Have u tried talking to her about it,tell her how she hurt u with that statement and ask the reason she made the she made that statement,communication in a relationship helps as well. Also if she's really managing u, I think it's better to end it now,5yrs is nothing compared to a life time of torture if she's not meant for you, there's someome out there who will love n cherish u for who u are, the ball is in your court,hope you make the right decision.

Vivos:
Have u tried talking to her about it,tell her how she hurt u with that statement and ask the reason she made the she made that statement,communication in a relationship helps as well. Also if she's really managing u, I think it's better to end it now,5yrs is nothing compared to a life time of torture if she's not meant for you, there's someome out there who will love n cherish u for who u are, the ball is in your court,hope you make the right decision.

Thanks, i really appreciate

jenigurl:


Better to have loved and lost then not to have loved at all.
The length of time you two have been together is irrespective if there's no mutual respect and love.
Like I said those words if spoken exactly as you stated are an indication of a deep issue.
Frankly she spoke her mind
Hence it would be naive to ignore this or simply brush it off as a joke.
Seek love ester where.
My two cents

Real talk Dear,real talk

omochelsea004:
Hmmmm, i thank God i am still ok financially the way i am presently, this is a girl that i am the ONLY one providing for her needs both academically and in feeding right from d beginning of her HND program, & she is now in her last semester

she's just using you to qchieve her aim, once she's done with her HND, she will leave you

omochelsea004:
to just dump her like that wouldn't be that easy for me at all, a relationship of 5 yrs plus no be beans oo, moreover av really invest all my life into this relationship, & this lady av really showed me so much love and care in d past, that i can't just decide to dump her just like that, only that she is hot tempered, but while i feel so depressed today is that we weren't even into any argument or fight before altering such word

so because you have invested mean you have to get something from her in the end, it dosen't work that way these days. Look at it from another angle, she's secretely engaged to another guy, and after her programme, gets married to him and leave u in a limbo.

That is called one chance you are know in oyo big time.

H6

omochelsea004:
Good afternoon nairalanders, & happy Sunday to u all. A lady av been dating for 5 years told me directly to my face this morning dat she is only managing me all this while. THE CONVERSATION THAT LEAD TO IT. There was a friend of mine (also her course mate) the three of us are very close, so she showed me that my friend's new girlfriend pics on her phone this a.m, so i was like "how many ladies will my friend date before finally seeing his match" i was totally shocked to hear my girlfriend reply me that is it because am just lucky to have a lady like her as girlfriend, that after all she is just managing me all this while, & that that is d reason we are still together, the statement really hot me bad as av not being myself since then, in fact i couldn't go to church because of it.......... i know most of you will advice i dump her, but dumping her after 5 yrs & all we av shared, & built together isn't open for considration, what i truly need from you guys is to advice me on how to make her regret saying such thing, because she is a type with a very strong mind.

pussycat niggaz are here again, waiting for Paulkillerman to come advice them... Anyway nigga, this is what I'll be writing for the umpteenth time... Women are only used for sex... Anyway, we can leave that...

I'll advice, u tell her how u feel...

But then again, if only u knew how many niggaz are shagging that biitch with you, you will have a rethink... If u stay in PH city, I'll advice u PM me her pic, she might be one of my buddy calls...

@OP the fact that u can't even consider leavin her proves SHE'S REALLY MANAGING YOU.

You're below her class and indeed lucky to have her.

#NoSelfEsteem dumbo like you. Mtcheeeeew.

If you were really a man u woulda give a very hot verbal-slap.

Like "no wonder!!!!!!!... my friends and family are always telling me not to MARRY you, cos they felt u were just hanging around me till u meet ur dream guy".

Walahi talai she go begin dey beg, explain wetin she mean "managing u"

Better to move on now than go into a marriage that will clearly not last. Lick your wounds and move on.

She's only jokin, I do tell ma hubby dat b4 we got married and he says same back too and laff over it, we dated for 5 and half and we still tell each oder dat even tho bin married so it really nothing to worry abt, and of cos u really need to manage ppl to b able to stay wit dem. So no biggie.

omochelsea004:
Good afternoon nairalanders, & happy Sunday to u all. A lady av been dating for 5 years told me directly to my face this morning dat she is only managing me all this while. THE CONVERSATION THAT LEAD TO IT. There was a friend of mine (also her course mate) the three of us are very close, so she showed me that my friend's new girlfriend pics on her phone this a.m, so i was like "how many ladies will my friend date before finally seeing his match" i was totally shocked to hear my girlfriend reply me that is it because am just lucky to have a lady like her as girlfriend, that after all she is just managing me all this while, & that that is d reason we are still together, the statement really hot me bad as av not being myself since then, in fact i couldn't go to church because of it.......... i know most of you will advice i dump her, but dumping her after 5 yrs & all we av shared, & built together isn't open for considration, what i truly need from you guys is to advice me on how to make her regret saying such thing, because she is a type with a very strong mind.

your answer lies in this thread of mine.
https://www.nairaland.com/3165525/ladies-watch-tongue-stopped-caring

guys will never hear word...don't dump her bro.... it is apparent you cant face your fears

Lol she told you that and you're still there. Imagine my boyfriend telling me he's just managing me! What do you think I will do... I will Just walk with my 2 legs out of that fucking relationship. If you like remain there with her. You won't get the respect you deserve.

even if ur papa na buhari, u can not utter such word to me as a lady.
dats gon' hurt u so bad.

omochelsea004:
to just dump her like that wouldn't be that easy for me at all, a relationship of 5 yrs plus no be beans oo, moreover av really invest all my life into this relationship, & this lady av really showed me so much love and care in d past, that i can't just decide to dump her just like that, only that she is hot tempered, but while i feel so depressed today is that we weren't even into any argument or fight before altering such word

omochelsea as a chelsea fan n from experience i will say this, ''THE SOONER YOU DUMP HER THE BETTER''..what this lady said is the truth, forget 5yrs oo cus when a lady wants to leave you those yrs won't count.if she sees someone better she will leave you and i can bet you on that..you said you have invested in her but didn't it cross her mind before she said all those things? its a sign that she feels you are only doing your responsibility. if is the years you are looking at then you are still coming up, my ex n i broke up after 7yrs though that's a story for another day..all am saying is this, everything you have done for her would not count when she sees someone better and the years won't save the relationship from collapsing as well..you can either take the advice or leave it..i pray you don't regret it

jenigurl:


Better to have loved and lost then not to have loved at all.
The length of time you two have been together is irrespective if there's no mutual respect and love.
Like I said those words if spoken exactly as you stated are an indication of a deep issue.
Frankly she spoke her mind
Hence it would be naive to ignore this or simply brush it off as a joke.
Seek love ester where.
My two cents

i like the fact that you are real to him..yrs don't matter for ladies when they see someone better..mine ended after 7yrs due to some differences.
there is this guy who have been dating his girl for 6 yrs, engaged her and did introduction. few weeks back, the lady spent four days with her fiance n left on Sunday after church service, funny part is he dropped her off at her house after the service..later at night, he saw on her friend dp, a picture of his fiancee engaged to another man with pm in quote ''she said yes to him, so happy for you bestie''...he thought it ws a joke and called his fiancee, only for her to stop picking his calls. when his friend finally reached her on phone and ask why she did what she did, she said because femi has been cheating on her all this years and she has seen someone who will make her happy for the rest of her life..a week later she still went back to her ex-fiance and had sex with him n called it goodbye sex (pls which one is goodbye sex again)..the guy is in SA now mending his heart and the girl is with her new fiance who doesn't know she cheated on him with her other man after their engagement..the years spent in a relationship will not count if a partner wants to let go, so never use that as a yard stick to continue to be in one n never stay in a relationship out of pity que sera sera

schumastic:


i like the fact that you are real to him..yrs don't matter for ladies when they see someone better..mine ended after 7yrs due to some differences.
there is this guy who have been dating his girl for 6 yrs, engaged her and did introduction. few weeks back, the lady spent four days with her fiance n left on Sunday after church service, funny part is he dropped her off at her house after the service..later at night, he saw on her friend dp, a picture of his fiancee engaged to another man with pm in quote ''she said yes to him, so happy for you bestie''...he thought it ws a joke and called his fiancee, only for her to stop picking his calls. when his friend finally reached her on phone and ask why she did what she did, she said because femi has been cheating on her all this years and she has seen someone who will make her happy for the rest of her life..a week later she still went back to her ex-fiance and had sex with him n called it goodbye sex (pls which one is goodbye sex again)..the guy is in SA now mending his heart and the girl is with her new fiance who doesn't know she cheated on him with her other man after their engagement..the years spent in a relationship will not count if a partner wants to let go, so never use that as a yard stick to continue to be in one n never stay in a relationship out of pity que sera sera

that hurts that girl is nt good she can dump d present guy for anoda guy again i dont like girls like dat

Why femi sef cheat on am na? If a guy cheat i move on nd wateva i do next is non of his business nt goin bck even if its construction sex or make up sex

omochelsea004:
Good afternoon nairalanders, & happy Sunday to u all. A lady av been dating for 5 years told me directly to my face this morning dat she is only managing me all this while. THE CONVERSATION THAT LEAD TO IT. There was a friend of mine (also her course mate) the three of us are very close, so she showed me that my friend's new girlfriend pics on her phone this a.m, so i was like "how many ladies will my friend date before finally seeing his match" i was totally shocked to hear my girlfriend reply me that is it because am just lucky to have a lady like her as girlfriend, that after all she is just managing me all this while, & that that is d reason we are still together, the statement really hot me bad as av not being myself since then, in fact i couldn't go to church because of it.......... i know most of you will advice i dump her, but dumping her after 5 yrs & all we av shared, & built together isn't open for considration, what i truly need from you guys is to advice me on how to make her regret saying such thing, because she is a type with a very strong mind.

you deserve a hot slap because you're so stup!!!!!d, a girl you call a gf told you she's managing you and you are still considering going ahead to date her seriously? well you have been pussiiiwhipped. dummmmmbmofo, you better start seeing her as a side punk and find someonebthat will value you. You have no respect for yourself.

I will not judge op's gf till i hear d lady side of d story op cant b a saint there must av been things op has done dat he wont say now dat made d girl make such statement.


FOR EVERY ACTION COMES EQUAL OR OPPOSITE REACTION

THERE MUST BE AN ACTION FIRST BEFORE REACTION

SO I WILL WAIT TO HEAR FROM THE GF THE ACTION OF OP THAT BROUGHT ABOUT THAT REACTION

OP U DID SOMETHING U AINT SAYING TO US.

Vivos:
Have u tried talking to her about it,tell her how she hurt u with that statement and ask the reason she made the she made that statement,communication in a relationship helps as well. Also if she's really managing u, I think it's better to end it now,5yrs is nothing compared to a life time of torture if she's not meant for you, there's someome out there who will love n cherish u for who u are, the ball is in your court,hope you make the right decision.

Best advice... Make a mature meal out of it as advised. Let 2-3 days pass before the showdown talk. Within this period, reduce communications and interest.

halfricanadian:


that hurts that girl is nt good she can dump d present guy for anoda guy again i dont like girls like dat

Why femi sef cheat on am na? If a guy cheat i move on nd wateva i do next is non of his business nt goin bck even if its construction sex or make up sex

yeah my thought as well, am not I'm support of the femi or the girl leaving him for the other guy, my only annoyance in the whole stuff is the new fiance who she cheated on..that's wa got me pissed..tomorrow it means if she v issues with her new fiance or if they r married by then, she can fall back on femi.

schumastic:


yeah my thought as well, am not I'm support of the femi or the girl leaving him for the other guy, my only annoyance in the whole stuff is the new fiance who she cheated on..that's wa got me pissed..tomorrow it means if she v issues with her new fiance or if they r married by then, she can fall back on femi.

Dats if femi accepts her bck

Bt most guy can sayin dey wanna purnish her like av sex nd dump her before u kno it he falls in love nd den she dumps him again circular love life

[quote author=omochelsea004 post=47170378]to just dump her like that wouldn't be that easy for me at all, a relationship of 5 yrs plus no be beans oo, moreover av really invest all my life into this relationship, & this lady av really showed me so much love and care in d past, that i can't just decide to dump her just like that, only that she is hot tempered, but while i feel so depressed today is that we weren't even into any argument or fight before altering such word[/quo



talk to her ask her what she mearnt. let her tell you what is paining her. ask her if she wants the relationship or not that what she said broke your hrt. u cannot na marry her cus u invested in her or cus u guys have dated for 5yrs. nahh if u marry her cus of that when she cee some1 that shes not managing she will leave you. then you wee come to nairalanders with a thread MY WIFE IS CHEATING ON ME AND I LOVE HER SOO MUCH AND HAVE INVESTED MY LIFE ON HER WHAT DOO I DO.

halfricanadian:



Dats if femi accepts her bck

Bt most guy can sayin dey wanna purnish her like av sex nd dump her before u kno it he falls in love nd den she dumps him again circular love life

any guy who does that needs to have his head check, as for me, i believe relationship is overrated.

schumastic:


any guy who does that needs to have his head check, as for me, i believe relationship is overrated.

lol dats wat u say

My dear women re blabber mouths dey tend to blurt out tinx dey don't mean to receive praises from der boo and to mk sure he values ha..ignore ha rantin its normal
We're complicated beings and our tongues re weapons fr warfare

Some men and inferiority complex sef. OP, if she tells you she's being managing you, you too tell her you've been managing her too naa. Haba. Tell her about the hot babes that have been hitting on you (whether its true or not) and how you said no but now realize your eff-up. The thing hurt you cos deep down you feel its true.

And anyways, another thing is she may not mean it too. We women can say things that aren't true sometimes and deep down she could be dying for you.

jenigurl:


Better to have loved and lost then not to have loved at all.
The length of time you two have been together is irrespective if there's no mutual respect and love.
Like I said those words if spoken exactly as you stated are an indication of a deep issue.
Frankly she spoke her mind
Hence it would be naive to ignore this or simply brush it off as a joke.
Seek love ester where.
My two cents

My dear, if I could, I would steal you away for myself. You have stated the truth.

OP if you like, keep looking for reasons to hang on to a lady who is managing you. So, you are not her dream guy. Oya, ask yourself, is she your dream girl? Is she all that? Have you not met better women? Baba, let me tell you if you dont know: you are managing her too.

Better look for one fine shorry on the side to replace her. A younger and better looking fresh shorry with doe eyes and high quality hips. Soon, you would be able to dismiss your "manager" without heartache.

Godmother:
Some men and inferiority complex sef. OP, if she tells you she's being managing you, you too tell her you've been managing her too naa. Haba. Tell her about the hot babes that have been hitting on you (whether its true or not) and how you said no but now realize your eff-up. The thing hurt you cos deep down you feel its true.

And anyways, another thing is she may not mean it too. We women can say things that aren't true sometimes and deep down she could be dying for you.

inferiority complex in what way ma? i think i knw what am saying, & even what am doing, moreover she may not even mean what she said in d 1st place as u av said, i just think it won't be fair enough for me maybe to crucify her because of little mistake, because i know dis lady really loves me a lot, she has also done so many tins for me in d past, & av even contributed immensely to the relationship to the level dat really convinced me of her genuine love for me, so my determination is not due to low self esteem, thanks 4 d advice, i really appreciate

omochelsea004:
Hmmmm, i thank God i am still ok financially the way i am presently, this is a girl that i am the ONLY one providing for her needs both academically and in feeding right from d beginning of her HND program, & she is now in her last semester

Guy she dey give u red light already don't be suprised after her H N D she discharge u like used rag