Marxxx:
I have discussed and we have had several chat on the issue. I don't have that much time for myself let alone shopping. I was cool with the caterer that does the cooking. She cooks and packs it small packs and keeps them in the freezer. Sometimes the cooking can serve for the whole month when she visited she made me relieve the woman off her duties and the next meal I got was ....i have showed her how I order for stuffs online. I knew my sizes by staring at my clothes. I will always keep an open mind cos if I lose her I don't even know where and how to start. Which is my biggest fear. She worries much about her family though. But family will always have problems and if you decide to let it drag you well.......

Na wa o, I dnt even knw what to say. Wetin dey do her nw? Maybe u shld threaten her wt break up if she doesn't sit up and discuss wt a gud friend of hers to talk sense into her brain.

But if all these doesn't work out and u can't cope wt such behaviour, u'll both knw u've done ur best to save d relationship, break thns up and move on wt ur life, it might nt be so easy, and wt the money u av nw there will be more of moneysuckers out there, just there for d money but u might find a decent and gud enof lady tht suits ur standards, and wnt make u regret breaking up wt d other lady. I don't wish 4 u to fall into d hands of a modern jezebel, so thread wisely, dnt make any rash decision, and break out of ur introverted shell- enof to get back into d dating games

Marxxx:
I understand but the teenage and early 20 age group can amaze you with their level of flippancy. I know you will say same with over 25. But if you do the math you end up getting more % of miscreants from the below 25

Yh, true, maybe. Nt on NL where u can't even differentiate adults from teens. I think d flippancy part has more to do wt personalities. I am certainly nt over 25 for 1, so I broke ur rule

Marxxx:
I had a rough upbringing no one cares so from day one I knew it was going to be rough. Growing in some remote part of the world I thought my village was the whole world until I got into school (The first time I saw V/I I knew I have crossed the rubbicon). I couldn't mix in school so I found solace in books. I have always wandered alone until I met xyz....i was skillful in hunting and skinning rabbits and she was always interested in the game. After buying rabbits for time and getting some free we became...did I just tell you how we met.... ...Alright if she had heeded to my advice she will be working right now with better pay. I still have openings waiting for her in a multinational coy even without blowing the trumpet... Moreover I want her to get certification first (CIPM, NIM, ICSAN) ...so that she can sharpen her business skill. For the accent....I worked on it...we were both heavy with accent just that mine was

I wish I could speak with her and make her understand why she should at least leave her comfort zone, and realise she also can get something better in life especially when there's someone willing to support and walk through it with her. This isn't necessarily for you but her personal development as well. Afterall, she's a graduate and not an illiterate.

If she's totally averse to city life (although I don't know your plans but I believe there's a high probability of you settling fully in that city you are), then it's best you let her go.

Moving on will be hard for you both, but then, in the long run, it might just be the best option.

By the way, it's never too late to improve on your social skills.

Marxxx:
If she had relocated in December she would definitely be working now. If she relocates this February she will get a job before April. As it stands there about 12 coded slots in Friesland (I don't work there) and she fits two profiles with my grooming and pushing she will be taken....Job is least of my worries. My plan is for her to get certification since she has experience...Get CIPM or ICSAN....and start the ATS....stuff...at my expense.....If I am truthful her salary is let me not go there...There is nothing about her person is just stubbornness...not being calculative and not seeing the big picture...you tell this and she start sobbing...I think am typing too much...is well

okay, I understand. I dont know if this will be the best but is there anyway you can get her to see this thread maybe send the link to her on watsap or something and get her to read it.

You may/ may not tell her you are the OP but she should get the drift. I doubt you have communicated in details to her the way you have told us here.

If she reads how you feel about it then I believe she would want to improve at least she will know you have great plans for her but she would also know that the thought of leaving did cross your mind.


Besides doesnt she have parents, siblings or even collegues that she is close with that you can talk to and they talk with her?

I still believe this can be salvaged.

Marxxxx
I am a graduate too from a Federal University in Nigerian (OAU) but jobless. I need a Job no matter how it is I will Manage it. If u can b of help to me, I will appreciate. Coz I can c the grace of God for Job oportunity is on u.
.......BBM 2BC5A387 & watsap 07052640160

As regard to your babe, u can never have everything perfect in this world. And moreover Your rising in life might b because she is in your life. Try and add prayer to your jouney, it is very crucier.
This life is very funny, u don't too need much of what u are claiming here bro. It has to be well with u spiritually b4 things can go well physicaly, though I dont know your religion but I guess u will believe in d bible, and I can tell u, I know what i'm saying. She was with u b4 u gained admission to d University, u were able to perform excellently and come out with good grade, u dont have problem in getting good place to serve, in no time u were still fortunate to get a good job. Hmmmmm, many wu are much more ambitious and whose destiny should b more glorious have become rags in life due to whom they work with. She is an excellent fit to your life.
I believe she will change with time, she might b a slow learner.

Sory marxxx
07052640180 and NOT 07052640160

Hmm. People be just commenting about love love, you don't love her, very careless Will he chop love eh after years of marriage. Most of you males and females that be commenting on this post cannot even stand dating local people let alone a graduate who just wants to be stagnant and not grow. Is it wrong for him to want his girlfriend to have a good plan for her life and not settle for a secretary job, is it bad for him to want a lady who looks good or classy knowing he can afford it eh. You be saying take her out, how many times does he have to mention he has no time to go out and shop himself. Haba people can judge oh without even trying to understand where he's coming from. Jezz there are ladies who would love a chance to have such a partner who motivates them career wise, challenges them intellectually.things have changed he has changed forward ever backward never. All the stories you ladies be posting doesn't even relate to his current situation.
OP I think you guys just have very different temperaments, your driven and she's very laid back, her kind of people are sturbborn and really love their comfort zone therefore not willing to loose it, but it's high time you look past the tears, tell her to be serious no more excuses she should tell you what her plan is. I think the major thing that can help her is a change of environment. I don't think she's exposed at all. She needs to see people, culture, etc. On another note you're a workaholic, you need to try and create time for yourself and maybe then you both can go hang out in cool joints, also try having a social life too no matter how little, it would really help.

give her time to change take her out to outings more often take her to where there are girls wearing classic clothes, she will change because she notice one or two things from those girls she is a human being she will change slowly but if she resist change let her be there is a reason for everything don't leave her because i can assure you would regret it in future all that glitters is not gold

Life is a choice.
let me go a bit biblical.
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
my point is she must want the change as much as you want it.else it will be a case of talking to a brick wall.


I get that you love you lady deeply and look to marriage with her.
Now thoroughly search your heart and ask your self this questions.
The change you desire of her is it truly for her own improvement or it is so you could be able to show her off,boost of her credentials and beauty prowess.her good sense of dress and all.
If she refuses to change will u love her wholeheartedly for who she is and what she represents and stands for.
If she accepts your change now and after marriage she changes back to the rabbit catching good lady will that still be an issue for you.



Sit her down in that bush rabbit area you both loved so much hold her hands,in plain language tell her how she means so much to you,how you can live without her before proceeding to telling her the benefits of her improvement to herself as a lady,to you as your wife and to your unborn children as their mother,give her case examples of people who started like you both and show her live pictures of their transformation.after you heart to heart talk with her request that she should tell you if she is open to change with you or not.

Except you do not view marriage as a stay or die trying.if you go into it with all this insecurities,wants,desires you have and they are not met or is temporary met.
either you divorce or you keep a mistress outside one is inevitable.

So make your choice to love,hold and cherish her irrespective of her changing or not.
Or to let her go.

I'm thankful that I was not raised under harsh conditions. I'm thankful that I can still appreciate the earthiness in some of the people who didn't enjoy the privileges I did in childhood.

I am thankful that nobody can make me feel (not good enough) the way Marxxx makes that young lady feel everyday.

I pray she meets someone who would be patient enough to help smoothen her rough edges.

I agree with the first commenter u want someone to reap from where she did sow.this chick is your ride or die.in trouble old age wrinkle skin everythang.yes she has bad taste in clothes maybe she dosent know were to shop for good ones and she might need help from someone preferably a lady.she cooks palm oil rice with crayfish(by the way i like palm oil rice and crayfish too ; u don't like her cooking, we have catering classes enroll her in one.what will 1.5M do?From what u wrote u guys share alot she gave her whole life to u so what if she is lagging behind, u have to take her along with you never leave her behind;make sure you have tried everything before u say she dosent want change.if she changes wowww that would be great if she dosent nobody should blame you for your decision to leave her because you tried.the truth is as you attain a certain class u need someone equally trendy to match you.you cant have a wife you are not proud of; not fair on you or the lady.Slowly the quarrels will come and before u know it u begin to loose the love u thought u will never loose and u get to a point were neither of you can come back from and you start looking outside for what u cant get at home.
Try before you throw in the towel nobody deserves an unhappy marriage or relationship

Pardon the typos oooooo

Marxxx:
This might be a bit long and please it is not compulsory you comment.

I am thinking about ending my current relationship. My girlfriend and I have been together since I was 20. The problem is my girlfriend doesn't want to do things differently.

I have never lived in a big city until I got a job. I was raised in a remote village and was quite heavy with accent. I was a local guy, so local that I was among the few dudes who went to night class with a kerosene lamp. The first time I visited lagos was when I was invited for an aptitude test in V/I lagos.

My girlfriend was always with me back then. We were two crazy people. She will visit from a close town we will purchase bush meat and palmwine, drink to stupor, swim in the stream, talk loud and argue on the road, cause trouble and fight whoever meddles in our affair.

My girlfriend graduated a year before me from a polythetnic and she got a job as a secretary in a transport company and also served there. She did help me with her little earnings. I could remember her money for cyber cafe browsing and my final year project was a success.

I graduated with first class. She helped me work my service to the transport company and we were just managing our lives with our troubles. I sent my Cv's to several banks, oil and gas firms, construction etc and was called for assessment by one of the aforementioned.

I was assessed and was later invited for interview. I thrilled my interviews with my horrible accent. I got the job. I resumed after service.

Life has changed but my girlfriend is resisting the change. I enjoyed palm oil rice and crayfish back then not anymore. I still don't know why she uses crayfish in jollof rice. I bought over seven dictionaries sent it to her, but the books looked like they were never touched let alone opened. I gave her a laptop only for her to tell me later that her younger brother needs it. She still laughs and scream like we used to back in the village. And even taps my head in public...back then I enjoyed all these attributes. Not anymore. The few times she visited she was already picking up a quarrel with the lady in the next flat.

You give her money to buy good clothes she ends up buying cheap fabrics. Get good shoes she will buy mallam slippers. I am not from a rich home too but we all work hard so that we can be happy.

What got me mad was last year xmas I gave her my 13th month salary everything. I told her specifically get an "Expensive dress and shoe". The top guys are hosting we the mid-level guys. I reminded her severally ensure you get good stuff. That day I was filled with rage, I mean is this what you bought with six figures? This gown with the rickety shoe? I told her not to follow me but my heart couldn't bear seeing her cry. Yet she is still resisting change.

I shouldn't be typing all these but I don't have friends I don't trust people. She has been my only friend. I am a perfect introvert and a Choleric.
When I consulted the only acquaintance I had back in the university he told me to raise about 1.5m and settle her. He said he gave his ex 1.3m to settle her. I knew her back then on campus. He got married early this year. I am also thinking same right now. But the past memories of us is causing my hesitation. And I can't watch her cry.

I am in my late 20's and planned getting married last year I even told my mum but her attitude is causing my hesitation hence I postponed the proposal. Can't figure out anything l need a good advice.

It is not compulsory you comment if you feel the impulse ensure it is not irreconcilable with common sense.

Your story really touch me and it's a little bit similar to mine. Please don't leave her because of such a trivia reason except if you're no longer in love with her anymore. I got married almost 5 years ago and if you happened to know me then you wouldn't be able to recognize me again ( all thanks to hubby) it's your job to enlighten her and bring out the desirable trait you want in her. I wish you good luck in that and if you ever need help or advise you can contact me as I also lives on island.

Send her abroad or go on holiday with her outside the country. Sometimes experience helps.
(that way you can help her shop too).

AfroKnight:
I'm thankful that I was not raised under harsh conditions. I'm thankful that I can still appreciate the earthiness in some of the people who didn't enjoy the privileges I did in childhood.

I am thankful that nobody can make me feel (not good enough) the way Marxxx makes that young lady feel everyday.

I pray she meets someone who would be patient enough to help smoothen her rough edges.

check his other thread, making people feel terrible is his hobby...

amokeme:
check his other thread, making people feel terrible is his hobby...

I am very sorry if that is how you feel...Really sorry! But how do I make people feel horrible? At the office sometimes I feel I am lending a helping hand all of a sudden the person feels terrible. I try minding my business it gets worse. I didn't get much love growing up in fact none at all I learned the hard way so don't judge me...cos I am changing....i am unfriendly I know that, but I am not a sadist...

Tetedebby:
Your story really touch me and it's a little bit similar to mine. Please don't leave her because of such a trivia reason except if you're no longer in love with her anymore. I got married almost 5 years ago and if you happened to know me then you wouldn't be able to recognize me again ( all thanks to hubby) it's your job to enlighten her and bring out the desirable trait you want in her. I wish you good luck in that and if you ever need help or advise you can contact me as I also lives on island.

Thank you so much for the Advice I will do my best. Thanks for offering to help...

Marxxx:
I am very sorry if that is how you feel...Really sorry! But how do I make people feel horrible? At the office sometimes I feel I am lending a helping hand all of a sudden the person feels terrible. I try minding my business it gets worse. I didn't get much love growing up in fact none at all I learned the hard way so don't judge me...cos I am changing....i am unfriendly I know that, but I am not a sadist...

now I see where the problem is coming from.
And just so you know, the fact you learnt the hard way doesn't mean you have to subject people to that same pattern.
And you need to "change". life is already hard, we don't need more of your kinds to make it worse for people who are trying to be happy the little way they can.
And work on yourself before you talk about marriage, for the sake of your kids.... so you won't bring up hateful children

Marxxx:
I am very sorry if that is how you feel...Really sorry! But how do I make people feel horrible? At the office sometimes I feel I am lending a helping hand all of a sudden the person feels terrible. I try minding my business it gets worse. I didn't get much love growing up in fact none at all I learned the hard way so don't judge me...cos I am changing....i am unfriendly I know that, but I am not a sadist...

The more I read from you the more I am beginning to understand you
All I will say is that the past is the past an there is the present and future to look forward to
I am glad that you are changing because there is so much to enjoy in life and it will be a waste if you go through life being too serious and not taking a minute to enjoy it as you pass through.

Every new day is a blessing......enjoy it and live it

Marxx, I like the fact that you are goal driven, u know what you want and have plans for them..
.but you are too rigid, ur replies here indicates that you take life toooooo... Serious,like you'll live forever. Yes, you've been blessed and that lady played a major role in your success story, so don't be quick to forget that.
...you pointed out that she doesn't want to move ahead and is comfortable being stagnant with her current position and status , that doesn't mean that you should dictate her life for her cos if you rily love her as you claimed, you'll continue to implore and discuss until there is nothing left to say...talk to her from different perspectives and act like you care because honestly, you responses kindof show that you are lacking in that aspects....once again..stop being so stucked up..its good to have goals out of which some have being achieved but this is your relationship and not a business deal......act like she rily is your friend dear..cos honestly if I have a friend that acts like this....our friendship would have died a natural death
So....stop being so stucked up and enjoy life..(.its not like you'll get out alive)

Marxxx

My simple advice for you is to persevere in bringing her up to your taste. It is not impossible.

You may just have to work very hard on this.

All the best...

Marxxx:
This might be a bit long and please it is not compulsory you comment.

I am thinking about ending my current relationship. My girlfriend and I have been together since I was 20. The problem is my girlfriend doesn't want to do things differently.

I have never lived in a big city until I got a job. I was raised in a remote village and was quite heavy with accent. I was a local guy, so local that I was among the few dudes who went to night class with a kerosene lamp. The first time I visited lagos was when I was invited for an aptitude test in V/I lagos.

My girlfriend was always with me back then. We were two crazy people. She will visit from a close town we will purchase bush meat and palmwine, drink to stupor, swim in the stream, talk loud and argue on the road, cause trouble and fight whoever meddles in our affair.

My girlfriend graduated a year before me from a polythetnic and she got a job as a secretary in a transport company and also served there. She did help me with her little earnings. I could remember her money for cyber cafe browsing and my final year project was a success.

I graduated with first class. She helped me work my service to the transport company and we were just managing our lives with our troubles. I sent my Cv's to several banks, oil and gas firms, construction etc and was called for assessment by one of the aforementioned.

I was assessed and was later invited for interview. I thrilled my interviews with my horrible accent. I got the job. I resumed after service.

Life has changed but my girlfriend is resisting the change. I enjoyed palm oil rice and crayfish back then not anymore. I still don't know why she uses crayfish in jollof rice. I bought over seven dictionaries sent it to her, but the books looked like they were never touched let alone opened. I gave her a laptop only for her to tell me later that her younger brother needs it. She still laughs and scream like we used to back in the village. And even taps my head in public...back then I enjoyed all these attributes. Not anymore. The few times she visited she was already picking up a quarrel with the lady in the next flat.

You give her money to buy good clothes she ends up buying cheap fabrics. Get good shoes she will buy mallam slippers. I am not from a rich home too but we all work hard so that we can be happy.

What got me mad was last year xmas I gave her my 13th month salary everything. I told her specifically get an "Expensive dress and shoe". The top guys are hosting we the mid-level guys. I reminded her severally ensure you get good stuff. That day I was filled with rage, I mean is this what you bought with six figures? This gown with the rickety shoe? I told her not to follow me but my heart couldn't bear seeing her cry. Yet she is still resisting change.

I shouldn't be typing all these but I don't have friends I don't trust people. She has been my only friend. I am a perfect introvert and a Choleric.
When I consulted the only acquaintance I had back in the university he told me to raise about 1.5m and settle her. He said he gave his ex 1.3m to settle her. I knew her back then on campus. He got married early this year. I am also thinking same right now. But the past memories of us is causing my hesitation. And I can't watch her cry.

I am in my late 20's and planned getting married last year I even told my mum but her attitude is causing my hesitation hence I postponed the proposal. Can't figure out anything l need a good advice.

It is not compulsory you comment if you feel the impulse ensure it is not irreconcilable with common sense.

Hmmmm!!! bro,I feel your plight. I however,think that you should let go of that idea of settling her. Love is not am apprenticeship that one gets settled after a period of time. she too can change,just like ypu did. what she needs now is a change of environment and maybe job. Also you should seat her down and allay your feelings and fears about her inability to change. I wish you all the best in your quest to change her.

Marxxx:
This might be a bit long and please it is not compulsory you comment.

I am thinking about ending my current relationship. My girlfriend and I have been together since I was 20. The problem is my girlfriend doesn't want to do things differently.

I have never lived in a big city until I got a job. I was raised in a remote village and was quite heavy with accent. I was a local guy, so local that I was among the few dudes who went to night class with a kerosene lamp. The first time I visited lagos was when I was invited for an aptitude test in V/I lagos.

My girlfriend was always with me back then. We were two crazy people. She will visit from a close town we will purchase bush meat and palmwine, drink to stupor, swim in the stream, talk loud and argue on the road, cause trouble and fight whoever meddles in our affair.

My girlfriend graduated a year before me from a polythetnic and she got a job as a secretary in a transport company and also served there. She did help me with her little earnings. I could remember her money for cyber cafe browsing and my final year project was a success.

I graduated with first class. She helped me work my service to the transport company and we were just managing our lives with our troubles. I sent my Cv's to several banks, oil and gas firms, construction etc and was called for assessment by one of the aforementioned.

I was assessed and was later invited for interview. I thrilled my interviews with my horrible accent. I got the job. I resumed after service.

Life has changed but my girlfriend is resisting the change. I enjoyed palm oil rice and crayfish back then not anymore. I still don't know why she uses crayfish in jollof rice. I bought over seven dictionaries sent it to her, but the books looked like they were never touched let alone opened. I gave her a laptop only for her to tell me later that her younger brother needs it. She still laughs and scream like we used to back in the village. And even taps my head in public...back then I enjoyed all these attributes. Not anymore. The few times she visited she was already picking up a quarrel with the lady in the next flat.

You give her money to buy good clothes she ends up buying cheap fabrics. Get good shoes she will buy mallam slippers. I am not from a rich home too but we all work hard so that we can be happy.

What got me mad was last year xmas I gave her my 13th month salary everything. I told her specifically get an "Expensive dress and shoe". The top guys are hosting we the mid-level guys. I reminded her severally ensure you get good stuff. That day I was filled with rage, I mean is this what you bought with six figures? This gown with the rickety shoe? I told her not to follow me but my heart couldn't bear seeing her cry. Yet she is still resisting change.

I shouldn't be typing all these but I don't have friends I don't trust people. She has been my only friend. I am a perfect introvert and a Choleric.
When I consulted the only acquaintance I had back in the university he told me to raise about 1.5m and settle her. He said he gave his ex 1.3m to settle her. I knew her back then on campus. He got married early this year. I am also thinking same right now. But the past memories of us is causing my hesitation. And I can't watch her cry.

I am in my late 20's and planned getting married last year I even told my mum but her attitude is causing my hesitation hence I postponed the proposal. Can't figure out anything l need a good advice.

It is not compulsory you comment if you feel the impulse ensure it is not irreconcilable with common sense.

Goodmorning, im not a relationship analyst, love doctor nor an experience guru in this aspect, not withstanding I have learnt a lot from your post and other comments that followed suit , my comment here was spurred by your current thread, the ideal Thing is for me to drop this there so as not to derail from the topic here, bt the traffic over there is tremendous and I fear I might not be noticed. I sent a direct message, would appreciate if you reply sir. Thanks in advance

I carefully read through the post and comments cause I really want to get you and now I think I do. Please do not take this advise the wrong way but to see only the intention which is good.
Now to the matter at hand, OP the major problem isn't your babe but one thing you guys share in common which is LOW SELF ESTEEM. Your response and defensive attitude made this clear to me. Honey (permit me to call you that), you don't have any social life, avoid people and don't ask for help all because you are afraid of making mistake or being embarrassed. Hmm, all these happen to all of us at one point in time, it's unavoidable. So my dear, you have to come out of your shell, make mistake, get embarrassed it is only gonna make you better. Most of all work on your self esteem, you are SMART that obvious from your comments and NOT PROUD but you low self esteem makes you appear so and if nairalanders think you're be sure that's the way your colleagues sees it too, they won't tell you but it's the truth. Your babe has similar issue and you are the only one that can help her, so work on yourself first, it will help you understand her better.#shalom#

OP,now I'm beginning to understand you better,can we talk privately please?

herboshedhe:
OP,now I'm beginning to understand you better,can we talk privately please?

Talk with me privately na? HMmmmmmm...let me send you pm?

Op you want a planned life. You have everything figured out. You think brilliance can get you all you want? Sorry bro nature has its own part.....and you must obey it too

SSpeter:
Talk with me privately na? HMmmmmmm...let me send you pm?

Do you have any good business idea that's gonna make cool cash to share?

Marxxx:
I am not into Oil and Gas or construction....just consulting....if you want entry level positions I can't help with that but I don't know your interest though.

entry level position is ok by me.....am interested you can contact me on opeyemi945@gmail.com. thanx.....i pray your girl become your taste.

Timbuktou:


What's funny?

edwife:

Marxxx:



I have never lived in a big city until I got a job. I was raised in a remote village and was quite heavy with accent. I was a local guy, so local that I was among the few dudes who went to night class with a kerosene lamp. The first time I visited lagos was when I was invited for an aptitude test in V/I lagos.

My girlfriend was always with me back then . We were two crazy people. She will visit from a close town we will purchase bush meat and palmwine, drink to stupor, swim in the stream, talk loud and argue on the road, cause trouble and fight whoever meddles in our affair.

My girlfriend graduated a year before me from a polythetnic and she got a job as a secretary in a transport company and also served there. She did help me with her little earnings. I could remember her money for cyber cafe browsing and my final year project was a success.

I graduated with first class. She helped me work my service to the transport company and we were just managing our lives with our troubles. I sent my Cv's to several banks, oil and gas firms, construction etc and was called for assessment by one of the aforementioned.

I was assessed and was later invited for interview. I thrilled my interviews with my horrible accent. I am not from a rich home too but we all work hard so that we can be happy.


She has been my only friend. I am a perfect introvert and a Choleric.
When I consulted the only acquaintance I had back in the university he told me to raise about 1.5m and settle her. He said he gave his ex 1.3m to settle her. I knew her back then on campus. He got married early this year. I am also thinking same right now.

And I can't watch her cry.



It is not compulsory you comment if you feel the impulse ensure it is not irreconcilable with common sense. - quite an arrogant statement, common sense should have told you that you are being silly!

The interviewers knew you were timid from your accent and probably your dressing yet they gave you a chance. Now you are rolling with the top guys and you forget that it was your timidity that got you a job. You rather forsake your roots and people that made you. What if everybody judged you based on your timidity? you will probably be digging up yams and cassava. Don't forsake your roots, you will not be happy in future without that lady - this is a fact. Please read the boldened ten times over and judge yourself by yourself.

Post her specs or probably an image of what she really looks like