Prosperous new year beautiful people....

Pls I have an issue bothering me..and I need advice from matured minds, parents and other people who might have been in my shoes..

In brief, I have a younger bro who is 23yrs of age, a graduate and Corper. He's d only son. I am d eldest. My parents have always had issues with him because of his lifestyle which include his drinking habits, betting, and his non-challant attitudes towards life. P.s: I come from a good christian home and our relationship with God is of greatest priority to us.

Every time we meet as a family, we discuss and rub minds togeda and also advise my brother to change his life style. Please note that my brother is an intelligent and very talented guy, he is actually blessed with talents and he relates with people easily.

This lifestyle has been an issue of concern to my parents that sometimes my mom cries and we have made it a point of duty to pray for him indivudually, in fact made him a prayer project until God rescues his soul.

Recently, during the festive period, I collected his phone just to check his pictures and all and my hand stumbled to his bbm chat(invasion of privacy you may say), well I admit but I didn't know how I went there which I don't do usually. The first chat I opened was the last I opened as I saw a lot of revelation.

It was a chat with a girl he met at camp 5days to round off from camp(November batch). The discussion entails how he drinks a lot, how he spends his money on drinks, how he is a sex freak and how he does 3som and foursome. The worst is that he has sexual intercourse raw, without protection with ladies. He mentioned a day in which he had a 3som and also slept with another girl that same day. He also mentioned that any lady he sleeps with must pregnant if not she will abort it. He mentioned a whole lot which I can't say.

One of the things we advise him on is 'savings'. He hardly saves and he worked a whole year last yr without any savings yet he buys drinks and spends on girls according to the revealation.

He was saying this things like its an achievement even the girl was enjoying it. The girl willingly said she wants to sleep with my brother and they arranged to meet. Since the day I read this chat, I havn't been myself. I never knew the issue is this bad...that he is even an addict.

Now the issue is, should I tell my mom cos I don't know if she can handle this? Or should I call him and tell him myself explaining the dangers of unprotected sex and other things? I know he will get angry at me for reading his chat but is it not better I tell as he seem to listen to my advice? I also have another suggestion...I have a minister in church who is God fearing and he is like an elder brother to me, should I tell him so he can call him and talk to him? Though my brother doesn't know him

I am just confused on the action to take. My brother's soul is not for d devil and he is a man who should lead by example and not live this kind of lifestyle. Pls help a sad sister who wants the best for his brother....

Thank u

I don't like to share blame. But you all failed in raising him properly.
Sit him down,talk to him like an adult "he is"
The problem here is the misplaced priority and a serious case of low self esteem.
He will change.

maxti:
I don't like to share blame. But you all failed in raising him properly.
Sit him down,talk to him like an adult "he is"
The problem here is the misplaced priority and a serious case of low self esteem.
He will change.

I don't think its failed upbringing...will his family be with him all tru his university days? Or will they follow him everywhere to caution him about?

Pikin wey go spoil go spoil despite d upbringing...constant prayers and words of advice will change him.

Please don't disturb your mum with that . A 23 year old boy is not a baby, he believes he knows what's best for him and he won't change just because of your words, this kind of people learn best by experience , just keep praying for him.

Why is d op bothered?

Karma is gonna give him d Change u r yearning for, I jus hope its not too late by d he wud realise.

wat d guy needs is a' reality slap' eg wen he gets broke, dont answer him, handle him wit iron hand.

Free him to learn from his mistakes but pray in ur heart dt its not too costly becos GUYS LIKE HIM DONT LISTEN.

Let him be, let him ruin his life. Some kind of this people are usually damaged goods.
One of my brothers is worse than this, after trying all interventions non worked.
He is drinking, smoking using drugs and all.

My mom spoiled him, when all of us were doing house chores as kids he would be walking around.

Sometimes there is no much you can do.

Username1:
Prosperous new year beautiful people....

Pls I have an issue bothering me..and I need advice from matured minds, parents and other people who might have been in my shoes..

In brief, I have a younger bro who is 23yrs of age, a graduate and Corper. He's d only son. I am d eldest. My parents have always had issues with him because of his lifestyle which include his drinking habits, betting, and his non-challant attitudes towards life. P.s: I come from a good christian home and our relationship with God is of greatest priority to us.

Every time we meet as a family, we discuss and rub minds togeda and also advise my brother to change his life style. Please note that my brother is an intelligent and very talented guy, he is actually blessed with talents and he relates with people easily.

This lifestyle has been an issue of concern to my parents that sometimes my mom cries and we have made it a point of duty to pray for him indivudually, in fact made him a prayer project until God rescues his soul.

Recently, during the festive period, I collected his phone just to check his pictures and all and my hand stumbled to his bbm chat(invasion of privacy you may say), well I admit but I didn't know how I went there which I don't do usually. The first chat I opened was the last I opened as I saw a lot of revelation.

It was a chat with a girl he met at camp 5days to round off from camp(November batch). The discussion entails how he drinks a lot, how he spends his money on drinks, how he is a sex freak and how he does 3som and foursome. The worst is that he has sexual intercourse raw, without protection with ladies. He mentioned a day in which he had a 3som and also slept with another girl that same day. He also mentioned that any lady he sleeps with must pregnant if not she will abort it. He mentioned a whole lot which I can't say.

One of the things we advise him on is 'savings'. He hardly saves and he worked a whole year last yr without any savings yet he buys drinks and spends on girls according to the revealation.

He was saying this things like its an achievement even the girl was enjoying it. The girl willingly said she wants to sleep with my brother and they arranged to meet. Since the day I read this chat, I havn't been myself. I never knew the issue is this bad...that he is even an addict.

Now the issue is, should I tell my mom cos I don't know if she can handle this? Or should I call him and tell him myself explaining the dangers of unprotected sex and other things? I know he will get angry at me for reading his chat but is it not better I tell as he seem to listen to my advice? I also have another suggestion...I have a minister in church who is God fearing and he is like an elder brother to me, should I tell him so he can call him and talk to him? Though my brother doesn't know him

I am just confused on the action to take. My brother's soul is not for d devil and he is a man who should lead by example and not live this kind of lifestyle. Pls help a sad sister who wants the best for his brother....

Thank u

hmm, first dislike to ask has he always been this way or he just changed gradually or all of a sudden?
Or has he always had some bit of it in him? Cos I've a bro somethingbluje this but surely not this worse.
At a time we never used to talk un til I found out what was Making him that way. Well he still hasn't changed completely. But at least we now roll well and its easier talking him out of some things.

so what do you want us to tell you?you've already done what you're supposed to do for him.it's time you allow him learn from from his own indulgences.

I think this is a case of poor upbringing, it seems he is used to having his way. He is a man let him make his mistakes and learn from them.

Don't bother ur Mum with what u know it will only break her. Leave her to keep praying for him. Such pple only change when somethn grave happens to them or when they decide to change on their own or a miracle happens.

1. Keep praying for him.
2. Leave your mum out of it
3. U guys should stop worrying about him, it won't help
4. U can only ask someone he respects and relates with, to talk to him. Must not be a church member
Good luck with him

Hi Honey,

It is well with you

I think you should talk to your dad. He will kno how to tell your mum if he decides she should know. He does need people praying for him. Pray and then talk to him if you are led to. Let God lead you (your family) on what to do and what not to. Truth is its a spirit ... He can't help himself except God helps him. Talking Wont do it without praying about it. I can guarantee though, that the blood of Jesus has not lost its Power and there is Power in the name of Jesus to break every chain. I can testify to that. Have faith ... God will step in because He keeps His Promises. I can testify
God bless you hon

Pls kip prayin 4him.stop d attention u'r givin him. He'l change pray it'll neva be too late

SarahGee:


I don't think its failed upbringing...will his family be with him all tru his university days? Or will they follow him everywhere to caution him about?

Pikin wey go spoil go spoil despite d upbringing...constant prayers and words of advice will change him.

I quite get your point they can't go with him everywhere.
That's where the issue of upbringing comes in.
Upbringing isn't just about what a child should do or not do. It goes beyond that. It is the Fondation laid up for a child......

maxti:


I quite get your point they can't go with him everywhere.
That's where the issue of upbringing comes in.
Upbringing isn't just about what a child should do or not do. It goes beyond that. It is the Fondation laid up for a child......

Well true...foundation is KEY but then there is something called 'influence'...a good upbringing can be destroyed by so many factors, especially in this recent times. A major factor is 'bad company', rmb evil communication/company corrupts good manners'.

The kind of people one associate with in life goes a long way. The 'said' boy might have been well brought up because according to the OP, they are from a good Christian home....but he might have been negatively influenced in school especially...do u know how many children go to school and get negatively influenced and come home during the holidays and still pretend to their parents?

Upbringing takes God's grace friend, upbringing is to an extent about 50%, the remaining 50% is left for the child to reform him or herself in the outside world

Someone says u shld talk to ur dad......dont try it o

At 23,its normal to av vices

That his vices are even known to his family is a plus...a whole lot of guys pretend about all of these things

You also cant change him...no one can change anybody...only God can.so be fervent in ur prayers...

And stop making it seem as tho theres no hope for him..his approach to life will change later