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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / How Does It Happen In Your Home, Is Your Marriage This Messed Up? (11068 Views)
"Cheating Is Okay If Your Home Is Okay" - Nigerian Man Advises / Finding Your Partner In The Religious Home Is Not A Guarantee For Happy Home / My Home Is Collapsing (2) (3) (4)
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Re: How Does It Happen In Your Home, Is Your Marriage This Messed Up? by red19: 11:41pm On Mar 24, 2016 |
Op you should work on ur sex life with ur wife cos it looks like u re the rush rush type.giving ur own very wife mouth action shudnt be a problem if she enjoys it.from what I see here ur wife resents u for whatever reason u shud try and find out and work on getting ur marriage back.pride does not work in a marriage,am sure if u treat her softly u will get the best out of her rather than threatening her...wish u the best 1 Like |
Re: How Does It Happen In Your Home, Is Your Marriage This Messed Up? by White007(m): 11:45pm On Mar 24, 2016 |
Open your mouth. If talking gets you nowhere then you need to face that what you want and what they want are diametrically opposed, and split amicably. The point is compatablility. If one partner wants sex and the other doesn't that is a problem. Especially when those contraints were not agreed upon prior to marriage. |
Re: How Does It Happen In Your Home, Is Your Marriage This Messed Up? by Bluffly: 1:13am On Mar 25, 2016 |
Wives are the forerunners of sex refusal in marriage while men who thinks money does it all takes after them as runner up. Mr, my advice to you is that do not ask her for sex again. You can stay off her for 3 months or more. I bet you if you've done no wrong to deserve her attitude she might start feeling neglected. Malice is bad but only discuss important things with her till she starts feeling she has offended you. If you do not face your problems squarely they will face you octagonally. 1 Like |
Re: How Does It Happen In Your Home, Is Your Marriage This Messed Up? by Bluffly: 2:17am On Mar 25, 2016 |
White007: Sex in marriage is not meant to have a timetable therefore needs not to be agreed upon. It is written in the bible that it is better to marry than to burn. Just do it reasonably and not like a favour |
Re: How Does It Happen In Your Home, Is Your Marriage This Messed Up? by stevecantrell: 4:57am On Mar 25, 2016 |
In Larry Blackmon's voice *Single Life* |
Re: How Does It Happen In Your Home, Is Your Marriage This Messed Up? by pinkiberry(m): 8:41am On Mar 25, 2016 |
ANANABA000:am a woman and am telling u now that your wife is cheating on u with another man . 3 Likes |
Re: How Does It Happen In Your Home, Is Your Marriage This Messed Up? by Nobody: 9:29am On Mar 25, 2016 |
pinkiberry: Is this a joke or what? 6 Likes |
Re: How Does It Happen In Your Home, Is Your Marriage This Messed Up? by pinkiberry(m): 9:31am On Mar 25, 2016 |
Ujoan:isn't it obvious she z cheating. |
Re: How Does It Happen In Your Home, Is Your Marriage This Messed Up? by Pidggin(f): 10:23am On Mar 25, 2016 |
pinkiberry: OP, this is why you should desist from posting your private issues on a public forum like this, unless you want to break your home. 7 Likes |
Re: How Does It Happen In Your Home, Is Your Marriage This Messed Up? by RiloKiley: 10:34am On Mar 25, 2016 |
pinkiberry: Ujoan: The thing tire me 1 Like |
Re: How Does It Happen In Your Home, Is Your Marriage This Messed Up? by armyofone(m): 12:14pm On Mar 25, 2016 |
Try take your mind off sex for some time. Granted house help is doing the big house work, you should join her in the small house work she does. Help getting kids ready for the night, join in preparation of dinner, shower kids, read to them, watch TV and chat about current issues like political, whats happening around town, in the country, foreign news, watch movies and ask babes what do think about the movie etc. Buy her stuff, magazines, sweet mouthy food/snack, chocolate, flowers, her kind of shoes, clothes any gifts idea. Put in more efforts. By the way, it should not be all about sex. Get a good book, read then give her a good night kiss before sleep with less expectation of sex. Don't forget to pray...Wetin I know self. 2 Likes |
Re: How Does It Happen In Your Home, Is Your Marriage This Messed Up? by Nobody: 12:55pm On Mar 25, 2016 |
pinkiberry: There is nothing here that indicates she's cheating. It's very common for women to lose interest in sex especially when they are with a non romantic partner. She's not some teenager with raging hormones. At 31 and after 2 kids, sex may no longer be as important as it used to be. It is time for her husband to help her get her groove back. 1 Like |
Re: How Does It Happen In Your Home, Is Your Marriage This Messed Up? by Bibors(m): 2:13pm On Mar 25, 2016 |
Dyt: i already know how your home is like, you have actually heard those words from ur hubby too. |
Re: How Does It Happen In Your Home, Is Your Marriage This Messed Up? by Dyt(f): 2:33pm On Mar 25, 2016 |
Bibors: You would be surprised Mr Dyt has the most humorous woman ever Me? Man threathen me with another woman? I will tell him I am going to the street too Some of us still got banging bodies oo *this my figure 8 dey enter my head big time* And lots up there upstairs *winks* No man can do me shakara 4 Likes |
Re: How Does It Happen In Your Home, Is Your Marriage This Messed Up? by Nobody: 2:51pm On Mar 25, 2016 |
Ujoan: And why should it be the husband that has to help her get her groove back? and aside that, your assertion that most women lose apetite for sex is a big lie with no single fact backing it. Y'all Nigerian ladies were groomed to see sex as something not to be enjoyed, something you do just to satisfy him. sleep on the bed tie wrapper and lay like a log of wood. Yes, some males are to blame but most guys would want a lady who is "mad fun and crazy" in bed. Let him try introduce a new style or taking it a notch higher and she starts complaining that she isnt a slut and he cant expect her to do those acrobatic styles. What do we get instead? Log of wood, no action, dead style of sex. Why won't it be tiring and get boring? When you would never take the initiative to request for sex or try to enjoy it. Our mothers made the mistake and the new generation ladies are towing that same line again. No wonder there's so much failed marriages and bitter people out there. If the sex was good and mutual you would be 50% more happy and this would sip into other areas of your lives and makes bonding much more stronger. It is a no brainer. This is not absolving the male of wrongdoing but you ladies should please remove the "getting old and loosing apetite story".It's boring to hear already. 11 Likes |
Re: How Does It Happen In Your Home, Is Your Marriage This Messed Up? by Dyt(f): 5:05pm On Mar 25, 2016 |
x240: Scratches face |
Re: How Does It Happen In Your Home, Is Your Marriage This Messed Up? by Twinkie8: 6:19pm On Mar 25, 2016 |
Ujoan:Great Advice! OP listen to Ujoan and others please. It's well. Communication, communication, communication. 2 Likes |
Re: How Does It Happen In Your Home, Is Your Marriage This Messed Up? by armyofone(m): 6:23pm On Mar 25, 2016 |
ummm, generalization bros. Which is worst, men seeing ladies as a tool or object of pleasure, or a woman laying in bed like log of wood due to being told sex is bad ? He should because his vows said for better or for worse. Btw, isn't he the proverbial head of the house Op, do not threatened her anymore or make a u-turn...the grass isn't greener out there. Too much emphasis on sex sef. No fun, no play...eat and shook It is the reason why you see people having too many children. They see big O from sex as a thing of happiness in the same environment all year round till infinity... Odi kwa not good for the psych. x240: 2 Likes |
Re: How Does It Happen In Your Home, Is Your Marriage This Messed Up? by Nobody: 6:47pm On Mar 25, 2016 |
armyofone: You should check and see my post. i repeatedly used "most", "some". does that connote generalization? As for men seeing women as objects of pleasure. Take a stroll out and see ladies flaunting their boobs, backside and whatever just to get a reaction. I can't recall multitudes of men going out of their way to do butt padding or go through the knife to be seen or accepted as sexy or whatever. Take a newspaper advert, watch a music video and see how ladies portray themselves. You are treated the way you present yourself.You want people to objectify you, then you would get that in ten folds. However, don't make this a case of male vs females. Also we are discussing this as it relates to marriage. I wouldn't get the logic behind how a man would objectify the mother of his children as a pleasure tool. Prolly he needs mental help. As for your sex is bad quote. Pray tell who goes about this narrative? I cant recall when a man goes out mouthing this out loud . The culprits here are women themselves. How many times has your mum, aunties or older female siblings told you have sex and die or something ? Women are their own greatest enemies. 5 Likes |
Re: How Does It Happen In Your Home, Is Your Marriage This Messed Up? by Nobody: 6:50pm On Mar 25, 2016 |
pinkiberry: Dude, forget what these women say, while this is not certain, it is possible.. when a woman becomes cold to sex, there's a chance she's sleeping with someone else... If she has not always been that way, you need to really consider this.. 3 Likes |
Re: How Does It Happen In Your Home, Is Your Marriage This Messed Up? by allycat: 10:32am On Mar 26, 2016 |
My advice is for you to take your mind off sex for a short while and get to know each other again. Maybe she feels all you want from her is sex. Take her out alone without the kids sometimes, for a movie or for dinner take a bat with her wit out inai sting it ends with sex. Play scrabble or whatever game the two of you once enjoyed. Talk to her, if she doesn't come to bed go and meet her and join her in whatever she is doing even if she says it's OK. Become her boyfriend again. Sometimes we get caught up in our roles as parents and forget our spouses matter. Sometimes it's small resentments that build up and snowball into big things. Then again if your last child is less than two consider post part depression, it can turn the bubbles and most fun woman into a ghost of herself. Everything around them becomes hopeless and they cannot explain to themselves what's more to another person why they are acting the way they do. Good luck! 6 Likes |
Re: How Does It Happen In Your Home, Is Your Marriage This Messed Up? by elomepee: 5:11pm On Mar 26, 2016 |
greatgod2012: 1 Like |
Re: How Does It Happen In Your Home, Is Your Marriage This Messed Up? by Nobody: 4:28pm On Mar 29, 2016 |
allycat: I agree with this one! 1 Like |
Re: How Does It Happen In Your Home, Is Your Marriage This Messed Up? by olamidetosh: 7:51pm On Mar 30, 2016 |
Hi, evening. From what has been said here, two things may be certain. For a woman to insist on using condom, either she is scared of another pregnancy ( which might mean u haven't made d journey too nice for her) or u might be cheating on her. I need you to search your heart deeply for she might be scared of getting infected. You might be quite unromantic. Little things turn women on. Have u been doing your responsibility as the man of d house. She might need you to spoil her silly. . Then why would u threaten your woman. Why would u tell her u would bring another woman home. Has she ever had reasons to suspect u of extramarital affairs. Then if yes, then the threat may just confirm her fears. Am not saying she is perfect, but u might need to check yourself Ps..... nairaland won't solve your problem. 1 Like |
Re: How Does It Happen In Your Home, Is Your Marriage This Messed Up? by cococandy(f): 8:07pm On Mar 30, 2016 |
Dyt: |
Re: How Does It Happen In Your Home, Is Your Marriage This Messed Up? by Dyt(f): 8:10pm On Mar 30, 2016 |
cococandy: I am changed Btw you look 13 Chai Omalicha poraro Even after one Keep it up pretty Abeg I dey faind man like your hubby oo See as you dey shine Nna mehn |
Re: How Does It Happen In Your Home, Is Your Marriage This Messed Up? by cococandy(f): 8:31pm On Mar 30, 2016 |
Pls don't change o. I like you like this. Thank you dear. @ bold, I'll report you to Mr Dyt Dyt: |
Re: How Does It Happen In Your Home, Is Your Marriage This Messed Up? by Dyt(f): 8:46pm On Mar 30, 2016 |
cococandy: Make I edit am before the most anticipated whumans on NL carry my matter for throat Yes coco pretty Iyamu serious jor 1 Like |
Re: How Does It Happen In Your Home, Is Your Marriage This Messed Up? by soonest(f): 9:29pm On Mar 30, 2016 |
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Re: How Does It Happen In Your Home, Is Your Marriage This Messed Up? by soonest(f): 9:29pm On Mar 30, 2016 |
Op, your wife has a low libido. She can't help feeling d way she does abt sex, I can't tell you you won't keep feeling ds way but with proper heart to heart communication, you may reach a compromise. |
Re: How Does It Happen In Your Home, Is Your Marriage This Messed Up? by Nobody: 10:03am On Apr 03, 2016 |
Thanks for all the many admonition Guys. You're all so very awesome. However, we're missing out a few things here. I never mentioned that I cheated anywhere in my post, neither was I caught doing that. I give my kids all the attention they deserve and they love and appreciate me. Of course I'm not a saint, but I'm better than 80% of Guys in my age range And in same situation. It's odd to have a woman of the house act the way mine does and I doubt that it's due to hormonal changes. I unfortunately have the responsibility of living with a woman who still walks the streets in tight jean trousers after two kids. I've never met her mother after 5 years of wedlock all thanks to her parent's divorce some 20 something years ago. You know, that category of women, who believe they still have "something to give to society" not just hubby. Those who invest in sexy pants and lingerie yet don't have the urge for sex with hubby. That category of women who spend all their time outdoors, while a nanny does all the hard work and have nothing to show for all the wasted time. That category of women who leave home at 7am and return at 8pm yet their kids look like orphans. How I got into this? After two heartbreaks from two relationships. One due to genotype mismatch, the other due to not having family consent. I spun into action to salvage my situation. I courted for 9 months, I was desperate to have kids then. I had a string of girls and she was just one of them. Apparently, she was the one who was desperate enough to endure being a foot mat. It was all about the baby not the Mama. I pushed and kicked, I bad mouthed and cursed but she stayed until the pregnancy came and that made me think twice. Five years down the line I have a home I wish will break. You need to really imagine my situation to understand what I'm going through. I wonder why people find it hard to give it up when it's not yielding the desired love as designed by God. I wonder why I have to live with trying for a happy home for the rest of my useful life when it doesn't seem possible. So I'm not asking for how to make it right, I'm asking for how to put an end to this marriage. I'm sure we have experts in the house including experienced members who know how to end a union. |
Re: How Does It Happen In Your Home, Is Your Marriage This Messed Up? by mostyg(m): 11:19am On Apr 03, 2016 |
What a complicated world? Someone is hating her few months old husband another is not happy with his younger wife. |
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