Rommie spoketh in tongues

President Chirac of France was sitting next to Queen Elizabeth of England as theydrove through London in the Queen's open carriage. Such, however were the stomach problems of one of the horses that the ears and noses of the two Heads of State were badly affected.

" You see, Mr President, even the Queen of England cannot control everything." The Queen said.

To which the president replied, in his best English accent and with his well-known subtlety:

"Your Majesty, I appreciate your honesty, I thought it was the horse!"

[size=13pt]Breaking News:[/size]

To mark the first anniversary of United Nations prisons day declaration,

It has agreed that all Former Nigerian head of states, Presidents, present Senators and Governors would be transported to UN prison in Den Hague the Netherlands for one week imprisonment.

romsky:

Ben antashi lafiya yau?

abeg helep me interprete

35 year old Lysaa has been putting off her marriage each time she visits her parents who are expecting her to get married.

Each time she visits her parents, Lysaa would tell them oooh Mum and Dad do not worry I will marry soon.

The next time Lysaa visited her parents, she was about to tell them same gig when her parents interrupted, "No, Lysaa you must marry today or never".

abeg go borrow glasses na Sylve condition don better pass ya own sef

Ben, an me u dey refer to like dat?

no even think am say I fit fear short engine like you

;d

^^Rolls eyes and wonders what this mofo means.

Lol

Lol na by.dot be 'mofo' I no fit laff

if nor be him na come who?

na you for be my next suspect na

Nor be becos By. dey immitate me, naing dem give am dat hard insult?

Na lie! you and am na partners in crime

u be mofo?

A woman goes into a tattoo parlour and tells the tattoo artist that she wants a tattoo of a turkey on her right thigh just below her bikini line. She also wants him to put "Happy Thanksgiving" under the turkey.

So the guy does it and it comes out looking really good. The woman then instructs him to put a Santa tattoo with "Merry Christmas" up on her left thigh.

So the guy does it and it comes out looking good, too. As the woman is getting dressed to leave, the tattoo artist asks, "If you don't mind, could you tell me why you had me put such unusual tattoos on your thighs?"

She says "I'm sick and tired of my husband complaining all the ti me that there's nothing good to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas

A man approached the window of a movie theater with a chicken on his shoulder and asked for two tickets.

"Who's the other ticket for?" the ticket girl asked.

"For my pet chicken." He said, pointing to the bird.

"I'm sorry," the girl tells him, "but we don't allow animals in the theater."

The man walked around the corner of the building, and stuffed the chicken into his pants. He returned to the ticket window and bought a ticket, entered the theater, and sat down.

The chicken started to get too hot, so the man, figuring it was okay because it was dark, unzipped his pants and let the chicken stick its head out.

The woman seated next to him looked down in horror. She nudged her friend Amanda and whispered, "Amanda! This man next to me just unzipped his pants!"

Amanda replied, "Oh, don't worry about it. Just ignore him. If you've seen one, you've seen them all."

The woman whispered back, "I know, I know, but this one's eating my popcorn!"

i am not laughing [img]">http://[/img]

also me

why are you exposing your teeth?

too neat for ur eyes?

Seun don make the teeth emoticon white, that's why una dey misuse am na 

if na brown, everybody for dey wink. .

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it

cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't

know, son, I'm still paying for it."

Three Englishmen were in a bar and spotted an Irishman.

So, one of the Englishmen walked over to the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder, and said, "Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a drunken loser."

"Oh really, hmm, didn't know that."

Puzzled, the Englishman walked back to his buddies. "I told him St. Patrick was a loser, and he didn't care."

The second Englishman remarked, "You just don't know how to set him off, watch and learn."

So, the second Englishman walked over to the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder and said, "Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was lying, cheating, idiotic, low-life scum!"

"Oh really, hmm, didn't know that."

Shocked beyond belief, the Englishman went back to his buddies. "You're right. He's unshakable!"

The third Englishman remarked, "Boys, I'll really tick him off, just watch." So the third Englishman walked over to the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder and said, "I heard St. Patrick was an Englishman!"

"Yeah, that's what your buddies were trying to tell me."

Sid and Al were sitting in a Chinese restaurant. "Sid," asked Al, "are there any Jews in China?"

"I don't know," Sid replied. "Why don't we ask the waiter?"

When the waiter came by, Al asked him, "Are there any Chinese Jews?"

"I don't know sir, let me ask," the waiter replied, and he went into the kitchen. He returned in a few minutes and said, "No, sir. No, Chinese Jews."

"Are you sure?" Al asked.

"I will check again, sir," the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen. While he was still gone, Sid said, "I cannot believe there are no Jews in China. Our people are scattered everywhere."

When the waiter returned he said, "Sir, no Chinese Jews."

"Are you really sure?" Al asked again.

"I cannot believe there are no Chinese Jews."

"Sir, I ask everyone," the waiter replied exasperated. "We have Orange Jews, Prune Jews, Tomato Jews and Grape Jews, but we have no Chinese Jews."

:d

when will you work on the virus killing ur system sef