Ways To Not Allow Technology To Be The Death Of Your Relationship

Is technology killing romance? Don’t get me wrong, technology is great. The internet keeps us educated, informed, socialized – but the digital age has also made interpersonal relationships a bit, well, impersonal. I mean, it’s hard to express your affection for someone in 140 characters or less.

Everything to picking out a date to breaking up (yes, it’s happened to me) can now be done at the push of a button. And obsessing about our texts, emails and social media sometimes makes us inattentive when we’re out on a date.

A few ideas that might help.

1. Call.

I know, a lot of us hate calling anymore, don’t we? I’m as guilty as the next person. For me, there’s no commitment to texting. I can stop responding whenever you want or straight out ignore them from the get-go. It’s easy, but impersonal.

Not everyone can express themselves well in the written word. But can you express yourself better with a call? Perhaps you should make it a point to dial the digits if you have something important to say to your significant other, even if it’s simply, “I love you.”

Texting should be used in addition to using the phone, but it’s become a crutch for real relationship communication, Plus, texting is easy to misinterpret. Without voice inflections, sarcasm through text can be interpreted as unkind. Just the other day I was writing with a friend and we were joking back and forth. I wrote, “Jerk.” I was totally kidding, but I didn’t include a smiley face, so he took it as an insult. I bent over backwards to apologize. Luckily, he believed that I was trying to be funny and blew it off.

Plus, in my opinion I think texting allows us to objectify one another too easily. We get to hide behind the safety of our smart phone and act however we want. I think that’s why when online dating, some guys get ballsy and send unsolicited dick pics. They don’t know U. At the moment they push the send button, U are nothing but a profile picture to them.

2. Get face to face.

That’s why I think face to face interaction is important. Some things can’t take the place of a voice inflection, body language, and touch. Don’t you love hearing a person laugh, seeing their eyes light up, watching them smile, holding hands, hugging?. That’s why, when it comes to online dating, I’m all for meeting up sooner rather than later. You will never know if you truly connect with someone without meeting them. There is something about human contact.
These important conversations should be done in person.

3. Don’t be a stalker.

The internet has made it so easy to find out everything there is to know about a person even before the first date. All you have to do is Google their name and much of their life is right there at your fingertips for the perusing. You can check their Facebook and Twitter to see if they’re socially adept. Read their LinkedIn to find out what kind of work they do. If they have a blog, you can dig in and find out what makes them tick. We have all become internet stalkers.

We need to Stop.

Learn about your date by talking, not stalking. Get together, talk, ask questions. Okay, check out their dating profile a couple times (don’t go overboard, they can see that shit you know), maybe look up their rap sheet, but other than that, let everything come out organically. Are you in some kind of hurry? No? Then take your time. There’s something sexy about unraveling a person bit by bit.

Technology certainly makes dating easier, but intimacy and the discovery process suffer. Go on dates that allow for communication. I mean, texting, Facebooking and hooking up are not dates. Go for a walk, out for drinks, play a board game. Talk, talk, talk.
Premature judgement is also a danger when you stalk someone online before the date.

4. Power down.

That means that no matter what we’re doing, including going out on a date, we feel we must check our phones.

The struggle is real. I know a lot of people leave their phone out on the table or bar when out with dates. It’s like they won’t survive if it’s not within their sweaty little grasp. . Muster your will power and ego and go low tech on dates. I’m sure you’ll survive without reading your texts or checking your Facebook for a few hours.

How do you feel when your date is constantly checking their phone? That’s right, you feel like crap. Make an agreement with your date to turn your phones off. It is not an appendage. You can put it in your purse, your pocket, leave it in the car – whatever it takes to keep from checking it. Give each other your full attention. Make each other feel like the most important thing in the world at that moment.

Yes, we need technology. It’s important. I get that. It’s a great way to connect and stay connected – but it can also be a distraction. We don’t want to adopt “celibacy syndrome”, do we? We want real relationships with actual people in our tangible world, right? And sex. Lots and lots of great sex!

The tactics mentioned above may be a little scary for some, maybe difficult, but they’re not impossible. We need to make each other feel important. We need to put our need for instant gratification aside and get to know each other gradually, for we are complex mysteries that deserve to be unraveled, not oddities to be examined under a microscope.

Let’s not allow our smart phones and social media to kill our communication skills, our intimacy and our romantic tendencies. Let’s fight to keep them alive. Our relationships may depend on it.

Nice post


Lalasticlala

Its too too bad ladies or should i say girls sef of nowadays are just too too attached to chatting.. Its so crazy i swear. Imagine partners who say they r engaging in an online relationship dnt even call themselves! That's pathetic! Its very importtant to spice things up, chats get boring on the long run, its good to call, see each oda, make video calls, etc..

the case everywhere

Aptly written. I think humans are increasingly becoming insatiable and insecure which is a catalyst for a relationship breakdown. More often than not people expect you to give up your way of life and centralise your existence around them just coz you both are involve in an affair. They think and demand that you have to check up on them every time of the day regardless of what your schedule and engagement are, and as soon as you don't their curiosity builds up. Once one don't chat their loved ones up they quickly assume his/her attention is with someone else, though true but not absolute.

Every human loves some space and sovereignty and the earlier lovebirds understand and respect it there would be peace. You don't always have to know who he/she talked to or where they have been daily. A relationship shouldn't be a trajectory to servitude and captivity.

The quest for self validation would always lead humans to flirt even when they're in a serious relationship, and without the intent to cheat. An attempt to stifle and censor this innate desire to associate freely with opposite sex by wanting your lover not to express themselves will serve as an omen for dispute.

In a nutshell, one shouldn't be too inquisitive in finding out about every details of their lover and gives them some freedom. Whilst I'm not dismissing the importance of questioning and challenging suspicious moves by our partners, it should be moderated.