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Why Won't You Judge? - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Why Won't You Judge? by 5minsmadness: 8:05am On May 29, 2016
hahn:


Don't long time me. You no sabi ask of person
Bros abeg grin


They also interpret that bit of the scripture to mean that people should speak up against them also. I scratch your back and you scratch my back. smiley
I agree!
Happy Sunday!
Re: Why Won't You Judge? by Ewuro4: 8:25am On May 29, 2016
My post was in terms of everyday lives (friends , collegues and family) , not about criminals and political thieves, that's why we have court of law to judge and punish them.

Acidosis:


How do you condemn a person's behavior without condemning the person? The main issue is we should learn to call a spade a spade at a right time. What is bad is bad, regardless of who is involved.

If we spare a hardened criminal (thief) because condition (poverty) led him into stealing; what about other poor folks out there, most of whom are poorer?

We live in a world where people would always feel insulted when you correct their actions. With statements like "mind your business", " how does it affect you?", I do not think it is possible to correct a person's behavior without condemning the person, especially in this part of the world .

@bold says it all. its the orientation.

That's what you believe , I on the other hand, strongly believe Temporary situations/conditions make good people do bad things but that's just me.

It's not that simple... The problem with Nigerians calling a 'spade a spade' is the continuous rambling and never-end shaming that usually push & prompt these people to commit suicide. They never stop. We see that in homes too. Parents that never fully forgive and forget a child's err, but always make references at any slight mistake from the kid. The reason why it's best to ask people to mind their business most times. They just don't know when to zip it and MOVE ON.

Judging and shaming people is not gonna improve or correct the 'terrible' act but damage his/her sense of security and self worth. An insecured lady/man is not a valuable member of a society.

My child took my $5, I condemned the act right there and embraced the kid. A friends' child took her $5 , she called him out to shame, hit and brutally tongue-lashed the kid.

Think about it.

2 Likes

Re: Why Won't You Judge? by Ewuro4: 8:28am On May 29, 2016
5minsmadness:

Condemn the behavior, and if it's really bad, SHAME the person!

Just seeing this. I knew it.

Do whatever you like buddy... As long as you don't cross my lane. Non of my damn business grin
Re: Why Won't You Judge? by 5minsmadness: 8:36am On May 29, 2016
Ewuro4:


Just seeing this. I knew it.

Do whatever you like buddy... As long as you don't cross my lane. Non of my damn business grin

But it should be your damn business! That's the point!
Or...dont u care about me? cry
Re: Why Won't You Judge? by Ewuro4: 8:40am On May 29, 2016
5minsmadness:


But it should be your damn business! That's the point!
Or...dont u care about me? cry

Hehehe , still not my business unless my opinion is neede

and I do care grin
Re: Why Won't You Judge? by 5minsmadness: 8:44am On May 29, 2016
Ewuro4:
My post was in terms of everyday lives (friends , collegues and family) , not about criminals and political thieves, that's why we have court of law to judge and punish them.
Was talking more about close associates myself.



@bold says it all. its the orientation.

That's what you believe , I on the other hand, strongly believe Temporary situations/conditions make good people do bad things but that's just me.

It's not that simple... The problem with Nigerians calling a 'spade a spade' is the continuous rambling and never-end shaming that usually push & prompt these people to commit suicide. They never stop. We see that in homes too. Parents that never fully forgive and forget a child's err, but always make references at any slight mistake from the kid. The reason why it's best to ask people to mind their business most times. They just don't know when to zip it and MOVE ON.

Judging and shaming people is not gonna improve or correct the 'terrible' act but damage his/her sense of security and self worth. An insecured lady/man is not a valuable member of a society.

My child took my $5, I condemned the act right there and embraced the kid. A friends' child took her $5 , she called him out to shame, hit and brutally tongue-lashed the kid.

Think about it.

Ok. I get your point Now.

I'm definitely not advocating going to the extreme. I'm saying if you see something wrong speak up about it. Don't keep quiet cos you think 'it's none of my business.'
Ignoring something that is wrong only makes it proliferate more.
Re: Why Won't You Judge? by Nobody: 8:50am On May 29, 2016
@Ewuro4

100 likes!

Nice contributions.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Why Won't You Judge? by Ewuro4: 9:01am On May 29, 2016
5minsmadness:

Was talking more about close associates myself.




Ok. I get your point Now.

I'm definitely not advocating going to the extreme. I'm saying if you see something wrong speak up about it. Don't keep quiet cos you think 'it's none of my business.'
Ignoring something that is wrong only makes it proliferate more.

I understand your point too. I'm all for calling the person for a meeting and condemn the behaviour not him/her.

But let's face it 5mins... an average Nigerian's way of calling out 'bad' person doesn't end well.
Re: Why Won't You Judge? by cococandy(f): 10:11am On May 29, 2016
5minsmadness:

Happy Sunday
same to you
Re: Why Won't You Judge? by bukatyne(f): 1:21pm On May 29, 2016
@Topic:

Trick question:

How do you judge a homosexual when you are a fornicator or adulterer yourself?

How do you judge a politician who lied during his manifesto when you just Lied to your wife that you are not sleeping with your colleague?

How do you judge a thief while you are a liar?

How do you judge a promiscuous woman when you are a gossip?

2 Likes

Re: Why Won't You Judge? by Acidosis(m): 1:26pm On May 29, 2016
Ewuro4:
My post was in terms of everyday lives (friends , collegues and family) , not about criminals and political thieves, that's why we have court of law to judge and punish them.



@bold says it all. its the orientation.

That's what you believe , I on the other hand, strongly believe Temporary situations/conditions make good people do bad things but that's just me.

It's not that simple... The problem with Nigerians calling a 'spade a spade' is the continuous rambling and never-end shaming that usually push & prompt these people to commit suicide. They never stop. We see that in homes too. Parents that never fully forgive and forget a child's err, but always make references at any slight mistake from the kid. The reason why it's best to ask people to mind their business most times. They just don't know when to zip it and MOVE ON.

Judging and shaming people is not gonna improve or correct the 'terrible' act but damage his/her sense of security and self worth. An insecured lady/man is not a valuable member of a society.

My child took my $5, I condemned the act right there and embraced the kid. A friends' child took her $5 , she called him out to shame, hit and brutally tongue-lashed the kid.

Think about it.


These things can only work in some countries where child punishment, as endorsed by our spiritual books, are condemned.

I don't know how that works but condemning a child who stole $5, and embracing him at the same time wont change him, in my own opinion.

There is time for laughter, fun, etc. and we also have a time for core discipline. Fun isn't one of those things to adopt in the case of theft. If the child is 18+, I would even suggest he's handed over to the police.

The fact that you used "took" instead of "stole" shows you cannot call a spade a spade. I won't judge you here since I'm convinced we have several patterns to child-building/raising. Some punished their wards, and they turned out as better criminals, others repented. Some kids got spoilt via "over-pampering", others turned out good.

2 Likes

Re: Why Won't You Judge? by Nobody: 1:53pm On May 29, 2016
Acidosis:


These things can only work in some countries where child punishment, as endorsed by our spiritual books, are condemned.

I don't know how that works but condemning a child who stole $5, and embracing him at the same time wont change him, in my own opinion.

There is time for laughter, fun, etc. and we also have a time for core discipline. Fun isn't one of those things to adopt in the case of theft. If the child is 18+, I would even suggest he's handed over to the police.

The fact that you used "took" instead of "stole" shows you cannot call a spade a spade. I won't judge you here since I'm convinced we have several patterns to child-building/raising. Some punished their wards, and they turned out as better criminals, others repented. Some kids got spoilt via "over-pampering", others turned out good.

I know someone whose parents punished him harshly for stealing at home. At some point his father even took him to jail. This man is still a criminal.
Obviously, their methods - which are very common in this part of the world - did not bring about good results. And when you look at the society as a whole, we can also comfortably say that such methods of disciplining children have not been successful in the way that Nigerians are famous for being honest and upright.

1 Like

Re: Why Won't You Judge? by Acidosis(m): 2:13pm On May 29, 2016
Mindfulness:


I know someone whose parents punished him harshly for stealing at home. At some point his father even took him to jail. This man is still a criminal.
Obviously, their methods - which are very common in this part of the world - did not bring about good results. And when you look at the society as a whole, we can also comfortably say that such methods of disciplining children have not been successful in the way that Nigerians are famous for being honest and upright.


Such methods have always being used wrongly in Nigeria. Same Nigerians that punish the maids, and pamper their own children?

Majority of our grandparents used this method in the right manner and we all read about the trustworthiness of "trade by barter".

It is this mal-generation that gave rise to yahoo boys, where parents buy admission, JAMB score, WAEC grade, for their children.

Look at the religious houses, you'd discover that majority of the fake pastors today are within the age of 30 - 45/48yrs. They're all products of the failed generation. You can hardly find a dishonest pastor within the age of 55-70 yrs. The same applies to many sectors in Nigeria.

I believe in living an exemplary life (a life worthy of emulation). A father who smokes has* no right to beat his 12 year old son if caught smoking. Punishment, however, can be applied when a child derails completely from the lifestyle of the parents. Majority of those parents who turn their wards to punching bags failed to build a good foundation.

1 Like

Re: Why Won't You Judge? by bukatyne(f): 3:12pm On May 29, 2016
Acidosis:


Such methods have always being used wrongly in Nigeria. Same Nigerians that punish the maids, and pamper their own children?

Majority of our grandparents used this method in the right manner and we all read about the trustworthiness of "trade by barter".

It is this mal-generation that gave rise to yahoo boys, where parents buy admission, JAMB score, WAEC grade, for their children.

Look at the religious houses, you'd discover that majority of the fake pastors today are within the age of 30 - 45/48yrs. They're all products of the failed generation. You can hardly find a dishonest pastor within the age of 55-70 yrs. The same applies to many sectors in Nigeria.

I believe in living an exemplary life (a life worthy of emulation). A father who smokes have no right to beat his 12 year old son if caught smoking. Punishment, however, can be applied when a child derails completely from the lifestyle of the parents. Majority of those parents who turn their wards to punching bags failed to build a good foundation.

@ bold:

Strange.

You mean all the dishonest politicians etc. Are all 30 - 48yrs??

1 Like

Re: Why Won't You Judge? by Acidosis(m): 3:19pm On May 29, 2016
bukatyne:


@ bold:

Strange.

You mean all the dishonest politicians etc. Are all 30 - 48yrs??

Politicians all over the world thrive on lies. It is a dirty game, hence cannot obtain in a morality discourse.

I used pastors because they are generally viewed as morally upright people.

Also, look at the higher institutions today in Nigeria, you can hardly find an old Prof taking bribe for exam upgrade, etc. The young Lecturers - products of yahoo & miracle centres are the main practitioners of sex/money for grade.
Re: Why Won't You Judge? by Nobody: 3:37pm On May 29, 2016
Acidosis:


Such methods have always being used wrongly in Nigeria. Same Nigerians that punish the maids, and pamper their own children?

Majority of our grandparents used this method in the right manner and we all read about the trustworthiness of "trade by barter".

It is this mal-generation that gave rise to yahoo boys, where parents buy admission, JAMB score, WAEC grade, for their children.

Look at the religious houses, you'd discover that majority of the fake pastors today are within the age of 30 - 45/48yrs. They're all products of the failed generation. You can hardly find a dishonest pastor within the age of 55-70 yrs. The same applies to many sectors in Nigeria.

I believe in living an exemplary life (a life worthy of emulation). A father who smokes has* no right to beat his 12 year old son if caught smoking. Punishment, however, can be applied when a child derails completely from the lifestyle of the parents. Majority of those parents who turn their wards to punching bags failed to build a good foundation.

How old are GEJ and Buhari again and the rest of their cohorts? grin

1 Like

Re: Why Won't You Judge? by Acidosis(m): 3:50pm On May 29, 2016
Mindfulness:


How old are GEJ and Buhari again and the rest of their cohorts? grin

Politicians are generally dishonest. They thrive on lies, so we can't use those as case studies
Re: Why Won't You Judge? by Nobody: 4:10pm On May 29, 2016
Acidosis:


Politicians are generally dishonest. They thrive on lies, so we can't use those as case studies

Well, according to your line of argument previously, it is all about upbringing and the older generation was so much better. Unfortunately, even they failed to raise worthy leaders.

1 Like

Re: Why Won't You Judge? by VictorRomanov: 8:47am On Jun 10, 2016
crackhaus:
5minsmadness, why did you choose this moniker?
It doesn't reflect well on ya bro, surely you don't want people to feel you weren't thinking when you chose it.

5minsmadness, you most certainly have traces of madness for you to choose this moniker. What normal person calls himself 5minsmadness?
You're just an insane lunatic.





Which of those two above do you prefer @5minsmadness?


Here in lies the difference between correcting and judging!

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