Hello Folks,Am engaged to this angel and we are planning our wedding but certain issues bother me.

Am not one to spend hugely on a one day event but my Jewel expects abi wants a talk of the town event. A while back, I asked her how much

i should budget for the event and she said 2milli. 2milli? In this very Buharian Nigeria? So I asked her how much she was willing to contribute

and she goes all "it is irresponsible for a man to expect a woman to bring money for wedding" .I also suggested a one day event for the trad

and wedding and yet again, she said it would be too stressful for her.

Ofcourse I want a beautiful wedding also but I no go spend everything ontop wedding na. So, is it proper for a woman to expect a very big

wedding when they are not ready to contribute shikom ontop the matter?

Its not just my pearl that has this problem sef, I sampled the opinion of several other ladies and the excuses they give is indeed funny. One said she is the first daughter, so wedding must be talk of the town. Another said she is the only daughter, still yet another said her parents spent a lot to grow her up so she must be spent on, e.t.c

Abeg, should a lady expect a talk of the town wedding when she is not ready to contribute financially to it? Since it's the man bearing the brunt of the expenses, shouldn't he take all the big decisions?

Lol Naso all dos feminist babes dey do oh....had same gist with my gf too...she said same tin that it's d guy's responsibility of which she wants big n loud ceremony

Bro pls do wat u can n leave d rest....its not a competition

oluseyioba:
Lol Naso all dos feminist babes dey do oh....had same gist with my gf too...she said same tin that it's d guy's responsibility of which she wants big n loud ceremony

Bro pls do wat u can n leave d rest....its not a competition

Thanks man,its not even about feminism. She is a good girl but wants something I don't want for now

Just try to talk to her and I really expect her to understand cos its gonna be just you and her at the end of the talk of d town parry in quote. No woman will like to settle for garri drinking just to impress people

And plsssss its not irresponsible men who ask their fiance to contribute for wedding. I contributed almost half for my wedding not because my hubby wanted me to but because I recognised that the "help meet" responsibility starts even at the wedding and I insisted. Trust me, when u guys start planning and booking, she will contribute. It should be natural.

You however don't need to break your neck to impress people. Unless you have excess cash to lavish. I wish you too the very best.

Then u shud make her understand d ceremony is jus 2days tops and dre is life afta it

snowytee:


Thanks man,its not even about feminism. She is a good girl but wants something I don't want for now

toniapat:
Just try to talk to her and I really expect her to understand cos its gonna be just you and her at the end of the talk of d town parry in quote. No woman will like to settle for garri drinking just to impress people

And plsssss its not irresponsible men who ask their fiance to contribute for wedding. I contributed almost half for my wedding not because my hubby wanted me to but because I recognised that the "help meet" responsibility starts even at the wedding and I insisted. Trust me, when u guys start planning and booking, she will contribute. It should be natural.

You however don't need to break your neck to impress people. Unless you have excess cash to lavish. I wish you too the very best.

Thank you dear. I pray it falls into place.

Make your budget and stick to it. . It would be silly to spend beyond your limit on a wedding, instead you should even find a way(s) to know if you can still get some change' from your budget. ..

It's very important you marry someone you have same value with to avoid financial issues in marriage. ..

Also, going by the sort of girls you supposedly interviewed, it shows you 'roll' with flamboyant ladies which isn't ideal for you.. why don't you learn to roll with your 'class' instead of coming here to complain? Sure there are ladies who wouldn't mind a 100k or 200k wedding?
You want to be with the 'big' girls but complain when their demands start coming, as if them force you. .

PresVA:
Make your budget and stick to it. . It would be silly to spend beyond your limit on a wedding, instead you should even find a way(s) to know if you can still get some change' from your budget. ..

It's very important you marry someone you have same value with to avoid financial issues in marriage. ..

Also, going by the sort of girls you supposedly interviewed, it shows you 'roll' with flamboyant ladies which isn't ideal for you.. why don't you learn to roll with your 'class' instead of coming here to complain? Sure there are ladies who wouldn't mind a 100k or 200k wedding?
You want to be with the 'big' girls but complain when their demands start coming, as if them force you. .

I recognized the subtle dig. Not cool. Can you not insult? You can see I said I want a beautiful wedding also but not ready to spend beyond reason. Thank you though for the first part of your talk.

Bros,
Just budget a certain amount for all and stick to it. believe me, the kind of wedding she wants, even 2million will not be enough. When it comes to wedding and Trad, women are generally unreasonable even when they know its not right but the pressure from friends wont allow them think properly. Make a budget and stick to it, You guys will argue and quarrel but she will understand later. If she wants it big she can bring the funds to supplement the one you have. Mind you doing everything same day is way cheaper and less stressful.

snowytee:


I recognized the subtle dig. Not cool. Can you not insult? You can see I said I want a beautiful wedding also but not ready to spend beyond reason. Thank you though for the first part of your talk.

Sorry, no insult intended really

As I said before, stick to your budget!. .. I hope your fiancee comes around..

However, hope you will be able to cope with the difference in your financial ideologies when you're finally married?

All the best..

nnamdibig:
Bros,
Just budget a certain amount for all and stick to it. believe me, the kind of wedding she wants, even 2million will not be enough. When it comes to wedding and Trad, women are generally unreasonable even when they know its not right but the pressure from friends wont allow them think properly. Make a budget and stick to it, You guys will argue and quarrel but she will understand later. If she wants it big she can bring the funds to supplement the one you have. Mind you doing everything same day is way cheaper and less stressful.

Yeah, its cost effective doing everything on same day but how do I convince her. She says it will be too stressful for her. I know it's just an excuse.

PresVA:
Sorry, no insult intended really

As I said before, stick to your budget!. .. I hope your fiancee comes around..

However, hope you will be able to cope with the difference in your financial ideologies when you're finally married?

All the best..

Difference in financial ideologies? Oh, sweetie I don't think that applies. It's the wedding and the expenditures am about. She understands partnership in running a home.
Or is there something you deciphered from my post? Kindly let me know, I can adjust.

snowytee:


Yeah, its cost effective doing everything on same day but how do I convince her. She says it will be too stressful for her. I know it's just an excuse.

I know you love her but you have to be a bit hard on this to convince her. If she refuses, just tell your parents how you want your wedding let them communicate to her parents your plans. after all marriage is between two families not just the two of you. I guess when both families starts working towards your date, she will have no choice.

nnamdibig:


I know you love her but you have to be a bit hard on this to convince her. If she refuses, just tell your parents how you want your wedding let them communicate to her parents your plans. after all marriage is between two families not just the two of you. I guess when both families starts working towards your date, she will have no choice.

Oh,well that's a good one. I could get the families involved. Although it sounds like a recipe for an unhappy bride.

snowytee:


Oh,well that's a good one. I could get the families involved. Although it sounds like a recipe for an unhappy bride.

No it won't.
Her mum will give her reasons and also advice her. And that's what she needs now.

nnamdibig:


No it won't.
Her mum will give her reasons and also advice her. And that's what she needs now.

Her mum is late, fam

snowytee:


Difference in financial ideologies? Oh, sweetie I don't think that applies. It's the wedding and the expenditures am about. She understands partnership in running a home.
Or is there something you deciphered from my post? Kindly let me know, I can adjust.

Someone that's adamant about having a 'huge' wedding when you're against it, is likely to make such demands in the future.. it's always good couples are in sync when it comes to finance...

From your writeup, I thought maybe she's someone that likes having 'big' while you're a 'moderate' person hence my comment(s)... but guess I'm wrong. ..
Since it applies to the wedding alone, you can easily manage it by standing firm to your decision..

Again, wish you the best

snowytee:


Her mum is late, fam

wow sorry about that. But still her siblings and Dad will give her reasons to plan with you.

PresVA:
Someone that's adamant about having a 'huge' wedding when you're against it, is likely to make such demands in the future.. it's always good couples are in sync when it comes to finance...

From your writeup, I thought maybe she's someone that likes having 'big' while you're a 'moderate' person hence my comment(s)... but guess I'm wrong. ..
Since it applies to the wedding alone, you can easily manage it by standing firm to your decision..

Again, wish you the best

Thank you, thank you. You are far too kind

nnamdibig:


wow sorry about that. But still her siblings and Dad will give her reasons to plan with you.

Thank you, chief

2million in this harsh economy era? maybe u have just more than enough. Or u dey form gbogbo bigs boys for her. Presva is so right with her comment.

thelish:
2million in this harsh economy era?
maybe u have just more than enough. Or u dey form gbogbo bigs boys for her.
Presva is so right with her comment.

That's nice. Attack me some more,shey na me wan marry. Interestingly, if a woman wants a huge wedding it's because the man is forming big boy? You gals have fully functional brain and its cute.

nnamdibig:


I know you love her but you have to be a bit hard on this to convince her. If she refuses, just tell your parents how you want your wedding let them communicate to her parents your plans. after all marriage is between two families not just the two of you. I guess when both families starts working towards your date, she will have no choice.

Na so people derry begin invite externals inside their marriage yet dem go say people derry chook mouth put. Why would you want him to force something down her throat when they can mutually agree? When did marriage become two families getting married and not two individuals? Just my thoughts on your advice and no insults intended.

Set a reasonable budget within your means and stick to it.

She is being extremely stupid, selfish and myopic especially when she is not contributing a pretty penny.

I dislike women like that. Very showy and ostentatious. Very immature to focus on a wedding that barely lasts quarter of a day and spend lots on it. Better invest that money wisely in marriage counseling, preparation and saving on a fund for home mortgage, vehicle and kids education.

You are a bigger fool if you comply with her wishes. Selfish people everywhere.

Xiadnat:
Set a reasonable budget within your means and stick to it.

She is being extremely stupid, selfish and myopic especially when she is not contributing a pretty penny.

[/b]I dislike women like that. Very showy and ostentatious. Very immature to focus on a wedding that barely lasts quarter of a day and spend lots on it. Better invest that money wisely in marriage counseling, preparation and saving on a fund for home mortgage, vehicle and kids education.

[b[i]]You are a bigger fool if you comply with her wishes. Selfish people everywhere[/i].

A tat too harsh mate,eii?

snowytee:


A tat too harsh mate,eii?

Maybe. But, I maintain my stance. Her demand for a big wedding is a sign for something and If I would advise him, I would hesitate with the plans and get to the bottom of why spend that much money.

Generally, the bigger the wedding, the tackier and less intimate/personal it is, and the worse the marriage. This is not folklore, it's years of scientific studies. Even many Hollywood stars are catching on to this and are opting for small, private, intimate wedding with smaller budget especially those who have undergone the "big expensive" wedding that didn't last.

Her focus is on big show rather than the "marriage" after the wedding. That is generally not a bad sign. Once the euphoria of big showy wedding is down, she gets a dose of reality that is marriage and shitz about to go down......


Good luck to you tho. You could be the exception to the rule.

Hmmmm, different strokes!

I want a wedding where the bobo brings his family and few friends to our parlour to marry me. I remember bobo argued he won't " hide" to marry me. He wants the whole fanfare, the whole nine yards in moderation. Whew! My BFF just got married. Guy wanted the fanfare, babe wanted the parlour thing. Again, different strokes for different folks.

If only everyone thinks the same.

GboyegaD:


Na so people derry begin invite externals inside their marriage yet dem go say people derry chook mouth put. Why would you want him to force something down her throat when they can mutually agree? When did marriage become two families getting married and not two individuals? Just my thoughts on your advice and no insults intended.

This case is different, Women generally will want to have their wedding in a Beverly hill Church and honeymoon in Paris even when they know the man funding the wedding is not that buoyant. and in most case, the man need to be firm and strong in his decisions, else he will pay through his nose for a wedding of less than 6 hrs.

snowytee:


That's nice. Attack me some more,shey na me wan marry. Interestingly, if a woman wants a huge wedding it's because the man is forming big boy? You gals have fully functional brain and its cute.

That's female logic though some not all, you got to let your wife know there's no cash for that, and stand in that ground people are losing jobs daily, naira is falling, impressing people now Nigerians are smarter than, no one cares about other people's opinion.

My brother just do it based on what you have....
besides in two weeks everyone will forget about it..... talk of the town wedding or not...because there's still another talk of the town wedding that will over shadow yours coming soon or doing press up to happen....Wedding ceremony is just like cellphones...By the time u feel u have gotten it alright, another better and powerful ones surfaces... .

It is wise for u to start investing now for the future...for old age or retirement... start now.... have u saved enough to built a house of your own? let your wife to be see your concern.......

Do not dance much with your pocket to impress people and besides, there's still that aunt or uncle that will complain on that day that either the meat was too small or that the rice was too strong.. no matter how well u spent

snowytee:
Hello Folks,Am engaged to this angel and we are planning our wedding but certain issues bother me.

Am not one to spend hugely on a one day event but my Jewel expects abi wants a talk of the town event. A while back, I asked her how much

i should budget for the event and she said 2milli.

Believe it or not, this issue - if you indeed go ahead to marry this woman - and it's resolution, will set the tone for your whole marriage, as long as it lasts. Fall mugu at this point and you are all but done. Enough said.

All the best
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