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Ladies Please, I Need To Pry Into Your Mind. Please Advice by ekanDamie: 7:08pm On Jul 25, 2016
Good afternoon all,
Am not a romancelander really as it took me close to 2 minutes to even find out where the section is on the forum page.
Honestly, i have been thinking of late as i cant just understand how a sweet love affair just turned nasty.

This is quite long pls, for the good readers u would understand that its not a matimatical equation but a true life story, so its best served as long as possible even tho i had to still cut some parts off.

Welll, i happen to be in a office romance with one of my colleagues, it started rather fast, i did not toast her neither did she throw herself shamelessly on me, but she definately did start d fire.
She would come up to my sit, and gist with me for hours, i close earlier than her she would walk me down to the bustop under the pretence initially dat she wanna get sumtin across the road but funny enof sheld end up buying somethin for me instead to take home.

People noticed our closeness, alot admired us and some tryna discouraged me that she was after money n would suck me dry, but the latter i did not believe cos in d initial stage she paid for meals, bot me stuff n even alowed me to use her atm to withdraw moni for us to spend. Actually am not d T-billz kinda guy that lives off a woman, so i had to curb her spending and b d one spending instead d only thing i could not curb was her calls n text message, attimes i wanted to find it choking but we can go on for minutes on paid calls wen i check her acct balance i see debts in hundreds n thousands, i check her dailed calls n sms, its all me n me. She loved selflessly i was inspired.
She seemed turned on and requested that we go down low, how could i reject she was hot from head to toe. I swear it was the best love making of my whole life, it was not about the puss it was all in her bed expressions, her shakings, her involuntary kissing of your body whenever she cums aswear i have never been mesmerized in bed like that before. She completely won my heart with that and also her wifely talks n motivations.

However guys, she was hot tempered, maybe not directly to me at those times but she wouldnt hesistate to give me a lion look wenever shes provoked at work cos her nature of work required that she interfaced with alot of anoying people, i tried to put her through anger management and she was responding well buh not for too long.
On my part, i knew how young i was and i had seen her CV she was 5yrs older than i am.
Dear lord, can i marry someone that old than i am? I told myself i would just have to look her in d face talk about it, discourage her as much as i could also including the fact that i wouldnt be getting married soon even tho she was just a few ticks away from being 30.

After one of our love makings, i decided to open up to her to tell her why we cant be together, she shed tears and i was deeply moved, she was in love and wanted the relationship, my feelings began to grow soft, she said if we can continue atleast for 1yr and see how it goes, i couldnt say no cos aswear i was falling inlove with her so i agreed.
With renewed effort to make the relationship work, her loving ways continued, she would make me tea at work, i would try to look around at work so i could still a kiss, she noticed and taps my mouth and says her usual line, u don see work for shell abi? We would laff.
Even our managers were not unaware of our relationship, they can cast spells on other couples but me n her were just admired and even used in jokes by our bosses. Our union was accepted officially buh we still had to make sure we were not abusing it.

Well, thats majorly how d good parts went, i tried to make a fight one or two times to give d relationship some tension, therein i found out somethin that she never wants to agree she is wrong, she says she dosnt want such arguements that there is a thin line between love and hate. I did find that ridiculous tho cos love should be deep not thin.
Well, on our last stupid quarels, i told her to help me take sometin home n bring it to work d next day, she asked y i couldnt do it myself, i told her cos of distance she stayed close by. She refused i got angry and we did not talk for 2days even at work til i couldnt take it no more i went to her to sette. She vented seriously at me at how i could bear such a shallow fight with her that she aint a kid and cant be in all those small fights, i apologized she claimed she accepted, but things never returned normal again.

During those two days we didnt speak, she changed her fone password?
And after we technically settled she never allowed me acess to her fone, not even touch it. Mind u i was shocked d day another male colleague said he knew her new password (tho he was not saying it to my awareness) i was mad but had to calm down

She stoped being d one ending calls with i love u or it appearing in text messges, even wen i did her response aint as sweet as it used to be. Infact she never had 100naira to buy credit no more, the most i love u i got was from 'please call me, i love u'

I started to irk her with d slightest joke, she claims now that i dont know how to talk or even joke, infact, she even bought breath drops for me that my breath was stinking. Jesun!!!!!!
She would smile with everyone in d office but wen i approach her, her disposition changes
She becomes angry n i start asking her, what did i do? She always says nothing with a stern face, i was now becoming embarrassed at work cos someone that always light up wenever i am around suddenly becomes like dos dull street lights on lagos roads.

I had to sit her down, we had a hard talk, i knew i had my flaws but could it be u dont love me no more? She assured me she still love me but that d relationship is uncertain
Re: Ladies Please, I Need To Pry Into Your Mind. Please Advice by schumastic(m): 7:09pm On Jul 25, 2016
truth is this, she has more experience than you considering the age gap coupled with the amount of relationships experience she must have had and she is using it against you.

1.the mistake you made at first was starting a fight you know you can't win.
2.is bad that you have fallen hard for her and she knows this now and will keep using it to her advantage.

my advice.
ignore her even though it will be hard considering the amount o love you now feel for her but just ignore her and give her that space..if her senses doesn't come back then count it as her loss and not yours, after all you have no plans of getting married anytime soon.

2 Likes

Re: Ladies Please, I Need To Pry Into Your Mind. Please Advice by VampireeM(f): 7:49pm On Jul 25, 2016
To me she was infatuated with you than love. The truth is that the relationship is over cause even if you both get back together, you might end up breaking up.. I wont be suprised if she manages you for the mean time till a better guy comes along if you keep bothering her . Stop begging her and MOVE ON she doesnt know what she wants for now.

Thats why I hate Office Romance and One night stands.

2 Likes

Re: Ladies Please, I Need To Pry Into Your Mind. Please Advice by ekanDamie: 7:58pm On Jul 25, 2016
Uncertain in what sense? That the timeline for me to get married to her was kinda fat.
In my mind, i was lyk didnt u ask for us to date for one year and see how it goes?
Mind you fellas, its just the 3rd month in the relationship and technically 2 months after she asked us to go 1yr.

Well, i did not want to be selfish, i swear i had matured love for this babe that i was ready to do any damn thing to make the relationship work, how would my family allow me marry a woman that older than i am or how will her expectant family waiting for her to bring her man home bring a guy young enough to be her brother and yet does not even have a mobile toilet of his own(paid/rented) or even a bicycle tire n a stick to ride her to work or to church. Im a brokeass but with viable prospects as am still young, but does she has that luxury of time? Hell no i dont expect her to stay i gotta be reasonable.

So, i came up to her as a man with a proposal. I told her how much i love her and want her to be d mother of my kids, oh did i tell u of d part wen she was having morning sickness and she thought she was pregnant and told me jokingly bout it? And instead of being scared we both laugh at every time she doses in d morning. I wasnt scared unlike my previous relationships, we both talked about how we would love to see how our first kid would look like till we were sure it waa just a sign for her menses or sumtin.
Yh, back to d part where i made the proposal, after telling her how i would love for us to be together and all the lovey dovey things in my mind. I told her tho, that i am not pressuring her to be in a relationship she wouldnt be comfortable with, that all i want is for her to be happy. That illd prefare to live the rest of my life knowing shes happy than stuck with me with fear of the unknown. Life can be cruel, she can wait that long for me and sometin happens in d tail end and shes back in square 1.
But that love, relationships are investments that involves high risks, if shes willing to go through the projects with me up to the top, we can do it.
But if she feels it would be too much budden she can as well walk away and i wouldnt hold any grudge, that even if i cant be her lover, i wanna be a part of her life, atleast a friend. She was so good i just dint wanna loose her totally.

Well, she accepted to stay with me, i found that a big challenging for me but i was determined here n then to make it worth d while to do d best i can to make her mine.
We made up, she texted me afterwards n we became almost good again, tho, thos restrictions i told u off earlier reduced. She began telling me of all the men at work that were making both sexual and marriage passes at her, did i mention she was smoking hot? I must have cos i wanna believe her mum ate smoked fish right before giving birth to her. As usual tho we would laff about those advances n illd tease her with them wenever i see this people. But mind u dis people are wealthy, some, my bosses, guys i was outmarched without any iota of doubt.
But after a few days, it all came back, i never since den still had acess to her fone she says she wanna have some privacy n feel more secured.
She was at katty perry termed it, hot n cold, wen a girl changes her mind like dey change sanitary pads during ovulation. Shes sweet this moment n angry at me for no reason next moment, i was begining to be fed up with d whole shit.
Then it dawned on me, its been a while we made out, i with previous experiences have found out that good love calms her nerves down, so i persuaded for us to meet. To my utter disappointment she declined and said she is not in d mood, that cant i go on with a senseless relationship?
There u have it, the only weapon i had in my arsenal to calm her down was shatered. It also did purported something that she has also cut me out from having love with her in additions to previous restrictions. Under that anger i challenged her about someone she slaped at the office, yes slapped, according to her to touched her even wen she told him not to get close, whereas this person was her friend.
As i raised d issue, she flared up n walked away from me, i was stunned. Later she sent a text that we were done that i shouted at her, actually, i did not see this message till d nest day cos i had after her messge told her to stay on her own.

The nezt day ay work she returned some of my personal thing, well, just one tho and walked away. Since then shes not even been looking at my directions, she dosnt reply my texts even wen i call, she does pick but sound scornful on the fone. Its now to everyones notice that we are no longer dating, shes waiting for someone to say i dated her so she can tear d person appart. I told all my friends not to use any of us together in a joke like before. I tried to reach out to her that if we must break up, we dont have to be enemies do we? U shared ur deepest secrets with me, uve confided in me, i know ur personal problems well, until she started hoarding them. We see everyday at work, cmon babe we dont have to be enemies?
She would just walk out on me n tell me shes not my enemy.
I can just walk away but i see her everyday, she feels unperturbed bout d whole issue unlike d last time she was sheding tears, she told me its all about being strong, oh yes physically she is a Strong woman, but is that not too much strenght emotionally?

Every other person is her friend at work even d guy she slapped she can still talk to him buh me, im just a damn nobody to even say hi too, she rubs guys on d head now and call dier names seductively, i can just pass out now buh thank God oxygen is still flying around.
What did i do to deserve this tortue? Work has sudeenly become boring, i feel like quiting but to wherr, N-power or diamond bank?
I just dont know how to deal with this latest callousness from her.
Just imagin me writting all of this epistles.
I NEED HELP
Re: Ladies Please, I Need To Pry Into Your Mind. Please Advice by ekanDamie: 8:08pm On Jul 25, 2016
schumastic:
[b] truth is this, she has more experience than you considering the age gap coupled with the amount of relationships experience she must have had and she is using it against you.[\b]

1.the mistake you made at first was starting a fight you know you can't win.
2.is bad that you have fallen hard for her and she knows this now and will keep using it to her advantage.

my advice.
ignore her even though it will be hard considering the amount o love you now feel for her but just ignore her and give her that space..if her senses doesn't come back then count it as her loss and not yours, after all you have no plans of getting married anytime soon.

U seem versed my bro, i cant disagree with u more on that, she has been in tonnes of relationshipz she says every of her exes always wanted her back.
She does know how to get to that heart.
But as regards d mistake u said i made, i just wanted to be sure that whether or not she was older than i am, i had a say in the relationship like i had my manly authorithy over her cos i was not ready to be anyones puppet.
Your last statememt howver seems to be profound, ignoring her is hardddd, yes with d feelings now attached. But its sometin i just have to do
Re: Ladies Please, I Need To Pry Into Your Mind. Please Advice by ekanDamie: 8:13pm On Jul 25, 2016
VampireeM:
To me she was infatuated with you than love. The truth is that the relationship is over cause even if you both get back together, you might end up breaking up .. I wont be suprised if she manages you for the mean time till a better guy comes along if you keep bothering her . Stop begging her and MOVE ON she doesnt know what she wants for now.

Thats why I hate Office Romance and One night stands.

U guys are making points, infatuation? What was she infatuated about? I earlier heard someone said before we started dating tho that she likes tall guys because of *D* length.
I found that amusing then but ive also thoght about it, was she just in it for D cos she came on strong to me with that, im hungrying for u, that was how the text stated
Re: Ladies Please, I Need To Pry Into Your Mind. Please Advice by Nobody: 8:19pm On Jul 25, 2016
once upon a time u were d toastee & now u re d toaster ; it's just a cycle of life.
I pray she falls 4 u dsame way u do her, but if she doesn't be happy because from ur write up u were looking for a way to discontinue d romance bcoz u weren't comfortable with dating an older girl dan u re
Re: Ladies Please, I Need To Pry Into Your Mind. Please Advice by olaboy1: 8:34pm On Jul 25, 2016
Don't take this personal, the novelty and adrenalin rush she had for you are gone. Build your emotions to a degree where people who leave or stay in your life don't bother you so much. Also remember Naija women generally want their men older than them, no matter how desperate they want marriage, so in your case the 5yr age difference is a big no no. It's hard to find a woman that's older and richer than you and still respects you like you want her to be, women love to look up to an alpha male when it's marriage time. Consider this affair as an office fling and don't think about this again. Dress good, nice hygiene, focus on career and go out their and hit on random girls.
Maybe she suddenly discovered you are not the one, also you need to understand that some women also can be emotionally manipulative and sometimes they just don't want to hurt your feelings by telling you the real reasons they are breaking up with you.
Now is time for you to act like an adult and carry on with your life like you guys never went to bed, don't engage her in this relationship discussion anymore and if she tries to bring it up, tell her you guys are just friends and colleagues in the office.
It's also true she may have been in it for sex, I know it's hard to comprehend this as an average Naija guy because culturally and religiously we have created a deceitful society that makes it look like our girls are truly sexually repressive or ignorant, when in actual fact they laugh behind us at our foolishness and stupidity of us believing that they don't covet sex and fantasies.
A typical Naija girl that wants sex so badly but she is scared of been shamed, would instead throw the question at you..."why are you looking at me like that, do you want sex"...hmmmm. So it's a possibility you have been used for sex and when she said you should give the relationship 1 yr was her way of telling you atleast let me enjoy this D for one more year. Sometimes women go through sexual dry spell also no matter how beautiful they, and during this period a girl you have been disturbing for several years would call you from the blues and ask you straight forward, where are...are you at home,...are you alone...ok am coming. You noticed no greetings, no petty talk, it's straight to the point.

2 Likes

Re: Ladies Please, I Need To Pry Into Your Mind. Please Advice by ekanDamie: 8:37pm On Jul 25, 2016
Ighoga898:
once upon a time u were d toastee & now u re d toaster ; it's just a cycle of life.
I pray she falls 4 u dsame way u do her, but if she doesn't be happy because from ur write up u were looking for a way to discontinue d romance bcoz u weren't comfortable with dating an older girl dan u re
Lool. With d toastee, toaster thingy. Ironies of life yh?
Well yh, i wasnt comfortable in d relationship same way alota us are not comfortable with
School but we just know we gotta go thru it because u believe it will make u happy later in life. She was so sweet i belived illd be happy with her.
Re: Ladies Please, I Need To Pry Into Your Mind. Please Advice by accountbalance: 8:45pm On Jul 25, 2016
Look at it this way bro;

Why hasn't she gotten married since you said she is red hot and all that?

It's probably the same attitude that has pushed her to where she is today.

Obviously, she is cool with the whole snubbing thing and moving on with her life. The only logical conclusion is that she has experience in that particular area because that's not the first time she'd be doing that to a guy.

Leave her be my bro, even if she starts smiling at you, I don't sense a good ending. Just move on with your life, struggle with it, don't quit your job, if there is a cute younger female at work that likes you, I think this is the right time to start paying attention to her.

1 Like

Re: Ladies Please, I Need To Pry Into Your Mind. Please Advice by ekanDamie: 9:19pm On Jul 25, 2016
olaboy1:
1. Don't take this personal, the novelty and adrenalin rush she had for you are gone. Build your emotions to a degree where people who leave or stay in your life don't bother you so much. Also remember Naija women generally want their men older than them, no matter how desperate they want marriage, so in your case the 5yr age difference is a big no no. It's hard to find a woman that's older and richer than you and still respects you like you want her to be, women love to look up to an alpha male when it's marriage time. Consider this affair as an office fling and don't think about this again. 2. Dress good, nice hygiene, focus on career and go out their and hit on random girls.
Maybe she suddenly discovered you are not the one, also you need to understand that some women also can be emotionally manipulative and sometimes they just don't want to hurt your feelings by telling you the real reasons they are breaking up with you.
3.Now is time for you to act like an adult and carry on with your life like you guys never went to bed, don't engage her in this relationship discussion anymore and if she tries to bring it up, tell her you guys are just friends and colleagues in the office.
It's also true she may have been in it for sex, I know it's hard to comprehend this as an average Naija guy because culturally and religiously we have created a deceitful society that makes it look like our girls are truly sexually repressive or ignorant, when in actual fact they laugh behind us at our foolishness and stupidity of us believing that they don't covet sex and fantasies.
A typical Naija girl that wants sex so badly but she is scared of been shamed, would instead throw the question at you..."why are you looking at me like that, do you want sex"...hmmmm. So it's a possibility you have been used for sex and when she said you should give the relationship 1 yr was her way of telling you atleast let me enjoy this D for one more year. Sometimes women go through sexual dry spell also no matter how beautiful they, and during this period a girl you have been disturbing for several years would call you from the blues and ask you straight forward, 4.where are...are you at home,...are you alone...ok am coming. You noticed no greetings, no petty talk, it's straight to the point.

1.you are so right my bro, dis encounter just tested the strenght of my emotions,
Imagin a girl moving on faster than i am, even if she was made of stone i should be made of steel.

2.i thought about that too myself and saw it as sometin i must do to move on, i shouldnt be wearing the look of a broken hearted he goat. I should look sharp.
About dating oda girls in d office or even flirting dat one nogo work eh, its either d fine ones are married or d not too fine ones i just say hi n walk away.

3. Oga mi u are right, but i nogo lie u. The love making was blissful chai guy u need to watch d scenes mehn. It was just Mostly missionary o buh d enjoyment can take u to cementary. Hard to forget buh i will try. And about telling guys we are just friends sometimes she makes me wanna hate her so i start telling guys about our sexcapades n showing dem nude pics n mayb also tell them her V smelt on our last rancour. It did smell realy mayb somtin was wrong sha buh im not that kinda person but its what her ignoring me is pushing me to do just to get back at her.

4.lol u guys are really boosting my ego
Re: Ladies Please, I Need To Pry Into Your Mind. Please Advice by VampireeM(f): 9:31pm On Jul 25, 2016
ekanDamie:


U guys are making points, infatuation? What was she infatuated about? I earlier heard someone said before we started dating tho that she likes tall guys because of *D* length.
I found that amusing then but ive also thoght about it, was she just in it for D cos she came on strong to me with that, im hungrying for u, that was how the text stated


awww.. you sound heart broken and sad.. My dear it takes two commited people for a relationship to work.. From what you ve said you being snubbed meaning you no longer important. I know its tough esp seeing her daily and remembering all that you shared.. You really need to move on by ignoring her completely and blocking you guys good memories cause the more you remember, the sadder you get.. Treat her like any casual colleague you will get over it soon. Hopefullly you might get a job at another office where you wont ve to see her again.
Re: Ladies Please, I Need To Pry Into Your Mind. Please Advice by ekanDamie: 9:36pm On Jul 25, 2016
accountbalance:
Look at it this way bro;

Why hasn't she gotten married since you said she is red hot and all that?

It's probably the same attitude that has pushed her to where she is today.

Obviously, she is cool with the whole snubbing thing and moving on with her life. The only logical conclusion is that she has experience in that particular area because that's not the first time she'd be doing that to a guy.

Leave her be my bro, even if she starts smiling at you, I don't sense a good ending. Just move on with your life, struggle with it, don't quit your job, if there is a cute younger female at work that likes you, I think this is the right time to start paying attention to her.
Hmmmm, so shes just be jumping in and out of relationships thats her aim.
Yh, she told me shes dated so many guys in d past. Mayb im d one blinded here and most likely slept with all of them cos she told me too shes had many sexcapades that she had high anderalin while younger. Maybe wenever shes on d heat she just needs a guy to full her vulva till wen shes had her full.

But what confuses me is this, she never needed to act like a wife material to get laid, she would just be trashy well mayb with only me if she valued some sort of public decency and i would have totally got it that she was in for ssex.
Bsides, she did refuse so many influencial guys who approached her for sss, i can remeber her saying that she dosnt want any scandal. Mayb i was the less scandal guy that would satisfy her she thought.
Re: Ladies Please, I Need To Pry Into Your Mind. Please Advice by ekanDamie: 9:46pm On Jul 25, 2016
VampireeM:



awww.. you sound heart broken and sad.. My dear it takes two commited people for a relationship to work.. From what you ve said you being snubbed meaning you no longer important. I know its tough esp seeing her daily and remembering all that you shared.. You really need to move on by ignoring her completely and blocking you guys good memories cause the more you remember, the sadder you get.. Treat her like any casual colleague you will get over it soon. Hopefullly you might get a job at another office where you wont ve to see her again.
Of course am heart broken n sad but that was before u guys are begining to make me see reasons, right now i feel like going to the office now with my heads up high singing. Aloe blaccs, im the man, im d man, im d maaan!!!

But thats how i use to feel every night before now. Then wen i get to the office jenifer hudson if this aint love will just be playing stupidly in my head.
Im such a mumu walahi
Re: Ladies Please, I Need To Pry Into Your Mind. Please Advice by Twaci(f): 10:16pm On Jul 25, 2016
She gave u her all and u took it for granted with the silly fights and constant poking (looking for troubles in your relationship). Why couldn't u just accept the joy and do your best in upholding the relationship rather than looking for loopholes and down turns. What more did u want?

In just two days she found that attention she yearned for and someone she believes understand her better.

If u still love her, I mean really love and want her.....fight and win her back. Do everything she did earlier to win u.

But if u ain't sure of it anymore..... Move on and let her be.

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Re: Ladies Please, I Need To Pry Into Your Mind. Please Advice by VampireeM(f): 10:20pm On Jul 25, 2016
ekanDamie:

Of course am heart broken n sad but that was before u guys are begining to make me see reasons, right now i feel like going to the office now with my heads up high singing. Aloe blaccs, im the man, im d man, im d maaan!!!

But thats how i use to feel every night before now. Then wen i get to the office jenifer hudson if this aint love will just be playing stupidly in my head.
Im such a mumu walahi


lol. You funny. I'm sure by the time you see her tommorrow you will start singing Rihanna's emotional track "What Now" grin grin
Take it jeje and ignore her. Nothing makes most females steam like Silence.

I wont blame her though she seems like the adventrous type who gets bored easily with men esp after the initial infatuation and curosity has been satisfied. We females are complicated beings. From what you ve even said you were carried away by the sex, gorgeousness and being the lucky dude she chose, more like bruised male ego. I wish you the best as you dance a new tune at work tommorrow smiley
Re: Ladies Please, I Need To Pry Into Your Mind. Please Advice by VampireeM(f): 10:27pm On Jul 25, 2016
Twaci:
She gave u her all and u took it for granted with the silly fights and constant poking (looking for troubles in your relationship). Why couldn't u just accept the joy and do your best in upholding the relationship rather than looking for loopholes and down turns. What more did u want?

In just two days she found that attention she yearned for and someone she believes understand her better.

If u still love her, I mean really love and want her.....fight and win her back. Do everything she did earlier to win u.

But if u ain't sure of it anymore..... Move on and let her be.

My dear, The bold comment shows that the lady was never in love with him but infatuated.. if you truly love someone, you dont get over them quickly enough to jump unto the next attention that seeked.. She is not worth fighting for.. it takes two to make a relationship work.. The lady has found fun else where and so should be freed to enjoy.. He has begged and she still no gree.. Further begging means foolishness
Re: Ladies Please, I Need To Pry Into Your Mind. Please Advice by placeofallure(f): 10:31pm On Jul 25, 2016
Whatever you do OP, do not condescend to the level of sharing your intimate moments with friends. You don't wanna be a kiss and tell, do you? That's kinda immature.

You're lucky because you've gotten sensible people on your thread not the usual who you epp team. I will go with the wise counsel you've received so far, ignore her 101%. Keep a straight face and be very professional around her. Meanwhile dress well and trendy to boost your self esteem or confidence. You can start a masters program or any progressive activity to keep you occupied. These things are not yam and beans it will take extra effort but you know what you are targeting. Relationships shouldn't make people depleted. Please it's time to show her you have moved on already. If you try to salvage it now, you're still coming back to Ground Zero. People like her are who we playfully referred to as Grand mother of experience. Be wise.
Re: Ladies Please, I Need To Pry Into Your Mind. Please Advice by Adebaba1(m): 10:33pm On Jul 25, 2016
Op sebi u don kolobi am, move on bro, there are over 1001 women in the world
Re: Ladies Please, I Need To Pry Into Your Mind. Please Advice by ekanDamie: 10:35pm On Jul 25, 2016
Twaci:
She gave u her all and u took it for granted with the silly fights and constant poking (looking for troubles in your relationship). Why couldn't u just accept the joy and do your best in upholding the relationship rather than looking for loopholes and down turns. What more did u want?

In just two days she found that attention she yearned for and someone she believes understand her better.

If u still love her, I mean really love and want her.....fight and win her back. Do everything she did earlier to win u.

But if u ain't sure of it anymore..... Move on and let her be.
I wasn't looking for loopholes n down turns i only wanted to know how we would fare in dispute. Mayb it turned out nasty but no one goes into any relationship having it all sweet.
How dey respond to heat show how much dey can take together
Re: Ladies Please, I Need To Pry Into Your Mind. Please Advice by Twaci(f): 10:39pm On Jul 25, 2016
VampireeM:


My dear, The bold comment shows that the lady was never in love with him but infatuated.. if you truly love someone, you dont get over them quickly enough to jump unto the next attention that seeked.. She is not worth fighting for.. it takes two to make a relationship work.. The lady has found fun else where and so should be freed to enjoy.. He has begged and she still no gree.. Further begging means foolishness
Oh no dear. Once u have been in a relationship where your feelings are not ENTIRELY reciprocated, a little attention from another guy would seem like bliss.

Now this is the reason ladies break off from a relationship and run into another quickly with hope and promises. They believe the next person would offer better.




To the OP, permit me to say u weren't worth her love.

I have been in this case before. Gave a guy all I had and all he could do was look for loopholes. Test and test and test......till I couldn't take it anymore.
When he finally concluded we were meant for each other, I had lost interest and yearned for a break.

I found the tiniest problem and broke off. Still don't regret it.

You all keep saying we don't love with all we have got....OP you are one of those that made it so.

Lick ur wounds and move on. Then, go look for that "perfect" one.

3 Likes

Re: Ladies Please, I Need To Pry Into Your Mind. Please Advice by ekanDamie: 10:45pm On Jul 25, 2016
VampireeM:



lol. You funny. I'm sure by the time you see her tommorrow you will start singing Rihanna's emotional track "What Now" grin grin
Take it jeje and ignore her. Nothing makes most females steam like Silence.

I wont blame her though she seems like the adventrous type who gets bored easily with men esp after the initial infatuation and curosity has been satisfied. We females are complicated beings. From what you ve even said you were carried away by the sex, gorgeousness and being the lucky dude she chose, more like bruised male ego. I wish you the best as you dance a new tune at work tommorrow smiley
Lool. See u raised a point that has even gotten me confused about my feelings.
Do u think it was the ego of being hailed as the one dating the thickest babe at work,
Been admired wen she makes tea an dropes on my table in d open office or buying my food at the cafeteria, taking it to the warmer and serving me like a boss.
It that what am really missing or its love stil or those things made me fall in love but an infatuated love. Im confusing u right? Am confused jareh.
All i know is i slept 2 full days at home claimed sick at work had my mum bringing drugs to my bed. I was having this unusual cold, me a guy that sleeps bare chested was all covered ul n sober for two working days.
Re: Ladies Please, I Need To Pry Into Your Mind. Please Advice by Twaci(f): 10:50pm On Jul 25, 2016
ekanDamie:

I wasn't looking for loopholes n down turns i only wanted to know how we would fare in dispute. Mayb it turned out nasty but no one goes into any relationship having it all sweet.
How dey respond to heat show how much dey can take together
Why create issues when there were none?

Why not let it come naturally?

Well, its ur life.

1 Like

Re: Ladies Please, I Need To Pry Into Your Mind. Please Advice by ekanDamie: 10:53pm On Jul 25, 2016
placeofallure:
Whatever you do OP, do not condescend to the level of sharing your intimate moments with friends. You don't wanna be a kiss and tell, do you? That's kinda immature.

You're lucky because you've gotten sensible people on your thread not the usual who you epp team. I will go with the wise counsel you've received so far, ignore her 101%. Keep a straight face and be very professional around her. Meanwhile dress well and trendy to boost your self esteem or confidence. You can start a masters program or any progressive activity to keep you occupied. These things are not yam and beans it will take extra effort but you know what you are targeting. Relationships shouldn't make people depleted. Please it's time to show her you have moved on already. If you try to salvage it now, you're still coming back to Ground Zero. People like her are who we playfully referred to as Grand mother of experience. Be wise.

Im not d kiss n tell type mami, it was just anger that made me reason to that part.
See ehn d truth of d matter is i was spose to write a prof exam dis yr that geh distracted me with her supposed love ehn anytime i look at d defination of anything in my book i start reminiscing about her. Chai!!!!
I will resume my study back thats also i have to get over this feeling that i need her desperately.

And LMAO at bolded. I was already impressed with the very two comments n many more sweet ones including urs came true n twaci also seeing things from a diffrent perspective is still mature.

1 Like

Re: Ladies Please, I Need To Pry Into Your Mind. Please Advice by ekanDamie: 10:59pm On Jul 25, 2016
Twaci:
Oh no dear. Once u have been in a relationship where your feelings are not ENTIRELY reciprocated, a little attention from another guy would seem like bliss.

Now this is the reason ladies break off from a relationship and run into another quickly with hope and promises. They believe the next person would offer better.




To the OP, permit me to say u weren't worth her love.

I have been in this case before. Gave a guy all I had and all he could do was look for loopholes. Test and test and test......till I couldn't take it anymore.
When he finally concluded we were meant for each other, I had lost interest and yearned for a break.

I found the tiniest problem and broke off. Still don't regret it.

You all keep saying we don't love with all we have got....OP you are one of those that made it so.

Lick ur wounds and move on. Then, go look for that "perfect" one.
Oh twaci dear, dont u think ur trying to fit pen into a sharpener? Even tho the pen does look like a pencil it cant get sharpened.
What i mean is ur situation might seem alike but trust me i did not go to dat extent. We only dated for 3 months and that was just d 2nd quarell we settled it buh i guess she didnt. Compare how much u took to how much she took, i swear i wasnt in to make her life miserable cos i cared for her bigtime and i always appreciated her, even her confessed to that. So dont make ur case seem exactly like mine
Re: Ladies Please, I Need To Pry Into Your Mind. Please Advice by Donlino(m): 11:03pm On Jul 25, 2016
Lol Dude you were not in a relationship.... You were just a dude to catch fun with, iya don almost clock 30..she wan serious...... Talking from. Experience.
Re: Ladies Please, I Need To Pry Into Your Mind. Please Advice by ekanDamie: 11:05pm On Jul 25, 2016
VampireeM:


My dear, The bold comment shows that the lady was never in love with him but infatuated.. if you truly love someone, you dont get over them quickly enough to jump unto the next attention that seeked.. She is not worth fighting for.. it takes two to make a relationship work.. The lady has found fun else where and so should be freed to enjoy.. He has begged and she still no gree.. Further begging means foolishness
True!

Re: Ladies Please, I Need To Pry Into Your Mind. Please Advice by placeofallure(f): 11:08pm On Jul 25, 2016
ekanDamie:


Im not d kiss n tell type mami, it was just anger that made me reason to that part.
See ehn d truth of d matter is i was spose to write a prof exam dis yr that geh distracted me with her supposed love ehn anytime i look at d defination of anything in my book i start reminiscing about her. Chai!!!!
I will resume my study back thats also i have to get over this feeling that i need her desperately.

And LMAO at bolded. I was already impressed with the very two comments n many more sweet ones including urs came true n twaci also seeing things from a diffrent perspective is still mature.

Yeah! That's the spirit! Move on, nothing do you!
Re: Ladies Please, I Need To Pry Into Your Mind. Please Advice by ekanDamie: 11:19pm On Jul 25, 2016
Hey u lady viewing this thread now, u almost gave me a heart attack. Ur moniker ends with e and starts with N. Actually dats her name. Lol i had to do a fast checkup cos i know shes on nairaland i know her moniker but its not that active except she has anoda
Re: Ladies Please, I Need To Pry Into Your Mind. Please Advice by schumastic(m): 1:23am On Jul 26, 2016
ekanDamie:


U seem versed my bro, i cant disagree with u more on that, she has been in tonnes of relationshipz she says every of her exes always wanted her back.
She does know how to get to that heart.
But as regards d mistake u said i made, i just wanted to be sure that whether or not she was older than i am, i had a say in the relationship like i had my manly authorithy over her cos i was not ready to be anyones puppet.
Your last statememt howver seems to be profound, ignoring her is hardddd, yes with d feelings now attached. But its sometin i just have to do

point1; if everyone of her exes wants her back and they all broke up with her then its obvious she is the problem and need to fix that part right.
point2; if you want to make this work then just do as I say, ignore her and be yourself also bear in mind that no girl wants or would continue to date a guy that's not wanted by other girls(use your head).
point3;pls get yourself a side bae cus u will soon need it, with the way u v fallen hard, that's the only thing that will keep you sane when the truth eventually unveil itself.
point4;NEVER YOU PROMISE ANY LADY MARRIAGE or talk about future kids if you know you are not ready,barely know each other or don't pan on settling down anytime soon, all because you think it will make the relationship work out or solid.bro QUE SERA SERA

goodluck.
Re: Ladies Please, I Need To Pry Into Your Mind. Please Advice by schumastic(m): 1:43am On Jul 26, 2016
Twaci:
Oh no dear. Once u have been in a relationship where your feelings are not ENTIRELY reciprocated, a little attention from another guy would seem like bliss.

Now this is the reason ladies break off from a relationship and run into another quickly with hope and promises. They believe the next person would offer better.




To the OP, permit me to say u weren't worth her love.

I have been in this case before. Gave a guy all I had and all he could do was look for loopholes. Test and test and test......till I couldn't take it anymore.
When he finally concluded we were meant for each other, I had lost interest and yearned for a break.

I found the tiniest problem and broke off. Still don't regret it.

You all keep saying we don't love with all we have got....OP you are one of those that made it so.

Lick ur wounds and move on. Then, go look for that "perfect" one.
this is what they all say and at the end, they still prove he same by deceiving we guys.
Re: Ladies Please, I Need To Pry Into Your Mind. Please Advice by Twaci(f): 7:59am On Jul 26, 2016
schumastic:

this is what they all say and at the end, they still prove he same by deceiving we guys.
undecided

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