We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!
Please note...these are all numbered "1"...ON PURPOSE!

(1) Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

(1) Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

(1) Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

(1) Crying is blackmail.

(1) Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
-Subtle hints do not work!
-Strong hints do not work!
-Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

(1) Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

(1) Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

(1) A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

(1) Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

(1) If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

(1) If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

(1) If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

(1) You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

(1) Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

(1) Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

(1) ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

(1) If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

(1) If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you're lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

(1) If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

(1) When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...really.

(1) Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, the shotgun formation, or VB cars.

(1) You have enough clothes.

(1) You have too many shoes.

(1) I am in shape. Round is a shape.

Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

funny....but this rule dont matter to me

[font=Lucida Sans Unicode]Lols

eno apply to me

(1) If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys



^ ^

This is annoying really. Please do not compare me with Uti of Africa Magic, I won't do dreads or put on funny designer suits for any reason.

Women should stop expecting a Davido or Uti from Emeka, their boyfriend. If Uti or Wizkid is what you want, go and meet him, if you fancy Emeka, go with him.

I still find this piece hilarious every time I read it, lol..

This is very hilarious but true

Lol

we know this won't work but let's just pretend it will

I love this . Only if they will comply

These are rules irresponsible guys expect their ladies to follow.Guys put little effort yet they expect giant results from ladies, we be robot?I said nothing is wrong when you know everything is wrong,why don't you put in little effort and find out.

Hilarious, I know. But let's be frank, there would be less 'issues' were these rules applicable in relationships

Florblu:
These are rules irresponsible guys expect their ladies to follow.Guys put little effort yet they expect giant results from ladies, we be robot? I said nothing is wrong when you know everything is wrong,why don't you put in little effort and find out.

Are you a baby?
So you can't say what it is that's wrong with you...

Omomo.

Good thread did not disappoint.

crackhaus:
Are you a baby? So you can't say what it is that's wrong with you...
Omomo.

See them

Nice and funny

The one that cracked me up is crying being a blackmail.