balash:



If there is a lady who has probably done istikhara on u and she ain't pleased with what she saw then I think you should let her be and move on. Don't force it because ladies have weaker heart and if you force her she might even cheat in marriage or thereabout. She has been exposed to it and let it slide please. Move on

Its not written anywhere that you will av a dream after doing istikhara ( I stand to be corrected) or u should explain that statement "what she saw" bt if u still mean dream den brother d insinuation is wrong

enieme:
Please what are they seeing o
Contrary to belief that when one makes istikira, one would get the result in a dream form of some sort. Its a fallacy.
Knowing the meaning of the words uttered is even enough to prove this poin.
one makes istikira after seeking counsel on a matter. thereabout one chooses whatever option one's heart is more inclined towards and then begs Allah that if that option be good, that Allah makes it come through and if not, one would obviously encounter obstacles coming one's way whenever decision is made on that option.
E. G u want to make decision on either buying a Samsung phone or BlackBerry. U ask around and u seem to get more pros about bb. U make istikira and proceed to go buy it. If you encounter no probs then it's good, but if u keep being hindered by one thing or the other then it probably isnt what ur meant to buy.

My sister I don't even knw u av comment on what dey are seeing o infant the present muslim youth need knowledge bt non is ready to learn bt we are ready to pass fataawah

balash:



Yes you on right track probably, but people's vices and hearsay are the problem we facing, every bachelor / spinster wants a perfect marriage forgetting that they would surely be ups and down in marriages and when it happens they equally claim it's the end. Am not an istikhara fan anyway. And I know surely well that when am married it won't be rosy always and I have every options to wakeup in the middle of the night, pray and seek for Allah's guidance.

But people want to see future and that's so wrong, imagine istikhara saying u can't bear child in marriage with a certain man u would love to marry and you left the man forgetting that only Allah provides children and he Allah can change everything as long as you beleive he can doo it.? Are u a fan of it?

Brother abeg we need sound islamic knowledge do u really know what istikhara is abi hw can istikhara say u can't av a child haba istikhara is not going to dos so called alfa op u knw sha

ademoladeji:


May Allah SWT grant you His blessings.

I listened to Bilal Philips'sermon about Istikhara and I think same point you just made.

What baffles me most is the way our 'so-called' clergies in this part of the world mislead us. The person I've given my all to, that person I thought was my dream, the lady I so much felt would carry my unborn babies, just left me because sm1 told her she'd see a dream of colour.

Yes! she did buh the colour was RED- meaning there is NO WAY!

God in His Supreme Oneness has the Sole Power to see 2mao but we outta our curiosity want to wrestle that power with Him.


I've accepted it as my Qadar (Kadara)

Everything occurs according to preordainment and according to what has been decreed. Such is the belief of Muslims, the followers of Muhammad (Blessings and Peace be upon him). And nothing happens in the Universe except through Allah's Knowledge, Permission, and Divine Plan.

And certainly, we shall test you with something of fear hunger loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to the patient ones.
(Quran 2: 155)

And in a hadith, the Prophet (bpuh) said:

"Wonderful is the affair of the believer! His affairs in their entirety are good for him: if good befalls him. he is thankful, and that is good for him. And if harm befalls him, he is patient, and that is good for him. And this (prosperous state of being) is only for the believer."

cc: balash

My brother af a strong imaan in Allah


Read more of d quran and authentic hadith. Your mind should b at rest cos what is meant for you will never leav u nd what leaves u is never meant for u

enieme:

How about the fact that she may just be ignorant about issues like this and May have been raised to always take what islamic auauthorities around her say to be true; and disobedience to them being tantamount disobedience ce to Allah?
I don't think u need to discourage the op as of yet.

My sister both the op and the so called girl are on thesame line in terms of knowledge the girl doesn't knw nd him also doesn't know either

Is d op not courting d girl?

How many months, years af they spent together?

What has she done to improve him in islamic knowledge nd also d op himself

ademoladeji:

What a world we're in...
May we be forgiven our shortcomings
Thank you ma'am

enieme:

How about the fact that she may just be ignorant about issues like this and May have been raised to always take what islamic auauthorities around her say to be true; and disobedience to them being tantamount disobedience ce to Allah?
I don't think u need to discourage the op as of yet.

My sister both the op and the so called girl are on thesame line in terms of knowledge the girl doesn't knw nd him also doesn't know either

Is d op not courting d girl?

How many months, years af they spent together?

What has she done to improve him in islamic knowledge nd also d op himself

balash:


What are u insinuating?? Be clear please

For you to understand me very well can you tell me what is istikhara and how is istikhara done?

personal59:



Its not written anywhere that you will av a dream after doing istikhara ( I stand to be corrected) or u should explain that statement "what she saw" bt if u still mean dream den brother d insinuation is wrong

Speak for yourself in every situations, it's helps alot, if you don't know something or never encountered it doesn't mean it doesn't happen, there are loads of istikhara that are done with dreams this days. You don't know about it then don't argue with people who do okay!

personal59:



For you to understand me very well can you tell me what is istikhara and how is istikhara done?

Istikhara is done by saying 2 rakat only and telling Allah your needs and he should guide you to the right path!! That's the normal istikhara

The istikhara that's been promoted now after 2 rakat and some verses, you would be asked to go too sleep. And reveal what you saw in the dreams and it would be translated.

If you don't know or have never experience it stop condemning, what u don't know does not kill you

personal59:


My sister both the op and the so called girl are on thesame line in terms of knowledge the girl doesn't knw nd him also doesn't know either

Is d op not courting d girl?

How many months, years af they spent together?

What has she done to improve him in islamic knowledge nd also d op himself




My sister both the op and the so called girl are on thesame line in terms of knowledge the girl doesn't knw nd him also doesn't know either

Is d op not courting d girl?

How many months, years af they spent together?

What has she done to improve him in islamic knowledge nd also d op himself

I don't just understand your gibberish Mr man. What are u saying? We are merely talking abt istikhara and I dnt get what u saying, nothing concern us about their relationship or how they are practising it, he said it plainly that he is so much in love with her and she is leaving him for flimsy issues. What u cocking

personal59:



Brother abeg we need sound islamic knowledge do u really know what istikhara is abi hw can istikhara say u can't av a child haba istikhara is not going to dos so called alfa op u knw sha

I merely used that as an example that would be understandable, I don't just get you,maybe when. You fully awake we would talk better

balash:


Istikhara is done by saying 2 rakat only and telling Allah your needs and he should guide you to the right path!! That's the normal istikhara

The istikhara that's been promoted now after 2 rakat and some verses, you would be asked to go too sleep. And reveal what you saw in the dreams and it would be translated.

If you don't know or have never experience it stop condemning, what u don't know does not kill you

Brother from ur first quote all I will say is I will keep mute cos u won't understand me

Jazakhallahu khairan for ur time

personal59:



My brother af a strong imaan in Allah


Read more of d quran and authentic hadith. Your mind should b at rest cos what is meant for you will never leav u nd what leaves u is never meant for u

Thank you brother.

May Allah SWT bless you

personal59:


My sister both the op and the so called girl are on thesame line in terms of knowledge the girl doesn't knw nd him also doesn't know either

Is d op not courting d girl?

How many months, years af they spent together?

What has she done to improve him in islamic knowledge nd also d op himself

As-Salam Alaekum WaramotuLlah Wabarakatuh...

You don't seem to understand the scenario.

No one is an island of knowledge. I crave to to know what I don't know and also desire to have better understanding of the which I know.

What makes us differ is our level of understanding of a subject matter because of our diverse way of upbring.

On the Istikhara, I have read series of literature as well as listened to a number of sermon by Islamic scholars which has made me have better understanding of the subject.

I wouldn't want to repeat what I've said in my earlier posts buh will respond to your questions.

1. Yes, we were courting

2. 14 months

3(a) She consistently asked me about my solat, she invites my to attend Islamic progs.
(b) I bought Islamic literature for her to read, Al-Qunut, Quran (Translated), I even share hadiths and sermons with her, I encouraged her to perform her solat at the designated time, and lots more

ademoladeji:


As-Salam Alaekum WaramotuLlah Wabarakatuh...

You don't seem to understand the scenario.

No one is an island of knowledge. I crave to to know what I don't know and also desire to have better understanding of the which I know.

What makes us differ is our level of understanding of a subject matter because of our diverse way of upbring.

On the Istikhara, I have read series of literature as well as listened to a number of sermon by Islamic scholars which has made me have better understanding of the subject.

I wouldn't want to repeat what I've said in my earlier posts buh will respond to your questions.

1. Yes, we were courting

2. 14 months

3(a) She consistently asked me about my solat, she invites my to attend Islamic progs.
(b) I bought Islamic literature for her to read, Al-Qunut, Quran (Translated), I even share hadiths and sermons with her, I encouraged her to perform her solat at the designated time, and lots more

Brother I love ur reply nd it will giv us more space to learn from each other

Firstly I want you to know that what's meant for u will never leave u and vice versa


My brother do u know dat if we keep doing things dsam way we will keep getting the same result?


Firstly I want u to know that islam is d best religion and d accepted one in d sight of Allah. It also has its own culture and mode of operation as a muslim we are bound by the law of islamand going outside it leads to sinful act or not obeying it

Do u know that islam negate courting?

Islam av a laid down rule I mean what to look for in both woman nd man before going for marriage


This hadeeth was narrated by al-Bukhaari (4802) and Muslim (1466) from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) who said: “A woman may be married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty and her religious commitment. Seek the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).” 

There is nothing in this hadeeth to suggest that it is enjoined or encouraged to marry a woman for her beauty, lineage or wealth. Rather what it means is that these are things that people look for in marriage. Some look for a wife who is beautiful, some look for a wife who is descended from a noble family, some look for a wealthy wife, and some look for a wife who is religiously-committed – and this last is what the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) encouraged when he said: “Seek the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).” 

Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in Sharh Muslim: 

The correct view concerning the meaning of this hadeeth is that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) spoke of what people usually do, for they seek these four characteristics, the last of which in their view is religious commitment, but you who are seeking to follow the right way should seek the one who is religiously committed.  This is not a command to do so… This hadeeth encourages us to seek the company of religiously-committed people in all things, because the one who keeps company with them will benefit from their good attitude and good ways, and will be safe from any bad influence from them. 

Al-Mubaarakfoori said in Tuhfat al-Ahwadhi: 

Al-Qaadi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: It is the people’s custom to seek certain characteristics in women and to choose a wife for a certain quality. It befits those who are religiously-committed to base their actions on religious guidance, especially with regard to matters that are serious and have lasting effects. 

The scholars differed greatly as to the meaning of the words, “May your hands be rubbed with dust.” Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in Sharh Saheeh Muslim: 


And Allaah knows best.

personal59:


Brother I love ur reply nd it will giv us more space to learn from each other

Firstly I want you to know that what's meant for u will never leave u and vice versa


My brother do u know dat if we keep doing things dsam way we will keep getting the same result?


Firstly I want u to know that islam is d best religion and d accepted one in d sight of Allah. It also has its own culture and mode of operation as a muslim we are bound by the law of islamand going outside it leads to sinful act or not obeying it

Do u know that islam negate courting?

Islam av a laid down rule I mean what to look for in both woman nd man before going for marriage


This hadeeth was narrated by al-Bukhaari (4802) and Muslim (1466) from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) who said: “A woman may be married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty and her religious commitment. Seek the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).” 

There is nothing in this hadeeth to suggest that it is enjoined or encouraged to marry a woman for her beauty, lineage or wealth. Rather what it means is that these are things that people look for in marriage. Some look for a wife who is beautiful, some look for a wife who is descended from a noble family, some look for a wealthy wife, and some look for a wife who is religiously-committed – and this last is what the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) encouraged when he said: “Seek the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).” 

Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in Sharh Muslim: 

The correct view concerning the meaning of this hadeeth is that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) spoke of what people usually do, for they seek these four characteristics, the last of which in their view is religious commitment, but you who are seeking to follow the right way should seek the one who is religiously committed.  This is not a command to do so… This hadeeth encourages us to seek the company of religiously-committed people in all things, because the one who keeps company with them will benefit from their good attitude and good ways, and will be safe from any bad influence from them. 

Al-Mubaarakfoori said in Tuhfat al-Ahwadhi: 

Al-Qaadi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: It is the people’s custom to seek certain characteristics in women and to choose a wife for a certain quality. It befits those who are religiously-committed to base their actions on religious guidance, especially with regard to matters that are serious and have lasting effects. 

The scholars differed greatly as to the meaning of the words, “May your hands be rubbed with dust.” Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in Sharh Saheeh Muslim: 


And Allaah knows best.

YES! I know Islam negates courting.

Courtship is defined as a period during which a couple develop a romantic relationship before getting married. Here, we were friends but NEVER engaged in sexual act because of our mutual understandings.

We both had the intention of settling down together buh without doing what is forbidden. So, I court the Halal way.

To digress a bit, lot of what we do today are things ISLAM negates.
We work in bank- Haram
We save in the bank; this attracts Usury- Haram
We listen to music; circular- Haram
lot of other things brother.

.....We can only try our best. Allah is Oft-Knowing Of-Forgiving

JazakAllah Khaeran

personal59:


Brother I love ur reply nd it will giv us more space to learn from each other

Firstly I want you to know that what's meant for u will never leave u and vice versa


My brother do u know dat if we keep doing things dsam way we will keep getting the same result?


Firstly I want u to know that islam is d best religion and d accepted one in d sight of Allah. It also has its own culture and mode of operation as a muslim we are bound by the law of islamand going outside it leads to sinful act or not obeying it

Do u know that islam negate courting?

Islam av a laid down rule I mean what to look for in both woman nd man before going for marriage


This hadeeth was narrated by al-Bukhaari (4802) and Muslim (1466) from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) who said: “A woman may be married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty and her religious commitment. Seek the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).” 

There is nothing in this hadeeth to suggest that it is enjoined or encouraged to marry a woman for her beauty, lineage or wealth. Rather what it means is that these are things that people look for in marriage. Some look for a wife who is beautiful, some look for a wife who is descended from a noble family, some look for a wealthy wife, and some look for a wife who is religiously-committed – and this last is what the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) encouraged when he said: “Seek the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).” 

Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in Sharh Muslim: 

The correct view concerning the meaning of this hadeeth is that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) spoke of what people usually do, for they seek these four characteristics, the last of which in their view is religious commitment, but you who are seeking to follow the right way should seek the one who is religiously committed.  This is not a command to do so… This hadeeth encourages us to seek the company of religiously-committed people in all things, because the one who keeps company with them will benefit from their good attitude and good ways, and will be safe from any bad influence from them. 

Al-Mubaarakfoori said in Tuhfat al-Ahwadhi: 

Al-Qaadi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: It is the people’s custom to seek certain characteristics in women and to choose a wife for a certain quality. It befits those who are religiously-committed to base their actions on religious guidance, especially with regard to matters that are serious and have lasting effects. 

The scholars differed greatly as to the meaning of the words, “May your hands be rubbed with dust.” Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in Sharh Saheeh Muslim: 


And Allaah knows best.

Sorry brother ws very busy ad to pause work to continue


In addition we can't give what we don't have and in hadith qudusi Allah said know me before you serve cos if u don't know me how will u serve me


U can't give what you don't have thaats y the first step in the right direction is to seek the right knowledge we don't need an alfa or anyone aside Allah if we know cos this religion belong to no one nd it also belong to all

Its never too late to seek the right knowledge bro cos knowledge will guid ur ways. Am short of what to say anymore cos am too busy bt u can ask that one will prompt more words

ademoladeji:


YES! I know Islam negates courting.

Courtship is defined as a period during which a couple develop a romantic relationship before getting married. Here, we were friends but NEVER engaged in sexual act because of our mutual understandings.

We both had the intention of settling down together buh without doing what is forbidden. So, I court the Halal way.

To digress a bit, lot of what we do today are things ISLAM negates.
We work in bank- Haram
We save in the bank; this attracts Usury- Haram
We listen to music; circular- Haram
lot of other things brother.

.....We can only try our best. Allah is Oft-Knowing Of-Forgiving

JazakAllah Khaeran

My brother note: there is nothing like halal courtship if your parent (both) are not aware and put there blessing in it.

Not everything we do is haram listen to music is haram is it a must we listen to it?

My bank put interest bt I knw d amount I deposited in d bank dat interest is der problem not mine

So brother if we do the right thing we will get the right result


No halal relationship

personal59:


My brother note: there is nothing like halal courtship if your parent (both) are not aware and put there blessing in it.

Not everything we do is haram listen to music is haram is it a must we listen to it?

My bank put interest bt I knw d amount I deposited in d bank dat interest is der problem not mine

So brother if we do the right thing we will get the right result


No halal relationship

Let's not bring our parents into this. We are all learning here...

I have an intention to marry someone, we don't kiss, we don't hold ourselves, we don't hug, neither do we hav sex. What we discuss were clean...

Is it haram to have an opposite sex as friends?

I hope you're aware of the ppl connected with usury n d likes...

Anyway, I get your point and I appreciate your contributions greatly.

ademoladeji:


Let's not bring our parents into this. We are all learning here...

I have an intention to marry someone, we don't kiss, we don't hold ourselves, we don't hug, neither do we hav sex. What we discuss were clean...

Is it haram to have an opposite sex as friends?

I hope you're aware of the ppl connected with usury n d likes...

Anyway, I get your point and I appreciate your contributions greatly.

My brother!! You are on a normal route, don't let an human like you make decisions that they are also victims to on you please. Kk

balash:


My brother!! You are on a normal route, don't let an human like you make decisions that they are also victims to on you please. Kk

God bless you brother.

I do really appreciate you a lot.

May Allah SWT be with you always

As Salam alaykum. pls I want tu clarify sumtin. Pple keep saying courtship is haram in Islam. If a man meets a lady let's say Feb and they got married by December. Wt wud u call d period from Feb tu December??.

knarphie1:
As Salam alaykum. pls I want tu clarify sumtin. Pple keep saying courtship is haram in Islam. If a man meets a lady let's say Feb and they got married by December. Wt wud u call d period from Feb tu December??.

My sister get the point if u meet someone nd u av mk d necessary research abt d person including its aqeedah den d next thing is to ask d brother to meet ur parent ( in islam parent consent is all u need) u can google on islamic process to nikkah...... Meeting ur parent, preparing for aqeed nd co is nt a day stuff nd d last thing people do dat tk time in which dey can do at anytime is d walimotul nikkah nd it isn't compulsory "aqeedu nikkah is d most nd only compulsory" one involving both parent nd at least two witnesses on both side

ademoladeji:


Let's not bring our parents into this. We are all learning here...

I have an intention to marry someone, we don't kiss, we don't hold ourselves, we don't hug, neither do we hav sex. What we discuss were clean...

Is it haram to have an opposite sex as friends?

I hope you're aware of the ppl connected with usury n d likes...

Anyway, I get your point and I appreciate your contributions greatly.

Brother read and digest with open mind am nt bringing ur parent into any discussion cos I av mine too so won't ridicule someone else parent ( saying u need both ur parent nd her parent blessing in it isn't an insult to ur parent) but mind u


Doing things dsame way and expect different result is d best definition of ........ U can google it. Thanks

Truth hurt bt I won't deceive u either cos I don't knw u nor u knw m so no gain in lying cos wat am saying is not what u expect doesn't mean it isn't the right thing so far u are a muslim brother u re bound by d islamic law

ademoladeji:

Thank you brother.
May Allah SWT bless you

Ameen wa anta