Eke40seven:
You need to also explain the concept of income per capita, however, you also need to adjust and put so many things into consideration to arrive at a fair amount. Sending same amount to each individual doesn't necessarily mean that in real term the amount you sent is same...

cosigned

yagganess:
my wife's father is late and mother is alive. Both my parents are still alive.

we want to work out how much money to send to the parents each month and the problem is she wants to send the same amount both ways. My issue with that is if we send the same amount both ways then one side will need to split the amount between 2 people, yet the other side is one person.

I feel that to make it fair we need to to send by person rather than the side of family. This way each parent gets the same amount of money

what are your thoughts

Your wife seems viewpoint seems unfair.

But again, are their expenses the same? Her moms cost of living may be higher than hers.

Kill either your mum or Dad so you can balance the equation since your wife is the head

ixora3:
Pray for guidance. And you guys should talk it out. Maybe her mum has many responsibilities.

Pray kwa? Abeg what does prayer got to do with that?

LaRochelle:
When I first saw this thread on front page and found out only one post pushed it there, I was like . That was when I realised I'm actually the first to comment. I now get the feeling all those who get to be the FTC feel. I feel euphoric. After almost three years...

Shout-out to all corps members camping in Keffi, Nasarawa state. Today is our camp fire night.

As regards the topic OP, sincerely I don't know what to tell you. I have no knowledge of or experience with that.

**backflips outta thread**

U no well!

@Op, please tell us how the fund is being generated. it's not right that the both of you will work hard and contribute 50:50 towards taking care of your families and 70% of the total amount goes to your family while hers get 30%.

It doesn't seem fair in any relationship, be it marriage or business except ofcourse the entire amount comes from your pocket..

You sef check am na...

I still believe each should be responsible for his/her own family... Any contributions from the other partner should be done on volition or on bailout basis, where the spouse concerned does not have a source of income or is low on cash.

yagganess:
my wife's father is late and mother is alive. Both my parents are still alive.

we want to work out how much money to send to the parents each month and the problem is she wants to send the same amount both ways. My issue with that is if we send the same amount both ways then one side will need to split the amount between 2 people, yet the other side is one person.

I feel that to make it fair we need to to send by person rather than the side of family. This way each parent gets the same amount of money

what are your thoughts

Who is generally contributing to this parent transfer fund? What is the percentage of your contributions?
My opinion, on an assumption of 30k remittance. 10k each way !!!!

yagganess:
my wife's father is late and mother is alive. Both my parents are still alive.

we want to work out how much money to send to the parents each month and the problem is she wants to send the same amount both ways. My issue with that is if we send the same amount both ways then one side will need to split the amount between 2 people, yet the other side is one person.

I feel that to make it fair we need to to send by person rather than the side of family. This way each parent gets the same amount of money

what are your thoughts

We also give the parents a monthly stipend, our situation is the other way round.....hubby's dad is late but we send equal amount to each family.....as it's a household income. I bet your wife's mom isnt living alone and will probably have other mouths and hanger ons to feed. I think its fair to make it equal....regardless of who is bringing more cookie to that table as others have advised here.

Infact my hubby has other 4 other well to do siblings that followed suit in the monthly pocket-money thing, therefore his mum.ranks in about 120k monthly, where woth my folks, im.rhe only constant....my siblings only dip in as they feel.like and a couple are going through rough times and occasionally still need to bailed out. I feel my MIL is a lil bit of a spendthrift though, and regardless of the regular monthly income for the past 5 years, when generator spoil or tomato scarce she'd be calling for more funds. Even though i feel that's the essence of the regular income; to learn to manage your income against expenses and unforseens. I won't however say that enough justification to rob Peter to pay paul.

Just my 2 cents

LaRochelle:
When I first saw this thread on front page and found out only one post pushed it there, I was like . That was when I realised I'm actually the first to comment. I now get the feeling all those who get to be the FTC feel. I feel euphoric. After almost three years...

Shout-out to all corps members camping in Keffi, Nasarawa state. Today is our camp fire night.

As regards the topic OP, sincerely I don't know what to tell you. I have no knowledge of or experience with that.

**backflips outta thread**

I understand that feeling jare my sister.

I know some folks here would call me stingy.. The only money i can send to my wifes family is christmas money did i marry her to be paying her parents salary? Why is she working/why did i open a business for her?

it depends on hu dey bring more moni.
I suggest if she is working,let her take care of her parent while I face mine.
if she aint working,bro I cn neva giv her pple same tin wit my parents ooo. I dey mad

Dis world don spoil...

End time marriage..

OP, am very sure the woman married you else u wont be asking this useless queshion..
oyibo marriage my axx..

Uwa mmebi...

yagganess:
my wife's father is late and mother is alive. Both my parents are still alive.

we want to work out how much money to send to the parents each month and the problem is she wants to send the same amount both ways. My issue with that is if we send the same amount both ways then one side will need to split the amount between 2 people, yet the other side is one person.

I feel that to make it fair we need to to send by person rather than the side of family. This way each parent gets the same amount of money

what are your thoughts

You should both try to reach an equilibrium.

The only thing you will get from here is chauvinist men calling your wife names or people with zero experience in family issues giving you advice. Ah, Not to forget the ones who's families and marriages has fallen apart also giving you advices.

Becareful how you seek opinion of the public on issues you can settle with your wife in the bedroom ...

LaRochelle:
When I first saw this thread on front page and found out only one post pushed it there, I was like . That was when I realised I'm actually the first to comment. I now get the feeling all those who get to be the FTC feel. I feel euphoric. After almost three years...

Shout-out to all corps members camping in Keffi, Nasarawa state. Today is our camp fire night.

As regards the topic OP, sincerely I don't know what to tell you. I have no knowledge of or experience with that.

**backflips outta thread**

How's the camp fire night going hun, hope you had fun and how's the camp xperience too. I'm a servin Corp member too Batch B 15 though. Posted to the north too buh redeployed. lol. Camp was fun and I enjoyed ma stay while I was there. That camp fire thin was fun and I really enjoyed every bit of it and hope u enjoyin urs too..
BTW, I heard u pple are leaving camp this Wednesday, is that true?

yagganess:
my wife's father is late and mother is alive. Both my parents are still alive.

we want to work out how much money to send to the parents each month and the problem is she wants to send the same amount both ways. My issue with that is if we send the same amount both ways then one side will need to split the amount between 2 people, yet the other side is one person.

I feel that to make it fair we need to to send by person rather than the side of family. This way each parent gets the same amount of money

what are your thoughts

Give 70% of what you give to 2 to 1

yagganess:
my wife's father is late and mother is alive. Both my parents are still alive.

we want to work out how much money to send to the parents each month and the problem is she wants to send the same amount both ways. My issue with that is if we send the same amount both ways then one side will need to split the amount between 2 people, yet the other side is one person.

I feel that to make it fair we need to to send by person rather than the side of family. This way each parent gets the same amount of money

what are your thoughts

Let her take care of her parents n u take care of urs if both of u r working.

Dosent have to be joint. In this situation, I will advise you both decide on what to send to your personal parents individually.

Some time I begin to think why are people not using there brain, you are married to her and not the whole family, her brother should take care of his family you can sometime contribute, to help them, remember to invest for your children or you want them to end up like you,and your wife working to take care of there parents, that is how the slave keep runing the rat race, Wake up guy,s

Tjohnnay:
.
Baba make i send u my acct number so dat u go gv me my own share of d moni, since na family mata i don dey part of the family bro

Begi begi, e no gud oo

Poverty is the bane of the Nigerian family structure. When myself and my wife are successful, why should we depend on our children for welfare...? I feel your concern Op. That's the reason why I can't really save for now. As it is wicked to keep money in the bank while the souls around you are suffering!

yagganess:

Hope you are mindful of the fact that 85% of those commenting on this thread, if not more than are singles who can't even make good decisions in their various relationships. You should be wary of whom you take advice from when it comes to family issues like this.

I'm sure you have other family guys who are very close to you, that issues like this could be discussed with. Reason, at some point in their lives, they have been where you currently are and would be able to advise you appropriately.

All the best in finding the right response to your query.

No matter d love, I don't need to consult my wife before sending money to my parent. As for her parent, I will do it at my own disposal.

No matter d love, I don't need to consult my wife before sending money to my parent. As for her parent, I will do it at my own disposal.That is why I am d MAN of the house.

See all these devilish women... they do not know what to advice... but if it was the other way around... the man is evil...

OP... if you're the only person bringing money to the table... your sharing formulae okay die... abi the widow one chop two people food nii...?


God save us from Karashika type of woman...

tsmith:

We also give the parents a monthly stipend, our situation is the other way round.....hubby's dad is late but we send equal amount to each family.....as it's a household income. I bet your wife's mom isnt living alone and will probably have other mouths and hanger ons to feed. I think its fair to make it equal....regardless of who is bringing more cookie to that table as others have advised here.

Infact my hubby has other 4 other well to do siblings that followed suit in the monthly pocket-money thing, therefore his mum.ranks in about 120k monthly, where woth my folks, im.rhe only constant....my siblings only dip in as they feel.like and a couple are going through rough times and occasionally still need to bailed out. I feel my MIL is a spendthrift, and regardless of the regular monthly income for the past 5 years, when generator spoil or tomato scarce she'd be calling for more funds. Even though i feel that's the essence of the regular income; to learn to manage your income against expenses and unforseens. I won't however say that enough justification to rob Peter to pay paul.

Just my 2 cents

Example of a Karashika type of wife here...

Resurgence:


You should both try to reach an equilibrium.

The only thing you will get from here is chauvinist men calling your wife names or people with zero experience in family issues giving you advice. Ah, Not to forget the ones who's families and marriages has fallen apart also giving you advices.

Becareful how you seek opinion of the public on issues you can settle with your wife in the bedroom ...

I just knew you'll be a woman... see as una dey take una sides...

SGCSolutions:
Discuss it solely with your wife and both of you should come to an agreement.. WITH REASONS

Don't take home what NLanders say here o because when fight start, na only you dey dia...

I think there is no better advice than this for all those who like bringing their marital challenges to nairaland. A platform mainly preoccupied by younger people.

mY problem is not the money, it is the contention involved. you wife should know it is not probably right to send the same amount to both parents.

No matter what you decide to send, unexpected expenses will still arise. Just send them what you can afford. If you can afford it,go with your wife. She knows better what her parent's expense is like.

Then if your parents ever ask for extra money,go for it.

And can your father not work?

ladyF:
Brotherly, this is selfish o. So you want to send money to your own parents, then send half of what you send to your parents to your wife's widowed mother? Ahh ann! Why not send based on expenses, calculate how much both families will need every month, then agree to cater for a certain percentage.

Ermmm....But is your wife not working, can't she send money herself?

It's [size=15pt]LadyF[/size]
again

?

I will give u my suggestion when i get married and lose my father in law with my parents still alive
thanks