u just put down mi thou

Tom29i:
young man u can't love someone u have nt married. dis generation keeps deceiving themselves with boy friend and girlfriend love. you have no business whatsoever doing with someone u don't like if u got no marriage plans at heart. stick to d first but I see u suffering for 40 years if u marry any of these. Go and find a true wife . who says we can't be perfect? has God not commanded us to be perfect?

young man! Who told you this lie

Are you trying to tell me that you most marry before you start loving someone?

idontaya:
Please guys come to my rescue....

This is centered around two female which i do not want to loose but have to select one to marry. Here goes...

I met these ladies around the same period, i asked Labake out and after the initial gra gra she accepted to date me. thing are getting serious now that i had to ask her certain questions... She has been into business for like 6 years and when i asked what was her savings from the biz she said NOTHING. I asked the reason and she said debts and some other excuses. In short she has no savings and told me to my face i am providing all she will be needing in marriage, relocating her shop from one town to where i am and other things even to her sanitary towels! What is annoying me is that have i now offended the gods that i want to marry her and there taking over her liabilities (her body being the only asset)! I do not have a problem meeting these needs but she has to meet up at some point which she cannot do! I just like/love her i dont know why despite these liability.

On the other hand, there is Shalewa, who is more than willing to meet my people, she has a job and even a business. She encourages me to be the best and all other positives. The problem here is that i dont have a feeling for her at all, but i dont want to let go. Mind you we have not had sex even with Labake

Guys please if you were in my shoes what would you do? Who will you take home to mamma. Cos i want to do that this december and wrap up marriage. But i am in a dilemma for nowQ

please advice maturedly

you know the right way to follow, it's evident in your writeup... choose d best option ,bro

The guy in question is not even responsible jumping from one girl to another u must surely be confused and at the end u make a very wrong choice.that is why marriages don't last again.

PMBfirstson:
My advice is pray over it,but if you cant pray, seek parental advice,
nairaland will not help your situation,instead it get worsten

very through

Bro I feel ur dilemma wahala now.
Just pray about it. Seriously ask Jesus to help you. Don't tell any pastor or whatever, do it on ur own.
It shall be well.

Closeness breeds affection,u myt get to love the 2nd lady after marriage but d problem is,she seems to me lyk a career woman,wil she hav tym 4 u/ur kids tomorrow?(dat depends if u'r d type dat loves a woman spendn quality tym wit u), my advice: postpone taking either of them to ur mum til next yr.if u've gat enough cash,set up a new gud biz for the 1st lady,watch hw she can handle it(make sure its money u can 4get cos dis is gambling),also try working on developing feelns towards d 2nd lady,within the next 6 months,u wil be able to decide whom d cap fits..NOTE: try knw d level of sincerity,homely attitude and faithfulnes the two hav,doz tins matas a lot too

niggi4life:
I won't advice u to go for the lazy girl(Labake) and neither will I recommend the other one as u don't av any feelings for her else u will just blame ursef.


My guy u never see wife o

o boy this says it all oh. Reject this @ ur own peril

Op wait ooooo! I smell foul play, are u sure labake loves u as u loved her? she said she z in debt........, are u sure she isn't giving out her goods for free to male customers? d main reason Y u don't av affection for the oda lady na because of ur divided attention. try n focus on d hardworking one, I tell u..... u will learn to love her.

No man can choose for any man,u must be lead by your inner conviction. .maturity start from the ability to choose from many options.u also need to consider a, the genotype b, how did bothj families receivce u C' which one of them is more submissive. D' if u have a pastor that u respect,let him guide u.

guy go for de second babe,marriage is all abt undastanding nd care wit dat,love will follow up.she id near perfect

HMMMMM.
PUT LABAKE ON THE RUN,SHE MIGHT JUST NEED UR ENCOURAGEMENT TO KICK START,IT SHOWS U ARE INTELLIGENT. SO U CAN MAKE HER TO BE SMART.REM U HAVE FEELINGS FOR HER.IF SHE IS SERIOUS,SHE WILL UPGRADE.AND PRAY FOR GOD 'S DIRECTION.


JOKESSSSSSSSSS.....THROW UP A COIN.
USE BUBBLE GUN,BUBBLE GUN...........
MONINI,MONINII,....

Labake and Shalewa sounds like Mushin. Are you a Printer, Mechanic or Re wire?

pet4ril:
thabks jare..... This op doesn't know what he want..... All these i don't love the ist girl is just because of the resent girl oooo and i assure him the devil he know is better than the angel he do not know

The devil you know...run away! I know the devil, Satan...I don't know Angel Michael...Please, this proverb of yours is what girls with trashy character who don't wanna change use...Must one be a devil? Tsk

Acidosis:
You don't marry someone because you LOVE them.


Married couples fall in "love" after wedding oo. Falling in 'love' is a never ending process.

You marry because you are compatible. My advice: get closer to the girl you claim you don't love. Love grows with TIME. There is no such thing as falling in love at FIRST SIGHT. Just spend more time with her, as in quality time and watch that love grow

supported

sounds like all you care about is the economic aspect of marriage.

goodluck to u

I guess the lazy one is more presentable or pretty may be that is why u prefer her. Well as for me, what we see as love or feeling now is not what we keep our marriage after 10yrs. Check compatibility, values and attitude generally, check the one that u can entrust ur family with incase u are not there. which of them can really represent u well and which of dem believe in what u believe. Finally, get closer to d 2nd person nd undstand why u dont ve feeling 4her, i guess may be cos d 1st has occupied d space in ur hrt. It happened to me also, d 1st girl i truely loved and cherish like no other happens to be an extreme feminist but she has all it takes to be my wife but its either she ends up being d head directly or indirectly or atleast 50:50 power sharing, and i dont beliv in such i beliv in feminism but not against d very tradition, culture and value system of our land so i went 4anoder more relaxed person with all d good qualities as well but not as sharp as d 1st one. Though i never had dt initial feelings but after sometime, i discovered dt i cannot do without her....i have come to cherish her more dan anyone eva n we r starting our marriage dis month. So u see, u ve to go beyond feelings and check compatibility because dts d only thing dt will keep both of u going wen all dis we call love and feeling finally go down. what lublicates love at 20, 30, 40, 50 n so on canneva be d same......so look 4dt oil dt will keep d marriage going at all time. In all, pray cos i did as well and i got confrimation b4 i proceeded....note also dt i did not ve s*x with any of dem as well. GOODLUCK as i wish to know ur choice wen u finally take a stance

niggi4life:
I won't advice u to go for the lazy girl(Labake) and neither will I recommend the other one as u don't av any feelings for her else u will just blame ursef.


My guy u never see wife o

can't you it see from the Angle that, labake just want to see his reaction.

idontaya:


If I was ur bro, what wld you advice me to do?

Labake is a typical Nigerian lady- dependent, and non developing. Apart from her biz woes, don't be surprised she will fall short in some other important aspect. Needless to say, she's pretty? If you are capable, go for the beauty and forget the brains. Mind you, your kids may sufer for this, especially the one that takes after her mom.

The 2nd one is obviously bright and smart. You don't detest her but there's no fire in the relationship - there's a spark though. "Behind every successful man,there's a woman"-this kind of woman!.
If you tend the spark and stoke it, it'll become a fire. Put your mind on her. Think of what you both can achieve together in the nearest future.

Now you are stuck with choosing either the beauty or the brain!

Ur description of Labake does nt show dat she's lazy. U said she's been in biz, ryt? Only that she has no savings. Then u should help her do beta in her biz n to save. U seem happy wit Shalewa being by u, apply d same principle to ur relationship wit d one u like/love.
If u marry d one u dont hv feelings for, u may later end up running back into d arms of d one u hv feeling for!

I heard guys ask for such advice when in great dilemma, unfortunately most of them don't really know what they want. And some have surface meaning of love and feeling.
My brother, marry a woman who will bring the best out of you. Love is not a FEELING, not at all. Love is [b]service, understanding, patience,openness, faithfulness etc according to 1 Cor 13:4-8.
What you are feeling is certain emotion, it's usually disappears easily especially when the die is cast. Please, emotion is not love, whatever you are feeling today is ephemeral, emotion don't last but character does!

oluwafreshkid:


Labake is a typical Nigerian lady- dependent, and non developing. Apart from her biz woes, don't be surprised she will fall short in some other important aspect. Needless to say, she's pretty? If you are capable, go for the beauty and forget the brains. Mind you, your kids may sufer for this, especially the one that takes after her mom.

The 2nd one is obviously bright and smart. You don't detest her but there's no fire in the relationship - there's a spark though. "Behind every successful man,there's a woman"-this kind of woman!.
If you tend the spark and stoke it, it'll become a fire. Put your mind on her. Think of what you both can achieve together in the nearest future.

Now you are stuck with choosing either the beauty or the brain!

Don't u think its d same principle women apply dat make dem go for rich men?

Godmother:
Why should you be dating two people in the first place.
Anyways, you are waiting for perfection and guy there's no such thing.
My advice to you would be to sit Labake down and make her know what you think about her attitude to work.
Better let Shalewa go so a man that loves her can marry her.

Thank you, my sister!!!

U no get feelings for shalewa? even like u no like her?? wetin u come dey do with her naa.
The 1st one u don paint am black finish.

Which answer u need again bros.

timilinda:


Don't u think its d same principle women apply dat make dem go for rich men?

You're are the woman, educate me

My guy, go for Shalewa. Nobody wants to enter a sinking boat. The first girl will ground you. She get big eyes, that is why she cannot save. The second girls looks industrious. You will learn to love and have feelings for her as time goes on.

Labake is obviously the woman for u, jst sit her down, talk sense into her and see her change. Besides, are u really sure she'll give u her account details when there is no commitment? Abi u want to share the marriage spendings with her. Girls are not senseless u know.

idontaya:

Thanks so much

Lolz. Na wetin u wan hear be that.;-)

idontaya:
Please guys come to my rescue....

This is centered around two female which i do not want to loose but have to select one to marry. Here goes...

I met these ladies around the same period, i asked Labake out and after the initial gra gra she accepted to date me. thing are getting serious now that i had to ask her certain questions... She has been into business for like 6 years and when i asked what was her savings from the biz she said NOTHING. I asked the reason and she said debts and some other excuses. In short she has no savings and told me to my face i am providing all she will be needing in marriage, relocating her shop from one town to where i am and other things even to her sanitary towels! What is annoying me is that have i now offended the gods that i want to marry her and there taking over her liabilities (her body being the only asset)! I do not have a problem meeting these needs but she has to meet up at some point which she cannot do! I just like/love her i dont know why despite these liability.

On the other hand, there is Shalewa, who is more than willing to meet my people, she has a job and even a business. She encourages me to be the best and all other positives. The problem here is that i dont have a feeling for her at all, but i dont want to let go. Mind you we have not had sex even with Labake

Guys please if you were in my shoes what would you do? Who will you take home to mamma. Cos i want to do that this december and wrap up marriage. But i am in a dilemma for nowQ

please advice maturedly

I will advice you seek spiritual help rather dan verbal advice here as none of them may even b ur wife. Either you Pray urself and even fast if u can (that is if u no ur God and how to call him) or go to spiritual elders (Pastor, alfa or babalawo). Marriage is a crucial stage in a man's life as any mistake may even cost one's life. I wish you well bro.