"Love with your head and not with your heart" has been often given out as good-will advice these days.
Each time I come across it, I spend close to 1hour pondering on the possibility of that statement.

The truth is that it is not possible. Whether anyone claims it has been helping him/her, the person sure doesn't know what helps him/her.

First of all, Attraction is not a choice. Have you come across someone you said in your mind that you will never "like" but eventually happen to get attracted to that person? Don't blame yourself if you sit to ask yourself "how come?"-- Attraction is not a choice.

However, one thing is sure: It is only a cheat who will tread well in that path of not loving with the heart(my opinion). I've done it before ,and it was the girls who suffered it.


Moreover, in marriage these days, some couples cheat. Does it mean I shouldn't love my wife whole-heartedly? Some people have actually committed suicide because their husband/wife cheated on them. Is the "loving with head" just for boyfriend/girlfriend only or married couples inclusive? What ever happens in gf/bf relationship could still happen in marriage.

Pls, if you are not going to love your partner with your head and heart, you are not ready at all!

If you think it's possible to love with one's head, tell me how, pls.

First, I will like to shock you that there is no true love that is not measured. By this I mean, a genuine love is only possible after "the loved" has proven, through series of attitude and genuine concern, that you are really dear to him/her.

Aside, the endearing "value" you have for someone and you feel when the person is absent, there is no such reality as LOVE.

The picture you are trying to paint is indirectly implying that love can be BLIND-------which means there is no reason you love the person-----but that is the stupidity called lust. And yes, it exist and people suffer it's deadly consequences including suicide.

Please be advised, that what we refer to as real love can only be genuine when you can point out to certain factors that distinguishes this fellow apart from the crowd------the least could be that he/she understand and tolerates you more than anyone else.

If you think we don't love with our heads, then show me a man that went to YABA LEFT and fell in love with any madman/madwoman.
Or show me that lady that is in love with a poverty-stricken dwarf.

Infact, I doubt if there is any guy or lady who hasn't set certain attributes a potential life partner must possess----that is loving with the head.
A sickle cell carrier insisting on marrying another sickle carrier is a lust-driven foolishness and no reasonable person supports that.

You will appreciate the essence of loving with your head when you realize that love alone can't sustain any relationship, especially as it reduces or fades away with time.

You will curse the day you loved with only and all your heart when you discover that you are the only one doing so.

I'll comment when I see your thread about being jilted by a girl

druxy:
I'll comment when I see your thread about being jilted by a girl

Mark it somewhere I can never come up with that. I've been jilted not once, not even twice. Each one produces a stronger ME.

harsysky:


Mark it somewhere I can't never come up with that. I've been jilted not once, not even twice. Each one produces a stronger ME.

No wonder the irrelevant writeup.
You are yet to get over the most recent

Bluezy13:









No wonder the irrelevant writeup. You are yet to get over the most recent

Wash your eyes and read it again. You don't understand.

harsysky:


Mark it somewhere I can never come up with that. I've been jilted not once, not even twice. Each one produces a stronger ME.

Then quote me anywhere, you have always loved with your head. Loving with your head as generally advised is not the absence of genuine affection but one that is an appreciation of the qualities and sacrificial selflessness of your partner.

The hard truth is, if you can't tell why you loved someone, then you need to check yourself, because it is likely to be lust than genuine love.

Tell us more abeg.

Hi Primus101

histemple:


Then quote me anywhere, you have always loved with your head. Loving with your head as generally advised is not the absence of genuine affection but one that is an appreciation of the qualities and sacrificial selflessness of your partner.

I see it as sugarcoating. Is loving with the head leaves out trust? Cos it is even trust that leads to love, whether heart/head, in the first place.

harsysky:


I see it as sugarcoating. Is loving with the head leaves out trust? Cos it is even trust that leads to love, whether heart/head, in the first place.

Loving someone because he/she is honest,trustworthy, truthful etc is loving with your head alongside your heart because there is a verified reason for loving that fellow.

Loving without your head is a love that is predicated on no known reason or quality.

I read in your lead post that "attraction is not choice" and I am tempted to ask you-------Can you remember being attracted to a madwoman at the refuse dumpsite? Or do you know a psychologically balanced fellow that did so?

Bespiel:
Hi Primus101

harsysky:


Mark it somewhere I can never come up with that. I've been jilted not once, not even twice. Each one produces a stronger ME.

of course that's why you keep loving with heart forgetting your, head like you said

histemple:


Loving someone because he/she is honest,trustworthy, truthful etc is loving with your head alongside your heart because there is a verified reason for loving that fellow.

Loving without your head is a love that is predicated on no known reason or quality.

I read in your lead post that "attraction is not choice" and I am tempted to ask you-------Can you remember being attracted to a madwoman at the refuse dumpsite? Or do you know a psychologically balanced fellow that did so?

There are many factors that could warrant not loving a mad woman. One distinctive reason is that you've not just been or spoken with her.

Coming up with a mad woman has not debunked that reason. Debunk it with any average normal person.

harsysky:


I see it as sugarcoating. Is loving with the head leaves out trust? Cos it is even trust that leads to love, whether heart/head, in the first place.

Loving with d heart makes sumone stupid nd foolish in luv,bt wit ur head;u apply ur brain so u wnt b too foolish nd b able to make quick decisions wen d person is nt worth ur love.. relatnship is a 2 way traffic..u give as much as u take...bt if u r nt getting as much as u gv,my brother u r on ur own niyen o..so is better u use ur head..be wise!

yemsai:

Loving with d heart makes sumone stupid nd foolish in luv,bt wit ur head;u apply ur brain so u wnt b too foolish nd b able to make quick decisions wen d person is nt worth ur love.. relatnship is a 2 way traffic..u give as much as u take...bt if u r nt getting as much as u gv,my brother u r on ur own niyen o..so is better u use ur head..be wise!

Sisi, in every beginning of relationship, you will very much observe the both parties being so much in love (weda lust or not). You'll observe both parties give eachother everything ( except ones who have ulterior motives).

My reasoning now lies in the long run when one of the two must have experienced one thing or the other ( influence, lust for another person etc) while the other folk is still caught up in the euphoria of love. He or she may come up with "I don't think I'm gonna go on with you" when you are not evening expecting it. Remember, they started out like every other love birds that are still loving themselves till now.

histemple:
First, I will like to shock you that there is no true love that is not measured. By this I mean, a genuine love is only possible after "the loved" has proven, through series of attitude and genuine concern, that you are really dear to him/her.

Aside, the endearing "value" you have for someone and you feel when the person is absent, there is no such reality as LOVE.

The picture you are trying to paint is indirectly implying that love can be BLIND-------which means there is no reason you love the person-----but that is the stupidity called lust. And yes, it exist and people suffer it's deadly consequences including suicide.

Please be advised, that what we refer to as real love can only be genuine when you can point out to certain factors that distinguishes this fellow apart from the crowd------the least could be that he/she understand and tolerates you more than anyone else.

If you think we don't love with our heads, then show me a man that went to YABA LEFT and fell in love with any madman/madwoman.
Or show me that lady that is in love with a poverty-stricken dwarf.

Infact, I doubt if there is any guy or lady who hasn't set certain attributes a potential life partner must possess----that is loving with the head.
A sickle cell carrier insisting on marrying another sickle carrier is a lust-driven foolishness and no reasonable person supports that.

You will appreciate the essence of loving with your head when you realize that love alone can't sustain any relationship, especially as it reduces or fades away with time.

You will curse the day you loved with only and all your heart when you discover that you are the only one doing so.

What of marriage for instance. There are cheats in marriage. Is your advice applicable to it too?

Since its nt logic to use head

Nd nt save to use heart
Can we use our minds to love

halfricanadian:
Since its nt logic to use head

Nd nt save to use heart
Can we use our minds to love

Hahahahahaahaha. Mind, I think, is same as head. I stand to be corrected. The reason I've even come up with the thread is because most people think after marriage heartbreaks are over. Eventhough, it is not rampant, heartbreak still occurs in marriage where the couples are required to sincerely love with the "heart"

harsysky:


Hahahahahaahaha. Mind, I think, is same as head. I stand to be corrected. The reason I've even come up with the thread is because most people think after marriage heartbreaks are over. Eventhough, it is not rampant, heartbreak still occurs in marriage where the couples are required to sincerely love with the "heart"

d way u say it now makes me scared of marriage

harsysky:


There are many factors that could warrant not loving a mad woman. One distinctive reason is that you've not just been or spoken with her.

Coming up with a mad woman has not debunked that reason. Debunk it with any average normal person.

Let me pretend that you have not seen my earlier examples involving "normal person" wherein I tried to show you that loving without the head is the worst kind of foolishness.

Now look at these scenarios.

A sickle cell carrier marrying another sickle cell carrier is loving without the head-------Do you agree?

Dangote's daughter marrying a poverty-stricken dwarf is loving without the head----Do you agree?

A 20-year-old first-class Harvard female graduate marrying an illiterate 60-years old fisherman from Otuoke is loving without the head-----Do you agree?

I hope these examples are sufficient?

halfricanadian:


d way u say it now makes me scared of marriage

Don't be scared, dear. histemple is already trying to show us the real path. He is making a point though, but I'm not convinced yet.

harsysky:


What of marriage for instance. There are cheats in marriage. Is your advice applicable to it too?

Not really applicable because you are advised to court your potential partner so as to ascertain compatibility. So, if during the courtship you didn't observe or ignored warning signs, then you may painfully consider such as your undoing.

But due to the changing nature of human beings, you can either turn a blind eye or divorce.

Remember that "lack of love" is a ground for which you can divorce your partner?

histemple:


Let me pretend that you have not seen my earlier examples involving "normal person" wherein I tried to show you that loving without the head is the worst kind of foolishness.

Now look at these scenarios.

A sickle cell carrier marrying another sickle cell carrier is loving without the head-------Do you agree?

Dangote's daughter marrying a poverty-stricken dwarf is loving without the head----Do you agree?

A 20-year-old first-class Harvard female graduate marrying an illiterate 60-years old fisherman from Otuoke is loving without the head-----Do you agree?

I hope these examples are sufficient?

I know the head comes along with loving. I mean when does the heart comes into play? bf/gf or just Marriage?

harsysky:


Don't be scared, dear. histemple is already trying to show us the real path. He is making a point though, but I'm not convinced yet.

Why are u nt convinced?

histemple:




Remember that "lack of love" is a ground for which you can divorce your partner?

Courtship or where (bible: for those who adhere strictly to it)? I wanna know where that one emanates from.

halfricanadian:


Why are u nt convinced?

His points revolve round bf/gf relationship. I need him to incorporate it into marriage.

harsysky:


His points revolve round bf/gf relationship. I need him to incorporate it into marriage.

Oh u like marriage or are u married ?

halfricanadian:

Oh u like marriage or are u married ?

Not married. Just wana get insight whether it is all about "laying all eggs in a basket" (head, heart, soul , every every).

I very much like marriage. Everything I read now is mainly on marriage. I think it's almost near.

harsysky:


Not married. Just wana get insight whether it is all about "laying all eggs in a basket" (head, heart, soul , every every).

Why not and u asking dat? Sure all ur eggs in one basket na atleast na only one womb go fertilize all ur children

halfricanadian:


Why not and u asking dat? Sure all ur eggs in one basket na atleast na only one womb go fertilize all ur children

I needed you to answer that, so that you could refer it to the thread topic.