Good day everyone...

I don't know if this topic should be in the family or romance section please bear with me

There is this question that has recently divided members of my "squad" and lead to hot debates among my friends and I, and that is; the appropriate mourning period to mourn for a spouse, before the widow(er) can move on?!


Please I'll like members of the house to chip in with one or two contributions, Since more of the members here are more matured and experienced...thank you


Mods ( lalasticlala and dominique ) I don't know if you can move this to the front-page...?

Individual differences

So many factors actually contribute, and d individual involved also

Some people mourn for a year, some 4years and some continue to mourn forever. Everyone involved would definitely move on at one point or the another, but the memory forever lingers.

No definite number ascribed to it but your mind clock.
This is how it works.

When your brain trashes the memory, It only gets deleted from the conscious short term brain memory

but

it never gets deleted from the mind which serves as long term memory and embedded in the subconsciousness. You will remember it till death. Now when the mind clock is ready, Then you would have a new experience to counteror repress old experience (defense mechanism), Yes, falling in love is another way to suppress it but not erase it because its impossible.

The mind is also as power as making you completely thrashing out the long term memory of the dead, depending on the type of relationship you had with them when alive.

Lastly, Change of environment (nature/nurture) is very important, The environment shapes you and gives you a new perception of life. So that also helps in forging ahead with life easily.

1 year minimum.

In my opinion, I think you can totally forget about your ex lover if you have dated more persons you did more with...trust me, when you date someone and the relationship seem to be so fun, you hardly think about your past because you have no reason to do that and when you don't a long time, it fades off...am not saying you totally forget like you have amnesia, but you just don't have it there like when you haven't been involved in more fun things.

aaronson:
No definite number ascribed to it but your mind clock.
This is how it works.

When your brain trashes the memory, It only gets deleted from the conscious short term brain memory

but

it never gets deleted from the mind which serves as long term memory and embedded in the subconsciousness. You will remember it till death. Now when the mind clock is ready, Then you would have a new experience to counteror repress old experience (defense mechanism), Yes, falling in love is another way to suppress it but not erase it because its impossible.

The mind is also as power as making you completely thrashing out the long term memory of the dead, depending on the type of relationship you had with them when alive.

Lastly, Change of environment (nature/nurture) is very important, The environment shapes you and gives you a new perception of life. So that also helps in forging ahead with life easily.

Lucky4real28:
In my opinion, I think you can totally forget about your ex lover if you have dated more persons you did more with...trust me, when you date someone and the relationship seem to be so fun, you hardly think about your past because you have no reason to do that and when you don't a long time, it fades off...am not saying you totally forget like you have amnesia, but you just don't have it there like when you haven't been involved in more fun things.

Exactly bro, you nailed it, That's what I call the heart mind problem or psychology of Deja vu