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Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by CopyLearner: 10:53am On Apr 04, 2016 |
Serenity008:how come many of you are reading with your mouths and fingers? She clearly stated that she gets home from work at 6pm n her husband gets in at 9pm. Every excuse to call someone a lazy ass,you guys would jump at it. Mscheww 3 Likes |
Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by Worksunlimited: 10:56am On Apr 04, 2016 |
BlackAlbino6: My broda! .. Na tru yearns u word so... 1 Like |
Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by josite: 10:59am On Apr 04, 2016 |
madam.u and your husbnd didnt have the right coumselling and u are lucky to now place yourself in a position that you can now be taught. 1.marriage is not a feeling,it is a commitment.a feeling like an orgasm lasts few minutes at most so u cant base a marriage on a feeling. 2.quite often many times couples sincerely do not feel in love but the common destination and the common goal which i doubt both of u has established ,is the reason why couples stay glued together. 3 FOR U TO STAY IN A MAARIAGE,there must be a sense of "if im not joined to him,i cant be what im divinely programmed to be" 4.did u do personality assesment,men like me,get busy with arriving at the goal after sex,so if u expect me to watch over u every seconds and tell u i love u ,u marry the wrong man and i alos feels d lady should be busy after sex,i dont dote others and i hate being doted upon. 5.accept the contemporal definition of marriage ,marriage now is not what it used to be in era gone by. 6.u and him are.not communicating,both of u should draw 3 circles one will be for u ad one will be for him and the 3rd circle will contain the space ,physical and spiritual space both of u must share and contribute into and surrender some things into. 7.after drawing the 3 circles,dont ever encroach on the circle exclusively meant for each other.u may not both decide,dont check my fones,dont carry my fones,dont read my emails and so be it. 8.learn the art of seperation before the legal and spiritual seperation,create an environment for ur spouse to be himself or herself as if they are still single.let her or him feel free to do whatever they used to do untill they get to a point that they now accepts such a thing now belongs to the past and voluntarily surrender them.dont insist your spouse stop a habot by fiat,the same reason why u didnt insist before marriage is the same way u dont insist after marriage.like u said this man bones ,boning its his habit.to insist he stops boning by fire ,by force will leads to undesirable results. 9.are u upgrading his life ,are the burdens getting evidently shared or does he wrongly and rightly feels things jus got worse after marrying u. 10.can u forget about urself for a while ,can u elect to be waitress for him,who only answers when called and who compulsorily answes only when called e.g a bar attendant.learnt to give and give and give and give without expecting any thing in return and u will seee how much u have received at the end of the day.forget urself.if he is not talking to u,pray for him ,continue serving him as if all is well. 11.assume he doesnt love u and show him in spite of that ,u are committed to his wellbeing.waiting to be loved until we love is the destruction of today's marriages.why dont u jus play ur own role,the role of a loving wife. 12.spouses cant be doctors,bankers and all the solutions to your aches so u still need the doctor to heal your pains and U STILL NEED GOD.NO MAN HAS ALL U NEED TO BE WHOLE.NO MAN ,NO WOMAN,UR SPOUSE IS NOT A MASSEUR,A DR,A JESUS,A HEALER,A PSYCHOLOGIST ROLLED INTO ONE,HE IS ONE MAN OR WOMAN 1 Like |
Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by meetvic: 10:59am On Apr 04, 2016 |
@OP you can visit www.jw.org and click on couples and parents, I assure you, you will find materials that you can read and will profer solution to this issue. |
Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by CopyLearner: 11:07am On Apr 04, 2016 |
goingape:I don't see anywhere where she tried to make her husband look bad. She only complained about him being withdrawn and how it is affecting her. Obviously there are two troubled souls in that house. Your first comment btw makes you look like a bitter soul. Is everything alright? |
Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by lastpage: 11:17am On Apr 04, 2016 |
Tekevwe: My take: 1.) He has given you a reason for his "bad mood" - Pressure of catering for the family! Now, different men (and women too), manage PRESSURE in different ways. Some can soak it up while others have it written all over their face! Your husband belongs to the latter category. 2.) Courting and Marriage are two opposite sides of the same coin. Men change after Marriage..... just as my own wife "changed' after Marriage! But it does not mean the LOVE is gone....... it just means it is "adapting" to a changing scenario. 3.) Live is not all about "Roses"..... there are "Thorns" as well, even in a beautifully perfumed flower. See "Life" as NEPA! Yes, the proverbial NEPA which they call PHCN nowadays! Like Fela Anikulapo sang in one of his albums, regarding Nepa: "Sometimes, e go bright-much..... then e go bright-small.." 4.) Marriage..... and 'remaining married'.... means being able to "ADAPT" to another person........... a person whose "character and values" have been long-formed, before you even knew them! Think about that statement for a minute. 5.) Love confuses things, it is good for courtship...... but cannot be extended to Marriage, using the same standards. Marriage is REALITY! .... but Love makes that "reality", more manageable! 6.) Finally, like everything in Life, "There are "Ups' ...and "Downs". It comes and goes". Marriage is Sweet but there are "human-interaction" challenges, which is what yo are experiencing now. It will go away after sometime, if you manage it properly, by "not blowing it" with this your "I feel so angry with my husband" attitude. 7.) Dont forget that the "economic climate' is also harsher on some people, than others. This may be his trying times and all you need do is show "support"..... morally, emotionally and financially Just Relax...and help him relax too! Humans are like NEPA! He wil get over it but the best you can do, to make that getting-over, "quick enough" .... is not to aggravate matter and understand that it is just a phase, that will pass with time. Have you ever wondered-why that close to 50% of marriages fail within the first 12 Months, about 60% within the first 2 years and about 75% fail within the first 5 Years ......... but most Marriages than can survive the first five years, end up being together for Life! I am happy that he is able to "relax" when he wants to be intimate with you ...... because it tells me that "His state of mind" is not caused by extra-marital relationship outside the marriage. So, you have nothing to worry about..... except your own "reaction". Just SMILE at him when he comes in .... then when he looks at you with "curiosity" as to why you have just Smiling at him, then frown your face at him and ask him which one he likes better! If he says he likes the Smile better, jokingly remind him that you are stressed but even at that, you will stil continue to smile at him and that "you hope he will return the favour"..... even when he is stressed too! Trust me, he will think about that statement, in his own quiet time, .... if you say it without any show of anger. It will be well with your marriage, IJN. Married about twenty years and counting! Lastpage! 3 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by Nobody: 11:18am On Apr 04, 2016 |
kenonze: I am not and just responding based on what she said. If we could skip the unnecessary spendings on most marriages. Many men would be so happy. Just imagine completing a wedding and not being able to pay for rent? I believe the way he is going about it is wrong and should be able to open up to his wife on whatever challenges he is going through but that does not still prevent another lady from pushing her man to the limit then start complaining after marriage of the pressures. |
Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by iamdapsyj(m): 11:21am On Apr 04, 2016 |
x240: I will have to concur with you here cos most ladies wouldn't agree to a small wedding especially those that I have related with...... |
Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by josite: 11:22am On Apr 04, 2016 |
Tekevwe: U may have to admit u married a man u dint know too well.boning is not of the gifts of the holy spirit and boning personalities cannot be described as spiritually positive cus there is link between boning and sadness. i once rented an apartment cus d man was a pastor and i thought that was a positive till down the line,one of his daughters had to resolve my sad encounter with him by telling me their dad is an uptight personality and cannot freely express joy.that was the day i looked up the meaning of uptight. marriage will continue to disappoint folks who thinks it holds the key to all their sorrows,it doesn't.nothing demands hard work like marriage.nothing.what u cant face right now is that u get work,real work to do wit ur kind of hubby. |
Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by Nobody: 11:23am On Apr 04, 2016 |
x240: The pressure most times comes from parents not really from us. Especially when the groom is from another tribe and the bride is a graduate 1 Like |
Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by pweetychyka(f): 11:36am On Apr 04, 2016 |
Tekevwe: OP, @1st bolded, When you observed his boning attitude towards his siblings during your dating period, did u bother asking y he pulls such attitude towards his own blood? @2nd bolded, Guess that got you carried away and made you forgot to do the necessary things you ought to have done during courtship. @3rd bolded, Wen u noticed that in the 1st week of ur marriage wat effort did u put in place to know wats wrong? @4th bolded, Dats part of ur obligation as a woman. Even if he bones at u wen he wants to get intimate u must still have to fulfill ur duties. But then u r lucky he still smiles wen he wants to get intimate....do u jez sleep after intimacy? If yes, try to curb dat out...U can try to cuddle him n make em feel happy den chip in a lil of wat he does dat makes u feel unhappy (politely)! @5th bolded, U really don't need to play hard to get cos it isn't necessary! Either U play hard to get or U didn't wat will be will be! @6th bolded, U could not see the qualities cos u were carried away n u didn't date for long ! Negative attitude can neva be hidden for long I hope dis helps! Also, u still have to be patient... cos "U can't change ur man else he has made up his mind to change" 1 Like |
Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by goingape: 11:51am On Apr 04, 2016 |
CopyLearner:whatever you Are! ask yourself that question. |
Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by CopyLearner: 11:58am On Apr 04, 2016 |
tomdon:how did you read the post biko? I saw from the thread that the husband was only soft towards her and smiling only when it was time to be intimate |
Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by precisionindepth: 12:16pm On Apr 04, 2016 |
dare2differ:I don't really know why we keep giving ourself stress. if he wants to be alone, let him be. life is to short to continue to wallow in depression because of somebody who doesn't care. you too keep to yourself, do your wifey duties at home, go out, have fun, keep your work, include business, do every thing to make you occupy. life is too short,. if he wants to be alone, let him be... |
Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by dare2differ: 12:19pm On Apr 04, 2016 |
precisionindepth: Maybe that is you What is the essence of marriage for her in the first place? What was the first impression he gave? She can't let him be o |
Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by precisionindepth: 12:19pm On Apr 04, 2016 |
yinkeys:is he the only one experiencing hard times? if every body experiencing hard times continue to sulk in marriage, how will the marriage stand? 1 Like |
Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by precisionindepth: 12:19pm On Apr 04, 2016 |
yinkeys:is he the only one experiencing hard times? if every body experiencing hard times continue to sulk in marriage, how will the marriages stand? 1 Like |
Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by precisionindepth: 12:21pm On Apr 04, 2016 |
Maximus85:this is good... |
Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by precisionindepth: 12:26pm On Apr 04, 2016 |
okay.... why is the man behaving like that? if he wasn't ready to marry, why marry and put her in stress. because of what? is saddens when women go through all sort of poo because of marriage as if marriage is for women alone...nonsense dare2differ: |
Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by dare2differ: 12:30pm On Apr 04, 2016 |
precisionindepth: I know right. That is why she can't let him be I suggest she stays on anti-pregnancy treatment If she can't get him to disclose his problems to her, she is better off leaving him. He might turn out to treat his kids the same way. If she can go through it, does that mean her kids go through it too? |
Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by obowunmi(m): 12:32pm On Apr 04, 2016 |
juman: Well said. Marriage is tough. You either cope or free yourself. Your choice. |
Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by Nobody: 12:35pm On Apr 04, 2016 |
Every man with that attitude has pass through one thing or the other during their growing up, some are naturally moody but can change. u have know what is going on in his heart. before u can do this, u need to assure him that he can trust u not by words but by actions( i mean gain his trust). for him u to get into his heart be intimate wit him not sex, sometimes lie down and put your head on his leg, look into his face. sometimes write to him what hurt you. Tell him u notice he is moody most times ask him what is the problem, tell him u don't enjoy or like it. don't quit your marriage |
Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by Nobody: 12:51pm On Apr 04, 2016 |
familyrocks:Best advice on this thread to be honest, you've raised the issue with him and no change, communication is a very important part of marriage, you also said it started the FIRST WEEK of the marriage so all this talk about giving him his space is nonsense, space barely a month in? Give him time? Lol. Is there anything you may have done for him to behave this way? If not how very selfish of him and I would personally do the bolded if I were you, if it ends in a separation/divorce so be it, you'd be in an unhappy and lonely marriage anyway. 1 Like |
Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by wendy406: 12:53pm On Apr 04, 2016 |
PresVA:God bless you for this write up. I don't know why some ppl are plain stupid !! |
Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by agboolagunju: 1:29pm On Apr 04, 2016 |
Tekevwe: |
Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by agboolagunju: 1:32pm On Apr 04, 2016 |
Tekevwe:It's possible you have married a man who pretended to love you. You may want to talk to the person who counselled you both before the wedding. |
Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by yinkeys(m): 1:53pm On Apr 04, 2016 |
precisionindepth:My dear, different people different shock absorbers. Some people are excellent handling life situations while some are not. Obviously the man has a lot of issues, e.g. being moody |
Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by ngaal7: 2:11pm On Apr 04, 2016 |
Dear friend, You missed the most important thing to look at for in the man: The fear of God. Way out: You need to be close to God I don't mean practicing religion but being truly born again and pray for your husband conversion and God will touch your marriage and make it a blissful one. Obedience is better than sacrifice. |
Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by Autopin: 2:34pm On Apr 04, 2016 |
Tekevwe:Your husband is a choleric, one of the best people in the world. Don't feel bad or think you made a mistake marrying him. The best tactics to use on him to open up is to get to know the intricate parts of his job...gradually the connect will reappear. |
Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by josite: 2:41pm On Apr 04, 2016 |
WiseBully: LOL.I think its my freedom and my sound sleep is really what i dont want to give up.no one shares material things more than me.nice above average counsel .whats your name,lets talk more. |
Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by Nobody: 2:53pm On Apr 04, 2016 |
josite: Get ready for midnight baby cries Sleep go clear from your eyes by force As for my name, I like to do it anonymous here. But you could send me a pm and we are good to go from there. 1 Like |
Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by samuraijack: 3:37pm On Apr 04, 2016 |
I hope his name is not Uche, if it is please divorce him. he will torture you mentally...my ex that is |
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