I was unlucky
It's my stupidity called love
No be God's work, God has given us the power to choose what you want
Be prayerful then God will help you out
Don't mix love with sentiment
Delay might be blessing

None of d above. It's just God!

Just prepare your mind for divorce incase you meet a bad spouse... With that in mind you'd meet the good one.

My future partner is viewing this thread.

No worry, hand go soon touch u.

In choosing a right spouse you must be tactful, a player and above all prayerful. When you have these three qualities your chances of picking a wrong spouse is reduced to the barest minimum

Yoruba folks will say... .Oja okunkun ni igbeyawo i.e Marriage (Choosing a life partner) is black market. What you see is not a always what you get

Intending couples look for unsustainable things in their partners and end up in disappointment. In my own case what I looked for was peace in the home and I got that; plus every other thing. Some look for romance and it wears off, others look for financial stability and economic situations change; yet some look for good cooks or house keeper or sex partner or marital fidelity. When your expectations are doused, things are going to change. Be realistic in your expectations and you'll weather the stormy waters of marriage. Remember that your spouse is a complete stranger; no matter how many years you court. It takes a great deal of endurance and patience.

For me if you see things you dont lije durong courtship, just deal wit those things .if you can not then just leave.let no man decieve u that things will change after wedding.

Its just GOD

Discerning spirit.

Is it Luck? Maybe. Personal Brilliance? A little bit. I feel it takes grace.

You married her because you can marry her. Some break apart because they could not marry each other. So we marry who we can marry.

[quote author=greatgod2012 post=47357211]I've been thinking of this thread, the more I think about it, the more I'm convinced that it's a matter of luck and fate.

There are some couples who got married after about 6, 8, 9 or eben 10 years courtship, trying to know each other very well, trying to know each others immediate and extended relations very well, trying to know each others spiritual orientation very well, trying to know how to cope with each other very well. Alas, after marriage, they discovered that they ain't compatible at all, they tried to make the marriage work, but they couldn't just, something is not just right about one or both of them. At the end, they get divorced/separated.



And in another scenario, we see some couples who didn't even know each other before getting married. They're matchmade,

the difrent btw 2 examples u ilustrated above is endurance frm couples. Anoda ingrednt dat makes mariage last is dat d couples must be grounded in prayer nt to alow satan scater d mariage

[quote author=Aqva post=47318890]Is choosing the right spouse a thing of luck? Or is it as a result of careful screening, analyzing and being rational in deciding whom to marry? I have a wonderful spouse whom I've married for a couple of years now. I used to think it was as a result of my careful screening of the different girl that came my way. Thinking about it now, wasn't i just lucky? Look at respectable people like some pastors and family members who couldn't keep a marriage. We all know that respectable friend who always got it right and who we strive to be like who couldn't keep a marriage for a few years. We also know of people who are seen as irresponsible yet have great marriages. Some of our parents had partners married for them and it turned out well while it didn't turn out well for others.

When i hear of marriages breaking everyday i wonder, could this guys be foolish and didn't see signs? We could argue that people are blinded by love but in reality how many adults marry for strictly love? How many mature people have butterflies in their tummies and are so in love that they can't reason right? These days people date and even cohabit so we can't say they were completely ignorant of the other persons attitude, behaviour and lifestyle. We could also say people marry for desperation but then, why don't the working class single girl be so desperate that she goes and marries a shoemaker or bike rider? Even when desperate, people still manag to marry suitable partners.

Braillance

Here to read comments cos i dont know what to say

No woman is the right person for u, but adjustment from the both sides can make her the right person

It is part of a set of natural laws which science is yet to define. What we love, we attract.

The person we eventually end up with in marriage is one of a number of people our instinct allows us to be comfortable with thus providing the best compactibility. it is instinctive. Its like a newborn baby sucking breast for the first time without any manual or tutorial on what to do

chachanga:
A little bit of both plus a lot of God's grace, mercy and help!

Men hide a lot behind their gifts and cool convos, ladies hide a lot behind their dimples, blushes and breathtaking beauty but God alone is the Revealer of all Intents and will keep you from anything that will potentially derail your life later on in the future.

Go with God my brova
&hav a gr8 weekend!

When Abram married Sarai, which grace was there?

Lucky.

Rexhenrex:
God's grace!

Which grace was there when Isaac married Rebecca?

if anyone dont get to know 60 percent of his/her in less than 2years, then he is not even investigational...u get to know smone by the way he or she speaks, talks act in some situation..if u the careful type , his or her action will leave a trace of who the person really is....if sum1 is reasonable, HOW CAN U DATE SOMEONE FOR 2,3,4 YEARS AND STILL NOT KNOW THAT PERSON WITH THE EXCUSE OF PEOPLE PRETENDING TO BE GOOD AT FIRST AND BAD AFTER MARRIAGE Such a person ought to go to REHAB....A GOOD OBSERVER CAN KNOW GENIUNE 70PERCENT INFO ON HIS/HER SPOUSE.....TALKING 4RM XPERIENCE

I'm Learning.

if u asked this question last week i would have said personal brilliance. But there is this page on instagram that shares people relationship stories and a lady shared hers and asked for advice. She said she was very careful of choosing her man, she observed and screened him carefully and after dating for 3years, they got married.. 3month into the marriage she realized the man was gay and in a serious relationship with the man that was the best man at the wedding. So it's not just personal brilliance.
I would have said its luck but it takes God's grace to be that lucky.. So it's the combination of the 3.
Personal brilliance+luck+God's grace= Mr or Mrs Right

It takes Grace to meet the "right" spouse out of billions of people and Wisdom to keep the person and preserve the relationship.

Tabelachizza:
I think you need both but most importantly ""personal Screening """ cos everything is been on display while dating....

Never forget,,,God over everything....

There is nothing like luck, fate or personal brilliance when it comes to choosing a mate. It is all about who both of you are and what are your motivations and visions for the future. The reason i say this is because both of you will keep changing in personality and character till the day you die. My wife was not the perfect woman she is today. When i met her, she was awesome but she was still rough around the edges. Same as i was. Everything i knew, i showed her and taught her. I did this so as to model her into the woman i wanted her to be. Which she is today. Most people think when you get married you just kick back and put everything on auto pilot. Wrong. This is when the work begins. Both partners must constantly strive to improve themselves and each other. Just make sure the foundation is right. For women; A man of good character who can provide comfort or has the potential of doing so. Women don't care about physical attributes. For men; A woman of good character and has whatever physical attributes the man finds attractive. Men care a lot about physical attributes.

Its called G R A C E

Both

zed7:
Honestly i don't know. Some things are impossible to tell.

like what. Unless you close your eyes you will see signs

Aqva:
Is choosing the right spouse a thing of luck? Or is it as a result of careful screening, analyzing and being rational in deciding whom to marry? I have a wonderful spouse whom I've (MARRIED FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS NOW). I used to think it was as a result of my careful screening of the different girl that came my way. Thinking about it now, wasn't i just lucky? Look at respectable people like some pastors and family members who couldn't keep a marriage. We all know that respectable friend who always got it right and who we strive to be like who couldn't keep a marriage for a few years. We also know of people who are seen as irresponsible yet have great marriages. Some of our parents had partners married for them and it turned out well while it didn't turn out well for others.

When i hear of marriages breaking everyday i wonder, could this guys be foolish and didn't see signs? We could argue that people are blinded by love but in reality how many adults marry for strictly love? How many mature people have butterflies in their tummies and are so in love that they can't reason right? These days people date and even cohabit so we can't say they were completely ignorant of the other persons attitude, behaviour and lifestyle. We could also say people marry for desperation but then, why don't the working class single girl be so desperate that she goes and marries a shoemaker or bike rider? Even when desperate, people still manag to marry suitable partners.

I can't figure it out that's why i'm throwing the question open.

You're still at the beginning of the beginning. Too early to blow your trumpet.

to me, choosing the right partner is basically through rational screening and been realistic. if you take your time to study while dating you are sure of knowing. him or her beyond limit. (no character can be hidden for a long time if you date closely and wisely)Any one saying love is blind is not been realistic because no one can marry a certified mad fellow personally for the sake of love.

am married for 10 years now my wife has been the same person ,same character all the way in spite of challenges. I don't believe in luck am a realist to the core,and am enjoying my marriage.

by and large, To thy own self be true as likes attract likes. you can't give what you don't have .

I will say it's more of GOD and probably Choice not luck.Yes o, luck is not in the marriage equation.

The bible says "every good and perfect gift comes from GOD.So GOD is the giver of "a good woman"

In essence,we are the ones who determine whether to align with GOD'S choice or make our own differently.

This is where most people get trapped and end up with the first son or daughter of the devil.

Sometime ago,I had the awesome privilege of talking with a christain woman who at that time was experiencing real HELL in her marriage.She openly confessed to me that it was revealed to her several times.She got clear cut revelations that indicated that her to be spouse was not the ordained man for her.

So many people today are victims of "wrong choice".what they are passing through in marriage is a consequence of the choice they made.simple!

In the case of the woman mentioned above and many others I have been able to interview,confirmed the fact that it is the combination of God and choice on our part.

So seeking Gods face to secure his leading is very important in choosing a life partner.

So it's GOD first and our choice second.

That's my take.

Only God's grace