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Mature Advice Please !!! - Family - Nairaland

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Married Ladies I Need Your Advice Please / In A Dilemma, Advice Please / Mature Advice Only....... Help! (2) (3) (4)

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Mature Advice Please !!! by victovrry(m): 11:59pm On Jun 04, 2016
It has been three years of our marriage now, I have been the one always saying sorry as a man due to the fact that I always want a happy home; she has been refusing kissing after our marriage which she knew I love most before we got married; she don't care about me as I do to her, can I say shes doing this intentionally to achieve something ? We are expecting the second baby now ; Men in the house I need advice that can correct this .....
Re: Mature Advice Please !!! by sobastical: 12:04am On Jun 05, 2016
She's carrying your second child... And I guess she's heavy now. To my little knowledge I think it just due to the state she is now, some women can be like that feeling unease when pregnant just try do things to please her. Some medical practitioners on here would give more advice

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Re: Mature Advice Please !!! by ikbnice(m): 12:09am On Jun 05, 2016
If she continues like that, it may mean she is loosing interest in you. Try every possible means of getting her jealous. Believe me, moderate jealousy brings out the best in any woman.

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Re: Mature Advice Please !!! by victovrry(m): 12:13am On Jun 05, 2016
sobastical:
She's carrying your second child... And I guess she's heavy now. To my little knowledge I think it just due to the state she is now, some women can be like that feeling unease when pregnant just try do things to please her. Some medical practitioners on here would give more advice

Thank you but she has been doing this before our first child and pastor adviced I should continue make her happy...all that has been done and no better changes..I finance my home why will I suffer in silence with this ?
Re: Mature Advice Please !!! by princefunmmy(m): 12:22am On Jun 05, 2016
Don't forget to pray!
Even at that, Try and remember the things or specific thing you did for her before you got married and she just gave you a hug and a kiss... Try that if it will work.. If not, dialogue and know the reason for the sudden change before you begin to misfire and read a wrong meaning to her attitude, if it doesn't work, you could just ask her friends little question if she has complain of anything to them

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Re: Mature Advice Please !!! by sobastical: 12:42am On Jun 05, 2016
victovrry:


Thank you but she has been doing this before our first child and pastor adviced I should continue make her happy...all that has been done and no better changes..I finance my home why will I suffer in silence with this ?


Fast and pray, that's the only thing I think you lack, settle it in place of prayer sir and am sure God will surely prove Himself over your home

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Re: Mature Advice Please !!! by Nobody: 3:51am On Jun 05, 2016
..@ op you fail to elaborate on how you meet and convince your wife to marry you.

how long did you date before you decided to marry her?

did you entice her with material things in order to marry you?

did you promise her some benefits if she agrees to marry you?

was she under pressure from her family to marry you?

did she agree to marry you cos age is no longer on her side?

...you see, if you can answer some of these questions it'll throw more lights on the course of your predicaments and probably you should be able to get some useful advice

...." don't mind does that commented above me that said you must fast and pray or did you told them you've not been praying,,, they probably have no clue on family matters.

""" if you marry a woman that belongs to someone els you'll have emotional torture as long as the marriage last

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Re: Mature Advice Please !!! by thorpido(m): 8:12am On Jun 05, 2016
What was your relationship like before you married?Was she kissing before and stopped?Have you checked your breath?

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Re: Mature Advice Please !!! by Blade21: 10:48am On Jun 05, 2016
victovrry:


Thank you but she has been doing this before our first child and pastor adviced I should continue make her happy...all that has been done and no better changes..I finance my home why will I suffer in silence with this ?
have you ever talked to her about this, y not check your breathe it may not be so fresh but most importantly talk to her about it seriously communication is key in marriage
Re: Mature Advice Please !!! by victovrry(m): 12:17pm On Jun 05, 2016
carmag:
..@ op you fail to elaborate on how you meet and convince your wife to marry you.

how long did you date before you decided to marry her?

did you entice her with material things in order to marry you?

did you promise her some benefits if she agrees to marry you?

was she under pressure from her family to marry you?

did she agree to marry you cos age is no longer on her side?

...you see, if you can answer some of these questions it'll throw more lights on the course of your predicaments and probably you should be able to get some useful advice

...." don't mind does that commented above me that said you must fast and pray or did you told them you've not been praying,,, they probably have no clue on family matters.

""" if you marry a woman that belongs to someone els you'll have emotional torture as long as the marriage last

We met during a christian gathering, had three years of courtship before the marriage, I never gave her money until after one year of the the courtship which made me to know she wasn't after my money, I didn't force her into the marriage either, neither she was under any family pressure. She took me to her parent herself...she's no more like what I married
Re: Mature Advice Please !!! by victovrry(m): 12:20pm On Jun 05, 2016
Blade21:
have you ever talked to her about this, y not check your breathe it may not be so fresh but most importantly talk to her about it seriously communication is key in marriage

If I could see any man who knows how to talk to any woman I think I'm one of them....she will keep asking what is the issue ? I think gentle act is not helping
Re: Mature Advice Please !!! by victovrry(m): 12:22pm On Jun 05, 2016
thorpido:
What was your relationship like before you married?Was she kissing before and stopped?Have you checked your breath.

Yes she did and she never complained about it...never do I have any negative breathing or mouth odors...
Re: Mature Advice Please !!! by Nobody: 1:27pm On Jun 05, 2016
When a woman is pregnant, so many things change. So I will advise you to overlook anything she does, that's to show that you love her.
but op I pray for your type of husband o. lolz.

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Re: Mature Advice Please !!! by Nobody: 1:29pm On Jun 05, 2016
ikbnice:
If she continues like that, it may mean she is loosing interest in you. Try every possible means of getting her jealous. Believe me, moderate jealousy brings out the best in any woman.
jealous ke? I hope its not what am thinking.
Re: Mature Advice Please !!! by thorpido(m): 1:31pm On Jun 05, 2016
Pregnancy and taking care of a child takes a toll on some women and could change their moods.I want to believe your wife's change of attitude is due to something external and not you in particular.
If you have tried talking to her and she's not yielding,maybe you should talk to someone she respects and trusts about it.

3 Likes

Re: Mature Advice Please !!! by phykiesexy: 2:24pm On Jun 05, 2016
I think u have mouth odour. Even if she say it is fine. She may not want to hurt ur feelings. Y not go to a dentist and find out urself. Some people can taste saliva. So if she is one of Dem, just forget about kissing. If u have lived together for 3 years without kissing, I don't think u av a problem again.
Re: Mature Advice Please !!! by victovrry(m): 2:32pm On Jun 05, 2016
phykiesexy:
I think u have mouth odour. Even if she say it is fine. She may not want to hurt ur feelings. Y not go to a dentist and find out urself. Some people can taste saliva. So if she is one of Dem, just forget about kissing. If u have lived together for 3 years without kissing, I don't think u av a problem again.

Sometimes when you think you can handle a situation, you keep it to yourself but when it is getting out of hand you have nothing to do than to come out openly like this and seek for reasonable advice's... I must tell you I'm a kind who don't play with health issues, well brought up and thank God she wasn't the only woman I dated before marriage.. And I don't date someone I know I can't marry. So I know that I don't have mouth odor sir

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Re: Mature Advice Please !!! by janvier27(m): 2:48pm On Jun 05, 2016
We all react to stress in different ways. Since she knows that area na your speciality, don't make any fuss about it. Remain the loving and caring husband and continue to provide adequately for your family. But most importantly, continue to develop yourself and distinguish yourself in what you do. It will get to a time she go de chase u about with her lips.

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Re: Mature Advice Please !!! by TheArchangel(f): 3:01pm On Jun 05, 2016
Are you good looking enough I mean..I wouldn't like to kiss Oshiomole for anything in the world.

How do you mean by " she doesn't care about me?"

Have you ever had a major quarrel?
What is the age different between you two.?
Re: Mature Advice Please !!! by victovrry(m): 3:01pm On Jun 05, 2016
Thanks to everyone that have contributed in this my post..I have one way or the other learn something new... Thanks a lot
Re: Mature Advice Please !!! by lovinam: 3:04pm On Jun 05, 2016
When a woman clams up like that It simply means she is hurting. Think back to when you had a misunderstanding that hurt her deeply. Find a way to make her open up.
I'm sorry that It might also be that you are not satisfying her in bed, so she's like whatever. You need to think deep and hard bro

1 Like

Re: Mature Advice Please !!! by victovrry(m): 3:10pm On Jun 05, 2016
TheArchangel:
Are you good looking enough I mean..I wouldn't like to kiss Oshiomole for anything in the world.

How do you mean by " she doesn't care about me?"

Have you ever had a major quarrel?
What is the age different between you two.?


I know as a woman, you wouldn't have accepted a man who looks like what you mentioned talkless of going into marriage with him...I mean she's not caring as a wife to husband. I can tell you that I look even into her nails and tell her its time to cut it...I'm a caring man who want that also in return. There is no marriage without conflicts but once it has been settled, you should forget about it if you want a happy home...I'm 6years older than her
Re: Mature Advice Please !!! by victovrry(m): 3:16pm On Jun 05, 2016
lovinam:
When a woman clams up like that It simply means she is hurting. Think back to when you had a misunderstanding that hurt her deeply. Find a way to make her open up.
I'm sorry that It might also be that you are not satisfying her in bed, so she's like whatever. You need to think deep and hard bro

Thank you for this but I want to tell you that non of the women I dated ever complained of my action on bed.. I'm not someone who rush into action on bed...I don't joke with pre-intimacy... That is why I'm also complaining of kissing..I have thought of many things sir before coming here, just one last step I want to take but can damage a home(extra-affair) I don't pray this as a married man but how long will I continue like this ?
Re: Mature Advice Please !!! by TheArchangel(f): 3:23pm On Jun 05, 2016
victovrry:


I know as a woman, you wouldn't have accepted a man who looks like what you mentioned talkless of going into marriage with him...I mean she's not caring as a wife to husband. I can tell you that I look even into her nails and tell her its time to cut it...I'm a caring man who want that also in return. There is no marriage without conflicts but once it has been settled, you should forget about it if you want a happy home...I'm 6years older than her
Bro, stop being evasive about the quarrel question cos she may not have forgiven you. She may have been resenting you after the" conflict " you had.
What was the major quarrel you had that may have caused her to stop caring?

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Re: Mature Advice Please !!! by lovinam: 3:27pm On Jun 05, 2016
Please, talk to your wife. She is hurting, something is hurting her and if you don't address it now it will blow up in your faces.

Maybe she doesn't like slow and steady, she might love to be grabbed anywhere. Think bro, people don't change over nothing.
victovrry:


Thank you for this but I want to tell you that non of the women I dated ever complained of my action on bed.. I'm not someone who rush into action on bed...I don't joke with pre-intimacy... That is why I'm also complaining of kissing..I have thought of many things sir before coming here, just one last step I want to take but can damage a home(extra-affair) I don't pray this as a married man but how long will I continue like this ?

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Re: Mature Advice Please !!! by Nobody: 3:54pm On Jun 05, 2016
have you asked her?
Re: Mature Advice Please !!! by dahmie2013: 4:04pm On Jun 05, 2016
phykiesexy:
I think u have mouth odour. Even if she say it is fine. She may not want to hurt ur feelings. Y not go to a dentist and find out urself. Some people can taste saliva. So if she is one of Dem, just forget about kissing. If u have lived together for 3 years without kissing, I don't think u av a problem again.
grin grin grin
Nairaland always makes me look like a mad person!
@Op, just try & make d move. Like u mentned in one of ur posts, she'd ask, "what is d issue"? Probably she doesn't think she's doing anything wrong. Is she rejecting ur moves, den sumone has replaced u or if she isn't making any move, den try & make d move.

2 Likes

Re: Mature Advice Please !!! by Randyguy: 4:23pm On Jun 05, 2016
You know women change when they are pregnant

Re: Mature Advice Please !!! by shegxi(m): 4:43pm On Jun 05, 2016
TheArchangel:
Bro, stop being evasive about the quarrel question cos she may not have forgiven you. She may have been resenting you after the" conflict " you had.
What was the major quarrel you had that may have caused her to stop caring?
wats d point of staying married to someone u resent and can't forgive?
Re: Mature Advice Please !!! by Nobody: 4:59pm On Jun 05, 2016
Bros please be honest with yourself, have you been good to your wife, have you been considerate to her feelings or do you brush what she says aside. Have you had a big argument which led to this change in her. Are you definitely sure your breath is 100%.

Please sit her down and ask her what is wrong. Open your heart to her and tell he how you feel.

If you get nowhere with this then I suggest you change, start coming back late and act like you don't send her. If she no send then separate. Life is too short and marriage is not do or die shikena.

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Re: Mature Advice Please !!! by TheArchangel(f): 5:42pm On Jun 05, 2016
shegxi:
wats d point of staying married to someone u resent and can't forgive?
We are speculating here, until the op points out what caused the conflict then we can decipher more from there.
His wife use to kiss before their marriage obviously, so what went wrong?

1 Like

Re: Mature Advice Please !!! by shegxi(m): 5:55pm On Jun 05, 2016
TheArchangel:
We are speculating here, until the op points out what caused the conflict then we can decipher more from there.
His wife use to kiss before their marriage obviously, so what went wrong?
i am saying if d wife has any grouse against d husband, she wuld help herself and d hubby by saying it. She is d onli one dat can clearly state wats wrong. If for all it's worth she has somthing against her husband and nt talking, she can't be totally absorbed of some blame.

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