ayobase:


You story is gonna change VERY soon.
Show me a man diligent in his work....

Amen, thanks.

Op, Read everything on this thread and thank me later. https://www.nairaland.com/1483094/thread-those-suffering-depression-anxiety

AnalyticEngine:
Me, I graduated with 2,1 in chemical engineering and have been roaming the streets for 2yrs now. I have bought rope already, waiting for my frustration to reach its threshold. Alternatively, I can also build a simple equipment that can saturate my 64 cubic metres room with lethal concentration of carbon monoxide in a few hours. I've gat no time to waste on joblessness. I cannot continue to feed on people's hardwork. It aint my principle.

Pls don't kill yourself, it's not worth it. Try and read this thread https://www.nairaland.com/1483094/thread-those-suffering-depression-anxiety

Lotil:
I wish I had the right words for you. Alas, I don't as I have bouts of depression myself. Me, I'm 32, jobless and hopeless, beautiful for nothing. I'm described as intelligent, l know I am..I know we all know our good qualities but that is nonsense when you graduate with a 2.2. There's no day l don't regret my result. The missed opportunities, shame and so on.. 99.9% of Graduate Trainee jobs are reserved for the 2.1s and 1st Class. Yearly, I watch as banks and other multinationals conduct their search for the "Best" of us. Well..if waec result counts for anything, l had distinctions in Economics, Commerce, Biology and Literature in English and 4 Cs. Yet, l went to college to waste my life!

It wasn’t even that l was partying and bed hopping with aristos. Maybe if l did that-just maybe.

You see, I lived a simple life in school. When I think about it, l wonder what the eff I was doing with my time that l failed to save the day. Financial security and independence are the most important to me, yet l did nothing to prepare for that aspect of my future.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not one to live in the past or wallow in self-pity. Just that my sibling who completed Nysc June this year is a constant reminder that I've not moved forward. She's a 2.1 graduate and still has many years ahead of her. I'm 7 years older than she. Her elder sister, my junior, has been married two years now. So I'm like, "what a wasted life".

Sometimes I look at my family and feel sorry for them. I do because it’s just a matter of time before I take my life. The only reason I haven't done it is because of my mum. Every time I see myself at the other side, a mental image of her forms before me. Then I know I can't do it. It'd ruin her. It'd finish her. I can't do that to her.
It's just for my mum. Everything is for my mum. And even though it's for her that I wouldn't take my life, it's still because of her l will eventually do it.

Because I'm her first child and I ought to have been more responsible. To be working and married. I'm 32. See, I'm not even dating. I'm guilty of a lot of things...not making money, can't take care of my family. I'm guilty of eating my mum's food and 'eating from the same plate' with my sisters. At my age? I'm 13 years older than my kid sister who is in 400 level now.
if I’m gone I wouldn’t be around to remind my mum that I failed her or that I’m a disappointment.
I'm not completely hopeless though. I still make effort. I applied to Firs and NRC and I'm not stopping there yet. I read. I wrote a test last week. But none of these can stop the throbbing pain and the only thing that can free me is death.

This isn't a cry for help. I have learnt that nobody helps you but you. And God forbids that I blame the economy. I wouldn't allow myself such weakness. I know I could have done better in school and that Pry and Secondary Education are to equip you with writing and reading skills, only that. B.Sc is the real foundation. Afterall it’s where you get the results employers want. I also know Masters/Professional Certifications are a good support. But you don't get those papers F.O.C.

I'm sorry I'm not one to light a candle for you @poster but you should know l feel somewhat better sharing my own on here.

which state do you live?

Depression is something i have gone through twice in life. It is not what anyone should undergo.

For all those with these pitiable stories,just hang in there and i pray your stories change for good


@lotil,i'll send u a pm. Wanna lighten up ur mood

nnamdiosu:



Your first mistake....you looked up to seun to save you instead of God that created both you and seun.

Second mistake..you forgot the fact that everyone , even seun has his own problems. So why do u won't to saddle another human being with yours?
Look bro.....just look up to God. I know it aimt easy but trust me sooooooo many people are worst than you but them still keeping hope alive. Just be prayerful. Hopeful. God will see you thru ijn. Amen

Nnam You're so correct, we should only look up to Jesus, the Author and Finisher of our faith...

.,

Samtobh:
it is well with you OP.

I'm a First class Graduate since 2012, sleeping on a bed made from cartoon box in one of the office I got to work with June this year.Denied more than 5 scholarships alone this year and still hoping for better days. Suicide ain't an option bro, I graduated tops of my class and still yet, it ain't what I thought I'll be.keep up the hope, send me a PM! I'm gonna call you.

#Peace


Modified

I have created a thread for something like this. Comments will be appreciated.


https://www.nairaland.com/3358818/no-job-depressed-feeling-suicidal#49500003

hmm, denied 5 scholarships? There may be a spiritual conspiracy towards dat broda.....it can't be ordinary. Go for deliverance. I don talk my own.
Why not go back to ur dept, talk wit ur lecturers n HOD, and be a graduate assistant.

Rolly83:


My God!!!! What a touching story..I'm totally short of words.... Sister,pls I beg of u don't give up pls pls!

wahala dey. Mehn, nigeria is doomed.
Frm her write up i can decifer innocence and intelligence.....kai.
God hv mercy

@Lotil.
Jst hang on. Spread ur tentacles to other ventures. Learn new skills.
Make frnds and connects/network.
Free ur mind. If u can relocate/move away from that environs, it will be better.
God will locate u soon, dear.

Lotil:
I wish I had the right words for you. Alas, I don't as I have bouts of depression myself. Me, I'm 32, jobless and hopeless, beautiful for nothing. I'm described as intelligent, l know I am..I know we all know our good qualities but that is nonsense when you graduate with a 2.2. There's no day l don't regret my result. The missed opportunities, shame and so on.. 99.9% of Graduate Trainee jobs are reserved for the 2.1s and 1st Class. Yearly, I watch as banks and other multinationals conduct their search for the "Best" of us. Well..if waec result counts for anything, l had distinctions in Economics, Commerce, Biology and Literature in English and 4 Cs. Yet, l went to college to waste my life!

It wasn’t even that l was partying and bed hopping with aristos. Maybe if l did that-just maybe.

You see, I lived a simple life in school. When I think about it, l wonder what the eff I was doing with my time that l failed to save the day. Financial security and independence are the most important to me, yet l did nothing to prepare for that aspect of my future.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not one to live in the past or wallow in self-pity. Just that my sibling who completed Nysc June this year is a constant reminder that I've not moved forward. She's a 2.1 graduate and still has many years ahead of her. I'm 7 years older than she. Her elder sister, my junior, has been married two years now. So I'm like, "what a wasted life".

Sometimes I look at my family and feel sorry for them. I do because it’s just a matter of time before I take my life. The only reason I haven't done it is because of my mum. Every time I see myself at the other side, a mental image of her forms before me. Then I know I can't do it. It'd ruin her. It'd finish her. I can't do that to her.
It's just for my mum. Everything is for my mum. And even though it's for her that I wouldn't take my life, it's still because of her l will eventually do it.

Because I'm her first child and I ought to have been more responsible. To be working and married. I'm 32. See, I'm not even dating. I'm guilty of a lot of things...not making money, can't take care of my family. I'm guilty of eating my mum's food and 'eating from the same plate' with my sisters. At my age? I'm 13 years older than my kid sister who is in 400 level now.
if I’m gone I wouldn’t be around to remind my mum that I failed her or that I’m a disappointment.
I'm not completely hopeless though. I still make effort. I applied to Firs and NRC and I'm not stopping there yet. I read. I wrote a test last week. But none of these can stop the throbbing pain and the only thing that can free me is death.

This isn't a cry for help. I have learnt that nobody helps you but you. And God forbids that I blame the economy. I wouldn't allow myself such weakness. I know I could have done better in school and that Pry and Secondary Education are to equip you with writing and reading skills, only that. B.Sc is the real foundation. Afterall it’s where you get the results employers want. I also know Masters/Professional Certifications are a good support. But you don't get those papers F.O.C.

I'm sorry I'm not one to light a candle for you @poster but you should know l feel somewhat better sharing my own on here.

The pain I felt reading this. Please I know we can not help everybody.But we can help some.

Lotil:
I wish I had the right words for you. Alas, I don't as I have bouts of depression myself. Me, I'm 32, jobless and hopeless, beautiful for nothing. I'm described as intelligent, l know I am..I know we all know our good qualities but that is nonsense when you graduate with a 2.2. There's no day l don't regret my result. The missed opportunities, shame and so on.. 99.9% of Graduate Trainee jobs are reserved for the 2.1s and 1st Class. Yearly, I watch as banks and other multinationals conduct their search for the "Best" of us. Well..if waec result counts for anything, l had distinctions in Economics, Commerce, Biology and Literature in English and 4 Cs. Yet, l went to college to waste my life!

It wasn’t even that l was partying and bed hopping with aristos. Maybe if l did that-just maybe.

You see, I lived a simple life in school. When I think about it, l wonder what the eff I was doing with my time that l failed to save the day. Financial security and independence are the most important to me, yet l did nothing to prepare for that aspect of my future.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not one to live in the past or wallow in self-pity. Just that my sibling who completed Nysc June this year is a constant reminder that I've not moved forward. She's a 2.1 graduate and still has many years ahead of her. I'm 7 years older than she. Her elder sister, my junior, has been married two years now. So I'm like, "what a wasted life".

Sometimes I look at my family and feel sorry for them. I do because it’s just a matter of time before I take my life. The only reason I haven't done it is because of my mum. Every time I see myself at the other side, a mental image of her forms before me. Then I know I can't do it. It'd ruin her. It'd finish her. I can't do that to her.
It's just for my mum. Everything is for my mum. And even though it's for her that I wouldn't take my life, it's still because of her l will eventually do it.

Because I'm her first child and I ought to have been more responsible. To be working and married. I'm 32. See, I'm not even dating. I'm guilty of a lot of things...not making money, can't take care of my family. I'm guilty of eating my mum's food and 'eating from the same plate' with my sisters. At my age? I'm 13 years older than my kid sister who is in 400 level now.
if I’m gone I wouldn’t be around to remind my mum that I failed her or that I’m a disappointment.
I'm not completely hopeless though. I still make effort. I applied to Firs and NRC and I'm not stopping there yet. I read. I wrote a test last week. But none of these can stop the throbbing pain and the only thing that can free me is death.

This isn't a cry for help. I have learnt that nobody helps you but you. And God forbids that I blame the economy. I wouldn't allow myself such weakness. I know I could have done better in school and that Pry and Secondary Education are to equip you with writing and reading skills, only that. B.Sc is the real foundation. Afterall it’s where you get the results employers want. I also know Masters/Professional Certifications are a good support. But you don't get those papers F.O.C.

I'm sorry I'm not one to light a candle for you @poster but you should know l feel somewhat better sharing my own on here.

I had to double check if I wrote this. if not u are older and some few things here and there I would have swore I wrote this. I can totally and completely relate!

dania30:


I had to double check if I wrote this. if not u are older and some few things here and there I would have swore I wrote this. I can totally and completely relate!

God is in control.

Samtobh:
it is well with you OP.

I'm a First class Graduate since 2012, sleeping on a bed made from cartoon box in one of the office I got to work with June this year.Denied more than 5 scholarships alone this year and still hoping for better days. Suicide ain't an option bro, I graduated tops of my class and still yet, it ain't what I thought I'll be.keep up the hope, send me a PM! I'm gonna call you.

#Peace


Modified

I have created a thread for something like this. Comments will be appreciated.


https://www.nairaland.com/3358818/no-job-depressed-feeling-suicidal#49500003

my guy sam. I celebrate You

Earn extra cash online. Don't let the economic recession have adverse effects on your income. Why not invest in a business that will earn you steady income working online. Be wise, don't put all your eggs in one basket.
Get a free registration and #500 bonus to start with. Visit the website on the picture and use spank4real as your sponsor.

Me I am a graduate all my mates are married me I am a security man earn less than 25k per month succidcidal thought is a stage in life .

.,

Samtobh:

Oga Seun, I know how it feels. But I haven't given suicide a thought anyway. Imagine a 4.58/5.00 CGPA still roaming the streets, begging for t-fare after being stranded looking for jobs, V.I, Ibadan, etc. Hmmmm......Lord Save me!

It's now I believe First Class is just an Academic Greatness..... Just 5months of joblessness , I am tired already.......May God crown our efforts with well deserved successes

SuPeRq:
It's now I believe First Class is just an Academic Greatness..... Just 5months of joblessness , I am tired already.......May God crown our efforts with well deserved successes

Let's connect sister, maybe we could work something out.

SuPeRq:

Samtobh:

Bro and sis,

Sorry for asking? why didn't both of you explore opportunities as a graduate assistant in your various schools and respective departments?


At least, it was what I was told by my lecturer back in the days in a federal university that the federal government law is first class, for graduate assistant position in the university.


Atleast, they suppose to honor that arrangement or are they doing 'IM' and probably 'tribal stuff'?

Don't know what drove me but i put a cord on my neck n tighten it so hard, i could feel that rapid headache but the after feeling of what i did felt good and relieved i sure would try it again. Depression is a war, you either win or die trying, my heart beat hasn't been slow recently its so fast. Whatever i hope all this stress is worth it, I hope it eventually pays, I hope I have a success story n if i dnt wtevr jare.

Gewezzy1:
Don't know what drove me but i put a cord on my neck n tighten it so hard, i could feel that rapid headache but the after feeling of what i did felt good and relieved i sure would try it again. Depression is a war, you either win or die trying, my heart beat hasn't been slow recently its so fast. Whatever i hope all this stress is worth it, I hope it eventually pays, I hope I have a success story n if i dnt wtevr jare.

send me a PM

PM me.

yusufadebayo02:
Dear Oluwaseun Osewa,
I don come to yarn u my depress story o. Cos as i dey is like
say i no dey exist ni.
I graduated at 27years (2010) from Kwara State Polytechnics with an
HND in Business Administration, Lower Credit. I observed my youth
service corp at Ministry Of Defence Abuja(2011).
Social anxiety hit hard
in the middle of college and I became a hermit, doing well
academically but suffering in terms of networking.
I've been struggling and struggling to find meaningful work ever since
graduating and I'm quickly slipping more into my self-destruction and
depression-related behavior. I'll spend half a week in bed and be
happy for it. I'll drink myself into comfort constantly. I have 4
years of off/on hard substance abuse, depression, self-harm and
suicide ideation. As far back as elementary school I used to write
suicide notes for "recreation", I glorified misery, etc.
While all that stuff mellowed out in school (except for anxiety, which
too mellowed out around my last year), after failed attempts at work
I'm feeling more and more like a total failure when I see how many of
my peers are financially independent and doing well for themselves. I
suggest continuing into further study which am now in PGD session at Lautech with installment option. The school was shutdown due to economic recession and management unable to pay their staffs salaries.
This is what i expect with high unemployment stuff, just to stay out of
the bad market and add to my qualifications, hoping to find work later
when conditions have improved. I have #5,000 in my saving account and
am out of my apartment in 3 weeks.
In the past I never hated life enough to end it, and I couldn't
because I knew my mildly disabled sibling would need me when our
parents pass. Also in my culture I think the grief would bring
irreparable harm to my parents. But recently... those facts are
seeming like smaller and smaller deterrents. I don't know. I sat in
training for a shitty call center job today and zoned out thinking
about where I'd do it, river or rope, what and to whom I'd leave as
notes, etc.
None of my friends know. I'm handsome, fun to be around, completely
sane-looking and sane-behaving (besides my scarred parts). I'm dating
a beautiful intelligent woman and have no problem meeting more, etc,
but no one knows how broke I am or how close I am to breaking. If I
did it I can't think of anyone who'd not be surprised.
I used to have such grand dreams for what I'd want my life to be like;
I used to be a skilled Embroidery Designer, my old Designer friends
are now abroad in famous stylist shop, etc... meanwhile, I wake today
and received calls of two of a beer parlour that pays token and is
itself a potent source of shame for me. How did I Bleep up this bad.
Baba Seun, i will like you to whistle this my story to those it consign to
come for my rescue.
Yusuf Adebayo writes.
07038898819.

Gewezzy1:
Don't know what drove me but i put a cord on my neck n tighten it so hard, i could feel that rapid headache but the after feeling of what i did felt good and relieved i sure would try it again. Depression is a war, you either win or die trying, my heart beat hasn't been slow recently its so fast. Whatever i hope all this stress is worth it, I hope it eventually pays, I hope I have a success story n if i dnt wtevr jare.

Houdegbe Girl....check your PM

Legacy80s:
I laugh when i read diff. stories.....
I must say that there's no situation in life that can warrant you taking your own life. I've not seen that sad or terrible situation in life that's worth it. You guys are you taking these issues to the extreme. When you hear other ppl's situation, your mouth will remain open for atleast 40seconds.
I can't stop laughing cos I have my reasons, If anyone should take his/her own life, you're already a failure.
1. Do you want to know how many years it took me to get a job?
2. Do you care to know how many years i spent in the tertiary institution after my set graduated?
3. Do you want to know how my first wife left because I can't afford anything?
4. Do you wish to know how many years i spent with my parents and collecting N150 per day?
5. Do you feel like knowing how my stories changed?
6. You care to know my present status?

My Brothers and Sisters, if you kill yourself you LOOSE, after 2weeks we forget about you.

[b]Answers:
1. 7years
2. 3years.
3. Her mother packed her belongings from my house with 1week old baby, that i can't take care of them. (Mind you, I've not seen the Boy till date)
4. 10years.
5. I dressed well and visit offices on the Island, asking to work for free for a month. (I source for tfare from church members)
6. I got a job as a Safety Officer the building office I went to last August with a monthly gross pay of N310,000.00


IF I HAD KILLED MYSELF, I WON'T BE ENJOYING NOW. MY ANNUAL RENT IS N650,000

Thank you sir.

Seun:
His major problem is depression. All the other things are just symptoms. His life is not as bad as he feels. If it was that bad he would be single.

Exactly my point. Result not bad,Good writing skills, dating an intelligent woman......getting a small Job to survive shldnt be a problem because he is not married. I guess he is just tired of trying

DAramis:



Bro and sis,

Sorry for asking? why didn't both of you explore opportunities as a graduate assistant in your various schools and respective departments?


At least, it was what I was told by my lecturer back in the days in a federal university that the federal government law is first class, for graduate assistant position in the university.


Atleast, they suppose to honor that arrangement or are they doing 'IM' and probably 'tribal stuff'?

You just hits the nail on the head. We were discarded whereas they recruit all the time. May God pave ways for us....... Success is not celebrated in Nigeria

SuPeRq:
You just hits the nail on the head. We were discarded whereas they recruit all the time. May God pave ways for us....... Success is not celebrated in Nigeria

The bolded is the truth.
The funny thing is that, if you find your way out of this country and make giant strides in your field of endeavor, the same 'country people' (I mean politicians) will start preaching to you about the need to come back home and contribute and at the same time playing the "brain draining card" by the European country(ie taking the best African scholars away from their country).

A typical example is "Philip Emeagwali" who would have died of frustration and poverty if not for the opportunity he has to travel out in the form of scholarship.

We all should keep on pushing till it gets better.
Please Madam, try as much as possible to also explore scholarship opportunities, hopefully something positive might come out of it(I am also looking in that direction).

GOD will definitely bless our efforts and his grace will manifest in our life.

DAramis:

The bolded is the truth.
The funny thing is that, if you find your way out of this country and make giant strides in your field of endeavor, the same 'country people' (I mean politicians) will start preaching to you about the need to come back home and contribute and at the same time playing the "brain draining card" by the European country(ie taking the best African scholars away from their country).

A typical example is "Philip Emeagwali" who would have died of frustration and poverty if not for the opportunity he has to travel out in the form of scholarship.

We all should keep on pushing till it gets better.
Please Madam, try as much as possible to also explore scholarship opportunities, hopefully something positive might come out of it(I am also looking in that direction).

GOD will definitely bless our efforts and his grace will manifest in our life.

Trying hard thou but cheap things ain't come ease. May God continue to ease our affairs and rectify them. Nigeria will be great when a son/daughter of nobody can become somebody without connections.

SuPeRq:
Trying hard thou but cheap things ain't come ease. May God continue to ease our affairs and rectify them. Nigeria will be great when a son/daughter of nobody can become somebody without connections.

Amen

This is Pleadge I got a mail from you via NL , please how may i help you