uplawal:
WHta the brother and wife did is not very bad,are you saying once a man married he should not bother about his siblings,you must be wicked yourself,siblings that are orphaned.,working or not,he is still suppose to cater for her,that is his role after their parents demise,until she gets married.

until she gets married ke? Na she be the only orphan in the Nigeria?

who pity don epp or you want to send her some money?

AngelAhnie:
Didn't you sort in school? The lady explained what she's going through and all you could say is not giving money to sort.

No I didn't sort in school, do you have a problem with brilliant people? Why enrol in a school if you can't study? Are you the OP? Please drop your bit and move on Mrs Sabinus.

byvan03:

No I didn't sort in school, do you have a problem with brilliant people? Why enrol in a school if you can't study? Are you the OP? Please drop your bit and move on Mrs Sabinus.

Brilliant person yet you didn't read the post before commenting. I'm not the op but a concerned person that feels her plight.

Good morning byvan !

freecocoa:
Lol, you know today is Friday so I have small liquor in me, I assumed you were the OP, no mind me.

LMAO... easy on the liquor o. I wonder how you guys enjoy alcohol. I never really like that thing no matter how I try because of the way it makes me feel.

hello

AngelAhnie:
Brilliant person yet you didn't read the post before commenting. I'm not the op but a concerned person that feels her plight.

Good morning byvan !

robosky02:
hello

Bosky
Good morning dear

One thing i noticed from your post or say your person is that you lie. Thats why there is so much inconsistencies with your story.

Well the problem lies with you. And because you are dependent on them.. Two things are involved it's either the wife is tired of her husband footing your bills or then she's just trying to be wicked .. You too don't sit there crying and making excuses .. You are a student and there are opportunities, u can't wait for your brother to do every damn thing for you .. Stand up and stop being lazy and work .. There are so many. Part time jobs that students take and go to school the money might be small but it can pay little of your bills and just know that when you are done with school this your brother won't give you a dime again because he will feel u don't need money at all .. So please get busy and learn things ..

crackhaus:

You don't need to leave the house, what I meant by seek your fortunes elsewhere is that you seek other avenues to get the money you need - could be from friends or course mates.

As for your brother, try approaching him again when his wife isn't at home to have a discussion with him regarding the fees you need to pay before the school can let you go.
He is your brother, has always been your brother, and will always be your brother - there's no way he wouldn't want you to go for your NYSC assuming his wife hasn't completely messed up his head.

In the meantime, try as much as possible to avoid anything that will cause direct altercations between you and his wife...do your chores, mind your business, and stay out of her way - you're the one who needs their help and even if you don't like your SIL, false humilty and loyalty always works wonders.

Remember to only have discussions with your brother when you both are alone.

God bless you jare, i really don't know why most old female posters on this section are heartless and mean and i heard something "that is how they treat their in-laws so don't blame them"

humbledbyfaith:
hi family landers,

I am so depressed as of right now..

I have a bro who recently got married to his fiancée..

we were happy as a family until my bro's wife started interfering in between my bro and I..
it all started when I had an urgent need in school, I approached my bro with the most humble scenery one can ever imagine, his wife just cut me short, and said they was no money, I was shocked as my bro sided with her and said they was no money.
I took it in good faith and went away.
later that day ,when they were back from work,I overhead my bro talking to someone in his bedroom..
I went closer and behold my bro was talking to his wife sis asking her if she had seen the alert of the money he sent to her..immediately I heard that,I just sat on the floor and sobbed loudly..

I wonder why my bro will be treating me and my junior bro like this ,we are orphans (lost dad and mum the same day in a car accident)my bro is in jss3 in a public school(my bro's wife changed him with the pretext that they couldn't afford the private school fee).me,I'm in my final year in the university, just remaining my project and my final year school fees..
I am really depressed as my mates have already gone to nysc..

I can't go to anywhere because of clearance and my bro has turned a deaf ear to my appeal to set me up with something I can do to at least clear my self in school..
I am not a lazy person, God forbid that I be lazy but I don't have the necessary incentive to startup something..

I am just fed up with the whole scenario, I have thought of suicide, but ithat will be foolishness as my junior bro will be left in this world to suffer alone..

If my parents are seeing all that is happening, they should please intervene on our behalf because I'm almost giving up... ;'(

sorry for bothering you all with my trouble

guy pls don't even contemplate taking your life just hold on a lil they will one come to kneel in your front too wia r u get in touch we could help each other some how bro

obyrich:
Exactly why I couldn't marry this year. I lost my elder bros last year. He had a house wife with a 2-month-old baby. A daughter in nursery. A son in SS3. Our last born a final year radiography student. His burial expenses was on me. So I had to shelf marriage plans to settle these issues first. I no want katakata for my life o.

you did well, besides it ll enable you to plan well

humbledbyfaith:
thanks dear.

I feel so down

Talk to your pastor.

If There Is Any Trusted Friend Of Your Father Or Mother You Can Approach For Help,please Do. Or Go To Your Church Pastor/priest With Proof Of Your Undergraduate Status (last Semester Result) And Seek For Assistance.

But Please, Do Not Portray Your Brother And His Wife Negatively. Let's Hope They Come To Their Senses And Dont Stop Being Nice To Them. Do Your Duty As A Younger Sibling. It's Only A Passing Phase In Your Life.

humbledbyfaith:

thanks dear for your homely advice..
as for leaving the house, I have thought of that but sadly have no where to go..
both my maternal and paternal relations have turned their back o. is..our bro is our only hope..sadly enough..

Some men behave like mumu when women are involved. Your brother may have lost his senses after taking a love portion. Forget about them and move on with your life but don't use it against him because he may not be acting with his senses since he has been providing for you and your younger ones before this woman came into his life.

humbledbyfaith:
that is what I have been suffering for 2yrs nw

Drop your brothers full name, state of residence and occupation. And same details of his wife (if you have it). This isn't ordinary and can only be resolved through extraordinary channels

That's the problem. My dear, yeah ppl have diff destiny and all but I tell u from experience. even my parents could not send me to sch or pay for school fees. Am a lady too, born and raised back home. I had go teach in a primary sch where I was paid almost nothing!! But I knew it was for a short time, I jus stayed focus and prayed hard. God showed mercy, things fell in the right place. n I still advise my siblings to learn a habit of not being dependent. That custom back home jus don't help. I have 2 siblings in Universites I pay school fees for. N one more who is about to enter. Am not saying one can't help. But jus don't act like it's ur right to get... It should be a thing of choice...

Askmewhy:


Favour this is Africa it's our custom here to wait for our brother or sister to lend a helping hand. So don't blame the young girl for doing that and it's her right to get something from her people.

Yes I do. I have been in this situation before and that's y I wrote, unless God shows mercy. The ppl I depended on and hoped will be of help turned me down. I learned the hard way. But thanks to God I am doing way better today because God showed mercy. Those same ppl now see me and thank God for me too. Cos if it was for them I would be no where! I am also a lady born and raised in Nigeria before I left. the same Merciful God showed me mercy and heard my cry.

GoldenJAT:
only God blesses d work of our hands... seems u don't understand what d young lady is saying!

I dont live in Mars, I am here on earth like u. There are no jobs back home. There are some other things that can be done, that's all I was saying. Niaja is torf and very torf. Op can teach in a small sch n save some money. We all overlook some small things. I taught in a small sch and sold home made groundnut, fufu to survive the hardship. It was torf. I have been there too. We need to learn not to depend on ppl. Maybe until it happens that ppl u depend on disappoint then we learn. I learned and I advise others I can not to. God will always show up. If he did for me, He will for the op. Op should jus let his bro be and jus look for somewhere else to channel his hard work to.

InvertedHammer:

/
You are funny.
Perhaps you live in Mars.
Graduates cannot find jobs. Yet you expect an undergraduate to go out and snap a job with ease. Everyone needs help at some point in life. Stop acting or sounding as if you got life figured out because it hasn't thrown curve ball your way.
\

Luckygurl:

[s]
Cut the crap!!
If you tell me she's meant to be responsible for her upkeep, I wouldn't have any problem with that.
But saying she's supposed to have a boyfriend to cater for her needs is plainly absurd.
Or what was that you had in mind when you typed the emboldened?

Majority of us living off men we ain't related to since 16BC and priding in it as if it's some form of achievement.

[/s]

....Fake ass Nigerians everywhere..see them condemning other people for being real and telling the op the practical truth..yeye folks ..well after your silly pity,how have you helped the op in PRACTICAL terms by giving her MONEY huh??...cos that is the long and short of her sob stories since this year about this same brother and sister-in-law.

..i mean this is the third lamentation thread on her so-called brother and sister-in-law this year!!!..If a final year student who claims to have seen her way through school from 200L with little or no help from her 'brother' suddenly do not know what to do when it is almost over..then the hypocritical mourners-in-chief all over this thread should kindly give her MONEY and quit whining ..WALK THE TALK AND ZIP IT!!


..As for me,there are too many real-life desperate folks in dire need of help i assist to be suckered by some phony face-less people i am not sure off...If you dont like my comnents,too bad.

Favored4gud:
I dont live in Mars, I am here on earth like u. There are no jobs back home. There are some other things that can be done, that's all I was saying. Niaja is torf and very torf. Op can teach in a small sch n save some money. We all overlook some small things. I taught in a small sch and sold home made groundnut, fufu to survive the hardship. It was torf. I have been there too. We need to learn not to depend on ppl. Maybe until it happens that ppl u depend on disappoint then we learn. I learned and I advise others I can not to. God will always show up. If he did for me, He will for the op. Op should jus let his bro be and jus look for somewhere else to channel his hard work to.

/
It would have been nice if you offered it as an advice instead of the condescending way you castigated in your earlier post.
\

clintonsparkz:
just checked ur gender, and ur female, my dear take it from me, U B WINCH

Just like ur mum!

Yeah I wish it was like that back home too. But its not and cos we have a culture of dependency that y somethings are the way they are. I am guilty of the dependancy too till I was disappointed by them. The brother can help if he wants to help it's his choice. U would hope he should look out for the sibling but he is not, so OP can try something else. I love hardworking ppl n I don't hesitate to support one. Am sure OP, will advise anyone in this same situation, not to rely or depend on folks. For me, I don't I learned. .

armyofone:
Not funny at all. I wished the environment is like what we have here. 20 credits hours/schedule and 20 hours part time job tutoring, washing toilet, cafeteria assistant, students office assistant etc
I'm sure if she had said something like please brother I have 30 thousand from my small so and so konkiri business, and need your help to make up etc it would have yielded better response from him.
Every human for himself/herself...that's what I learnt here. You will not reach your destination if you wait on anyone.

It was no castigation. I was jus being blunt in my first post.

InvertedHammer:

/
It would have been nice if you offered it as an advice instead of the condescending way you castigated in your earlier post.
\

NovusHomo:



In short, her brother owes her nothing. N-O-T-H-I-N-G!

Don't get me wrong ooooooooo, yes being the fact that their parents are late, he should be in charge of their education and responsibility as the eldest brother but when he now has a wife who wouldn't allow him help her and the younger, should she continue opening post and complaining about them everytime she feels offended by them, will that help her? Haven't we seen students who have two parents alive and yet those parents refused to train them and they strived hard and worked towards success? Yes, we have and she should also join the successful crew. That's all I want. I am not blaming her. Thank you

byvan03:
What did you demand money for? I don't see myself responding to a sibling that needs money for sorting in school even if am sitting on billions.

Who is the idiot that liked this comment?

What school are u in? @ op


Let's start from there and see what help can be rendered,

Your fees can be delayed till when you are through with your final exams and project materials provided. After then you can sort yourself out.( uniben only)

Next time approach and talk to him alone and not in the presence of the wife. Let the approach not make you hate your brother or the wife it may make things worst for you. Play along and pray...you are almost there. Most married women are selfish... they want the cake only for themselves and their family.
A reasonable man should know that blood is thicker than water. Know that wife is the neck that carries and takes the head to what it wants to see.

semitunde:


Well I've said something reasonable even if I say so myself, so I guess that takes care of the "sharap" part.


You dont need to bring in the personality of cococandy or infact anyone else save for their thought as put down on this thread. The issue brought up is what should be faced. Again that knocks off your second point.

You are asking what I meant by economic abuse? You should have just asked nicely. What I meant was that as a married man, op didn't tell us if his bro has any child, what kind of job he does, if its enough in this present economic situation. We don't know if they are just married and just settling in and now have two siblings lumped on them - and they are not complaining, just adjusting.

Has anyone asked how they are coping financially? How from the ops post can you infer that his bro is rich enough to take care of them? You're not considering his situation. He might be a victim economically given the responsibility he's carrying while still being lampooned here by his sis.

Are you married?

yes

humbledbyfaith:
hi family landers,

I am so depressed as of right now..

I have a bro who recently got married to his fiancée..

we were happy as a family until my bro's wife started interfering in between my bro and I..
it all started when I had an urgent need in school, I approached my bro with the most humble scenery one can ever imagine, his wife just cut me short, and said they was no money, I was shocked as my bro sided with her and said they was no money.
I took it in good faith and went away.
later that day ,when they were back from work,I overhead my bro talking to someone in his bedroom..
I went closer and behold my bro was talking to his wife sis asking her if she had seen the alert of the money he sent to her..immediately I heard that,I just sat on the floor and sobbed loudly..

I wonder why my bro will be treating me and my junior bro like this ,we are orphans (lost dad and mum the same day in a car accident)my bro is in jss3 in a public school(my bro's wife changed him with the pretext that they couldn't afford the private school fee).me,I'm in my final year in the university, just remaining my project and my final year school fees..
I am really depressed as my mates have already gone to nysc..

I can't go to anywhere because of clearance and my bro has turned a deaf ear to my appeal to set me up with something I can do to at least clear my self in school..
I am not a lazy person, God forbid that I be lazy but I don't have the necessary incentive to startup something..

I am just fed up with the whole scenario, I have thought of suicide, but ithat will be foolishness as my junior bro will be left in this world to suffer alone..

If my parents are seeing all that is happening, they should please intervene on our behalf because I'm almost giving up... ;'(

sorry for bothering you all with my trouble

where do you school? will end of the month be late?
how can I reach u?

WHOcarex:
Taar!!! Don't mind that liar. Go through her other topics you will see what I mean. She is just a jealous and lazy being. Bitter wicked thing. "worked in a saloon, I have been paying me and my bro fee" my ass. Her brother is simply tired of her attitude. Mtcheew

Why are you talking like this, do her know her or are you her brother's wife relation?