"I know what tranquility means, I can talk into the face of night about the stillness of a silvery streaked pond, it's calm; but I can only describe it, I've never felt peace, not in this heavy heart."
I have lived a life of stories, good ones filled with the overcoming of self and the hurdles in life that is present even with a baby's very first step. However a lot has been stories of anguish, bitterness, and the eternal sorrows of a wounded heart yet to be avenged. One of such stories is about my misadventure into sports, groomed by a homosexual predator only to be abused and rejected to heal no more. I've never slept some nights literally, thinking of nothing but revenge not because I am evil but for my heart. The bells, bells they chime at the hour unholy and calm; such an ominous hour when every critter sleeps, I am awaken by the bells, the chiming of the bells of vengeance. I am not in charge of this unholy ritual; these bells toll ghoulishly by themselves like the bells of Canterbury at Thomas Beckett's death.
Like most young kids growing in the late 90s, I wanted to be professional footballer so I saved up money for a second-hand football boot and jerseys. We had the various teams graded according to age but being Nigerians, we had some kids stepping down from the under 15s and 17s into the 13 years bracket so age wasn't as much a requirement as weight; we all had to fall within 45kg, a weight I'd have no trouble on the scales as a very thin child.
There were two dominant youth teams in Uyo, one was coached by Citroen, a PE trainer from Christ the King Primary School(that's the story I heard back then), another was coached by Emman Ntuk. Citroen specialized in the under 15s and 17s with the very talented kids filing to register; I wasn't so talented but what I lacked in natural gifts, I worked hard to cover in training. My lack of the natural touch meant I overcompensated with determination, aggressiveness and stamina hence my position of left back which was a difficult position that every other talented player didn't want to venture into.
I couldn't make it into Citroen's team because I wasn't "the exceptionally gifted 12 year old" but Emman Ntuk readily accepted my offer to train with his team. I trained hard and we worked in a large team but my niche position at left back meant I had little competition for a starting place. Emman Ntuk would be appointed by the ministry of sports of the Akwaibom State Government to ready a team of under 13s for the national tournament which was to hold in Benin.
We didn't just get to be selected by AKSG but we won a series of qualifying matches within the state and there I was in the brink of representing my state in a competition that was to take place the following year.
Towards the end of the year 1999; training intensified and I was so sure of making the team that I skipped school to join the morning sessions at CKS. I would hear the rest of the boys joke about another player called Akpan-boy who had an unusually big pair of ears, these boys were in the inner circle and they were closer to the coach than the others. They would call Akpan-boy "awan coach!" I never understood such complex euphemism and words such as "homo" and "paedophile" were totally not in my vocabulary, I'd never heard or known what they meant so I had nothing to fear.
I have a very watchful mother who doubled as a father, she was particularly strict on curfews but on the night of new year, every child could stay up till late in the morning watching fireworks and throwing a couple bangers into neighboring properties so my mum didn't know I would be assaulted on that night of 1999 by Emman Ntuk.
Usually the night of 31st is spent in churches praying into the new year and we did that in the coach's church, I had joined on invitation and the other 3 boys closest to the coach were there. After the service, Emman Ntuk persuaded me to follow him and the other boys to his house; I wouldn't agree at first because I wanted to be in my neighborhood watching the fireworks but then the year we entered was the tourname

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