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Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? - Religion (5) - Nairaland

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Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 10:53pm On Oct 04, 2016
TV01:


Love the bible me. Untrammelled - and often unpalatable - truth grin. And please, I'm an equal opportunity bully, insulter and talk down-oner" cool.

Can't rightly tell if you are after a discussion, fight or just looking to score cheap points. Any which way, I can't say I really give a toss, you haven't shown you possess the heft.


TV

You are not only a domestic abuser you also qualify to be a spiritual abuser using the Bible. angry

1 Like

Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 10:56pm On Oct 04, 2016
TV01:


If abuse - as opposed to low level conflict - occurs in a marriage, spouses should seek immediate resolution. Even low level conflict should not be a feature of a healthy marriage, let alone a christian one. Love & submission. How hard is that undecided?

If abuse is escalating or serious, endangered party should seek to remove themselves from the situation, seek the right help, and if necessary remain separated for their well-being, until such time as the situation is resolved.

Divorce does not save one from abuse, it can take years to process a divorce. Lots of domestic, indeed more domestic abuse occurs between "unmarried couples". Domestic abuse is not an inherent feature of marriage.

If after all efforts a resolution to effect reconciliation cannot be found, you can remain separated, but you cannot remarry. Christian marriage is until death do part. Any subsequent "union" whilst the spouse is still alive is adultery.

I know huh? Shine eye, look well, choose wisely and enter the institution with the requisite sobriety. Christianity is not for flakes, marriage is not for the faint-hearted. grin


TV

Marriage is not for abusers it's for lovers. cool

1 Like

Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 10:59pm On Oct 04, 2016
missjo:


It was a simple question,but now that I see you going on the defensive and finding a way to still talk down on me before getting to type 50 complete words, is just sad to be honest.

Again I ask,is this the Christian way?

It is not the Christian way to abuse themselves. TV is reflecting a bad example of an abusive Christian marriage.
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 11:01pm On Oct 04, 2016
TV01:


There is simply no pleasing some people is there?? grin. I answered you in a way that fully met the expectations you set out; bullying, insulting and down talking - and you still aren't happy grin grin.

You opened by making unfounded and unsubstantiated allegations against me and then claim I went on the defensive cheesy. You are? Like I said, you don't have the heft.

What makes you think you have the right to pose questions or demand answers of me. If you aren't a Christian what's it to you? If you are, you should know. Orishi rishi up in here presenting an ersatz spirituality. If you have nothing cogent to say, feel free to disappear up your own fundament grin.

I continue to deliver cool


TV

I didn't know that you are a spiritual abuser too. undecided

1 Like

Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 11:06pm On Oct 04, 2016
orunto27:


An abused wife is unequally yoked with the man. She can go to Court to settle. Biafra is not unequally yoked with Nigeria. She has no issue to worry about. The North is unduely bleeping off the South with Fulani Herdsmen and Sharia, therefore, the responsibilies of the FG should be reduced and decentralised to the 36 States to make them fully autonomous. Short reckoning makes long friendship.

The abused wife has every right to report the abuse to the necessary authorities she should not keep silent.

1 Like

Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 11:08pm On Oct 04, 2016
crackhaus:


...for richer for poorer, in sickness in health, TILL DEATH DO US PART...

For everyone who believes strongly that abuse in whatever form is valid grounds for divorce, please I take God beg you, do not stand in front of a pastor and swear that oath above using the bible. cheesy

Just do traditional and court marriage, don't joke with yourself by going near a church, bible, or pastor. gringrin

I wish folks understand what they are getting themselves into before they tie the knot. undecided
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 11:10pm On Oct 04, 2016
Mindfulness:


Amen. grin

I thought Christians also swear to love, cherish, protect and respect each other. grin

Many so called Christians don't remember this in marriage they only remember the clause: 'no divorce!' cool

1 Like

Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 11:10pm On Oct 04, 2016
TV01:


Why don't you show us from the bible?

TV

Show you what? undecided
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 11:12pm On Oct 04, 2016
crackhaus:


My dear, trust me...I don't know how to deceive myself, which is why I'm not a regular church goer so I can't really qualify as an effective believer. grin

Which is why I stand by this:


[size=16pt]It isn't by force to have a Christian (church) marriage when you believe in divorce.[/size] cheesycheesy

I've said my own. grin

But some folks keep deceiving themselves that they are Christians but in reality they are abusers that need to be locked up.
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 11:15pm On Oct 04, 2016
Mindfulness:


I know. wink smiley



That's exactly the reason why I wouldn't want to do it but if we consistently apply this logic, then 99% of all Christians would be excluded from church because we would also have to say this:

If you lie, you shouldn't go to church.
If you have premarital s.ex, you shouldn't call yourself a Christian.
If you hate on people, you are not a Christian. grin

The list is looooooooonger.

But the beauty of this religion is that Jesus taught forgiveness - even for the worst of sins. cheesy smiley

So all a Christian has to do, is to go and confess and repent. grin
And the cycle closes and continues.

The church is meant to be like an hospital where the sick come to get their healing, sinners get saved, it is not meant to be an hotel or club.
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 11:16pm On Oct 04, 2016
Ishilove:


Let's not also forget women abuse men too.

That is very true. cool
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 11:17pm On Oct 04, 2016
Miladi:


Abuse; either physical or emotional (emotional seems even worse, since it will be hard for the outsiders to notice it least of intervening) should be abhorred by any sane people. So, either separation or outright divorce should be applied, whenever it becomes a regular occurrence - life has no duplicate. relationship/association should be enjoyed not endured.

To the question, when you hear most people say they are divorcing due to some irreconcilable differences, abuse (especially emotional type) is usually that unspoken word.

It is true in the sense that it is difficult to detect and explain.
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 11:19pm On Oct 04, 2016
crackhaus:


Well, I can't say people who do those things shouldn't go to church, but they definitely shouldn't call themselves Christians.
And don't get it twisted, a lot of people DO NOT pray for forgiveness. They just assume their presence in church automatically cleanses sins. cheesy

Did you know that part of the reason Nigeria is the way it is, has a little something to do with our false sense of religion?
- Politicians do what they want with our collective wealth, but because they go to church on Sundays to give million-naira tithes and donations, they believe all is forgiven.

- The average Nigerian who hates on his/her neighbour, speaks ill of him/her, cheats, envies, fornicates, and basically breaks at least one of the 10 commandments every single day, still assumes Sunday service is enough to cleanse it all.


This is the only reason people can confidently swear an oath that should only be broken by death, and then use all sorts of sentiments to explain why they can't keep the oath—well, news flash: If you can't keep it, don't take it.
The courts and most traditional practices recognize abuse as a very good reason for divorce...so peeps best stick with marrying ONLY within the confines of the law and not the scriptures.

I do not judge though, I just think Christians ought to pick a side.
You are either for God or for the devil, no such thing as one leg in one leg out. gringrin

This is the malaise affecting the state of the nation as we see it.
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 12:26am On Oct 05, 2016
jnrbayano:


This thread should be captioned OLAADEGBU vs TV01...

TV01 is winning convincingly at the moment.

*following

You mean abusers are winning, no? undecided

2 Likes

Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by raumdeuter: 12:59am On Oct 05, 2016
OLAADEGBU:


How do all those points listed above count for abuse? undecided

All these are emotional, financial or some form of abuse and are all grounds for divorce
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by jnrbayano(m): 7:18am On Oct 05, 2016
OLAADEGBU:


You mean abusers are winning, no? undecided

So you mean to tell me you only understand TV01's points/argument as making case for the abusers?

Hello??
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 10:37am On Oct 05, 2016
raumdeuter:


All these are emotional, financial or some form of abuse and are all grounds for divorce

I don't think so.
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 10:39am On Oct 05, 2016
jnrbayano:


So you mean to tell me you only understand TV01's points/argument as making case for the abusers?

Hello??

That is the case. Those who trivialise abuse in marriage are only showing themselves to be domestic abusers. cool
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by Nobody: 10:41am On Oct 05, 2016
OLAADEGBU, pardon me, but you confuse me. I asked you this
Timbuktu: Do you think it would be ok for a man to divorce his wife over emotional abuse?
To which you unabashedly replied;
OLAADEGBU: No
Now you say this;
OLAADEGBU:

Emotional abuse can render the victim as an emotional wreck which is even worse. cry

I am not understanding. Please explain, why victims of one type of abuse can legitimately, according to you, jump to divorce and victims of another do not have such luxuries. Please, try your very best not to contradict yourself this time.
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by Nobody: 10:53am On Oct 05, 2016
OLAADEGBU:


That is the case. Those who trivialise abuse in marriage are only showing themselves to be domestic abusers. cool

This sounds like something that would come out if the mouth of a woman or someone whose capacity for logic is zero.

According to this thread, all TV has said is that you can leave the immediate environment of the abusing spouse but not the marriage which is actually in line with the Bible you claim to represent. You will need to show where TV has trivialised abuse or you are a liar; and you know you all liars will have their place in the lake of fire per Revelations21: 8. Are you ready to be allocated a plot of land with C of O in the lake of fire, sir? grin

1 Like

Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 11:00am On Oct 05, 2016
Timbuktou:


OLAADEGBU, pardon me, but you confuse me. I asked you this

To which you unabashedly replied;

Now you say this;


I am not understanding. Please explain, why victims of one type of abuse can legitimately, according to you, jump to divorce and victims of another do not have such luxuries. Please, try your very best not to contradict yourself this time.

You either show us the evidence where I said that victims of abuse can legitimately jump to divorce or forever hold your horse. cool

2 Likes

Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 11:04am On Oct 05, 2016
Timbuktou:


This sounds like something that would come out if the mouth of a woman or someone whose capacity for logic is zero.

According to this thread, all TV has said is that you can leave the immediate environment of the abusing spouse but not the marriage which is actually in line with the Bible you claim to represent. You will need to show where TV has trivialised abuse or you are a liar; and you know you all liars will have their place in the lake of fire per Revelations21: 8. Are you ready to be allocated a plot of land with C of O in the lake of fire, sir? grin

Are you TV's spokesman/woman? Let TV deny that he hasn't trivialised abuse and then I may entertain him as I deem fit. cool

1 Like

Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by Nobody: 11:05am On Oct 05, 2016
OLAADEGBU:


Are you TV's spokesman/woman? Let TV deny that he hasn't trivialised abuse and then I may entertain him as I deem fit. cool

*Yawns*. Leave the messenger and address the message, oga.
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by Nobody: 11:12am On Oct 05, 2016
OLAADEGBU:


You either show us the evidence where I said that victims of abuse can legitimately jump to divorce or forever hold your horse. cool

Apologies, I seem to have jumped the gun grin. I retract the statement. But the one with TV stands.
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by raumdeuter: 1:45pm On Oct 05, 2016
OLAADEGBU:

I don't think so.

Why not? Are you saying emotional fnancial and other abuse are not enough reasons for a divorce?
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by TV01(m): 1:56pm On Oct 05, 2016
Timbuktou:
This sounds like something that would come out if the mouth of a woman or someone whose capacity for logic is zero.
...a dimwit with gender dysphoria grin

OLAADEGBU:
Show you what? undecided
What you are on about? What your point is. Is divorce permitted scripturally - for any reason? What is the scriptural response to "abuse" - of any kind?

OLAADEGBU:
That is the case. Those who trivialise abuse in marriage are only showing themselves to be domestic abusers. cool
...oh dearie me...I'm going to have to get the pictures out grin grin grin grin grin

OLAADEGBU:
Are you TV's spokesman/woman? Let TV deny that he hasn't trivialised abuse and then I may entertain him as I deem fit. cool
...it is you who has trivialised marriage - which is till death do part - according to the bible. By seeming to suggest that divorce should be allowed for abuse - playing to the gallery of the "worship ma feelins" crowd grin.

Knowing what the bible says, and being unable to refute or respond affirming your implicit suggestion, in the face of the sound exegesis you have been hose-piped with cool, you are now trying to claim "trivialisation". It's the old "has God truly said" ruse. It will not work here cool.

The bible does not permit dissolution of a consummated marital union for any reason. True Christians will not abuse their spouses - in the event of "problems", they will seek, forgiveness, healing and restoration, not divorce.

You know full well the bible does not permit divorce, but you pivoted your OP on divorce. Not the basis of solid marriages at foundation, how to ensure unions are robust, or remedies for abuse, incipient or aggravated.

That's why you got lots of applause from assorted "feelins chasers" and twice divorced husband snatchers grin - which is presumably what you were after undecided. You have craftily questioned the holy writ, debased true marriage, pushed divorce and valorised abuse. Shame on you angry.

You entertain me? You are for my amusement. I'm toying with you - although fast tiring of that undecided.


TV

1 Like

Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by orunto27: 5:45am On Oct 06, 2016
Yes, you're right. That's the reason for the case in the first instance. Reporting is Prayer. Request for Return to Status quo.
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by Nobody: 3:18pm On Oct 06, 2016
OLAADEGBU:


The church is meant to be like an hospital where the sick come to get their healing, sinners get saved, it is not meant to be an hotel or club.

I feel perfectly healthy so I will stay away.
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by Nobody: 3:18pm On Oct 06, 2016
OLAADEGBU:


Many so called Christians don't remember this in marriage they only remember the clause: 'no divorce!' cool

To each their own. wink
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by missjo(f): 5:14pm On Oct 07, 2016
OLAADEGBU:


It is not the Christian way to abuse themselves. TV is reflecting a bad example of an abusive Christian marriage.
Thought so too.

1 Like

Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 11:06pm On Oct 08, 2016
Timbuktou:


Apologies, I seem to have jumped the gun grin. I retract the statement. But the one with TV stands.

Apologies accepted, don't do that again. wink

As for TV he's got no leg to stand on. cool
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 11:09pm On Oct 08, 2016
raumdeuter:


Why not? Are you saying emotional fnancial and other abuse are not enough reasons for a divorce?

What do you think? undecided

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