"Love is a many splintered thing." No truer words have been spoken (by The Simpsons, anyway). Whether it's a funny one-liner or a genuinely jaded jab, sometimes great love quotes can really speak to what you're feeling — especially when you're feeling the sting of love gone south. "Love is a grave mental disease," you say? Touché, Plato. Touché. 1. "Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution." — Mae West 2. "Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think — in a deeper voice." — Bill Cosby 3. "Love is a promise delivered already broken." — Steve Martin 4. "Men should be like Kleenex: soft, strong, disposable." — Cher 5. "My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met." — Rodney Dangerfield 6. "Love is a temporary insanity curable by marriage." — Ambrose Bierce 7. "By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." — Socrates 8. "A kiss may ruin a human life." — Oscar Wilde 9. "My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese. Most of it's missing, and what's there stinks." — Joan Rivers 10. "Love is a grave mental disease." — Plato 11. "You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it." — Henny Youngman 12. "Marriage is like a tense, unfunny version of 'Everybody Loves Raymond', only it doesn''t last 22 minutes. It lasts forever." — Pete in "Knocked Up" 13. "If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married." — Katharine Hepburn 14. "Behind every successful man is a woman, and behind her is his wife." — Groucho Marx 15. "Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke." — Lynda Barry 16. "If you love something set it free, but don't be surprised if it comes back with herpes." ― Chuck Palahniuk 17. "Love is a trap. When it appears, we see only its light, not its shadows." — Paulo Coelho 18. "Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes." — Jim Carrey 19. "Love in action is a harsh and dreadful thing compared with love in dreams." — Fyodor Dostoevsky 20. "Deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance." — Oscar Wilde 21. "A man is only as faithful as his options." — Chris Rock 22. "Romance has been elegantly defined as the offspring of fiction and love." — Isaac Disraeli 23. "Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell." ― Joan Crawford 24. "Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby: awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess." ― Lemony Snicket 25. "Love sucks. Sometimes it feels good. Sometimes it's just another way to bleed." ― Laurell K. Hamilton 26. "The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman." — Samuel Taylor Coleridge 27. "Love is a many splintered thing." — The Simpsons 28. "God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time." — Robin Williams 29. "Falling in love is so hard on the knees." — Aerosmith 30. "You can never be wise and be in love at the same time." ― Bob Dylan 31. "My love is expansive. Your love is expensive. " ― Jarod Kintz 32. "Love is only the dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species." — W. Somerset Maugham 33. "Can there be a love which does not make demands on its object?" — Confucius 34. "A woman is faithful to her first lover for a long time — unless she happens to take a second." — Francois de La Rochefoucauld 35. "Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die." — Johnny Carson 36. "No woman ever falls in love with a man unless she has a better opinion of him than he deserves." — Edgar Watson Howe 37. "A woman tries to get all she can out of a man, and a man tries to get all he can into a woman." — Isaac Goldberg 38. "A man's love is incomplete until he has married, then he is finished." — Zsa Zsa Gabor 39. "What's love but a secondhand emotion?" — Tina Turner 40. "People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy." — Bob Hope 41. "Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city." — George Burns 42. "Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debating." — Ray Bandy

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