Hear my story friends,

Am new here and i enjoy the love and advice you guyz share, so i need your candid advice before i do something stupid.

Anytime i seat dowm in my deepest thougt,i ask GOD, WHY ME,
Am in a deep pain,why God.

My story goes like this.,

Am a girl of 26,just finish my compulsory National service,looking for job
It is funny but true.When i got admission,i made vow to my God that i want to keep myself and be a good girl my parents always wanted me to be.
By the grace of god,i kept my promise by retainig my viginity till when i meet with a guy i want to spend the rest of my life with(he resides in Portharcourt,a banker) but at the end what did i get?
BETRAYAL,
I met this guy in March 2007 ,then i was in my final year.we started as friend cos i meet hm through a cousin of his that haappens to be my friend in school.we keep relating as friends till 2008,he proposed to me(before i went for service) he came to my house to see my parents and declare his intention of marrying me.A date was fixed for paying of bride prize and everything went well.Before then,he introduce me to his friends and and family and they are loving people to be with anyway.As the tradition will have it, i spent sometime with him and his people and one thing leads to another i was disflowers,
he didnt expect that i was still a virgin.everything was practically going on well i didnt snce anything bad only that his job takes much of his time
to cut the whole story short,i GOT PREGNANT AND TO MY GREATEST SUPRISE.He lied to me that he is not the one responsible for my pregnancy.
He said all sort of bad thing about me.to the extent of beating and throwing my things from his house the day i went visiting>My father of whom i cherisheed so much died of heartbreak as a result of shame and humiliaion cos i happened to be his most cherished daughter.
Am the first child in the family of 5,3 boys and two girls.ever since then, my life has been hell.i tried killing my self but was caught on different ocassion.
My fellow brothers and sister,i need your candid advice on what to do about the pregnancy cos the last time i heard from my friend ,she said AUSTIN has relocated to Canada( i tried everything to contact him all to no avail,Even the family is not ready to hear anything from my family.except his elder sister that understands the whole stuation .she always come to my house to console me and my mother and plead on behalf of Austin but we hv not heard from her for long now.
I dont want to give birth to a child that will always remind me about my husband and my late father.my life is shattered,i cant go out again cos the news has spread every where.
What did i do to deserve this humilliation from a man i gave my pride and my love to.why did God allow this kind of thing to happen to me.everyday in my house is tears,i pray my mum will last for me cos she is the only person that understand me.
I placed a curse on him cos he just came and shattered my life i find it hard to move on.
everyday,i go to the blssed sacrament and be cryiny to my God.WHY ME WHY ME LORD.plz my felow people,advice me if am your sis.
I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO AGAIN.

are u 4 real ?

a man impregnates u and u feel ur life is shattered cos he denies it ?

get real ! get a life ! IT CANT BE THAT BAD U KNOW ?

sweettot:

Hear my story friends,

Am new here and i enjoy the love and advice you guyz share, so i need your candid advice before i do something stupid.

Anytime i seat dowm in my deepest thougt,i ask GOD, WHY ME,
Am in a deep pain,why God.

My story goes like this.,

Am a girl of 26,just finish my compulsory National service,looking for job
It is funny but true.When i got admission,i made vow to my God that i want to keep myself and be a good girl my parents always wanted me to be.
By the grace of god,i kept my promise by retainig my viginity till when i meet with a guy i want to spend the rest of my life with(he resides in Portharcourt,a banker) but at the end what did i get?
BETRAYAL,
I met this guy in March 2007 ,then i was in my final year.we started as friend cos i meet hm through a cousin of his that haappens to be my friend in school.we keep relating as friends till 2008,he proposed to me(before i went for service) he came to my house to see my parents and declare his intention of marrying me.A date was fixed for paying of bride prize and everything went well.Before then,he introduce me to his friends and and family and they are loving people to be with anyway.As the tradition will have it, i spent sometime with him and his people and one thing leads to another i was disflowers,
he didnt expect that i was still a virgin.everything was practically going on well i didnt snce anything bad only that his job takes much of his time
to cut the whole story short,i GOT PREGNANT AND TO MY GREATEST SUPRISE.He lied to me that he is not the one responsible for my pregnancy.
He said all sort of bad thing about me.to the extent of beating and throwing my things from his house the day i went visiting>My father of whom i cherisheed so much died of heartbreak as a result of shame and humiliaion cos i happened to be his most cherished daughter.
Am the first child in the family of 5,3 boys and two girls.ever since then, my life has been hell.i tried killing my self but was caught on different ocassion.
My fellow brothers and sister,i need your candid advice on what to do about the pregnancy cos the last time i heard from my friend ,she said AUSTIN has relocated to Canada( i tried everything to contact him all to no avail,Even the family is not ready to hear anything from my family.except his elder sister that understands the whole stuation .she always come to my house to console me and my mother and plead on behalf of Austin but we hv not heard from her for long now.
I dont want to give birth to a child that will always remind me about my husband and my late father.my life is shattered,i cant go out again cos the news has spread every where.
What did i do to deserve this humilliation from a man i gave my pride and my love to.why did God allow this kind of thing to happen to me.everyday in my house is tears,i pray my mum will last for me cos she is the only person that understand me.
I placed a curse on him cos he just came and shattered my life i find it hard to move on.
everyday,i go to the blssed sacrament and be cryiny to my God.WHY ME WHY ME LORD.plz my felow people,advice me if am your sis.
I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO AGAIN.

Yikes . . . . . sucks to be you right now

Hold on to God, dearlie, He surely knows the best. Do not turn on the negative side!

@OP

seriously though . . .are u really 26 ?

abeg abeg ! u too old to dey ask us all these questions jare

sweet hrt,

God really loves you and he knows why things are like this.
Dont do anything with that baby cos am telling you that he/she will wipe away your tears.

We all learn everyday,men are not always what we tink they r.
i will always put you i prayer fro safe delivery and you just have to move on and be strong for your family.
Always emember God loves you.Forget your past and move on with your life cos i know that JOY COMES IN THE MORNING,

take ka\ia and plz is there any way i can get you so that i can take you to my pastor?this is my num 07026241696.remain bless my dear

i want u to know dat for every problem there is always a solution right beside it. to be frank with you, not having that baby will add more to your sorrow.
all i just wat you to do is to pick up your life (no body has a say over your life aside your creator), be determined to allow your baby live and do everything in ur power to care 4 him/her. 4gt about austin, he has done his worst but God is by your side. you have to put on a good mood has that will also make your mum happy.
i love u.

Austin is a real prick and he's going to reap what he sows. . . every thing happens for reason. don't consider suicide or abortion. . . let go and move on and to do that u have to forgive him. . . it may seem impossible but u have to. . . sorry about ur father. . . wishing u safe delivery and speedy recovery (from the heartbreak)

I don't know where to begin or how to end it.

Topup please I need one of your sermons, where are you?

dr kitaun, that was very harsh. u probably don't have any idea how hard it is to raise a child as a single parent or how it feels to disappoint the ppl u love so badly

Hi,

I want you to know that you were not singled out, your story is not rare, but it is unique.

I know that I am against abortion and I am sure the baby is very much due soon, since I doubt all this happened a month ago.

I want you to keep hope and faith, both in God and in yourself, never expect God to make all your decisions for you, as he has given you wisdom which you are free to use. From stories like this, I know that I will never sleep with my fiance, never, not until we are married.

I just want to say that this pain is great but believe me, I know women who are married with children to men who threathen their lives and they live unhappily, but for the sake of the children and the pretence of a perfect union.

I want you to accept what has done and not to dwell on the bad choice of mate, after all he 'respected' the fact that you were a virgin, but then slept with you before marriage, I mean, I'm not sure which part you played in that, but that was a sin also, I know you have been a 'good' girl like you said, but being a good person goes far much more beyond keeping your virginity. Becoming one of God's favoured children takes much more than not sleeping around. I am not judging any religious commitments you may or may not have had, I am merely saying that what has happened has happened, your goal should be forgiving yourself.

He was cruel, so cruel he had to run away.

Most people learn their lessons through heartbreak from simple relationships, but it seems to me that this might have been your first major relationship, he took you for a ride.

I mean people are always warning us about how women are so cynical and sceptical of men these days, doesn't this serve as an example? Well, I believe that you will not make the same mistake again.

Okay, the child, it all depends on you, what you believe you should do, you should listen to your heart and use your God given wisdom, after all we are humans and we rarely know the perfect or even right answer.

If you have decided to keep the baby, you might like to move with your family for now, it is so embarassing to our culture how a woman in your position can be looked upon so shamefully yet, all those video women are looked at as being attractive and sexy, independent & modern women. You no longer have anything to be ashamed about, he should be ashamed, maybe it's because he is not there to be ashamed that the emotion has been transfered to you.

If you have the baby, he/she now becomes your priority, and he should not be a child of burden, maybe your mother could help you look after your baby. You are not the only woman who this has happened to, leave justice to God, you needn't place a curse on the guy (considering you are a true believer of justice through the end means - God).

In time, all the awful deeds that man has done will catch up with him.
You're in my prayers. . .

What are your biggest worries right now??

Lawd have mercy , i see acid dragged u here

I apologise on behalf of all mankind, because right now you will definitely see all men as devils!

your story is quite pathetic, but i find it believable because something similar happened to a female friend of mine, who met this guy in europe and decided to have a baby for him without considering a court wedding.

Do you know that OBAMA's father abandoned him and his mother not knowing that the little boy  would one day become the most powerful figure on earth?

Move on dear, Austin didnt create you,so dont give him the power to destroy you.

Learn all you can from this but MOVE ON,

PS: TO ALL LADIES, NEVER AGREE TO HAVE A BABY FOR ANY MAN YOU HAVENT HAD A COURT WEDDING WITH, THIS MAY NOT PREVENT THE MAN FROM MESSING UP IN THE FUTURE,HOWEVER IT GIVES YOU THE LEVERAGE TO COLLECT CHILD SUPPORT AND QUESTIONS OF PATERNITY WILL BE LAID TO REST.

TOPE2000!:

Lawd have mercy , i see acid dragged u here

YES YES YES YES YES!!!!! IT WORKED.  I think I'm gonna e-gasm

topup:

Hi,

I want you to know that you were not singled out, your story is not rare, but it is unique.

I know that I am against abortion and I am sure the baby is very much due soon, since I doubt all this happened a month ago.

I want you to keep hope and faith, both in God and in yourself, never expect God to make all your decisions for you, as he has given you wisdom which you are free to use. From stories like this, I know that I will never sleep with my fiance, never, not until we are married.

I just want to say that this pain is great but believe me, I know women who are married with children to men who threathen their lives and they live unhappily, but for the sake of the children and the pretence of a perfect union.

I want you to accept what has done and not to dwell on the bad choice of mate, after all he 'respected' the fact that you were a virgin, but then slept with you before marriage, I mean, I'm not sure which part you played in that, but that was a sin also, I know you have been a 'good' girl like you said, but being a good person goes far much more beyond keeping your virginity. Becoming one of God's favoured children takes much more than not sleeping around. I am not judging any religious commitments you may or may not have had, I am merely saying that what has happened has happened, your goal should be forgiving yourself.

He was cruel, so cruel he had to run away.

Most people learn their lessons through heartbreak from simple relationships, but it seems to me that this might have been your first major relationship, he took you for a ride.

I mean people are always warning us about how women are so cynical and sceptical of men these days, doesn't this serve as an example? Well, I believe that you will not make the same mistake again.

Okay, the child, it all depends on you, what you believe you should do, you should listen to your heart and use your God given wisdom, after all we are humans and we rarely know the perfect or even right answer.

If you have decided to keep the baby, you might like to move with your family for now, it is so embarassing to our culture how a woman in your position can be looked upon so shamefully yet, all those video women are looked at as being attractive and sexy, independent & modern women. You no longer have anything to be ashamed about, he should be ashamed, maybe it's because he is not there to be ashamed that the emotion has been transfered to you.

If you have the baby, he/she now becomes your priority, and he should not be a child of burden, maybe your mother could help you look after your baby. You are not the only woman who this has happened to, leave justice to God, you needn't place a curse on the guy (considering you are a true believer of justice through the end means - God).

In time, all the awful deeds that man has done will catch up with him.
You're in my prayers. . .

What are your biggest worries right now??

This is amazing.  Now let me go back and read it.

topup:

Hi,

I want you to know that you were not singled out, your story is not rare, but it is unique.

I know that I am against abortion and I am sure the baby is very much due soon, since I doubt all this happened a month ago.

I want you to keep hope and faith, both in God and in yourself, never expect God to make all your decisions for you, as he has given you wisdom which you are free to use. From stories like this, I know that I will never sleep with my fiance, never, not until we are married.

I just want to say that this pain is great but believe me, I know women who are married with children to men who threathen their lives and they live unhappily, but for the sake of the children and the pretence of a perfect union.

I want you to accept what has done and not to dwell on the bad choice of mate, after all he 'respected' the fact that you were a virgin, but then slept with you before marriage, I mean, I'm not sure which part you played in that, but that was a sin also, I know you have been a 'good' girl like you said, but being a good person goes far much more beyond keeping your virginity. Becoming one of God's favoured children takes much more than not sleeping around. I am not judging any religious commitments you may or may not have had, I am merely saying that what has happened has happened, your goal should be forgiving yourself.

He was cruel, so cruel he had to run away.

Most people learn their lessons through heartbreak from simple relationships, but it seems to me that this might have been your first major relationship, he took you for a ride.

I mean people are always warning us about how women are so cynical and sceptical of men these days, doesn't this serve as an example? Well, I believe that you will not make the same mistake again.

Okay, the child, it all depends on you, what you believe you should do, you should listen to your heart and use your God given wisdom, after all we are humans and we rarely know the perfect or even right answer.

If you have decided to keep the baby, you might like to move with your family for now, it is so embarassing to our culture how a woman in your position can be looked upon so shamefully yet, all those video women are looked at as being attractive and sexy, independent & modern women. You no longer have anything to be ashamed about, he should be ashamed, maybe it's because he is not there to be ashamed that the emotion has been transfered to you.

If you have the baby, he/she now becomes your priority, and he should not be a child of burden, maybe your mother could help you look after your baby. You are not the only woman who this has happened to, leave justice to God, you needn't place a curse on the guy (considering you are a true believer of justice through the end means - God).

In time, all the awful deeds that man has done will catch up with him.
You're in my prayers. . .

What are your biggest worries right now??

you are a very unique person. i bless God for your life upon remembering you. you are the kind of young girl every woman prays for her son.  may God bless you and the womb that produced you.  always a breath of fresh air and original in this copy cat world.

@ OP, so sorry another idiot did this to you. i dont know why nigerians do things like this and think they can pray or wish the consequenses away. God will catch up with him and probably end up as one the frustrated nigerians abroad. his evil will follow him where ever he goes so dont bother cursing him becos he has already cursed himself trying to produce a fatherless kid.

the child could be the next governor or president of nigeria. just be strong. apologise to yourself and God and accept forgiveness then move on with your life. we all fall but get up again. there are loads of single parents doing well in life. it is never the end of the world. the people you think are laughing have greater battles they are struggling with too so relax.

may God have mercy and help you through and please please whatever you do dont add to your sins by killing a child especially your own child. you dont want to carry the burden all your life. this is a trial hope you let it build you and not destroy you.

catholics must have a counselling service that you can utilise or use any church counselling service. God is ever ready in times of trouble like this.

meine:

Do you know that OBAMA's father abandoned him and his mother not knowing that the little boy would one day become the most powerful figure on earth?

Naija peeps and their obssesion with obama*shakes his head*. Obama dis,Obama dat. Every topic on NL somehow has to be connected to OBAMA. Na wa oo.

chic2pimp:

Naija peeps and their obssesion with obama*shakes his head*. Obama dis,Obama dat. Every topic on NL somehow has to be connected to OBAMA. Na wa oo.

will using a clinton make you feel better?

Thanks so much,you all are wonderfull people.
May God Almigthy bless you all(Topup) et al.

Girlfriend take heart,  Everything will be ok.  Alot of folks have given good advice. That man that abandoned you will most probably have problems in the future. I dont know why men mess about like this then they start to wonder why they become failures in future. .

Naija peeps and their obssesion with obama*shakes his head*. Obama dis,Obama dat. Every topic on NL somehow has to be connected to OBAMA. Na wa oo.

We're all happy for obama's victory has an american first black president. I agreed with the above statement which have highlighted in bold,because nowadays is like when prople want to talk they use obama, not that I'm jealous about obama or anything like that. is a wonderful man which i really

admire and have lots of resect for. looking at what he achieve defintely we have the cause to talk and celebrate him but we need to do moderately . you

rarely see a person that uses gordon brown or jamie oliver as an example.one of the problem we have is when someone did or doing good we tend to

focus too much on that particular person and not wideing our territory. I hope I'm communicating ? remember freedom of speech, so please talk to me

like i will talk to you with due respect

When will this Obama-Syndrome stop

[Quote]Do you know that OBAMA's father abandoned him and his mother not knowing that the little boy would one day become the most powerful figure on earth?[/Quote]

You may need to get your facts right. Obama's father was a student in the States when he impregnated Obama's mother. His visa as a matter of policy expired after he finished studies and being a man of integrity, and also wanted at the helms of leadership in Kenya, he returned homeward. He didn't abandon him; he had a national call and Obama's mom unfortunately didn't want to follow him there. And again, they weren't married (if I'm correct). But please let's drop this already stale 'Obamanity'

@sweettot

I know what you feel as; i read ur story, i felt really bad myself. i can't bear seeing my sister in this kinda situation, i can even do something much more crazy than what you are thinking.

however, its not the end of the world. that baby is a gift not a torment. this is time to prove you are stronger than you've always being. pray to God for gudiance and support.

please dont regret your actions, God is alive.

obama is not the one carrying the pregnancy with an eloped husband.
face her problems and tell her what u think her likely solution shud be.

@post,
its not the end of the world, sometimes we pass through rough edges, so we can become sharper.
take it as an experience that would turn you to a better person. and hey! keep that child.
no matter what u do, dont flush ur child.
trust me, u will live to regret it if you do.

hmmm

sweettot:

Hear my story friends,

Am  new here and i enjoy the love and advice you guyz share, so i need your candid advice before i do something stupid.

Anytime i seat dowm in my deepest thougt,i ask GOD, WHY ME,
Am in a deep pain,why God.

My story goes like this.,

Am a girl of 26,just finish my compulsory National service,looking for job
It is funny but true.When i got admission,i made vow to my God that i want to keep myself and be a good girl my parents always wanted me to be.
By the grace of god,i kept my promise by retainig my viginity till when i meet with a guy i want to spend the rest of my life with(he resides in Portharcourt,a banker) but at the end what did i get?
BETRAYAL,  
I met this guy in March 2007 ,then i was in my final year.we started as friend cos i meet hm through a cousin of his that haappens to be my friend in school.we keep relating as friends till 2008,he proposed to me(before i went for service) he came to my house to see my parents and declare his intention of marrying me.A date was fixed for paying of bride prize and everything went well.Before then,he introduce me to his friends and and family and they are loving people to be with anyway.As the tradition will have it, i spent sometime with him and his people and one thing leads to another i was disflowers,
he didnt expect that i was still a virgin.everything was practically going on well i didnt snce anything bad  only that his job takes much of his time
to cut the whole story short,i GOT PREGNANT AND TO MY GREATEST SUPRISE.He lied to me that he is not the one responsible for my pregnancy.
He said all sort of bad thing about me.to the extent of beating and throwing my things from his house the day i went visiting>My father of whom i cherisheed so much died of heartbreak as a result of shame and humiliaion cos i happened to be his most cherished daughter.
Am the first child in the family of 5,3 boys and two girls.ever since then, my life has been hell.i tried killing my self but was caught on different ocassion.
My fellow brothers and sister,i need your candid advice on what to do about the pregnancy cos the last time i heard from my friend ,she said AUSTIN has relocated to Canada( i tried everything to contact him all to no avail,Even the family is not ready to hear anything from my family.except  his elder sister that understands the whole stuation .she always come to my house to console me and my mother and plead on behalf of Austin but we hv not heard from her for long  now.
I dont want to give birth to a child that will always remind me about my husband and my late father.my life is shattered,i cant go out again cos the news has spread every where.
What did i do to deserve this humilliation from a man i gave my pride and my love to.why did God allow this kind of thing to happen to me.everyday in my house is tears,i pray my mum will last for me cos she is the only person that understand me.
I placed a curse on him cos he just came and shattered my life i find it hard to move on.
everyday,i go to the blssed sacrament and be cryiny to my God.WHY ME WHY ME LORD.plz my felow people,advice me if am your sis.
I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO AGAIN.

I cant even imagine wat u are going through rite now, must be really hard for u even losing a loved one in the process,i would like to know how far gone u are, im sorry if my advice offends anyone but if u are like a mth or 2, i ld say u opt for a D & C! it might be harsh but u need to ask yourself this, are u ready for a baby & the tasks involved in bringing one up?u ve to weigh ur options you dont ve a job yet,i dont know wat ur mum does presently, u are the first child & a lot is expected from u in terms of responsibilities & decision making. well whatever anyone says you need to does wat u think is best for U. Also i think Austin already had plans to travel before he met you u were just sort of caught in the middle, wat i dont understand is why he went to ur parents to ask for ur hand! the things some men do for a booty i guess, pple who do these things always get wats coming to them , all the best xx

Dr Kitaun:

@OP

seriously though . . .are u really 26 ?

abeg abeg ! u too old to dey ask us all these questions jare

Heartless

justwise:

Heartless

Thatz Kitaun for you

@op,

I feel ur pain, reading through ur post i  was full of anger, i mean, listen, that unborn baby is gold, don't do anything stupid. Austin did u a big fav by leaving when is not too late, be strong, keeps us imformed about ur situation, i feel ur pain, i really did, i wouldn't want my elder/younger sister to be treated like that.

Pray hard that's all I can say.

Swthrt, i can understand wht your goin tru n i feel your pains 2.
I  jst wnt u to knw that God is in control of your situation.
Plz  stop blaming urself n dnt even try to abort that golden baby inside of u cos God has a plan 4 u.
Ausin denyed u nw dat u needed him bt wht if he had married u?
Dnt u knw dat he would hav been treating u lik trash?
Baby,its jst good riddance to rubbish if u ask me.
Jst continue trusting God cos i believe that u still have a very bright future ahead.
I will keep on prayn 4 u 4 safe delivery.
Love u