Evryone is just makin reference at d present issue,Lets assume d Op leaves him like what majority has advised here,and go for some1 else more financially bouyant now,is dere anyguaranty dt tins will b rosy forever?
My own candid advice for d op,from ur write up,he has made some silly mistakes in d past and he's ready to adjust to reality but d hustle is nt yet yeilding result.In as much as he's making effort,u can support him with ur prayers and advise on what to do,dis is d best time he needs u most. who knws tmorow,tins might turn out positive .I knw of a couple who started deir life's living in(face me I slap u) tenant,d husband was not working and d couple depended on d wife's salary,wc was just a meagre 10K per month as a teacher.but fast forward till dis day,d husband can go to any country he likes,he has 3cars,and oda landed properties.Oto ni iwe,oto lowo. No b by cert person dey use dey rich.
Don't luk at d present situation,Instead luk at his zeal and effort he's pullin togeda to make it in life,support him more with love and prayers,Nobody knws tmorow.In as much as u guys re fine with each oda,stay put.Dont leave him for one uncertainty

Leave this story teller alone and run!!!!this one has no game plan, obviously disorganised and can't pin anything down. Did I mention that he is damn too old for you!

witorwitoutyou:
Evryone is just makin reference at d present issue,Lets assume d Op leaves him like what majority has advised here,and go for some1 else more financially bouyant now,is dere anyguaranty dt tins will b rosy forever?
My own candid advice for d op,from ur write up,he has made some silly mistakes in d past and he's ready to adjust to reality but d hustle is nt yet yeilding result.In as much as he's making effort,u can support him with ur prayers and advise on what to do,dis is d best time he needs u most. who knws tmorow,tins might turn out positive .I knw of a couple who started deir life's living in(face me I slap u) tenant,d husband was not working and d couple depended on d wife's salary,wc was just a meagre 10K per month as a teacher.but fast forward till dis day,d husband can go to any country he likes,he has 3cars,and oda landed properties.Oto ni iwe,oto lowo. No b by cert person dey use dey rich.
Don't luk at d present situation,Instead luk at his zeal and effort he's pullin togeda to make it in life,support him more with love and prayers,Nobody knws tmorow.In as much as u guys re fine with each oda,stay put.Dont leave him for one uncertainty

Did your neighbour to do jail for drug-related offences? Twice??

For me personally, I cannot abide a drug dealer. I've seen how drugs damage people and a person selling it is supplying a bad demand.

Leave him to his cross.

His he a Yoruba guy

Onegai:


Did your neighbour to do jail for drug-related offences? Twice??

For me personally, I cannot abide a drug dealer. I've seen how drugs damage people and a person selling it is supplying a bad demand.

NO drugs No shady deals
When God answer person prayer,even d person seeking help from God will b amazed,work and pray dts d key baba

Yeah ayam cum.min 2,please wait for me

alatbaba1:
Wait. I'm coming.

Hmmmm!
You guys shoould have a rethink before asking the op to leave this man.
I believe we should give her some tangible advise that she may try and watch out for some months( 3 mnths) the result will determine if she can walk out on the relatioonship without looking back.

If God should judge us base on our past, non of us deserve His kindness. We all have our past, let op give this man a second chance, let not give up on him so soon.


Common guys we can change a life with positive

Hmmmm!
You guys shoould have a rethink before asking the op to leave this man.
I believe we should give her some tangible advise that she may try and watch out for some months( 3 mnths) the result will determine if she can walk out on the relatioonship without looking back.

If God should judge us base on our past, non of us deserve His kindness. We all have our past, let op give this man a second chance, let not give up on him so soon.


Common guys we can change a life

omoiseselagba:
.GO GET A JOB.LEAVE THE GUY.YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT.HE NOTHING TANGIBLE DOING AND HE HAS LITTLE EDUCATION.MARRIAGE NO BE MOIMOI.AFTER TWO WEEKS OF MARRIAGE,YOUR EYES GO OPEN LIKE HALOGEN LIGHT AND REALITY WILL SET IN.
OPEN UP AND LET GUYS WITH FOCUS COME INTO YOUR LIFE.THERE IS MORE TO RELATIONSHIP THAN LOVE.AND YOU BE WOMAN.LOLSSSS.WOMAN NO DEY TAKE TIME RUBBISH MAN.I HAVE GONE THROUGH IT.SO DO SOMETHING NICE WITH YOUR LIFE AND MARRY A RESOURCEFUL MAN.

GBAM#Babe,marriage no be beans ooooh...You are warned. Oro die la ma sofun omoluabi,to ba de inu e a di whole

Don't do it!
After the wedding, kids comes, responsibility grows, more liabilities, frustration starts.

You might end up becoming a punching bag to ease his frustration.

Haba,

That man would soon reach retirement age oo. Can you cater for his children alone?

By the time he's 50, your eldest child would be 8 - 9 years old or thereabout (only if you get married in 2018).

Anyway, when there is life/hope, there is hope/life. President Buhari is 73 years old and he has an 18 year old daughter. Good efforts could change his story. Remember, I said good efforts.

enoqueen:
Leave him to his cross.

His he a Yoruba guy

His not a Yoruba guy ma
Onegai, see your twin sister

Crackhaus, you are a case mehnn

OP, the decision to stay or leave depends on you.

Stay with him if you belong to the same NFA club with him. It increases your compatibility level.

However, if you have goals in life and would not want to be distracted nor derailed, pls run as fast as your legs can carry you from that guy man.

Kimoni:
Crackhaus, you are a case mehnn

OP, the decision to stay or leave depends on you.

Stay with him if you belong to the same NFA club with him. It increases your compatibility level.

However, if you have goals in life and would not want to be distracted nor derailed, pls run as fast as your legs can carry you from that guy man.

I only just typed it, everyone else was thinking it...

Jinora:
Hello everyone
please i need your advice.
I'm a 25 years old lady i've recently started dating this guy and i'm having some fears about him.
First of all, he is 38 years old. When he told me his age i was very surprised. I was wondering why he was still single at that age. He is the youngest in his family, he does'nt have a job at first, said he was helping his big bro with his car business later he said the business has folded up because they were no longer having buyers. I asked him what next since he can't just keep staying at home, he said he wants to get a car for himself to do cab with, later he told me he accepted a 20k job as a driver in a cab services company.
He does'nt have his own apartment, he stays in the bq in his brothers house(his brother stays abroad with his family).
I'm finding it difficult to introduce him home as my boyfriend because at his age he doesnt have anything going well for himself.
He didnt further his education after secondary school, his desire then was to go abroad. He did spend more than 10 years in europe, he did drugs, got arrested went to jail twice in two different european countries,denied american visa several times, and at the end he couldnt make any thing tangible out of all his struggles
He always feels down when he thinks about it i'm always cheering him up.
Now he said he wants to get married that his nephews that were born in his presence are already getting married. I wonder how he wants to pull this up and i dont think i'm ready for this.
i really need advise from mature folks here

I think the age difference between you two is quite much. At his age he should be more focused and should have achieved something by now. If he is still relying on his brother for sustainance, that is a major warning signal.

I've missed the point to this tale somebody help me understand... What's this one saying

crackhaus:

A 38year old man na you dey call your BOYfriend, you don't have respect for your uncles?

#Coma
#dead

Jinora:
i wonder how he wants to pull this up and i dont think i'm ready for this.
i really need advise from mature folks here

I believe he can work tins out .....but the question is........
Is he truly ready for change?

There are lots of things he can do to stand



But 1st does HE have a plan?

Life $ success is all about planing....



he needs to start saving... If he does

N uhm his spiritual life has to change too

Na wa o, what should I say sef

To mee that age gap is too wide, crackhaus nailed it. But no p, since you are ok with it. And then again he is well in his middle-age and doesn't' seem to have anything going for him, what plans does he have?
And he is only seeking to get married cos all his young nephews are married. I just don't see any nice or positive ring to the relationship. I'm sure if you decide to marry him now, it'll be more out of pity. While thinking of what to do just make sure pregnancy doesn't come in, that's when you'll know the real deal.

HaneefahRN:
Na wa o, what should I say sef

To mee that age gap is too wide, crackhaus nailed it. But no p, since you are ok with it. And then again he is well in his middle-age and doesn't' seem to have anything going for him, what plans does he have?
And he is only seeking to get married cos all his young nephews are married. I just don't see any nice or positive ring to the relationship. I'm sure if you decide to marry him now, it'll be more out of pity. While thinking of what to do just make sure pregnancy doesn't come in, that's when you'll know the real deal.

Asalaamu Alaykum wa rahmatulaah.

Why all the judgments though when all you need is Love. The world and life na be today so you'll don't know his Future.

I say good riddance to her because who needs an enemy when the one you love thinks so low of you like the op thinks of her man

nubian999:


Asalaamu Alaykum wa rahmatulaah.

Why all the judgments though when all you need is Love. The world and life na be today so you'll don't know his Future.

I say good riddance to her because who needs an enemy when the one you love thinks so low of you like the op thinks of her man

Wa alaykum salam waramotullah

To me it's beyond love. No one knows the future, but we know the present. They both ain't getting any younger, both without stable jobs and the man still living off his brother. Looking beyond his past now, anyone can make mistakes as long as he has repented from such ways. Miracles don't happen to everyone, for him to succeed he must have some plans in place which the OP clearly didn't inform us about. Yes, he feels bad about his past, and then? Shouldn't he be looking for ways to dust up and take the reigns of his life at close to 40. He has a cab job now but I want to believe the OP would not feel so concerned if she sees he is making plans for even better stuffs. If he gets married now since his younger nephews are all married without a stable source of income how do they sustain themselves?
It's her choice to stay or leave.

Btw, is this same Nubian?

Btw is this Nubian?

it is I hun yeah.... Like you said op has to choose but its op's fault for picking him so how does it become his fault for being himself? I blame the one complaining and never the other person. For all we know the guy is out there singing her praise and she's her bashing him. It's her bed and now she wants sympathy for dissing another woman's son when she made the choice to be with him. His life is no ones business but his and hers because she chose him. Now that she doesn't want him she should humble herself and move on not pick holes in his life to justify how she feels. IMHO

HaneefahRN:


Wa alaykum salam waramotullah

To me it's beyond love. No one knows the future, but we know the present. They both ain't getting any younger, both without stable jobs and the man still living off his brother. Looking beyond his past now, anyone can make mistakes as long as he has repented from such ways. Miracles don't happen to everyone, for him to succeed he must have some plans in place which the OP clearly didn't inform us about. Yes, he feels bad about his past, and then? Shouldn't he be looking for ways to dust up and take the reigns of his life at close to 40. He has a cab job now but I want to believe the OP would not feel so concerned if she sees he is making plans for even better stuffs. If he gets married now since his younger nephews are all married without a stable source of income how do they sustain themselves?
It's her choice to stay or leave.

Btw, is this same Nubian?

Btw is this Nubian?

nubian999:
it is I hun yeah.... Like you said op has to choose but its op's fault for picking him so how does it become his fault for being himself? I blame the one complaining and never the other person. For all we know the guy is out there singing her praise and she's her bashing him. It's her bed and now she wants sympathy for dissing another woman's son when she made the choice to be with him. His life is no ones business but his and hers because she chose him. Now that she doesn't want him she should humble herself and move on not pick holes in his life to justify how she feels. IMHO

Good to see you are back

I can't really fault that line of reasoning too. Although I don't think she has the intention of bashing him, probably wants more opinion or advice before making a decision. At the end of the day, it's her choice.

U ve judge well I wl advice u move forward in ur life nd get a good nd serious guy wt nice future than to get hooked and stranded early in ur life pls be wise

HaneefahRN:


Good to see you are back

I can't really fault that line of reasoning too. Although I don't think she has the intention of bashing him, probably wants more opinion or advice before making a decision. At the end of the day, it's her choice.

Thank you sweetie hope you're well.

There's something I find that some commenters are missing here. The OP herself isn't financially stable at the moment. Its not a case of her man is temporarily down or anything like that. She needs to figure out her own path first and then consider whether she wants to be with this man or not. Of course that isn't likely to be possible if they're still in a relationship. When she's on track then she can consider being a pillar of support to someone else.

Her man has had his fair share of downtimes he should be more aggressive towards getting his life back together but I deduce the from the post that he isn't aspiring as much!


Anyway what do I know *sighs *

uhm... he is not working, you are not working... I'd advice you first of all to stop sleeping with him if you are.

this should give you a clear head to put the choices you have to make in proper perspective.

it will also save you the agony of having to go through hell carrying a pregnancy and raising a baby in abject poverty.

as to whether you should dump him or not, follow your instincts.

you've met the guy, we haven't. is he hardworking or a layabout who is waiting for fortune to drop in his laps from heaven?

if he is hardworking, then encourage him to be more and stick by him.

if he shows funny attitude that's making your spider senses to tingle (apologies to Peter Parker), then run from him.

And you call him your boyfriend? Young lady you are too young for this oh. If you eventually end up with him you will regret it for the rest of your life. He has no certificate nor a business this is bad news

Mehn, nairaland women are easily the biggest hypocrites there could ever be. Whenever a lady comes around and mention one or two flaws of her partner, they will quickly advise her to dump him and move on. But if a guy does the same, they will advise him to try and work it out. Yeah, he should do it love. Love conquers all, bla bla; their usual emotional manipulation lines.
Truly, I'm learning how utterly selfish women can be. The rules and situations have to favor them, ALWAYS

babythug:
There's something I find that some commenters are missing here. The OP herself isn't financially stable at the moment. Its not a case of her man is temporarily down or anything like that. She needs to figure out her own path first and then consider whether she wants to be with this man or not. Of course that isn't likely to be possible if they're still in a relationship. When she's on track then she can consider being a pillar of support to someone else.

Her man has had his fair share of downtimes he should be more aggressive towards getting his life back together but I deduce the from the post that he isn't aspiring as much!


Anyway what do I know *sighs *

[size=26pt]Eureka![/size]

nubian999:


Asalaamu Alaykum wa rahmatulaah.

Why all the judgments though when all you need is Love. The world and life na be today so you'll don't know his Future.

I say good riddance to her because who needs an enemy when the one you love thinks so low of you like the op thinks of her man

All one needs can't just be love, this is a fantasy believed by people like Michael Jackson and look where that got him - child molestation scandals and drugs.
All one needs is love...and a wee bit of some little extra dose of common sense to go with it.

Not like I'm rooting for the chic here though, she may just be as jobless and directionless as the man she's complaining about...maybe worse.

nubian999:

Thank you sweetie hope you're well.

Yes sis, I'm good.