I took up a teaching job few months ago. i was given basic 3 to teach. Few weeks after i resumed, i noticed a particular boy that sleeps during lessons.Extremely timid and quiet, at first i thought thats his nature. (being extremely quiet). Sometimes his classmates bully him, he will neither fight back nor even report. His seat mate will be the one to report.
i also noticed he doesn't come to school with any snacks, even during the days we conduct extra mural lessons. He is quiet intelligent, but rarely answers question. i will have to beg, flog, pamper before he can talk.
After some months, i decided to get closer to him atleast to find out why, he sleeps in class, esp during the first and second period when kids are super active. Also to know why he doesn't do his homeworks.
I stopped flogging him, no matter what he does.(though he rarely gets into trouble)
One day, his seat mate came to report to me that he is crying, i got to find out that he hasn't eaten since the night before that day.I bought food for him and started asking him questions about his parents. The following transpired between us:
Me: What of your parents?
Him: We are living with my father.(him and his 4yr younger brother)
Me:What of your mum?
Him: My father sent her packing.
Me:Why?
Him:He said she is seeing another man, and he alway beat her.
Me: Has he remarried?
Him:No.
Me:Who do you stay with at home after school,what is your father's occupation?
Him: i stay with my younger brother, my father is not working.
Me:who cooks and washes your clothes?
Him:My father.
(most times his uniform is dirty and tarttered)
Me:Is your father always at home?
Him:no, he comes home late at night everyday, sometimes he doesn't come home at all till the next day.
Me:Why didn't you eat last night?
Him: My father didn't come back, he said he will bring food for us in school.
Me:What of your mother?
Him:She is at her village , Aba.
Me:Do you have her number?
Him:yes. i wrote it down in my book.
Am thinking of calling the mother's attention to this boy's plight.
This whole thing is affecting his performance in class. And he is just 9.


Pls i need your opinions.

Escalate the issue to the head teacher or principal.

INTROVERT:
Escalate the issue to the head teacher or principal.

The HM knows about this, as the former teacher complained to her. but she said she doesn't want to meddle into any family issue.

Nothing you can do unless you want to adopt him.

Calling his mother is counterproductive. She abandoned them in the first place.

Ioannes:
Nothing you can do unless you want to adopt him.

Calling his mother is counterproductive. She abandoned them in the first place.

I really don't think she abandoned them.Maybe she isn't allowed to visit them. On the other hand, i don't know if she can do anything about this.
The boy's plight is really making me restless

Adaobi12:
I really don't think she abandoned them.Maybe she isn't allowed to visit them. On the other hand, i don't know if she can do anything about this.
The boy's plight is really making me restless

You have a good heart. But in this case I'm afraid you can't do much.

The government doesn't care, his family doesn't give a hoot. You're probably the only person that cares for the child in this whole wide world.

Maybe you should bring his case up during PTA meetings or something...

Ioannes:


You have a good heart. But in this case I'm afraid you can't do much.

The government doesn't care, his family doesn't give a hoot. You're probably the only person that cares for the child in this whole wide world.

Maybe you should bring his case up during PTA meetings or something...

P.T.A, how do i go about that without been looked at like am pokenosing.

Please try talking to the father. Some men sef, you can't raise the child, you can't give them to their mother. Hopefully the poor kids won't starve to death.

Adaobi12:
P.T.A, how do i go about that without been looked at like am pokenosing.

Maybe you shouldn't go public, just a few parents.

I'm sure there are at least a few parents who are godly and can be concerned. Maybe they can also proffer solutions. Two heads they say...

You never can tell, they May be able to speak to the parents of the boy and get them to do the needful.

byvan03:
Please try talking to the father. Some men sef, you can't raise the child, you can't give them to their mother. Hopefully the poor kids won't starve to death.

I have complained to him once about his son not doing his home work, his responses wasn't so nice. That was the first time and the last have seen him. well i will try and do that.
Thank you.

Ioannes:


Maybe you shouldn't go public, just a few parents.

I'm sure there are at least a few parents who are godly and can be concerned. Maybe they can also proffer solutions. Two heads they say...

You never can tell, they May be able to speak to the parents of the boy and get them to do the needful.

Ok. i will have to observe and know parents i can confide in.
But, i still think drawing the mum's attention to this is necessary.
thanks alot.

Adaobi12:
Ok. i will have to observe and know parents i can confide in.
But, i still think drawing the mum's attention to this is necessary.
thanks alot.

My pleasure. I hope he finds the help he needs. Have a good evening.

Adaobi12:
I have complained to him once about his son not doing his home work, his responses wasn't so nice. That was the first time and the last have seen him. well i will try and do that.
Thank you.

Who picks his kid from school? This time around please bring his attention to the boy's feeding.

byvan03:




Who picks his kid from school? This time around please bring his attention to the boy's feeding.

Nobody, they go home by themselves. i will.thanks.

Call on the father's attention. Tell him everything- his performance, quietness, crying, tattered uniform etc. Tell him that if not well handled, he (the boy) might gradually lose touch with nature.

You can further ask to see his wife while pretending not know about their divorce.

May this poor boy find pure happiness and divine peace. Amen.

Please do not be discouraged by those who say there is little or nothing you can do.
There is a lot you can do for this boy as his teacher.
It could be that destiny has brought him to your class.

A teacher is not just there to teach reading and writing; he also doubles as counselor and social worker.
In those days, when a student was absent from school, his teacher would visit his house to know why.

First, you do not need to hide the situation from the boy's mom. She has to know.
Perhaps, she can arrange something either by herself, through an uncle, aunt, brother, etc, to help the boy.
You have her number, call her.

Secondly, you need to visit the boy's father at home.
He should be happy that somebody is taking a personal interest in his son.
Tell him all you know, including that fact that the boy told you his mom does not live with them.

A man that stays out all night, leaving his young children at home, unless working, sounds to me like a womaniser and drunkard.
Such people are always paranoid; they suspect every move of their wives.

By the way, are the other siblings in school. How old are they?
Is it possible you can post a feedback here sometime?

Report to the social welfare department in your state, it is found in the local government secretariat. If you are in Lagos even better they have proactive laws to back them up.


As a step in measure, you can support him for the time being with biscuit and some juice.

The child is abused and hungry learning is the last thing on his mind.

Thank you for being a good teacher

Merciful God! Hmmm...this is the grass suffering for the fight between two elephants. Yes, the two elephants aren't happy too, but look how sad they left the grass
It is well o.

I wish we have good child support here.

Adaobi12:
Nobody, they go home by themselves. i will.thanks.

Please don't visit that man at home without a male teacher to accompany you as suggested by some. The man doesn't seem Ok to me.

byvan03:




Please don't visit that man at home without a male teacher to accompany you as suggested by some. The man doesn't seem Ok to me.

I intend to tell the boy to tell the father to come and see me in school.

oluafam:
Call on the father's attention. Tell him everything- his performance, quietness, crying, tattered uniform etc. Tell him that if not well handled, he (the boy) might gradually lose touch with nature.

You can further ask to see his wife while pretending not know about their divorce.

May this poor boy find pure happiness and divine peace. Amen.

Amen. i will try.
Am just scared due to his response the first time i complained to him about the child not doing his homework. Also people's attitude towards such issue in this vicnity. They so much believe in mind your business.

Nyceguy92:
Please do not be discouraged by those who say there is little or nothing you can do.
There is a lot you can do for this boy as his teacher.
It could be that destiny has brought him to your class.

A teacher is not just there to teach reading and writing; he also doubles as counselor and social worker.
In those days, when a student was absent from school, his teacher would visit his house to know why.

First, you do not need to hide the situation from the boy's mom. She has to know.
Perhaps, she can arrange something either by herself, through an uncle, aunt, brother, etc, to help the boy.
You have her number, call her.

Secondly, you need to visit the boy's father at home.
He should be happy that somebody is taking a personal interest in his son.
Tell him all you know, including that fact that the boy told you his mom does not live with them.

A man that stays out all night, leaving his young children at home, unless working, sounds to me like a womaniser and drunkard.
Such people are always paranoid; they suspect every move of their wives.

By the way, are the other siblings in school. How old are they?
Is it possible you can post a feedback here sometime?

The boy is 9, his younger brother is 4.
i can't visit the boy's father at home.my safety. Someone that cares less about his sons isn't a nice person.

About contacting the boy's mother was my initial plan.

Adaobi12:
I intend to tell the boy to tell the father to come and see me in school.

Much better, that's the official thing to do,invite him.

Eketem:
Report to the social welfare department in your state, it is found in the local government secretariat. If you are in Lagos even better they have proactive laws to back them up.


As a step in measure, you can support him for the time being with biscuit and some juice.

The child is abused and hungry learning is the last thing on his mind.

Thank you for being a good teacher

Reporting to a welfare department will be the last option if talking to the father and contacting the mother proves abortive.

I buy snacks for him sometimes.

Eketem:
Report to the social welfare department in your state, it is found in the local government secretariat. If you are in Lagos even better they have proactive laws to back them up.


As a step in measure, you can support him for the time being with biscuit and some juice.

The child is abused and hungry learning is the last thing on his mind.

Thank you for being a good teacher

Reporting to a welfare department will be the last option if talking to the father and contacting the mother proves abortive.

I buy snacks for him sometimes.
Thanks alot.

So pitiable but the boy will survive and scale through this phase. My suggestion is for u to become the boy's school mother. If u are bouyant enough and take food to school for yourself, maybe u should package some for the boy too most days. At least, if he doesn't eat at home, he can eat one square meal at school by God's grace. Well done for the snacks u hv been buying him already. May u & ur current/future family never lack bread.
Then like u hv been doing, become his counselor. Let him have someone he can lean on for emotional and moral support. I tell u, he will survive and I doubt he will forget u. Well done

Loisemm:
So pitiable but the boy will survive and scale through this phase. My suggestion is for u to become the boy's school mother. If u are bouyant enough and take food to school for yourself, maybe u should package some for the boy too most days. At least, if he doesn't eat at home, he can eat one square meal at school by God's grace. Well done for the snacks u hv been buying him already. May u & ur current/future family never lack bread.
Then like u hv been doing, become his counselor. Let him have someone he can lean on for emotional and moral support. I tell u, he will survive and I doubt he will forget u. Well done

Thanks. I will try my best.
He is just too cute and looks so innocent to be passing through this.

He is also a talented artist.He loves drawing.

Yes oh like d poster above me have said. Just become his school mother. Try to bring food for him as much as u can so he can eat as he comes to school and during break. If u can provide for the younger brother too fine. If by trying to give d senior one to take home food to d smaller brother will cause a problem. Just find how d two boys can eat at a buka close to dem in d evening n u pay. Cus growing children need food. Most men when they Re not with d mother of d child, child suffers a lot. I for one have that experience. So please if u can try. I know God will give u d grace n strength to do so since he has put it in u to be their helper. God bless u and I pray God grant u all u need in this life. Amen.

Op, I must commend ur actns. I'm sure God brought u 2 dat school 2 save him. Like other's have written, contact his mum, but I doubt if he will be able 2 give u d mum's info, cos he is a child.
In cases like dis, u have 2 involve d Govt, dere is no oda way u can help. It's an emergency, let d Father den face d Govt & see if he won't brace up. Govt can easily demand info 4rm him & he will have no choice but 2 give dem. So dey will send d kids 2 deir mum so she can take care of dem.
Kids like dis can commit suicide, cos dey are vulnerable.
It is well!

dahmie2013:
Op, I must commend ur actns. I'm sure God brought u 2 dat school 2 save him. Like other's have written, contact his mum, but I doubt if he will be able 2 give u d mum's info, cos he is a child.
In cases like dis, u have 2 involve d Govt, dere is no oda way u can help. It's an emergency, let d Father den face d Govt & see if he won't brace up. Govt can easily demand info 4rm him & he will have no choice but 2 give dem. So dey will send d kids 2 deir mum so she can take care of dem.
Kids like dis can commit suicide, cos dey are vulnerable.
It is well!

the boy has the mum's phone number. Contacting the welfare will be the last resort if am unable to reach the mother, or get their father to change. I just want to be careful so that things won't escalate.

phykiesexy:
Yes oh like d poster above me have said. Just become his school mother. Try to bring food for him as much as u can so he can eat as he comes to school and during break. If u can provide for the younger brother too fine. If by trying to give d senior one to take home food to d smaller brother will cause a problem. Just find how d two boys can eat at a buka close to dem in d evening n u pay. Cus growing children need food. Most men when they Re not with d mother of d child, child suffers a lot. I for one have that experience. So please if u can try. I know God will give u d grace n strength to do so since he has put it in u to be their helper. God bless u and I pray God grant u all u need in this life. Amen.

Thanks. i buy snacks and food for him sometimes which he always share with the brother. Am not so financially bouyant to do that all the time.
I just pray something will be done soon. If possible let them just move to Aba with their mother. no how, no how she will atleast feed them well.

Adaobi12:
The boy is 9, his younger brother is 4.
i can't visit the boy's father at home.my safety. Someone that cares less about his sons isn't a nice person.

About contacting the boy's mother was my initial plan.

I understand the fear for your safety.
But you are not an enemy so I seriously believe you won't be harmed.

However, you can take a friend with you.
The result of your visit to the father will give you far more insight into this case and how best to handle it.

By the way, it was very callus of the school authority not to take serious interest in this matter.
They are only after his money, which is not good.

Please follow this matter to its logical conclusion.
If you would provide your phone number, I could send you air time for the call to the mom.
I know you can afford it but that's to show how concerned I am.
May God bless your efforts.