@ Benedicta,

What if the prostitute comes across one of her past customers who just so happens to be her husband's friend?


Secrecy in marriage is destructive. I'd rather you tell me upfront so i know what i've got to deal with, than having to find out myself.

I think secrecy is destructive in marriage -- it is a lack of trust and respect. This is something the other partner is unaware of, which is not a good thing.

not everything is to be share, not even with your partner.

i believe there should be no secrets between couples/ partners however there are some issues that should be considered on a case by case basis for the relationship to survive. it's not particularly pleasant to disclose some information because it'd trigger a chain reaction that might consume ALL parties involved.
i know what i mean here, to preserve the inherent peace. the other poster Loyeruope has said it all.
wish you all the best in discerning what to divulge or hold back.

Secret is secret! There better be none, because no matter how perfect you think you are in keeping secret, it always have its way of showing up when you least expect it.

So, It is better to share your past with your partner to avoid any kinda scandal!

spoilt:

I've told my husband everything. Just edited versions!

Good idea, it just has to be shared so it would be noted, edited or raw!

Its better to disclose all secrets before the marriage cause it can help to know if your partner really loves you not just for what he/she thinks you are. Also the proverb which says if a banana is eaten at the bottom of the sea, its peel will surely float to the surface applies here. Sooner or later the truth will come out one way or the other and your spouse may not like hearing it from another mouth.

Its better to disclose all secrets before the marriage cause it can help to know if your partner really loves you not just for what he/she thinks you are. Also the proverb which says if a banana is eaten at the bottom of the sea, its peel will surely float to the surface applies here. Sooner or later the truth will come out one way or the other and your spouse may not like hearing it from another mouth.

@@@@@@

i think one have the right or might want to preserve ur own family matters where necessarily

i think

u might not want to tell ur wife about the feud goin on in ur family

u might not want to tell her about the whole family asset etc etc

WackyJ1:

Its better to disclose all secrets before the marriage cause it can help to know if your partner really loves you not just for what he/she thinks you are. Also the proverb which says if a banana is eaten at the bottom of the sea, its peel will surely float to the surface applies here. Sooner or later the truth will come out one way or the other and your spouse may not like hearing it from another mouth.

Good comment

All sorts of replies on this thread,

i think the question is, If you are in a relationship or you are married, what will you do, if you find out that your partner has kept a certain story or information away from you for a long time, ? what will you do?

As for me, i believe, no matter what the story is, its best to let your partner know, the earlier the better, some stories might hurt at first, but one will appreciate the fact that i was told,

i believe everything must be said at one point in time, nothing stays hidden,

anuu01:

All sorts of replies on this thread,

i think the question is, If you are in a relationship or you are married, what will you do, if you find out that your partner has kept a certain story or information away from you for a long time, ? what will you do?

As for me, i believe, no matter what the story is, its best to let your partner know, the earlier the better, some stories might hurt at first, but one will appreciate the fact that i was told,

i believe everything must be said at one point in time, nothing stays hidden,

thanks to face book and the likes you cant hide most things too long now. it is just a matter of someone tagging something here and there and stories begin to unfold.

honesty and truthfulness is always the best policy.

@ Post,

No matter how fast lie can run, truth will catch up with it one day.

The antidote is to spill out every thing right from the out set, the good, the bad and the ugly.

This saves both party a whole lot of stress and heart aches.

Cheers.

3Line:

@ Post,

No matter how fast lie can run, truth will catch up with it one day.

The antidote is to spill out every thing right from the out set, the good, the bad and the ugly.

This saves both party a whole lot of stress and heart aches.

Cheers.

There is a difference btw lies and withholding info

Disclosure is always the best policy, believe me, it saves u a lot of trouble (and lies) later,
it also builds  trust, therefore, y marry someone you cant trust with ur secrets (or past).

it also tells if he/she is someone who would love u regardless,

Fhemmmy:

There is a difference btw lies and withholding info

lie. dem be first cousins and school mate. dem dey waka together.

I think we making big of nothng.
Why would you wanna tell your wife that BTW, when i was 22 i used to suck Jenny's kitten, and one day you now walk into Jenny and tell your wife, honey, this is Jenny, and when you get home, your wife start acting up, cos she has finally met the woman u used to eat her kitten like chicken?
Common, u need to be wife with some information.
If it is something that will not affect your relationship, yes, but something that might send you to the dog house, keep your mouth zipped

It is very very destructive. But some time is not because of the type of partner that you have.

yep

I was with my bf for about 4 months before he told me he was 3 yrs older than the age he had told me originally. I WAS PISSED! because i felt that I had already fell in love with him as a 28 yr old, not a 31 yr old. That was awful and it made me not trust him for a while, In fact, I still doubt him sometimes and it has been 2 yrs now. Sometimes I go through his papers just to make sure everything is in tact. , so that right there should tell you all that not being upofront with your partner AS SOON AS POSSIBLE can become very very destructive.

on the contrary once its let out one can retain thereselves
but if the burden is un-bearable why carry it
one should always look at the outlook of what the outcome happens
which over longrun is tradgedy henceforth do what is best is the best motto to follow

From the Bible (God's) perspective

"A fool says everything"

sng1127:

I was with my bf for about 4 months before he told me he was 3 yrs older than the age he had told me originally. I WAS PISSED! because i felt that I had already fell in love with him as a 28 yr old, not a 31 yr old. That was awful and it made me not trust him for a while, In fact, I still doubt him sometimes and it has been 2 yrs now. Sometimes I go through his papers just to make sure everything is in tact. , so that right there should tell you all that not being upofront with your partner AS SOON AS POSSIBLE can become very very destructive.

That is different, but detail about one's past is none of the presence's biz

Kikeade:

From the Bible (God's) perspective

"A fool says everything"

In certain situations that differ from this.

Kikeade:

From the Bible (God's) perspective

"A fool says everything"

This is called using the bible for our excuses.

well to be quite honest with you if the secret is going to affect the the relationship there is need to disclose it becos at the end of the day it will still leak except known by just one person and you know that is not too possilbe.

[color=#770077][/color] You guyz have said it all, dont keep secrets dat wil crash ur marriage and trasparent, it will make ur relationship lasts longer.
If u are told or discover anything about ur spouse, it wont move u, because of d initial awareness of her(& his) past.

ummmmmm

destructive

yes it is
some are too gruesome and heartbreaking for u to say everything as it is
but at least say most of the basic stuff but leave out the gory details
e.g. you were a cultist and killed while in uni
simply say u were in the fraternity and were actively involved in the hooliganism, lives were lost during such fracas but at least u thank God all in all, u r still alive, then leave the rest to her imagination.
u dont have to say, "i was a cultist and i killed about 7 guys while in school, so i have blood on my hands" if u catch my drift.
thats why we have the power of speech and thought.
it all depends on the way you laya it on the table.

It is destructive.