[quote author=snowytee post=47503252]

That's nice. Attack me some more,shey na me wan marry. Interestingly, if a woman wants a huge wedding it's because the man is forming big boy? You gals have fully functional brain and its cute.[/quot

maybe, you are making her feel there is so much money to be spent

I believe your wife to be is still a child. 2m for a wedding is outrageous and should not even be suggested by a woman.

I have observed that if the bride and groom have different ideas about the wedding/traditional ceremony, that marriage is doomed from the beginning.

snowytee, you guys need to agree about finances. Trust me, na she go shout if una start to drink garri after wedding o. If she insists, be ready to move on (yes that sounds harsh). Because if you succumb (without guaranteed outside help), the likelihood of regretting it is very high.

If you can't persuade your fiancée, it doesn't bode well for your marriage. Stick to your original budget. If she still says no, biko tell her that you will have to move on. If she truly loves you, she will be willing to reach a compromise.

Many men fell for that trap and they still regret their decisions. Some have even started to take out the frustration on the wife. If at this point, she'll rather do a 'notice me' ceremony rather than plan with you on how to build a house (or other investments), then FLEE. She might end up being a type of wife that will buy expensive aso ebi just to appear rich.

Even if you have the money, it is not advisable to spend it on a days' event. Rather, pour it on something that has healthy ROI.

Please, be wise.

nnamdibig:


This case is different, Women generally will want to have their wedding in a Beverly hill Church and honeymoon in Paris even when they know the man funding the wedding is not that buoyant. and in most case, the man need to be firm and strong in his decisions, else he will pay through his nose for a wedding of less than 6 hrs.

Firm on his decisions, I agree; however, including externals isn't ideal.

Don't do this, don't fall for this trap and emotional blackmail. You will end up paying bills all your life while she collects her salary and hides.

Bad financial planning is half of marital problems. If she wants a big wedding she should be ready to pay for half of it.

It is also important you sort out post wedding bills now who pays for what else you end up working to death to fulfil her fantasies while when it suits her she cries gender equality.

I am a woman and I say no to this

snowytee:
Hello Folks,Am engaged to this angel and we are planning our wedding but certain issues bother me.

Am not one to spend hugely on a one day event but my Jewel expects abi wants a talk of the town event. A while back, I asked her how much

i should budget for the event and she said 2milli. 2milli? In this very Buharian Nigeria? So I asked her how much she was willing to contribute

and she goes all "it is irresponsible for a man to expect a woman to bring money for wedding" .I also suggested a one day event for the trad

and wedding and yet again, she said it would be too stressful for her.

Ofcourse I want a beautiful wedding also but I no go spend everything ontop wedding na. So, is it proper for a woman to expect a very big

wedding when they are not ready to contribute shikom ontop the matter?

Its not just my pearl that has this problem sef, I sampled the opinion of several other ladies and the excuses they give is indeed funny. One said she is the first daughter, so wedding must be talk of the town. Another said she is the only daughter, still yet another said her parents spent a lot to grow her up so she must be spent on, e.t.c

Abeg, should a lady expect a talk of the town wedding when she is not ready to contribute financially to it? Since it's the man bearing the brunt of the expenses, shouldn't he take all the big decisions?

@OP:

What does your culture say about wedding expenses?

bukatyne:

@OP:
What does your culture say about wedding expenses?

When e reach money matter we will remember culture.

Why don't we remember culture in cases of abuse and adultery where women are mostly disadvantaged? This area where men are bearing the brunt for greed and irresponsibility we will be calling culture

Eketem:


When e reach money matter we will remember culture.

Why don't we remember culture in cases of abuse and adultery where women are mostly disadvantaged? This area where men are bearing the brunt for greed and irresponsibility we will be calling culture

Eketem,

You need to chill here; you must gotten the wrong sister.

Op infact am aving d same challenge as u r and the main problem is dt advisers are too many for even from ladies who never even get husband 2 propose to them talkles of getting married. She want everything and friends will b telling her its d husband dt foot all d bill the only thing she is planning 2 spend is d 20k she budgetted for cake. Dear most of our ladies are d same

When I hear people spending 2mil or more on a wedding ceremony, I go begin wonder if it's not the same wedding I did with less than 200k! (even this much, I was already telling Dh we have spent more than we budgeted).

My wedding ceremony was glamorous and unique that 2 unknown attendees had to call me to ask how I fixed it, they requested for my budget and planned to do same.

See there is more to making a home than all this 24hours party o.
I can't imagine hustling so hard just to gather some people together one day to came and enjoy my money. Kole werk!

My mate don dey do house warming na apeje I go come begin carry money do

To each is own o, Op I wish you all the best.

goldenruby:
When I hear people spending 2mil or more on a wedding ceremony, I go begin wonder if it's not the same wedding I did with less than 200k! (even this much, I was already telling Dh we have spent more than we budgeted).

My wedding ceremony was glamorous and unique that 2 unknown attendees had to call me to ask how I fixed it, they requested for my budget and planned to do same.

See there is more to making a home than all this 24hours party o.
I can't imagine hustling so hard just to gather some people together one day to came and enjoy my money. Kole werk!

My mate don dey do house warming na apeje I go come begin carry money do

To each is own o, Op I wish you all the best.

exactly my sis. we did ours with less than 500k and it was awesome.

goldenruby:
When I hear people spending 2mil or more on a wedding ceremony, I go begin wonder if it's not the same wedding I did with less than 200k! (even this much, I was already telling Dh we have spent more than we budgeted).

My wedding ceremony was glamorous and unique that 2 unknown attendees had to call me to ask how I fixed it, they requested for my budget and planned to do same.

See there is more to making a home than all this 24hours party o.
I can't imagine hustling so hard just to gather some people together one day to came and enjoy my money. Kole werk!

My mate don dey do house warming na apeje I go come begin carry money do

To each is own o, Op I wish you all the best.

Thanks mami. Can I have a glimpse of your budget, please. I plan to be conservative and I believe if I have reasonable information, I can convince her to follow suit. I don't just want to argue blindly, more information and I can present it intelligently.

Thank you all for the advise. My woman is a good girl, am certain. It's just the euphoria ladies have over beautiful weddings

Mst ladies love evrytin big n flashy on der wedin day! U jst hav to b d man get ur budget n go by it as long as it covers all. When my elder bro did his wedin only 4 of us plan and executed it n evry it went well enough food 4 gest n drinks der was no complain no borrowin wen u leav evry tin to d ladies dy tend to b too expensive because dy'll lik to involve unnecessary pple n stufs . Mine will hapen soon if she say na flnboyant wedin she dy wait mak she go seat down for her papa house. Its nt all abt d wedin day its d after life dat matters.

bro don't even give her wish a second thought..... shes after the glam and all, 2mili for wedding?! i wonder how much her bride price cost you.....

you'll pay bride price the sponsor the wedding alone, then she'll start asking you if she is a slave when you ask her to do your laundry.......


ladies are so selfish and inconsiderate...... you are both getting married so its a two-way thing her FAM drops 50℅ yours do the other 50........besides she didn't pay groom price so what's she hollering about......

men should stop making women feel like they are the centre of the world....women are not weak.....
i even like this gender equality ish.....they are actually setting men free from the bondage of responsibilities.....have a lot to say but I'll just do with this....


make a budget and don't budge from it, if she wants something bigger then simply tell her to provide the rest of the cash , and bro if she too fumble drop her like hot yam.....don't let that lie called love blind you and spoil you life...if you give in now, she'll 4eva take advantage of you and when things get rough she ain't gone be there.....

Richy4:
My brother just do it based on what you have....
besides in two weeks everyone will forget about it..... talk of the town wedding or not...because there's still another talk of the town wedding that will over shadow yours coming soon or doing press up to happen....Wedding ceremony is just like cellphones...By the time u feel u have gotten it alright, another better and powerful ones surfaces... .

It is wise for u to start investing now for the future...for old age or retirement... start now.... have u saved enough to built a house of your own? let your wife to be see your concern.......

Do not dance much with your pocket to impress people and besides, there's still that aunt or uncle that will complain on that day that either the meat was too small or that the rice was too strong.. no matter how well u spent

true talk sir...BTW please reply my pm

PresVA:
Make your budget and stick to it. . It would be silly to spend beyond your limit on a wedding, instead you should even find a way(s) to know if you can still get some change' from your budget. ..

It's very important you marry someone you have same value with to avoid financial issues in marriage. ..

Also, going by the sort of girls you supposedly interviewed, it shows you 'roll' with flamboyant ladies which isn't ideal for you.. why don't you learn to roll with your 'class' instead of coming here to complain? Sure there are ladies who wouldn't mind a 100k or 200k wedding?
You want to be with the 'big' girls but complain when their demands start coming, as if them force you. .

You got it wrong, its not about big girls. If she is a big girl there would not have been issue because she would be willing and able to contribute. It's just a case of fake girl

Thank God i married a level headed person. I understand how marriage can make you want to over spend to impress people and leave good memories but it has to be moderated.

If i had thought better. We would have jumped the reception and just gone home. More money for us all.

marry within your means. Marry someone on the same wavelength with you or is willing to flow with your wavelength as the head of the home.

Don't go and break ya back for any ceremony. In 2 hours, yours will be forgotten because of another which would also be forgotten because of another...........

On a lighter note , when you were 'friending' "angel" you didn't know they like expensive things right?

After all the razzmatazz, then what?
A lot of couples I know regretted having to spend so much on their wedding.
They wished they had another chance.

Just to lend voice to the majority opinion here:
Usually the man makes most wedding financial decisions, even if she contributes money.
Live within your means..; it is not a competition.

Waladade4luv:
Op infact am aving d same challenge as u r and the main problem is dt advisers are too many for even from ladies who never even get husband 2 propose to them talkles of getting married. She want everything and friends will b telling her its d husband dt foot all d bill the only thing she is planning 2 spend is d 20k she budgetted for cake. Dear most of our ladies are d same

You need not be confused ...
Majority opinion here is against spending on a wedding to impress people.

I have witnessed many weddings and I have been through it, too.
If possible, cut down on the cake - maybe 3 - 4 steps instead of 7. It's only symbolic.

Ask your wife to provide superior argument why she wants so and so amount spent on so and so item.
After the extravagance, it will eventually fall on you to be the man and provide for the family.
She will thank you afterwards for being so firm. Women like their men to be firm.

thelish:



exactly my sis. we did ours with less than 500k and it was awesome.

Abeg how did you people do it. Biko nu...... help a sister

Zehner:
Abeg how did you people do it. Biko nu...... help a sister

My dear, I was so careful with spendings oo. And we also did trad n white wedding same day.

OP, around 2009, my Mom. called me to prepare a Deed of Assignment for a piece of land she wanted to buy. It was going for about 40% of the market price as at that time and was an absolutely wonderful bargain.

When I got home, I asked her why the land was so cheap. She then informed me that the seller bought cow on credit from the Fulani cattle dealers for her daughter's wedding which occurred the weekend before I came home. The Sunday after the wedding, the cattle seller came to the bride mother's house to threaten her that if he didn't get his money in a week, he was going to kill her the way they killed his cow. The woman had to start running helter-skelter looking for buyers for her property.

There's life after the wedding ceremony. Be wise and don't focus on impressing those who do not care about life after the wedding.