If you are wondering if you are in an abusive relationship then chances are that you are in one. Nevertheless, an abusive relationship is not just defined by a single act irrespective of what popular media preaches. There are several theories around the emergence of abuse in relationships and how certain behavior predisposes one to abuse. But theories upon theories never did us any good…


So here are signs that are characteristic to abusive relationships and relationships that could turn violent. But first

TYPES OF ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS
1. Verbal Abuse begins as funny gags and then proceeds further into serious nature. You should know when your partner is serious or is just joking. If your can’t, then answer these questions:

Does (s)he

degrade you in front of friends and family,
Telling hurtful “jokes” despite your requests to stop,
Calls you names, yell, insults, criticize and accuse you?

2. Emotional Abuse is a very complex one and is often not easy to notice as it is mostly written off as one of those times.

Does your partner

Make you account for every moment of your time?
get angry and jealous if you talk to someone else? Are you accused of having affairs?
not value your thoughts or feelings?
Make you feel insecure around him
Sometimes, culture makes us unaware that some of these things are wrong and manipulative. It is ok to tell your partner when you are leaving the house but when you have to start explaining ‘why you were not in the shop by 2pm’ or ‘why your phone was busy when he tried calling by 6pm’, then there is a problem.

3. Psychological Abuse is closely related to emotional abuse but differs in that in psychological abuses.

Your partner will

Attack your vulnerabilities, educational level, skills as a parent, or physical appearance or sexual prowess
Withholding approval or affection as punishment.
Regularly threatening to leave or telling you to leave.
Being unfaithful after committing to monogamy.

4. Sexual Abuse is the second most rampant type of abuse after verbal abuse. It is everywhere. Sometimes we do it in the name of experimentation and love. Signs of this type of abuse include:

Forced sex
Insisting on sexual practices that hurts you
Refusing to use safe sex practices
Videotaping or photographing sexual acts AND posting it without your permission. (Please note that videotaping maybe spicing up your sex life but posting it without your consent, even if done in error, is abuse).
Asking you to engage in prostitution or pornography when you don’t desire to.

5. Physical Abuse is our everyday television-show abuse. It needs not much introduction as we all have seen or witnessed it. Physical abuse include violent actions like slapping you, chocking you, kicking you, beating you, pulling your hair, spitting on you and using or threatening to use a weapon against you.

Though some of these acts can be done as part of your sexual activities, it must be consensual for it not to be considered as an abuse.

What are your thoughts? Do you know someone that is suffering from these? Use the comment box below to get to us. We will surely help you!


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Physical and emotional abuse most especially